Fear (Part 8) - Jonathan Crane
Pairing: Jonathan Crane x (female) reader
Warnings: Language, Mention of drugs, Mention of sex, Alcohol, Mention of abuse
Summary: Reader and Dr. Crane get to know each other a little better.
Author’s Note: Working more on trying to advance the story! Also testing out how morally ambiguous the character himself can be. Any feedback is always appreciated 🥰 -Kelsie
Word Count: 2,453
“We can go back to my apartment,” You said as you settled into the seat next to Jonathan on the bus, “Chris has a shift until midnight,”
He nodded silently.
“I’m sorry about last time,” You said, blushing, “I didn’t want you meeting Rex, and Chris usually isn’t that drunk,”
“It’s alright,” He said, offering a reassuring smile. His posture tensed up after you mentioned going back to your empty apartment though, and you hoped he didn’t think you were trying to sleep with him.
“How can you guys afford living in such a large apartment?” He asked after a moment of silence, “If you don’t mind me asking- unless Chirs makes an obscene amount of money from waitressing at the diner?”
“I pay most of the rent and bills,” You explained, “My dad makes a lot of money back in Oregon, he sends me a certain amount monthly for bills and stuff. He pays for my schooling too,”
Jonathan nodded silently again, waiting for you to continue. The bus creaked loudly as it stopped and several people passed your guys’ seats to get out.
“It’s because he feels bad,” You said, quieter now as the bus started moving again, “He left my mom when I was young then made no effort to raise me. Now he just sends me money to fill whatever guilt he has from it,”
Jonathan watched you closely as you awkwardly played with the hem of your shirt.
“As long as I’m in school he’ll keep sending the money,” You mumbled, “I don’t even want my degree anymore,”
“What are you getting it in?”
“Technically it’s business,” You said, laughing slightly, “But I have no interest in that. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing anymore,”
“Most Juniors feel like that,”
“I’m a Sophomore,”
He freezed completely beside you.
“So, you’re what… 20?” He asked cautiously.
“I feel like there’s worse age gaps,” You said, defensively furrowing your eyebrows.
“I just didn’t realize you were so young,”
“It’s three years Jonathan,” You laughed, “Get off your high horse,”
The bus pulled up at your stop and you quickly led him off and down the block towards your apartment building. A chill autumn breeze swept past and you tightened your jacket around your frame awkwardly.
“I can’t believe we didn’t even know each other's ages,” You said, mindlessly kicking a rock as the two of you walked down the cracked sidewalk, “We really don’t know much about each other,”
“I can’t believe I assumed you were a Junior,” Jonathan mumbled, deep in thought, “You’re very mature for your age,”
“Again,” You stopped suddenly in front of him causing him to awkwardly halt so as to not bump into you, “It’s a three year age gap, you’re not significantly older than me,”
“Alright alright,” He smiled, following you as you started walking again.
“So you don’t like your father much,” He said, earning a nod from you, “Are you close with your mother?”
“Kind of,” You shrugged as the two of you approach your building, “I mean she raised me but I don’t really keep in touch with her,”
“Did she ever remarry after your father?”
“Oh yea,” You laughed as you typed in the code to get into the building, “Several times, none of them worked out though,”
“Really?”
“Marriage never really works out in my family,” You said softly, leading him to the elevator.
“I’m sorry,”
“It’s alright,” You smile, trying to lighten the mood, “I’ve given up on the idea of it,”
You looked away, missing a confused look from him.
Once the two of you reached your apartment, you went straight for the fridge and pulled out a bottle of Chris’ wine.
“I do believe it’s your turn to tell me about your family,” You said, pouring the both of you a glass, “Are you close with your parents?”
“I never knew them,” He said, taking the glass you handed him, “My mother had me out of wedlock and it upset my grandmother so much that she took me to raise by herself,”
You stared at him awkwardly for a moment before setting the wine bottle down softly.
“You never even met them?” You asked before taking a quick sip from your glass.
He shook his head and looked away from you, his eyes dancing over the contents of your kitchen mindlessly.
“Were you close with your grandmother then?”
“No,” He said sternly, his posture stiffening again, “The deep rooted anger she had for my mother she took out on me,”
You stood frozen for a moment before awkwardly placing your wine glass down on the granite countertop.
“She hit you?”
He looked back over at you now, still tense, “She did more than that,” He said quietly, “It’s not something that I need to get into,”
“Right,” You said quickly, “Sorry, I wasn’t trying to pry,”
“It’s okay,” He said, looking away again, “I left the second I graduated high school. I came here to go to GSU. I had a full ride so I didn’t need her help,”
“Damn,” You said, watching him closely as his eyes glanced over the pictures of you, Chris, and Rex that were taped to your fridge, “Did you like high school then? It sounds like you were really successful during it,”
“The academic work was easy,” He said before taking a sip of his wine, “But I was heavily bullied,”
You awkwardly nodded, taking a mental note to stop asking questions.
“They made fun of me for my body frame,” He said uncomfortably, still avoiding eye contact, “I was too tall and skinny,”
“I like your body,”
He looked over at you now, his whole body stiffening uncomfortably. He looked nervous.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” You said quickly, “I just think that…”
You trailed off quietly, not wanting to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was. He kept the eye contact with you intensely, his eyebrows furrowing with confusion.
“I find you very physically attractive,” You said awkwardly, a deep blush setting into your cheeks, “Is that so surprising?”
“Yes,” He said, his expression staying stagnant.
“Well..” You awkwardly looked away, his gaze increasingly making you more and more insecure, “We’re dating… and I wouldn’t date someone that I didn’t find physically attractive,”
When he didn’t respond you looked back over at him. He was staring down into his glass of wine deep in thought.
“I’m sorry,”
“Why are you apologizing?” He asked, looking up at you now.
“I just feel like I made you uncomfortable,”
He didn’t respond again, and instead awkwardly set his wine glass down on the counter next to yours.
“Have you ever been with someone before?” You asked, watching him closely.
He looked up at you with a different look this time. It wasn't uncomfortable or tense, it was insecure, frightened even.
“No,” He said after a moment of silence. He looked away from your gaze again.
The both of you shared a moment of silence, the only noise coming from the muffled Gotham traffic outside and some loud footsteps from your neighbors above.
“Are you interested in dating me at all?” You asked quietly, a growing insecurity forming inside you.
He looked over at you awkwardly, his hands fumbling to rest inside his pockets.
“I am,” He said, a blush forming, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing,”
“It’s okay,”
Before anything else could be said, the front door of your apartment was flung open. Jonathan's tense frame beside you jumped quickly.
“Whaddup bitches,”
Rex rounded the corner from the front door to lean casually in the opening to the kitchen, trapping you and Jonathan inside.
“What are you doing here, Rex,” You said angrily. Jonathan reached for his wine glass beside you and quickly downed the rest of it in one swig.
“I’m crashing here tonight,” He explained, watching Jonathan with an impressed expression, “Our apartment flooded,”
You closed your eyes for a moment to focus on your breathing so you wouldn’t explode in front of Jonathan.
“I won’t bother you guys, don’t worry,” Rex said, putting his hands up defensively, “You won’t even know I’m here,”
You and Jonathan watched as he spun around and flung himself onto the couch, quickly turning on the TV. The Simpsons theme played loudly from it and he made no effort in turning it down.
The growing frustration inside you started to boil over and you leaned on the counter beside you for a moment to try and control it.
“I can leave, if you want,” Jonathan whispered beside you.
“No,” You said quickly. You grabbed his upper arm and led him out of the kitchen and past Rex on the couch into your bedroom. You slammed the door loudly behind you, frustrated at the fact that you could hear the TV playing outside still.
“God I hate him so much,” You said, angrily pacing in front of Jonathan, who was distracted with the contents of your bedroom, “He literally doesn’t care about how any of his actions affects others,”
Jonathan wandered over to your bookshelf silently, his eyes quickly glancing over each title on every book spine. You stopped pacing, watching him cautiously.
“Don’t judge me too hard,”
He turns to look at you with a playful grin on his face.
“You have a lot of romance for someone who’s given up on the idea,” He said, looking back over at your books.
“I gave up on the idea of marriage,” You clarified, walking over toward him, “Not love in general,”
He looked down at you now as you were right next to him. Some silence passed as you both stared at each other for a moment. You took this as your chance and quickly yet awkwardly pulled him down towards you by his tie, kissing him softly. His frame was tense, and he didn’t exactly kiss you back, but he didn’t pull away until you did.
He stared at you shocked for a moment before straightening his posture up again.
“Was that okay?” You asked, watching him closely.
He seemed at a loss for words, still staring at you. He nodded slowly, trying to regain his composure.
“You’ve never kissed anyone before, have you?” You asked, noting how red his face had turned.
“Is it obvious?” He asked, embarrassed.
“No,” You laughed, your hand still on his tie, “I was just wondering,”
You played with the silk tie in your hand for a moment, examining the deep blue shade before letting go of it and stepping away.
“I didn’t mean to overstep any boundaries,” You said quietly.
“You didn’t,” He said, still watching you tensely.
Rex laughing loudly from the living room filled the silence in your room and you rolled your eyes, irritated. Jonathan loosened up now, smiling at you softly as he fondly watched you storm over to your bedroom door, throwing it open.
“Dude,”
Rex looked over at you from his relaxed position on the couch, his arm elbow deep in a bag of chips.
“What’s up?” He asked before shoving his face with a handful.
“You have to leave,” You said, angrily crossing your arms over your chest, “Crash somewhere else, seriously,”
“Christina said I could stay here,” He said defensively, sitting up suddenly from his relaxed position.
Jonathan had walked over to the door to stand beside you now, sending you a confused glance before looking out towards Rex.
“I don’t care what Chris said,”
“Think about it this way,” Rex started, setting the chips down on the coffee table in front of him before wiping his hands off sloppily on his shirt, “I’m three times your size and you couldn’t get me out of here even if you wanted to,”
You didn’t respond, and felt Jonathan tense up beside you.
“Is he threatening you?” He asked quietly, watching you closely.
“Unless either of you wanna try?” Rex continued from the couch, throwing his hands out.
You stepped back into your room and pulled Jonathan out of the way before closing your door again in defeat.
“He can’t threaten you like that,” Jonathan said, watching as you rubbed your head tiredly, “It’s your apartment, you can call the police to get him out,”
“I can’t call the cops,” You mumbled, walking over to your bed to sit down, “Chris smokes weed, they could find it,”
He continued watching you as you groaned loudly, pulling at the roots of your hair out of frustration.
“I could get him out,” He said sternly. You looked up at him, noticing how tense he still was.
“No offense Jonathan,” You said, standing up again to walk back towards him, “He’s got a bit of muscle on you,”
“I could use my toxin,” He said, looking down at you now, “He would be the perfect person to test it on- I’ve been meaning to test a liquidized version of it on someone-”
“Wait what?” You interrupted him quickly backing away, “You can’t test your fear toxin on my roommates boyfriend, Jonathan,”
“Why not?” He asked, confused, “Think about it, Y/N, if anyone really deserves to be tested on, wouldn’t it be him?”
You stopped for a moment, trying to rationalize what he was saying in your head.
“Come on, I’m sure he’s done worse than that,” Jonathan whispered, walking over to you, “You didn’t seem that surprised by a threat,”
“He’s hit Chris before,” You mumbled, looking away, “He cheats on her all the time,”
“See?” He reached his hands out now, grabbing your hips softly and pulling you towards him slightly, “Can you think of anyone better to test it on?”
You were so shocked at his physical advancements that you shook your head mindlessly agreeing with him.
“Rex,” You say loudly, stepping out of your room again a few minutes later, “Jonathan has this alcohol that he gets from some students at the university called ‘Party Potion’ that it’s harder than anything you’ve ever drank before,”
Rex sits up, intrigued, “Really?”
“Yes,” Jonathan steps into the doorframe beside you, “It’s basically a hallucinogen but it’s impossible to track since it’s in alcohol, so you won’t get caught like you could with tabs or pills,”
“Do you have it on you now?”
“No,” Jonathan said quickly, “But I can get you some the next time I come over,”
“Nice,” Rex said, smiling over at you, “It’s about time you brought a guy home with some use,”
You nodded shamefully, still unsure as to whether or not you wanted to drug him. You couldn’t help but consider it though, especially considering how much you trusted Jonathan’s judgement. And he thought it was a great idea.
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