A/N: It's been a minute since I've written this one, but a friend recently had a bday and apparently she's been dying for this one for quite some time. I hope anyone that's in a similar position will enjoy this update as well!
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Chapter 3 -
The funeral took place two days later.
The church was full with everyone in town and the Allen family. Henry Allen chose to do the eulogy, since no one else in the family was brave enough to, and he wanted it to have a personal touch. By the time the service was over and the family was heading over to the cemetery, it had started to rain.
Not a wretched thunderstorm like two nights prior but a steady rain nonetheless. A tent was put up over the burial site for some coverage, but Caitlin and Barry still brought umbrellas to put over the younger children and Iris.
Barry was devastated and had been since his mother’s shocking death but for some reason found himself unable to cry. Iris had been weeping almost constantly the past two days, since Nora had been a second mother to her since she was a little girl. The other children cried too. Caitlin hadn’t been particularly attached, so she didn’t cry, but she’d had a high opinion of her mistress, so she was still sad. And Henry, the head of the household, held in his tears except for when he was alone. Someone had to be the strong one, and he’d decided early on that would be him.
Everyone placed a rose on the coffin, and Henry said a few parting words, as did Iris and Eddie and Caitlin. Barry couldn’t bring himself to, still too much in shock to even think of what words to say.
Iris reached for Barry’s hand to hold it, and he let her grasp it, but his hand felt cold and lifeless in hers, and she worried about him more than anyone else.
Days passed, and the Allen family tried to continue with their lives without their matriarch in it. Caitlin addressed her master instead of her mistress. Eddie seemed to have curled into himself and needed support from his Nana more than he had in years, even at age sixteen.
Barry was fine. He said he was fine. But Iris watched him like a hawk, spent time with him when he let her, and tucked her own wild emotions away as best as she could so something awful didn’t happen with her husband-to-be, if that was even what he was anymore.
They’d never told anyone that they were engaged that night, for good reason. Her engagement ring was hidden in a drawer in her room. She dared not put it on, except when she was alone. The promise of what could be between them seemed to be fading more with each passing day. And a month after his mother’s passing, he made an announcement at breakfast that stunned them all and filled Iris with dread more than ever.
“I’m still going to University this semester.”
Everyone set their silverware down. It was quite the clanging of forks and spoons on porcelain plates and bowls.
Iris reached for his hand as she spoke, but he conveniently reached for his glass at the same time to drink from it, and she was left empty-handed.
“Barry, do you really think tha-”
“I’ve already talked with father about it, and he’s given me his blessing to pursue schooling if I feel I’m able to succeed at this time. Which I do.”
Iris sunk into herself, no longer hungry.
“I leave in two days.”
Two days? Exactly a month from the funeral? Only one month? Wasn’t he still grieving? Didn’t he need distractions and comfort and warmth that came from family surrounding him? From her surrounding him? Not the isolation University would bring, the need to focus on assignments and class lectures and a new, strange environment.
But maybe that was what he wanted. Maybe he didn’t want her or any of them in his sights for a while. Maybe he couldn’t stand it.
Iris excused herself and got up to go to her room, where she cried, found the ring in the drawer, and hurled it across the room.
What good was it to her now?
He’d clearly forgotten all about her and them and wanted to get as far as possible away.
Sometime later, there was a light knock on the door.
“Iris? It’s me.” He paused. “Barry.”
She tried to hold in her sniffles, so maybe he’d think she was sleeping, but they slipped out anyway, and he opened the door without permission to find her sitting beside the bed, curled up, tears tracking down her face.
He almost stepped on the sparkling ring that had surprisingly not been damaged when it hit the wall and bounced back onto the floor.
He sighed and picked it up, carefully inspecting it before holding it tightly in his hand and closing the door before walking over to her. He sat beside her on the floor and eventually held the ring out to her, his palm laid flat before her.
“Wear it on a chain beneath your dress while I’m gone, as a reminder.”
“Are you sure that’s what you want?” she asked bitterly, and his brows furrowed.
“Of course. We must stick to the plan. I go to University for four years, and then we will marry. Just because Mother is…no longer here doesn’t mean we don’t continue with what we started. It’s what she would’ve wanted anyway. You know how she adored you.”
“And you,” Iris butted in, and he looked away.
“She loved all her children equally.”
Iris looked down at the ring that he still held out to her. She wanted to take it – of course she did, but something about the way he spoke now was so mechanical. There was no heart behind it. It was as if his emotions were caged up somewhere inside of him, and he would not let them free.
“Take it,” he urged.
“No,” she heard herself saying, and he looked at her in disbelief.
“You’ve changed your mind about me?” he asked.
“You don’t love me anymore,” her voice broke.
“What gave you that idea?” he asked, and for the first time his voice rose. He clutched the ring in his hand, no longer offering it to her.
“You did.”
“How? I never told you any different from the night I proposed.”
“That night is tainted now though, isn’t it? It’s the night before your mother died.”
His jaw clenched.
“That doesn’t change my feelings towards you.”
“What feelings?” she burst, getting up and putting some space between them. “You haven’t cried, you haven’t mourned, you haven’t grieved. How can you possibly feel love for me when you’ve completely shut yourself off to feeling anything at all?”
He got up and joined her in the middle of the room.
“We all grieve in our own way. Just because I don’t sob for hours the way you do…” He trailed off, seeing the hurt and anger in her eyes and knowing he was the cause behind it. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Do you want the damn ring or not?”
He held it out to her again.
She glared.
“No.”
His fingers curled around it, and he was about to leave when she continued.
“Not until I can see your heart again. I will not follow some methodical plan to get married simply because you refuse to feel. What kind of marriage would we have, void of feeling, of emotion, of love? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”
Silence stretched between them, and then—
“Fine,” he ground out. “Have it your way. Maybe I will meet another when I am away who will not find me as repulsive as you do.”
Her jaw dropped, but he’d flung the door open and walked through the opening before she could say another word. She shut it behind him and slid down the door, crying again.
Now she couldn’t even dream of what might’ve been between him because it didn’t exist at all. But at least whatever poor woman he convinced to marry him would know the emptiness she’d escaped.
He was not the man she’d fallen in love with. He wouldn’t let himself be. And until he was again, she wouldn’t be his.
…
Two days later, Barry was fully packed and ready to leave them all to go into the heart of the city for his continued education. He promised to be back for Christmas, and that he would write.
Iris’ eyes were downcast. She wouldn’t look at him. They hadn’t spoken since their huge blow-up in her bedroom. They didn’t even sit beside each other at the dinner table, because she took her food in her room, and she’d spent the last 48 hours cooped up there, crying, not sure if it was for Barry or his mother anymore.
“I will write,” he repeated, lingering where she stood, though she would still not spare him a glance. A tear trickled down her cheek despite her best efforts to subdue her aching sadness. “To all of you, I will write,” he said.
And then she looked up, and their eyes locked, and Iris wished everything could be different.
“Good luck, son, and God speed,” Henry said, shaking Barry’s hand with a firm grip and a reassuring thin smile.
“Thank you, father. I’ll be home soon.”
Then he climbed into the carriage awaiting him and gave them all one more glance before sinking into his seat.
That was the last time Iris saw him for four months.
There was a light knocking on her bedroom door late that night. She knew it was, because he always came by at this time. She just didn’t expect it, since they’d already truly said their goodnights a few hours earlier, so she jumped a little in bed when she heard it. Not that she’d been asleep. How could she be with this dazzling engagement ring shining on her finger?
“Iris,” he whispered from the other side. “It’s me.”
Scrambling out of bed, she grabbed a robe and wrapped it around herself before speeding over to the door and opening it enough for her to see who it was.
“Barry? What are y-”
He pushed on the door, and she released her grip on it to let him inside.
“I came as soon as I could hear her snores outside her door.” He chuckled, and Iris couldn’t help but grin.
“But we were already together tonight,” she told him, reminding him silently of his proposal out in the gazebo in the backyard and their lovemaking there that followed.
Barry smiled simply and warmly and took her hands in his own.
“Don’t you understand, Iris? It’s never going to be enough for me.” He took another step towards her and tucked a curl behind her ear. “I’m always going to want to spend my nights with you – every night.”
Her heart fluttered, and she reached for him, sinking her fingers into his already tousled hair and pulling him close.
He crowded her as he urged her legs back across the room to the bed, drugging her with kisses on the way.
“Mm!” was muffled when the back of her knees hit the bed.
“Sorry,” he murmured. “I guess I’m a little eager.”
“A little?” she asked, amused, and he cracked a smile.
“I can’t get enough of you, Iris West.”
“Allen,” she added. “Soon it will be West-Allen.”
Her eyes sparkled as she looked up at him.
“When will we tell everyone?”
“At the party tomorrow night, surrounded by friends and family, so they can’t object.”
“We’re only 18, Bear. Are you sure?”
“As sure as I am that the sun will rise in the morning.”
She smiled, leaning her cheek against his hand when he rested his palm there.
“And when will we wed?”
“After university.”
Her eyes widened.
“Four years?”
“It can’t be helped.” He sifted his fingers through her hair. “My family won’t allow it until then, I know it. And I don’t want to burn those bridges. We can wait.” He paused. “Unless you think someone else will come around who will know you better, love you more, care for you better than I can?”
He said it teasingly, but a part of him was worried she’d say yes.
“No, of course not,” she assured, soothing him. “I’ve just been waiting to be your wife since I was a little girl. It will be hard to wait even longer.”
“It’ll be worth the wait,” he said, toying with the belt on her robe until it came undone and the robe parted.
She looked up at him and smirked before shrugging out of the robe herself and revealing the sheer nightgown underneath.
He groaned and kissed her shoulder.
"You’re so beautiful, Iris.”
“Mmm.” She tipped her head to the side, so he had access to her neck, which he quickly took advantage of. “Tell me more.”
He grunted, sliding his hand down her silk-covered stomach and fisting his hand in it once it reached her damp core.
Iris licked her lips and wrapped her arms around him, gasping when he surprised her by lifting her off her feet and carrying her the short distance to the side of the bed and laying her down there.
Then, he undressed, pulling the protection out of his pants’ pocket and sheathing himself before he came to her, hovering over her form.
“You’re an angel,” he whispered, lightly brushing his lips against hers. “So stunning any man would be blinded by your beauty.”
“But I’m yours,” she said, fastening her eyes to his as she spoke.
His lips twitched, and his eyes darkened.
“You’re mine.”
Intertwining their fingers and pinning her hands to either side of her, he pushed into her body and contained her moan with a wild kiss. Her legs wrapped around him, and she tightened her channel around his length as he moved faster and faster inside of her, driving her insane with delirious pleasure.
It was more comfortable than the gazebo, that was for sure. And less reckless maybe, even with Nana Cait sleeping just a few doors down the hall.
Barry quieted her passionate cries as she came close to unraveling, and at last emptied himself when the friction and tension overwhelmed him and pleasure consumed them both.
Lifting his head, he pulled back to toss the rubber in the trash and returned to her.
“You can’t stay here all night,” Iris murmured, as he wrapped himself around her, tucking her head under his chin.
“Why not? Because Caitlin will find us in the morning? You know she doesn’t pop in anymore, especially not in your room.”
“Still-”
“It’s not like the whole house isn’t aware that you and I have been-”
“Barry,” she chastised, and he chuckled before sobering up.
“I’ll leave at first light, Iris.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “No sooner and no later.”
Iris sighed but snuggled into him.
“Very well,” she said.
She didn’t want him to leave sooner anyway. And if he left while she still slept, she wouldn’t have to say goodbye at all.
“Goodnight, my love.”
“Goodnight, Barry.”
She smiled against his skin and fell into a restful sleep.
…
The following evening, Barry popped into her room again, though this time with no hesitation. People had started to arrive for their annual holiday party, and Nora had sent her eldest to round up all her children and start greeting people at the door.
Naturally, he made a beeline for Iris’ bedroom where he knew she was dressing for the occasion, and would likely neglect his other siblings, trusting offhandedly in their Nana to get them where they needed to be. It was what she was paid for after all, wasn’t it?
“Iris, it’s ti-”
His breath was stolen from him, as she slowly turned around. The pale, yellow dress she wore billowed around her, and the sleeves trailing down her upper arms left her neck and shoulders bare to his viewing. Her hair was swept up partway, and though her diamond ring wasn’t on her finger, he suspected that it was on the chain dangling from her neck that disappeared beneath the fabric of her dress.
Pearl and diamond earrings hung from her ears, and her make-up was flawless, clearly done by his mother prior to now and meant to sweep him off his feet.
“Wow.”
“You like it?” she asked, her teeth shining as her lips parted for a smile. She twirled a little, showing off the bounce of the dress and indicating how perfect it would be for dancing.
He came forward, intending to kiss her, but she offered him her cheek instead, and he accepted it, understanding the importance of not smudging her lips before she was seen by the guests flooding into the house.
“You’ll be the belle of the ball.”
Her eyes twinkled.
“Will you escort me down? You look quite dapper yourself,” she complimented, giving him a once-over in his white suit.
He grinned and offered her his arm, which she took easily. Together they walked down the hall and descended the staircase.
Nora and Henry Allen were at the bottom and looked at them with satisfaction as they came together.
“You two look lovely,” Nora said, before pulling Iris aside slightly to whisper into her ear.
Barry couldn’t hear what was said and neither could Henry, but they both took note of how the women nodded and laughed at whatever transpired.
Thunder rumbled overhead suddenly, and Barry frowned.
“On the night of our party? Could it not wait?”
“Relax, darling,” his mother soothed him. “It has not yet started to rain, and history has shown that candles are awfully romantic to dance to.” She winked at him, and he sighed but accepted the explanation, hoping for the best.
“Now,” she continued, “Where is your brother? If you two are not going to welcome people, he must.”
Barry shrugged helplessly, and she rolled her eyes.
“I think he was going outside to gather Jesse’s things from earlier.”
Nora frowned. “That is Caitlin’s job. And Jesse’s too for that matter. Ten is old enough to pick up your own things.”
“I’ll go find him,” Barry said, annoyed at having to leave Iris’ side, but he’d be more annoyed to have his mother upset at one of her fantastical parties.
“Nonsense. Stay with your bride-to-be. It won’t take me long to fetch him. He can’t be far.”
But Barry said nothing to that, because he was too stunned by what she’d referred to Iris as. Iris was too, for that matter. Nora only smiled knowingly and took off for the side door, since guests were still coming in the front.
“We, uh…” Barry cleared his throat.
“Should welcome guests while she’s gone at least,” Iris said, trying to erase the shock from her face and finding it impossible.
“Right, yes.”
But a flash of lightning was seen before they reached the door, and a shriek from Nora Allen seconds later.
Barry’s eyes widened in terror, and he made a dash for the door she’d exited out of, bursting outside and finding one of their trees split down the middle, and half of it pinning her to the ground.
“Mother!”
He went to her immediately and tried to lift the splintered trunk off of her, but it was heavy and parts of it seemed to be lodged inside of her.
“No. Don’t,” she urged, hardly able to breathe. “It’s no use.”
Iris came running out.
“Oh, my god.”
“Call a doctor!” Barry said frantically. “Quick!”
Iris dashed back inside the house, presumably to do so.
Nora’s breathing became more sparse, and even when Henry came out moments later, he could not seem to do anything to alleviate the pain or to lift the tree from her fragile body. By the time some male guests gathered around to lift the tree from her body, Nora was in her last seconds of life.
“I love you…” She lifted her palm to Henry and tried to Barry, but strength dwindled. “I love you all.”
A/N: My Halloween fic. Here's hoping I finish it by the end of the month. Frankenstein AU w/ a low key happy ending.
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Synopsis: AU - After his mother's death, Barry goes mad trying to find a way to bring back the dead. Only the love of his life may bring him back to reality, but by then it might be too late.
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Chapter 1 -
Dr. Barry Allen characterized his life with many things, the good, the bad, the ugly… grief, guilt, forgiveness, love… and often, unexpectedly, these things were accompanied by a force of nature, a thunderstorm, a lightning bolt.
The first of the life-changing events to occur to him during a storm happened the evening he’d turned 12 and a half years old.
“I’m 12 and six months now!” He’d announced proudly to everyone on that day, telling even his four-year-old sister-cousin that she must see him as an adult in all ways. To which she blinked, and he was quite certain even rolled her eyes. She was obstinate in that way, Jesse was.
He remained at her side, nonetheless, taking his role as her pseudo-guardian very seriously when their (really, her) nanny napped in the rocking chair on the far side of the playroom.
And then, quite surprising them both, and the whole household one floor below them, the power went out, and all three stories of a well-lit up home descended into darkness.
Jesse started to cry, and her nanny came to and picked her up, rocking her gently.
“She’s four years old, Nana Cait. She’s not a baby.”
Caitlin turned around, eyeing him like a hawk.
“And if you were to suddenly burst into tears, would you like me to leave you sit on the floor until the lights turned back on?”
Barry put his hands on his hips and frowned deeply.
“I would never cry just because the power went out. I’m 12 and-”
“Six months, yes, I know,” she muttered, turning her back to him and continuing to soothe little Jesse.
Thunder cracked over their house, and a large branch of a backyard tree split down the middle, landing dangerously close to the window of the playroom, and making Barry’s eyes bulge as he nearly jumped out of his skin.
Caitlin, at only 18, still had it in her to tease her eldest charge about what he’d just said, but her mistress appeared in the doorway with a candle moments later, saving Barry Allen from humiliation with his heart still pounding rapidly inside his chest.
“Come on, dears,” Nora Allen said, reaching for her son and then locking eyes with his nanny. “We’re all gathering in the family room downstairs until the storm is over.”
“I’m not scared,” Barry said, his bottom lip trembling.
“Of course you’re not,” his mother said. “You’re a warrior.”
Still, he clutched at her long dress as they made their way down the grand staircase and into the homey room that blazed with warmth and light due to the stone fireplace in the middle of the wall. There 10-year-old Eddie played checkers with his father, looking up only briefly when the others came into the room.
Outside, rain poured vehemently, and lightning lit up every window, but it was the loud knock at the door when it started to subside that seemed to startle nearly everyone.
“Who can it be at this hour?” Henry Allen, master of the house, barked.
“Relax, my dear,” Nora soothed. “It must be important if they’ve come all the way up to the house.”
Caitlin started to rise up from her spot on the couch, but Nora noticed that little Jesse was now fast asleep and shook her head.
“I’ll get it, dear.”
Grabbing her candle plate, she scooped up her skirts and made her way across the room and out into the large foyer that stretched more than a normal two rooms space and was home to many of their large gatherings during happier times.
When she reached the door, she set the candle aside on a little table by the window, unlocked the door and swung it open, only to find the most mysterious gentleman on the other side. But one flash of his badge, and she relaxed.
“Officer. Is something wrong?”
The man gestured to the little girl hiding in his cloak.
“I believe you know this little lady.”
“Iris!” Her eyes widened, and then flashed back to the officer. “Yes, of course we do. Come inside, dear. She’s our young Barry’s best friend.”
Iris clutched at Nora’s side, shivering, and as Nora instantly discovered, soaking wet.
“Goodness, child, why you’re- you’re…” She trailed off. “Where are your mother and father?”
Iris sniffled against her side.
“Officer?” Nora urged.
“There was an accident in the storm. Neither survived.”
Nora’s heart nearly stopped.
“Good heavens.”
“Can you take her?”
“Yes, of course,” Nora said instantly. “As long as is necessary.”
The officer tipped his hat in departure.
“Good evening to you then.”
Nora crouched down in front of Iris, unsure if she was wiping tears off her face or simply the rain that had struck her skin.
“Where’s Wally, honey?” she asked, inquiring after the fourth member of the West household.
Iris shook her head and burst into tears again, wrapping her arms around Nora’s neck, and that gave Nora her answer. Little Iris was alone in the world. And it would be up to her and her household to see what would become of her next.
“You’re ours now, okay?” she whispered gently. “You’re safe here, and you’re ours.” She licked her lips and pulled back to look into her eyes. “How does Iris Allen sound to you?”
Her little eyes went wide, and she shook her head.
“West-Allen maybe?” Nora ventured.
“Not until Barry asks me,” she said, and that made Nora smile. Clearly the two had already made a pact with one another for when they were older. Iris didn’t want to be her son’s sister-friend the way Jesse as his cousin had become his sister. She wanted a different kind of bond.
“I think we can probably wait till then.”
She held out her hand, and Iris took it, waiting for Nora to grab the candle again before they ventured down another hall into a cozy room filled with sheets and blankets, and as it turned out, clothes too.
“Now, I don’t have any girls’ clothes your size for tonight, but I think you might fit into some of Eddie’s jammies. You can take a hot bath after the power comes back on, so you can see yourself as you bathe.”
“And you’ll be in the bathroom with me right, Mrs. Allen?”
“It’s Nora from now on, dear. And yes, I will be with you whenever you wish me to be. You may not be an Allen, but I will be your second mother, if you’ll let me. Is that a deal?”
Iris smiled tremulously and nodded, causing Nora to smile again.
“Good.” She helped her into the warm clothes and dried her off further as much as she could with a towel. “Let’s join the others then.”
Hand in hand, they returned to the family room.
“Iris?” Henry asked, astonished, but Nora only gave him a look for them to pass by him, murmuring she would explain later.
“Iris!” Barry burst seconds later and ran and scooped her up in his arms, twirling her around and making her laugh. “But what are you doing here?” he asked, after he finally set her down.
“I-”
“Iris is here to stay,” Nora said, taking a seat on the couch.
“What?!” Barry burst, nearly rousing a sleeping Jesse, but he ignored the cold eyes from Nana Cait.
“We will watch over her as if she is our own,” Nora continued.
“Another sister?” Eddie asked, looking up at his mother for confirmation.
Henry seemed to have gotten the idea when panic spread across his elder son’s face and stepped in to clarify.
“For you maybe, if you choose.”
“But not for Barry? Or Jesse?” His little sleepy face could not comprehend what his parents were saying, and Henry could only chuckle.
“Nope!” Barry declared. “She’s going to be my wife!” And he swooped in and pressed a kiss to Iris’ damp cheek.
And then the lights came back on, and Nora knowingly smiled.
St. Clare’s Behavioral Health is here for you, thanks to Dr. Allen Menkin
It began as the Allocca Developmental Disabilities Center (a charitable foundation established by the grandfather of a child with severe ADHD) at St. Clare’s in Denville, NJ. Dr. Allen Menkin started this program to help children with developmental and mental health disorders. With his vision and guidance, this grew into St. Clare’s Mental and Behavioral Health Center.
St. Clare’s Behavioral Health now has multiple locations in Morris and Sussex Counties . Going beyond the original childhood development care, they cover a wide range of needs for children and adults alike. They provide counseling for children, adults, and families, as well as Intensive Family Support Services. There is an intensive psychiatric care unit, children crisis intervention, adult crisis intervention, chemical dependency care, postpartum wellness care, even transitions and career services. St. Clare’s even has a psychiatric emergency/crisis hotline available 24/7 (973-625-0280). Anyone who needs any sort of mental help can reach out to St. Clare’s.
It is strange to think that one man could have started something so big, something that can have such an impact on individuals and a community. Dr. Allen Menkin truly has dedicated his life to caring for children and the mental health of others. In an age that is all about quick fixes, it is nice to be reminded that sometimes you need to work hard to get what you need. One man worked hard to build something great, and sometimes a person needs to work hard through counseling and perseverance to achieve stable, or even excellent, mental health. Great things can be achieved when you take the first step toward them. St. Clare’s is here to be that first step.
BBOG group identifies Speaker of abducted Chibok girls as Dorcas
BBOG group identifies Speaker of abducted Chibok girls as Dorcas
Members of the Bring Back Our Girls (BBOG) advocacy yesterday identified the speaker of the abducted Chibok girls.
The identity of the girl, who spoke on behalf of her mates in the Boko Haram video, was given as Dorcas Yakubu.
Dorcas, who was among the schoolgirls kidnapped over two years ago with her school mates, was identified by a member of the BBOG and spokesperson of the Kibaku Area…
