Nov 28, 2025
i’m fucking everyone in gotham no one is safe around me.
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i’m fucking everyone in gotham no one is safe around me.
Batman's Rogue Gallery + Love Languages
Multi-characters x fem!reader | Harley Quinn, Scarecrow, The Joker, Two-Face, The Riddler
| fluff & some NSFW. MDNI, 18+
Harley Quinn: Acts of Service.
Dr. Harleen Quinzel always knew the importance of showing someone you were there for them, and how it could only be achieved by showing them through little actions every day. Harley Quinn is more than eager to show you such love.
She’ll make you coffee in the morning and bake you midnight sweet treats, just to see you smile. Do they taste good? Not at all, but you’d rather take a bullet than break it to her, especially when she looks up at you like that.
She wants to know about anything and everything that you love. She’ll put trackers in your purse so she can follow you around Gotham, taking note of all your favorite places and what things you like to buy, so she can buy them for you too. It’s not obsessive, she thinks. She just wants to know what you like so she can get them first; if that’s not love than what is?
She’ll devote entire evenings and nights for you. There’s rose petals on the floor leading up to the bed, with candles everywhere and a suggestive jazzy song play in the background. She’s taken care of all your troubles or any chores that needed to be done in your shared apartment, so you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Harley doesn’t expect anything in return; she just wants you to lay back, and let her make you feel good. Let her take care of everything.
NSFW:
She has a few raunchy sex books she likes to read; you can hear her giggling over them at night. She puts sticky tabs on the positions that catch her eye, determined to scissor you in any position possible. She’s creative, flexible and owns a strap; trust, she will find a way.
It also goes without saying that she’s a huge munch. She will spend hours lost in your pussy, eager to make you orgasm again and again and again. She just wants to please her girlfriend, was that such a crime?
Scarecrow: Words of Affirmation.
Like with Harley, Dr. Jonathan Crane has a deep, psychological understanding of the mind, and just how necessary showing love to his partner can be. Verbal recognition for your efforts, soft praise when he sees you trying your best, adoring compliments to boost your confidence... it’s all a science when it comes down to it.
Just seeing how your pupils dilate every time he speak to you in encouragement gives him a rush like no other. You truly were wrapped around his finger, weren’t you? The way you act like a little teacher’s pet, hungry for his approval, how could he not shower you in praise?
He’ll take an academic approach to your love, and after a while of intently studying you, he has a full understanding of the emotional and psychological effects his words have on you. Jonathan is quick to remember which pet names and phrases really hit the nail on the head, enjoying the way you blush and stammer upon hearing them.
“I’m so proud of you.” Scarecrow tells you one evening when he notices you feeling particularly down, and just like that your bad mood is gone as quick as it came.
He’d save telling you he loves you for the privacy of your bedroom, where only you can hear, and only he can see the delicious way you react to it.
NSFW:
He knows how important words of affirmation during sex is, how intimate and passionate it can be. He will absolutely whisper your favorite pet names into your ear as he slowly pumps his cock inside you, reveling in the sounds that come from your mouth in return. He knows just what to say to get you to your orgasm, and he doesn’t stop there. He compliments your body, the way you take his length so obediently, how good and sweet you are for him…
His doting words will only continue as you both come down from your high, making sure to tell you exactly what you need to hear during aftercare.
The Joker: Physical Touch.
Joker’s hands always find a way to be on your person. They can be possessive, playful or passionate… But they are on you.
The Joker is as unpredictable as they come, and while you can predict he’ll want to somehow be touching you, the how always comes as a surprise. He’ll pull you in his lap and tickle you until you’re crying with laughter, or playfully grope you in the middle of a bank heist. He’ll pass by you in the bathroom and pinch your butt, giggling as you squeal in indignation.
He’ll place his gloved hands against your throat-- a wordless reminder that he’s in charge where it really matters.
His love language is not one sided; he adores the way you touch him back. The ways it’s almost shy and cautious, like you weren’t sure if he’ll bite. The way you subconsciously lean into him when you want his protection, like how you squeeze his hand when walking through a dark alley, nuzzling closer to him as if it shielded you from danger. Forget biting-- he could just eat you up.
Love for him is foreign- something more akin to obsession- but if you do manage to get under his skin, best believe he will try to get under yours, one touch at a time.
NSFW:
Marking you is a huge turn-on for your murderous clown, and he can and will get quite creative in the process. Bruises from hands that grip your hips too roughly when fucking you to tears, hickeys blossoming all over your throat and breasts. He goes all in, and he’ll laugh gleefully if you return the favor.
He always takes a more dominant role when sex is involved. Mostly it stems from the desire to be in charge, but also because there is something so exciting about how submissive and obedient you get for him when he acts like that. If he didn't know any better, he'd say you liked it.
Two-Face: Gift Giving.
Fancy wine. Diamonds. A luxurious steak dinner. A trip to a nice hotel somewhere far and warm, somewhere that wasn’t Gotham. These were the things Harvey Dent would have offered you- lavished you with- before the incident. Before him. Nowadays, getting on a private jet and leaving the city just wasn’t so simple.
That isn’t to say that his eagerness to treating his woman to gifts and a good time completely goes away. Not at all; he just has to be more tactile with his approach. Less loud, but not necessarily at a lesser cost. They wouldn't embarrass you, or themselves, like that.
Harvey still buys you fancy jewelry made of only the most delicate stones; he just finds them on the black market as opposed to the mall (or steals them). He’ll still grab you a gorgeous bouquet of the prettiest roses; it would just have been at the expense of a florist held at gunpoint.
He puts extra care into remembering special events like your birthday or anniversary, and adores the way your eyes light up when you realize he’s bought you a mountain of expensive gifts. Perhaps it’s the way he was raised, but Harvey thinks a man should spoil his woman, especially one that’s been as loyal as you.
His girl deserves only the best, and that’s something even Two-Face can agree on.
NSFW:
He loves fucking you in new lingerie; they both do. He’ll give you an unlimited budget to spend on frilly panties, lacey bras, those cute little garters, and constantly gift you new ones for you to wear for him. He also loves seeing the way a new pendant hangs between your breasts as you ride him, the diamonds sparkling every time you bounce on his cock.
If he’s feeling truly frisky, he’ll buy you sex toys and make you use them on yourself as he watches. God, he loves to watch.
The Riddler: Quality Time.
I mean, he feels most loved when you give him undivided and completely focused attention; so obviously you must feel the same way. Right? Right!
Eddie will come up behind you while you're engaged in whatever hobby has occupied your time, fully curious and ready to yap. What are you doing? Why do you do it? Are you having fun?
Not the biggest fan of parallel play, which is when both of you do your own thing in the same room, but not really talk. Don’t get him wrong, being next to each other while you both enrich your minds… can be nice! But it’s not nearly as nice as doing something together in mental proximation, not just physical. Besides, why would you ignore him to begin with?
To no-one's surprise, Riddler is a big fan of board games and trivia nights; no he’s not cheating-- he’s just that good.
He’ll always let you stay right next to him as he concocts his newest idea or fusses over the newest blueprint schematics; God, he’s such a good boyfriend. You are so lucky to have him, he thinks to himself.
Quality time really is everything to this man, so for your own sake show ample interest and make plenty of eye contact. He will get whiny and upset if you use your phone too much and don’t respond to his questions; do you hate him? Should he just die?
NSFW: He likes having you around to stroke his ego, among other things. He likes it when you tell him how good he is and how much you love his presence. Because of that, Eddie doesn’t think he could ever tire of you or your company, and that extends into the bedroom. If you look him in the eyes and tell him you need him- that you want to spend the next few hours wrapped around his body and completely at his mercy- his brain will short circuit.
He wants to be with you, before and after. He wants long foreplay, heavy kisses, and even heavier eye contact. Sex with him is never a quick endeavor, no, he’s much too selfish for that. He could spend hours inside you before finally being done, and then still want to warm his cock in you as you both fall asleep.
kinda sad we barely get to see him as scarecrow!! he really embodied it and we deserved more scenes besides the literal 3 we got of him like this
Monster and Beings Boyfriend Spicy Headcanons
Spicy headcanons of how monsters and beings would act as your boyfriend and significant other. Written as original content/my version.
Monsters and Beings: Magician/Sorcerer, Super-Powered person, Zombie, Vampire, Werewolf, Fairy, Elf, Merman, Dragon, Scarecrow, Living Statue, Android, Robot, Alien/Extraterrestrial
(Warnings: fluff, gender neutral reader, smut, and terms of endearment.
Word Count: 2,500 words)
~~~
Wizard/Sorcerer boyfriend secretly loved when you would interrupt him from his studies with kisses or excuses to leave his notes unattended. Not all the time, but he had a weakness for your company. Any kiss to his neck or compliment to his intelligence had him yearning for your skin to meet his own.
Intimately, it was a toss of a coin whether he was puddy in your hands to love on for hours or if he had enough sense to communicate with you within heated passions.
Parchments, scrolls, and trinkets were scattered across the desk. None of it mattered at that moment. Not when your boyfriend had you laying across his notes, completely bare and beckoning him closer.
"Maybe we should study each other more." He panted, gaze fixed on you as he pushed down his trousers.
"I couldn't agree more."
He joined you on the desk with eager kisses and fingers that lit all the candles in the room. A shared experience that filled the room with accidental charms and smeared notes.
Good thing the desk was sturdy.
~~~
Super-powered boyfriend like many powered individuals had an added durability. Meaning, you didn't have to treat him as fragile glass. With you on the other hand, your boyfriend was careful. Aware of your limits. That became more apparent when he'd dial back on his grip or speed of movement with you. He didn't always want to hold back, but he cared so much about your well-being to do otherwise.
Whether you knew of his powers or not, you were always assuring him you were fine. You wanted him to worry less and enjoy the moments more.
"More pressure," you instructed in a growing daze. Legs parted across the mattress.
"Are you sure?" Your boyfriend eyed how his fingers moved between your thighs.
You nodded, hands gripping the blankets since he was out of reach.
"If it hurts, you tell me."
Once he increased the pressure of his ministrations, you were a babbling mess from the intense pleasure. All from the touch of your caring and attentive lover. Superpowers may or may not had been included.
~~~
Zombie boyfriend knew his flustered state appeared different. He knew his body reacted differently than a human's. Similar, but obviously stronger with varying speeds. He enjoyed it nonetheless, morning or night. It was all more apparent when you two got a little too handsy.
"Look at you." You cooed, watching his eyes glazing over while you stroked his member. "Do you feel good?"
He moaned, deep and gutteral. Head heavy on a pillow and hands on you, unmoving. The pleasure so good. Your touch so very, very welcome.
Of course he liked it. Your boyfriend loved when you touched him, unafraid and attentive. He felt more alive and beyond himself. Any time you laid a kiss on his skin or caressed him just so, he knew you loved him. That you cared about him tremendously.
"Love you," he moaned, letting his body rock with your rhythmic hand. "So much. So good."
You kissed his open mouth.
~~~
Vampire boyfriend could be a tease at times. When the mood was right and you blocked out all but one light. That was what he preferred, the privacy of night. To be thrust into an illusion that it only ever was the pair of you. He could give you all of his undivided attention.
Strength and great vision came in good use as he carried you to the bedroom.
He could feel you in light and in darkness. Outside under the open sky or indoors on top of the softest fabrics. Your boyfriend did not have a preference where you two joined in ecstasy as long as he was with you.
"How do I ever survive this?" He grunted as he pushed his hips up into you. "How do I bare such a view? Such exquisite touch?"
"Because you said you'd shrivel up and die without me." You answered with a growing smile.
Some nights his theatrics were very romantic.
"An endless torture. Ah-- That felt good." He thrusted a little faster. "What was I saying?"
You clenched around him and his thoughts ran away once more.
~~~
Werewolf boyfriend knew about the stereotypes and stories written about his kind. That didn't mean all of it was true or that everything was false either.
Did he start to crave having you every major moon phase in a tangle of hot limbs and bedsheets? He totally did.
Did he want to chase you to hear your heart beat loudly? He considered it.
Did he want to mark you as his mate? You bet.
Did he expect you to change the tables on him? No, not really.
"How--" Your boyfriend panted. "How did you catch me?" He laid on his side, trapped between you and a tree trunk.
"I have my secrets and my secret knowledge." You pumped his length as fast as he was panting.
"No...fair. I have super... I'm faster."
You shook your head. "You're going to pass out of you don't start breathing."
Your boyfriend whined in reply.
~~~
Fairy boyfriend could stare at your face and be practically bewitched by your entire being. With or without a potion to temporarily alter his size, he was all over you on special occasions. Those being: birthdays, end of work weeks, completing the bills, start of a new season, a new outfit, anniversaries, and vacation time.
"So much to love," he moaned into your chest. His hips thrusting slowly as you caressed circles on his soft behind.
Every touch you gave sent him into a fog of heated desire fueled by his feelings for you.
"I will love every part of you ten times over." He vowed before his lips latched on to your nipple. Eyelids fluttering shut and high pitched mewls coming from his throat.
You bit your lip at the sight.
Your boyfriend always intended to map your body with his love. Each time you both shared privately and intimately, he charted a new area of your skin with all himself.
~~~
Elf boyfriend tended to be more subtle with most affection, however he became more open the longer he knew you. Intimacy came in forms of him tracing the contours of your body with his fingers, staring at you longingly, kissing his way up your arm. Those were the most common ways of all that he displayed to you and only you.
Emotions could be deeper and his touch reflected that whether soft or firm. When you reciprocated and encouraged with all your love, your boyfriend was keen on giving.
"My heart calls for yours each day I wake," your boyfriend placed a gentle kiss to your inner wrist. "This night may ease its search."
You cradled his face in your hands once he leaned down upon you fully. Bodies intertwined.
"To have you this close," he gazed at you with an enormous amount of love, "is a beautiful gift."
"You should stay."
"Then I accept with my entire being."
You brought him into a kiss as the pair of you continued in your gentle coupling.
~~~
Merman boyfriend was always blown away by how you moved in water. His home where you would forever be welcomed.
As like water, your boyfriend's love displayed itself both gently and strongly. All backed by his passions, you met him with equal longing to share in constant waves of love.
Whether on land, in water, or somewhere in-between the both of you found a way to act on your love, always.
Ignoring the water puddles growing across the tile floor, your boyfriend kept you rolling your hips in a hurried pace. Both of you set on experiencing more and more pleasure.
He thoroughly enjoyed watching you as he managed to sink further into the bathtub's water. What water remained. Not all of it could be splashed out from your movements.
"Water suits you," he panted. His gaze transfixed on the droplets sticking and rolling along your skin.
"Are you considering this position to be your favorite?" Smiling in your pleasured haze, you tightened your grip on his forearms and applied pressure to your hips as they rolled on his tail.
"I am."
~~~
Dragon boyfriend loved when you would cuddle up to him and share warmth. Some days sweetness was not enough as he watched you investigate his many treasures. Tail twitching behind him.
He wanted you more than the gold necklace in your hands. More than the golden flecks you stamped on your face.
"Do you remember our last mating?" He asked, muscles flexed and ready.
"Why? Did you forget?" You chuckled. His desire was not lost upon you, it was as obvious as if he made a banner declaring it.
Gold and other treasures clinking together, your boyfriend rushed at you. Heat everywhere, scales rubbing your skin, tongue tasting your arousal in the air, and his body nearly conforming to your own.
"Easy," you reminded him as you opened yourself to him fully.
He did his best. Deep moans bounced off of the walls as he entered you. He kept you close, held in his hold or pressing you further into his treasures with each thrust.
Loving you as he did, it would be some considerable time before his need was sated. Your boyfriend could hardly get enough of you.
~~~
Scarecrow boyfriend often fantasized of the two of you in the back of a pick-up truck or in the middle of a corn maze making love under a harvest moon. Something to bring more warmth to a season that brought chill to the air where you resided.
His skin was textured and mind often on you. A perfect start whenever you both sought a little more that kissing and handholding. A pair of lovers wanting to be closer.
What he didn't expect was being entranced by the golden lights of sunset highlighting your body in a field and you grinding on his denim-covered thigh like there was a time limit. Perhaps you were racing the sun. Or perhaps you had a more difficult day than you said earlier when he asked.
"You looking dazzling. Simply radiant." He kneaded your skin in all the places that made you shiver. "Take whatever you need to please you, my dear."
"You."
"Pardon?"
"I'm going to take...you...until the sun sets."
"My dear, you certainly may." He captured your lips in a rough kiss as you clawed at his clothes.
~~~
Living statue boyfriend no longer felt alone as the world lived on. He had you and saw the beauty in what others had experienced for years. He was strong enough to handle most things, but seeing you bare as an ancient statue had him experiencing new emotions. Ones he had only heard from voices in passing or hidden beyond his sight.
His size and shape did not deter you from wanting him in a manner that made him wonder if he could sweat as you could. There was no way he dreamed of refusing your wishes nor desires.
You doted on him and made him start to have a renewed worry about his strength compared to your own. That didn't particularly matter to you seeing as you bounced on his hard length without complaints. Again and again while he tried grounding himself in reality. A difficult task. Near impossible as he finally considered himself a perfect fit for his precious love, you.
"Be careful," he advised gently.
You moaned, keeping your pace.
"I presume you will never stop amazing me." Your boyfriend watched on in wonder and begun to consider what else you two could possibly do together.
~~~
Android boyfriend was made to be as humanlike as possible. The pair of you did not realize how much he could feel until you became more physically intimate. You found that your boyfriend was much more flexible than he looked. So you would position yourself comfortably wherever you wanted before he rushed in with a multitude of kisses and a steady stance.
Lounging in the armchair with one leg hung over an armrest, you eyed your boyfriend's synthetic skin as it traveled your body. Across your skin and within your warmth, he moved without losing a fraction of endurance. He could go for as long as you both wanted.
"Deeper."
At your words, he angled himself inhumanly. His pelvis closer in an impossible way. But he thrusted every inch of himself in. Leaving no space untouched.
His mouth fell open, lost in you. His love and free life. All of his sensors sent out alerts of his system. Those would be given attention later, much later.
~~~
Robot boyfriend knew his strength and how his structure was durable. Some parts of him were mismatched. Meaning, he wasn't the most comfortable sentient to move around or touch. When it came to strong physical desires, he let you know and orchestrate. He didn't want to leave one bruise on you, his dear life companion. You were prepared for his worries and your combined desires.
His face plate turned another shade of pink as you complimented him between whines of pleasure. He sat absolutely still on the dining chair. Worry still lingering in his system. Yet his hard body was not causing you any discomfort. Quite the opposite.
Your hands gripped his shoulders tightly and he added a variation to the vibration of his hand. Watching your body practically convulse in a climax made purple shades appear on his face. He was relieved and fascinated by your clear enjoyment.
~~~
Alien/Extraterrestrial boyfriend had specific routines, rules, and levels of organization. Which meant having you in his ship well past when he should had been sleeping was a wake up call. Not everything had to be the same everyday. Making new rules instead of exceptions was his logical reasoning. Clinging to your body as he bent you over a console deep into intercourse didn't apply to anything. Unless he considered a rule in your relationship: love wholeheartedly. Time had no restraint in that rule. He would keep you satisfied no matter what. If there was a way to do it, he would figure it out especially if it meant continued times of pleasure.
None of the buttons, switches, or toggles you were rolling over activated anything. Perhaps you should had known the console was turned off, but you were too preoccupied with your lover.
The cool air within the ship turned stuffy the longer your boyfriend thrusted in rhythm to his heartbeat. The more he wrapped himself around you as much as he could. His frame touched every part of you, caressing and holding as he let out string after string of compliments. Not all you could translate. Yet you understood completely. He loved you and his mind felt fuzzy from how much pleasure was coursing through him.
~~~
~~~
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Um… yeah
Alright, I extremely enjoyed the silly villain reader posts, and my mind just thought about this, how would the heroes and villains react if Reader just slept on their lap?
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I originally wrote Silly Villain! Reader as sort of a refresher, a palette cleanse. Something I could return to and daydream about to get my mind off more darker requests. So I hope you enjoy this! I’ve included a few more characters because why not?
Aquaman -[ROMANTIC]
He would freeze as you slumped into his arms, before rearranging you into a more comfortable position whilst ignoring all the jealous stares he’s getting from his coworkers. He would bundle you up and just carry you around in like a baby sling. You are encompassed by blanket and beefy muscle, where he goes you must follow. He even takes you with him on missions, but by then he’s rearranged the blanket sling to be on his back. Arthur Curry is like softly obsessed with you, not yandere, but like obsessed in the way that he just wants to be close to you and will ignore anything and everything if you so much as stir. Speaking of you stirring, this man doesn’t really care if someone wakes you up. His focus is on you, calming you with soft whispered words and gentle touches to the face, brushing away loose hair. Like I said, the man’s enamoured.
Bane -[ROMANTIC]
Would not move. He could easily bring you with him wherever he goes but to him, your comfort is his priority. And to be fair, you’ve used him like a jungle gym so this isn’t really that crazy for his goons. Bane would take all meetings and updates from right where he had sat before you climbed into his lap. Unlike a lot of the others on this list, you didn’t accidentally fall asleep on him. You did it on purpose. No one can blame you, he gives the best cuddles and is just the perfect balance between warm and firm that just knocks you the fuck out. You need sleep? Bane’s arms are already open, waiting for you. Though if anyone woke you up or was being too loud, he would kill them with one hand. Like snap their neck whilst cuddling you close to him, no one disturbs his sunshine. His goons have learnt to whisper their reports and tiptoe down corridors.
Batman -[PLATONIC]
This might upset some people, but I think Batman just has a platonic neutrality with you, not romantic. He gets a headache when he’s working with or against you because he knows he’s got to baby-proof the Batmobile and holding cell you’ll eventually go to. However, you also lower his walls which is super rare for Bruce. He is your number 1 snuggle buddy, against his will. For some reason, your yawns (perfected with the cartoonish snot bubble that pops and wakes you up) are like chloroform to him. As soon as he hears it, it takes like two seconds before he’s gone to sleepy land. This has happened so much that whenever he is on a mission concerning you, he has to have a chaperone so he doesn’t sleep. If the two of you happened to fall asleep next to each other, Bruce is most likely laying his head on yours with his arm around your shoulders. His kids try and bribe you to record your yawns so they can get him to have a regular sleep schedule.
Catwoman -[ROMANTIC]
She is the one grabbing you and putting you in her lap. Most likely you were walking past her and she just grabbed your waist before pulling you into her body. No matter how much you squirm you can’t evade her hold. She all but purrs as you give in and bask in her attention. She pinches and pokes you occasionally, just to hear your reactions. When you eventually get bored enough to sleep, she just watches you breathe. Like Arthur, she’s lowkey obsessed. Again, not yandere. But more kind of her checking you’re alive. Though her counting your breathes is a bit overkill. She doesn’t stop you from being woken up because it’s not like she’s going to let you go any time soon. Plus it gives her a chance to tease you over drooling or sleep talking. Would absolutely hold it above your head if you mumble her name whilst asleep.
Constantine -[ROMANTIC/PLATONIC]
I can kind of see this being either way, just because you would be the type of little freak that I can see Constantine being attracted to only to have his inner monologue go ‘WHY?!’. He’s just kind of confused but decides to just go along with it, he’s seen worse. He’s another member of the Chronic Insomniac Club. It’s always just another case or just another spell, wearing himself thin until he just collapses on his sofa and sleeps for like 4 days straight. Having a snuggle buddy that has physically attached themself to his body helps. It weighs him down, he can’t move off the sofa unless he wants to wake up the little clown (not Joker-adjacent) he’s basically taken in. I feel as though you wouldn’t necessarily fall asleep in his lap, but probably crashed at his place. After a long day of being a nuisance you crash at Constantine’s home, because in your words ‘it smells nice’, and fall asleep on his sofa. And not long after you turn up, an equally exhausted if not more so sorcerer gets home and collapses on top of you, asleep before he even landed. You probably don’t care, using his trench coat as a blanket and in the morning he’s probably more confused than annoyed. Anyone attempting to wake you up would be met with a very grouchy British man ready to send them to Hell for disturbing his sleep. Oh, and you’re here too.
Deathstroke -[PLATONIC]
This man hates you. Loathes you, in a mostly comical way. Any time he works with you, he is audibly complaining and groaning because he thinks you don’t take things seriously enough. You know he hates you, so you do everything in your power to annoy the shit out of him. I imagine you hug him, arms like rubber as they snake around him multiple times, every time you see him and really up the exaggeration in your emotions and reactions. It’s definitely a love-hate relationship but deep down, Deathstroke does car. Another one who wouldn’t directly cuddle. Though I imagine if you ever got super hurt to the point you needed to be hospitalised, he would fight tooth and nail to sit by your side. He would hold your hand until you woke up, not letting go even to sleep himself. He would kick out anyone too loud, including nurses and medical staff. He would vehemently deny it but can’t help himself as the worry bleeds through. Don’t go dying on him yet, he needs his daily dosage of annoyance.
Flash -[ROMANTIC]
Barry absolutely adores you. Like this man enjoys jokes and pranks so having you around is more of a blessing than a nuisance. He’s probably one of the few people that you won’t be sleeping around. Both of you are too excitable and hyperactive to really slow down and feel your exhaustion. He’s usually the first one turning up to any of your crime moments, most of the time cheering you on or just watching the chaos unfurl. If the two of you did end up sleeping together (NOT LIKE THAT), then you would be a nightmare to live near (this sounds so bad, I swear it isn’t). Both of you would snore really loud, like so loud that it can be heard through walls. And neither of you would be able to stay still as you sleep. Barry is a chronic kicker in my opinion and you would probably roll around a lot. Somehow, you both consistently wake up without the blanket, you star-fishing on an angle and Barry half off the bed. No one would be able to walk you up through the cacophony of your shared sounds.
Green Arrow -[ROMANTIC/PLATONIC]
This could either way because he would be super protective and vigilant no matter the type of relationship you have with him. If you’re romantically entangled then he would stop you from cuddling with him anywhere other than your home because when you do cuddle, he lays on top of you. This isn’t just to feel close to you but also to protect you from any intruders. If anyone wanted to get to you, they’d have to get through him first. Try to ignore the knife under your pillow, he needs it within grabbing distance just in case. If you were platonically intertwined, then I can see him indulging in hugs and cuddles so long as it doesn’t restrict his limbs. So if you wanna nap on him, go for it. He wouldn’t sleep with you, though he desperately needs it, but he would stroke your back and ensure that no loud sounds would disturb you. Oliver won’t deter anyone from coming in the room but should they start shouting or making loud noises unnecessarily, he will send them a sharp look to tone it down.
Green Lantern -[ROMANTIC/PLATONIC]
I definitely think that this man is desperate for someone to adore him. He wants to be your hero, a guiding light. He needs this, man. If romantic, then I see him super eager for nap time except he won’t shut up about how great he is. You want to sleep, he wants to yap. Two lovers doomed to fall apart. However, all it takes is a threat to go to someone else for your much needed beauty rest to get him to buck up and settle into the quiet with you. If platonic, similarly to romantic, he needs to be wanted. He wants to be that cool, older brother figure to you. I imagine you would prefer this version since he would just lift you up into a piggy back ride where the gentle jostling will lull you to sleep. Occasionally he may use his Ring to make you a blanket or a stuffed toy for extra comfort. Hal is so paranoid that someone is going to wake you up though that he becomes the person who wakes you up, leaving you to fulfil your threat and find comfort elsewhere. He is heartbroken and falls to his knees in shame.
Harley Quinn -[PLATONIC]
Do not fall asleep on or near Harley if you don’t want the life to be squished out of you. She has a case of cuteness aggression and it’s bad. You fell asleep by yourself, and woke up to be fully engulfed by Harley and her two pet hyenas, with her using you as her personal teddy bear. It’s warm, cosy and honestly addictive. Anytime you do wake up, it’s pretty easy for you to fall back asleep. Harley snores a little, and she’s quite active when she’s asleep, but if she’s rolling she’s taking you with her. Anyone who dares interrupt the smallest bit of serotonin that she holds close to her gets to meet her beloved hyenas up and close. A few poor delivery men and cold callers have been chased through the streets of Gotham multiple times. Some have tried bribing them but they’re too loyal to the cuddle pile.
Joker -[PLATONIC]
This man is not your friend. I put platonic because I don’t see him pursuing you romantically because all he’s interested in is seeing how far he can push you before you break. One of his favourite ways to do so is through sleep deprivation. Anytime you are paired together for a mission, you get no sleep. From playing trombone music, to insisting the lights stay to even shocking you with a cattle spike to keep you awake, he’s trying anything and everything. Because of this, you’ve been turning down a lot of opportunities to do crime with him so he’s been following you from place to place. Probably the number one reason why you crash at Constantine’s, you don’t want to go home to a psycho maniac clown who has a penchant for an Eminem-Metallica blend. However, I will say that in the very rare moments the Joker lets you sleep (probably like a hour or two before the mission plan starts), he will absolutely beat the person who woke you up. He beats them to a pulp with a crowbar and then hands you the crowbar as a gift. Only he can disturb you. Only he can torment you.
Lex Luther -[ROMANTIC]
Lex hates it, especially when it happens in public. He pretends he doesn’t know you and calls security to ‘take care of you’- .i.e. lock you up in your shared quarters. He questions why he’s with you every day. Similar to Constantine, he’s just in a constant state to ‘WHY THEM?!?!’. It’s almost like a blow to his ego and intelligence. The only good part is that he can show off to Superman and watch as the Kryptonian struggles with his jealously. That’s the only time he would publicly indulge your clingy habits. In private though? There are some rarer moments where he lets himself be encompassed by you. You practically bear hug each time, and each time he breathes in like he was hurt before forcing his body to relax, muscle by muscle. It’s not easy, his walls are as tall as the Great Wall of China is long. If anyone interrupts him, he’s quick to toss you off of him before addressing them, remembering their face and name so he can have them ‘dealt with’. No one should see him in his most vulnerable moments… But can you come continue cuddling him? He’s getting cold.
Martian Manhunter -[PLATONIC]
I think he’s very intrigued and amused by you. Kind of like a human to a cute puppy or frog, if that fits you more. Like he’ll indulge you here and there but is very neutral most of the time. However, he is kind of a secret sower of chaos. He would absolutely pass you candy so that you become so hyperactive, that the others are a bit scrambled. If he has the time, he will sit by you as you sleep and listen in to your dreams. With your consent, of course. It’s the best way he can learn about you since your powers prevent him from using most of his on you. A pair of oddities you are. Should anyone attempt to wake you, he just calmly says something like ‘That is not the best course of action. Please reconsider’. If they don’t, then he just picks you up and moves into the next room. Also another person to accidentally wake you up whilst chasing others away, but unlike a certain lamp guy, he learns and doesn’t do it again.
Mister Freeze -[PLATONIC]
Why are you sleeping on him? He is quite literally deathly cold. You say it’s perfect for a nest of blankets. He calls you weird. You call him old. That silences Victor and he grumbles but lets you do as you please. You know that type of dad that doesn’t express their affection through words, but rather actions? Yeah, thats Victor. The next time you come to seek refuge from a child drawing of a clown come to life, there’s extra fluffy and better quality bedding and pillows. Oh, and they so happen to be in your favourite colour. If you ask him, he’ll tell you some story about having them back in his old home and he was going to get rid of them, but if you like them so much, you can keep them. You ignore the tag still on the sheets. When he thinks you’re asleep, he brushes your hair out of your face. Sometimes as you fuss in your sleep, he hums or sings a soft lullaby. If anyone attempts to disturb you in his laboratory, they wouldn’t even make it to the inner door before one of his inventions dealt with them.
Nightwing -[PLATONIC/ROMANTIC]
Similar to Green Lantern, this man is begging you to sit in his lap for cuddles and naps. Dick is super touch starved and lacks like really good intimacy skills, both platonic or romantic. As soon as you sit in his lap and fall asleep, his whole body locks up. He freezes and has to remind himself that he needs to breathe. Dick probably shed a tear and feels blessed/chosen. He barely touches you but once he becomes comfortable enough, he’ll trace small circles on your back. Definitely one of the few who would accidentally wake you up and he feels so betrayed by his own body. If someone tries to wake you or makes noise, he instinctively grips you tighter and shoots them a glare. It’s his cuddle time, not anyone else’s! I see him as the type of person to try and plan the nap sessions though, because he can’t really deal with spontaneity quite well and after the first few random times, would want a designated time for it. He would also try and force you to wear matching pyjamas.
Penguin -[PLATONIC]
This man is so comfy to sleep on. The only issue is, he doesn’t like to sit still for long and loses his temper quickly which means he is very loud most of the time. However, should you attempt it he won’t dissuade you. He would prefer you do it whilst he’s attending paperwork with minimal distractions. Oswald just kind of sees you like a nuisance he has on a leash, almost like a pet but without the dehumanisation. If any of his goons try to interrupt or say something to him, he puts a pair of noise cancelling headphones on you or covers your ears before shouting. He wouldn’t sleep with you, valuing his time much more and would probably feel too vulnerable to do so. He would provide you with sleeping attire and would insist that you get changed before snuggling because he wouldn’t want any dirt or Gotham grime on his freshly pressed suit. You wouldn’t really visit him that often because he’s way too close to the Joker, both geographically and sometimes on missions.
Poison Ivy -[PLATONIC]
Let’s be real, Pamela probably drugged you. You are way too hyperactive for her sometimes so in order to keep you calm around her plants and not excite Harley too much, she drugs you. Nothing serious but just enough to make you sleeping. It’s probably just an intense chamomile and lavender extract. She sometimes cuddles you but it’s not really her style. She adores you but she also values her personal space sometimes. If you do it during a mission, she’ll humour you but not for long because she wants to get back to her greenhouse and lover (Harley) as soon as possible. She would definitely be the type to brag about it, subtly though. And her main victims? Batman and Nightwing. Anytime she crosses paths with them, she drops a couple of lines about you not being afraid of her and how willing you are to return to the home she shares with Harley. They don’t need to know that she drugs you for it most of the time.
Ra’s al Ghul -[ROMANTIC]
This man is babying you. If you’re napping, or even climb into his lap, he’s cancelling what he has planned for the day. He’s lived far longer than his enemies and he’ll live long after they died, so he can spare a few hours to dote and cuddle you. He definitely makes you get changed into the most luxurious sleep ware, silk with encrusted diamond and ruby enamelling as well as gold thread details. It’s probably worth the same as a small European country. If he’s feeling cocking, Ra’s will have you in his lap during meetings and overseeing training. Damien has more than once questioned why you’re there but has soon gotten used to it. Ra's wouldn't sleep with you, but he would be more than happy to just watch you doze and ensure you stay wrapped up.
Red Hood -[ROMANTIC]
The second you lay in his lap, my man is freezing up and having an inner panic attack. He's so touch starved yet touch avoident that he sort of glitches and says nothing, staying absolutely still. Its a bit difficult for you to hug him but you try to make it work. Jason feels as though he destroys everything he touches so it'll take a while for him to relax and settle. It becomes a drug to him, he needs your presence to sleep. When his goons point out you're a nuisance, he just sighs and looks dreamily at you like 'my nuisance'. He doesn't care if his goons see you cuddling, its just something they have to get used to but as soon as a family member or another rogue swings by, he's all dark and brooding. Times like these he unceremoniously drops you from his arms before acting all militant. But don't worry, he'll make it up to you with cuddles later.
Riddler -[ROMANTIC/PLATONIC]
At first Edward is fully against it. He pushes you off of him and berates you for doing something so childish and unseemly, brushing invisible dirt of his custom tailored suit. It’s fine, you get your revenge by not giving him an ounce of your attention. First, you refuse to partner up with him for missions, then you decline his calls, you ignore him when he speaks to. You do all of this before he basically begs (though he won’t ever admit to it) for your forgiveness and pulls you into his arms. Edward thought he was above it all and now he won’t make that mistake a second time. His goons aren’t allowed in the room when you cuddle though, so they have to communicate through very awkward rushed scribbles on paper that are then stuffed under the door or window. Many a times they have conducted raids like this, and it wasn’t until Batman invaded their base that someone suggested text messages or some other easy when to communicate. Riddler will actually pout if you wake up or move away before he’s had his daily dose of you and will immediately kill anyone who wakes you up.
Scarecrow -[PLATONIC]
He loathes physical touch and how silly you are in what is supposed to be a serious endeavour. Jonathan would absolutely use his Fear gas on you, just to see what happens. What he didn’t expect was for you to become extra clingy as you saw things you couldn’t explain and used him to ground yourself. He hated it, you wouldn’t let go of his arms as you sobbed. You wouldn’t let go, couldn’t. Your grip was ironclad and left dark purple bruises on his skin. At some point during your awful psychedelic trip, Jonathan Crane got used to you. It wasn’t a huge switch. It was gradual and slow, building to a neutrality. He didn’t hate you touching him, but he didn’t love it either. However, by the time he got used to your presence, you were flat out cold. The gas had scared you so much you spiralled yourself into exhaustion and fell asleep. On him. He would feel bad but you’ve basically anchored him down to one spot and now he can’t do his work.
Superman -[ROMANTIC]
First I got to say, choosing Clark Kent for cuddles and naps is the best choice here. That man is southern hospitality and sunshine all wrapped up in a beefcake who loves puppies and flowers. He is so down for cuddles, like almost desperately so. He gets so giddy and giggling when you begin to climb into his lap. Let me just say that you won’t need any blankets or pillows, this man is warm enough. If someone tries to wake you up or if he wants to annoy the other members of the Justice League, he will just make sure you’re all secure (probably as a bear hug) and then just fly in the air. He’ll use his laser eyes to cut around walls to make sure its quiet enough for you before floating high above whatever city he was in. This definitely pisses off Bruce and the Flash. He would wake you up with sweet innocent kisses across your face until you stirred and then gently fly you to Paris or Smallville for a nice ‘breakfast’. He would never wake you up accidentally because he has your heartbeat on his radar at all times.
Talia al Ghul -[ROMANTIC]
Much like her father, Talia absolutely spoils you. Matching sleeping attire? Check! 5 star facial treatments for the both of you? Check! Silk sheets in an European palace? Check! As for who falls asleep on who? It could go either way as Talia adores cuddling you, it gives her the perfect opportunity to pinch and poke you and have you whenever she pleases. She’d probably drug you a little bit, just to keep you nice and complacent. She coils around you like a snake and she’s so soft that you don’t even feel the set of daggers she’s strapped to her body in case of intruders. It’s somewhat similar when she’s the little spoon as she’s always armed and loves to just lounge on you. Talia would wake you up with sex or slow kisses across your face and upper body. She’s the boldest with her claim and would shoot someone dead for attempting to take you away from her, before cooing over your sleepy mumbles.
Two-Face -[ROMANTIC]
Harvey is a man who thrives on the chaos you bring. But rather than scold you for sleeping on the job, he would probably see it as you recuperating your energy. He would feel blessed that you, basically his God at this point, would choose to sleep on him. The very level of vulnerability you have shown him is all but a marriage proposal. He would guard you with his life and would kill anything or anyone in the perimeter, regardless if they made noise or not. To him, he can’t take any chances. He also wouldn’t sleep with you, too paranoid and alert to relax. It may even be that he puts you in a secure safe room which has been done up to be your bedroom. It has over 60 different types of locks and most of them have answers that only Harvey knows. He would stroke your face whilst you slept and whisper some sort of ranted prayer. The only way he would wake you was if the compound was under attack and he needed to move you. Any other time, he is actively trying to soothe you so you return to your slumber.
Wonder Woman -[ROMANTIC/PLATONIC]
For Diana, it could go either way as she’s going to hold you in one arm or on her hip like a baby because to her, you’re her baby. If your relationship is platonic, then she’ll indulge in your clinginess and use it to brag to Bruce. (Both her and Clark like to watch him struggle a bit). She’s another one that wouldn’t nap with you, but would stay awake just to ensure you’re safe and sound. Plus, I imagine as a demigod she doesn’t really need that much sleep. If your relationship is romantic, then she may be clingy too. If you nap together in the safe space of your shared home, then you aren’t going anywhere. Her arms are like iron bars once they find purchase around your waist. She also doesn’t really care for matching pyjamas but she does adore you when you wear her sweats. No matter your size, she has a version of hers in it. She doesn’t wake you up either. But Diana definitely wakes up before you and just stares at your face until you wake up. She likes to memorise these moments because she doesn’t know when they may end. If someone wakes you up on accident, she gently chides them before doting on you as you are extra cute to her when you’re sleepy.
Hope you enjoyed! This came out as more of sleeping headcannons but either way I hope it was a good read.
Jonathan Crane x neglected batmama!Reader
Warning: cheating(both sides, but for Reader it's emotional), emotional manipulation
The chandelier lights of the Gotham Museum gala glittered like distant stars, casting a warm glow over the sea of tuxedos and evening gowns. You smoothed the silk of your crimson dress—Versace, a nod to the life you'd left behind—and took a sip of champagne, your arm linked with Jonathan's. It had been months since the divorce, since you'd shed the Wayne name like a too-tight skin, but tonight marked your first public appearance since then. The Falcone case had shaken the city to its core, with Carmine Falcone's empire crumbling under the weight of scandals and arrests. Bruce had been at the center of it all, of course, his Batman persona pulling strings from the shadows. But you? You'd finally escaped those shadows.
You hadn't always been this way—poised, untethered, alive. Once, you'd been the darling of the Victoria's Secret runway, strutting in angel wings and lace that made headlines worldwide. Your face had graced billboards from New York to Paris, your body a canvas of confidence and allure. But then came Bruce Wayne. Charming, brooding, with promises of a family that needed you. You quit modeling the day he proposed, trading catwalks for Wayne Manor, determined to be the perfect wife and stepmother. You cooked meals, attended school events, patched up scraped knees from "training accidents" you weren't supposed to question. You poured your soul into Dick, Jason, Tim, Damian—even the girls, Barbara and Cassandra, when they deigned to acknowledge you.
They never did, not really. To them, you were the outsider, the trophy wife who didn't understand their world of capes and cowls. Dick's polite smiles hid resentment; Jason's sarcasm cut like knives; Tim barely looked up from his screens; Damian called you "the interloper" to your face. Barbara and Cass? They tolerated you at best, whispering about how you were just another of Bruce's fleeting distractions. And Bruce... oh, Bruce. The cheating started subtly—a late-night "meeting" here, a lipstick stain on a collar there. Selina Kyle, Talia al Ghul, even that reporter Vicki Vale. You confronted him once, tears streaming, but he brushed it off with that infuriating Wayne charm. "It's complicated," he'd say, vanishing into the night as Batman, leaving you alone in that echoing mansion.
That's when you sought help. Therapy seemed like the only lifeline in a sea of neglect. Dr. Jonathan Crane was recommended by a discreet acquaintance—brilliant, they said, with a specialty in fear and trauma. Your first session in his Arkham office was clinical, his blue eyes sharp behind wire-rimmed glasses, his voice a soothing baritone that dissected your pain without judgment. "Tell me about the fear," he'd prompt, leaning forward, his presence a quiet intensity that made you feel seen for the first time in years.
Sessions blurred into something more. Jonathan listened as you unraveled—about the isolation, the betrayal, the way Bruce's absences left you hollow. He shared glimpses of his own world: a childhood marred by bullying, his fascination with fear as a tool for control. There was a darkness in him, a edge that thrilled you, so different from Bruce's stoic heroism. One evening, after a particularly raw confession, his hand brushed yours. "You deserve more than to be a shadow in someone else's story," he murmured. The air crackled. You kissed him that night, in the dim light of his office, his lips tasting of forbidden promise.
The divorce was swift, brutal. Bruce didn't fight it—guilt, perhaps, or relief. The Batfamily's reactions ranged from indifference to outright scorn; Jason even smirked, "Good riddance." You didn't care. You packed your things and went straight to Jonathan's arms. He wasn't the hero type; he was the villain in waiting, experimenting with toxins in hidden labs, whispering about a world where fear ruled. But with you, he was tender, possessive, his touches igniting fires Bruce never could. Nights in his modest apartment turned passionate—his fingers tracing your skin like he was mapping every vulnerability, his voice low as he confessed his Scarecrow alter ego. You didn't flinch; you embraced it, finding power in the chaos.
Now, at the gala, you spotted them across the room. Bruce, in his impeccable tux, chatting with Commissioner Gordon. The kids flanked him: Dick with his easy grin, Jason brooding in a corner, Tim nursing a drink, Damian scowling at the crowd. Barbara wheeled through with poise, Cass silent and watchful. They hadn't noticed you yet.
Jonathan's hand tightened on your waist, his breath warm against your ear. "Nervous, my dear?"
You shook your head, a sly smile playing on your lips. "Not anymore."
Bruce's eyes locked on yours first. Surprise flickered, then something darker—regret? Jealousy? He excused himself from Gordon and approached, the Batfamily trailing like reluctant shadows.
"Y/N," Bruce said, his voice that familiar gravel. "You look... well."
"Divorce agrees with me," you replied coolly, tilting your chin. Jonathan's arm was a steady anchor, his gaze dissecting Bruce with clinical interest.
Bruce's eyes shifted to Jonathan. "Dr. Crane. I didn't realize you two were... acquainted."
"More than acquainted," Jonathan drawled, his tone laced with amusement. "Y/N has been under my care for some time. And now, she's simply under me."
A flush crept up Bruce's neck, but he masked it quickly. Dick cleared his throat awkwardly. "Uh, good to see you, Y/N. Been a while."
"Has it?" you mused. "I suppose raising you all single-handedly while your father was out playing hero does blur the lines."
Jason snorted, but there was no malice in it this time—curiosity, maybe. Tim averted his eyes, Damian muttered something under his breath. Barbara offered a tight smile. "The Falcone mess has kept us busy."
"I'm sure," you said, your voice dripping honeyed venom. "But I've moved on to better things. Jonathan understands neglect in ways you never could."
Bruce's jaw tightened. "If this is about—"
"It's not," you cut him off. "It's about me. Finally."
Jonathan leaned in, pressing a kiss to your temple. "Shall we dance, darling? Leave the bats to their brooding."
You nodded, letting him lead you to the floor. As the music swelled, you glanced back once—Bruce watching, the family shifting uncomfortably. For the first time, you didn't feel like the neglected wife, the failed mother. You were the woman who'd risen from the ashes, wings intact, with a man who saw your fears and turned them into strength.
And as Jonathan's hand slid lower on your back, promising darker delights later, you knew you'd never look back.