jonathan crane getting interrupted from work by you | 18+
tw: not proof read, a little bit of implied sex (mdni), otherwise just fluff.
pairings: jonathan crane x lamb!reader
author's note: this was requested!
The quiet of the apartment always felt a little overwhelming whenever Jonathan brought his work home. Which happened almost all the time. Your boyfriend was a hardcore workaholic so that usually ended up with you spending nights alone while he worked away in his study. By the time he'd end up coming to bed, you'd either be asleep or he'd be too tired to talk.
You sat on the bed, burying your face into the collar of one of his oversized, pressed white dress shirts. Well it wasn't exactly mean to be oversized but it was on you. The shirt completely swallowed your frame, pooling around your bare thighs. It smelled so heavily of him, that sharp, clean cologne mixed with the sterile scent of the asylum, and it was the only comfort you had against the heavy Gotham rain beating against the window. You pulled the long sleeves down past your fingertips, feeling a heavy ache of loneliness in your chest. You just wanted to be near him.
Slipping off the mattress, your bare feet made didn't make a sound against the hardwood floors as you wandered down the narrow hallway of your shared apartment toward his study.
You opened the door a crack and peeked inside. Jonathan was sitting behind his desk, medical journals and patient files piled on the surface of it. He sat upright at his desk, his attention focused on his laptop, fingers flying over the keyboard. Despite being at home he was still in his clothes from work: dark trousers, white crisp dress shirt under his dark blazer, his tie still knotted tightly.
You pushed the door open just an inch further, hovering timidly against the frame. You didn't want to disrupt him, but you couldn't bear the distance anymore. Jonathan didn't look up, his eyes tracking lines of text on the screen with cold and unblinking focus. "I have two more evaluations to type up tonight." He murmured. His fingers didn't miss a beat on the keys, his tone completely level and detached. "Unless the building is on fire, I need you to let me finish."
An anxious flutter stirred in your stomach, but instead of retreating back to the bedroom, you took a hesitant step into the room. The quiet rustle of his oversized shirt against your skin finally made his hands pause over the keyboard. Jonathan slowly raised his head. Behind his glasses, those icy blue eyes locked onto yours.
His gaze instantly flicked down, taking in the sight of his own crisp white shirt drowning your frame, before snapping back up to your face. He leaned back in his leather chair as you walked right up to the armrest, looking at him with trusting eyes.
"Well?" he asked softly. A faint smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth, but his blue eyes darkened with a sudden, intense possessiveness. Your sweet and gentle nature always did something to him. It was such a vast difference to his cold and clinical demeanor. "Are you going to state your business, darling, or did you just come in here to test my patience?"
You didn’t answer right away. Your fingers nervously curled into the oversized cuffs of his shirt, the fabric bunching up in your fists as your heart did a small frantic flutter against your ribs. Under the weight of his unblinking stare, you felt small, but you didn't look away. "I was lonely," you whispered, the truth slipping out in a quiet, timid breath. You took one more hesitant step forward, your bare knee lightly brushing against the armrest of his leather chair. "You’ve been working for hours, Jonathan."
Jonathan’s gaze softened by a fraction, a microscopic shift that only you could ever catch. His analytical mind always struggled to process how someone so gentle could completely disarm him without even trying. He looked down at your hands, tracking the way you nervously played with his sleeves, before his eyes traveled up the loose collar of the shirt exposing the soft skin of your collarbone.
"Is that so?" He murmured, his voice incredibly low. Slowly he reached out, his slender fingers capturing your wrist, his grip firm but careful. He didn't pull you away, instead his thumb began to stroke your wrist, feeling the rapid pounding of your pulse. He loved how easily he could make your heart race, even when he was being gentle. Even when he wasn't trying to frighten you.
"You are a distraction to me, sweet girl," he whispered, a dark smirk playing on his lips as he gently tugged your forward, guiding you closer until you were standing between his legs. "Here I am, attempting to finish these asylum profiles, and you walk in here looking like this, demanding my undivided attention."
You felt your cheeks heat but before you could pull away, his hands slid up to your hips as he tugged you into his lap. You let out a soft gasp as he reached behind you to close his laptop, his other arm wrapped possessively around your waist. He leaned back in his chair, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Well you have my attention now."
You settled against him, wrapping your arms around his neck. Jonathan’s arm remained locked around your waist, holding you firmly against his chest. He looked up at you, his gaze tracking the soft flush that had crept up your neck and bloomed across your cheeks. A deeply satisfied look settled over his features. He thrived on having this kind of power over you, knowing he could make you flush or squirm by simply touching you. He slid his hand up to your jaw, his thumb pressing gently into the soft skin beneath your chin, tilting your face down so you had no choice but to look directly into his piercing blue eyes.
"Tell me," he murmured, his eyes flicking down to your lips before snapping back to yours. "Did you wear this specifically to tempt me away from my duties, or did you truly think I would just let you stand there and watch me work while wearing my clothes?"
"I just wanted to be close to you," you admitted softly, your voice barely louder than the patter of the rain outside.
His hand slid from your jaw down to the tightly knotted tie at his own throat. With a few fluid movements, he loosened the silk, pulling it over his head and tossing it carelessly onto the desk alongside his closed laptop. He unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt as his gaze darkened with a sudden heavy heat.
"Then I suppose I'll have to make up for lost time." Jonathan whispered against your lips, his grip on your waist tightening just a fraction as he leaned up to close the distance between you.
❀ end note: ugh i love jonathan so much 😭🙏
❀ if you liked this fic then i would really appreciate it if you liked, or commented, or reblog it! thanks for reading! ❀
Warnings: Language, Mention of drugs, Mention of sex, Alcohol, Mention of abuse
Summary: Reader and Dr. Crane get to know each other a little better.
Author’s Note: Working more on trying to advance the story! Also testing out how morally ambiguous the character himself can be. Any feedback is always appreciated 🥰 -Kelsie
Word Count: 2,453
“We can go back to my apartment,” You said as you settled into the seat next to Jonathan on the bus, “Chris has a shift until midnight,”
He nodded silently.
“I’m sorry about last time,” You said, blushing, “I didn’t want you meeting Rex, and Chris usually isn’t that drunk,”
“It’s alright,” He said, offering a reassuring smile. His posture tensed up after you mentioned going back to your empty apartment though, and you hoped he didn’t think you were trying to sleep with him.
“How can you guys afford living in such a large apartment?” He asked after a moment of silence, “If you don’t mind me asking- unless Chirs makes an obscene amount of money from waitressing at the diner?”
“I pay most of the rent and bills,” You explained, “My dad makes a lot of money back in Oregon, he sends me a certain amount monthly for bills and stuff. He pays for my schooling too,”
Jonathan nodded silently again, waiting for you to continue. The bus creaked loudly as it stopped and several people passed your guys’ seats to get out.
“It’s because he feels bad,” You said, quieter now as the bus started moving again, “He left my mom when I was young then made no effort to raise me. Now he just sends me money to fill whatever guilt he has from it,”
Jonathan watched you closely as you awkwardly played with the hem of your shirt.
“As long as I’m in school he’ll keep sending the money,” You mumbled, “I don’t even want my degree anymore,”
“What are you getting it in?”
“Technically it’s business,” You said, laughing slightly, “But I have no interest in that. I honestly have no idea what I’m doing anymore,”
“Most Juniors feel like that,”
“I’m a Sophomore,”
He freezed completely beside you.
“So, you’re what… 20?” He asked cautiously.
“I feel like there’s worse age gaps,” You said, defensively furrowing your eyebrows.
“I just didn’t realize you were so young,”
“It’s three years Jonathan,” You laughed, “Get off your high horse,”
The bus pulled up at your stop and you quickly led him off and down the block towards your apartment building. A chill autumn breeze swept past and you tightened your jacket around your frame awkwardly.
“I can’t believe we didn’t even know each other's ages,” You said, mindlessly kicking a rock as the two of you walked down the cracked sidewalk, “We really don’t know much about each other,”
“I can’t believe I assumed you were a Junior,” Jonathan mumbled, deep in thought, “You’re very mature for your age,”
“Again,” You stopped suddenly in front of him causing him to awkwardly halt so as to not bump into you, “It’s a three year age gap, you’re not significantly older than me,”
“Alright alright,” He smiled, following you as you started walking again.
“So you don’t like your father much,” He said, earning a nod from you, “Are you close with your mother?”
“Kind of,” You shrugged as the two of you approach your building, “I mean she raised me but I don’t really keep in touch with her,”
“Did she ever remarry after your father?”
“Oh yea,” You laughed as you typed in the code to get into the building, “Several times, none of them worked out though,”
“Really?”
“Marriage never really works out in my family,” You said softly, leading him to the elevator.
“I’m sorry,”
“It’s alright,” You smile, trying to lighten the mood, “I’ve given up on the idea of it,”
You looked away, missing a confused look from him.
Once the two of you reached your apartment, you went straight for the fridge and pulled out a bottle of Chris’ wine.
“I do believe it’s your turn to tell me about your family,” You said, pouring the both of you a glass, “Are you close with your parents?”
“I never knew them,” He said, taking the glass you handed him, “My mother had me out of wedlock and it upset my grandmother so much that she took me to raise by herself,”
You stared at him awkwardly for a moment before setting the wine bottle down softly.
“You never even met them?” You asked before taking a quick sip from your glass.
He shook his head and looked away from you, his eyes dancing over the contents of your kitchen mindlessly.
“Were you close with your grandmother then?”
“No,” He said sternly, his posture stiffening again, “The deep rooted anger she had for my mother she took out on me,”
You stood frozen for a moment before awkwardly placing your wine glass down on the granite countertop.
“She hit you?”
He looked back over at you now, still tense, “She did more than that,” He said quietly, “It’s not something that I need to get into,”
“Right,” You said quickly, “Sorry, I wasn’t trying to pry,”
“It’s okay,” He said, looking away again, “I left the second I graduated high school. I came here to go to GSU. I had a full ride so I didn’t need her help,”
“Damn,” You said, watching him closely as his eyes glanced over the pictures of you, Chris, and Rex that were taped to your fridge, “Did you like high school then? It sounds like you were really successful during it,”
“The academic work was easy,” He said before taking a sip of his wine, “But I was heavily bullied,”
You awkwardly nodded, taking a mental note to stop asking questions.
“They made fun of me for my body frame,” He said uncomfortably, still avoiding eye contact, “I was too tall and skinny,”
“I like your body,”
He looked over at you now, his whole body stiffening uncomfortably. He looked nervous.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” You said quickly, “I just think that…”
You trailed off quietly, not wanting to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was. He kept the eye contact with you intensely, his eyebrows furrowing with confusion.
“I find you very physically attractive,” You said awkwardly, a deep blush setting into your cheeks, “Is that so surprising?”
“Yes,” He said, his expression staying stagnant.
“Well..” You awkwardly looked away, his gaze increasingly making you more and more insecure, “We’re dating… and I wouldn’t date someone that I didn’t find physically attractive,”
When he didn’t respond you looked back over at him. He was staring down into his glass of wine deep in thought.
“I’m sorry,”
“Why are you apologizing?” He asked, looking up at you now.
“I just feel like I made you uncomfortable,”
He didn’t respond again, and instead awkwardly set his wine glass down on the counter next to yours.
“Have you ever been with someone before?” You asked, watching him closely.
He looked up at you with a different look this time. It wasn't uncomfortable or tense, it was insecure, frightened even.
“No,” He said after a moment of silence. He looked away from your gaze again.
The both of you shared a moment of silence, the only noise coming from the muffled Gotham traffic outside and some loud footsteps from your neighbors above.
“Are you interested in dating me at all?” You asked quietly, a growing insecurity forming inside you.
He looked over at you awkwardly, his hands fumbling to rest inside his pockets.
“I am,” He said, a blush forming, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing,”
“It’s okay,”
Before anything else could be said, the front door of your apartment was flung open. Jonathan's tense frame beside you jumped quickly.
“Whaddup bitches,”
Rex rounded the corner from the front door to lean casually in the opening to the kitchen, trapping you and Jonathan inside.
“What are you doing here, Rex,” You said angrily. Jonathan reached for his wine glass beside you and quickly downed the rest of it in one swig.
“I’m crashing here tonight,” He explained, watching Jonathan with an impressed expression, “Our apartment flooded,”
You closed your eyes for a moment to focus on your breathing so you wouldn’t explode in front of Jonathan.
“I won’t bother you guys, don’t worry,” Rex said, putting his hands up defensively, “You won’t even know I’m here,”
You and Jonathan watched as he spun around and flung himself onto the couch, quickly turning on the TV. The Simpsons theme played loudly from it and he made no effort in turning it down.
The growing frustration inside you started to boil over and you leaned on the counter beside you for a moment to try and control it.
“I can leave, if you want,” Jonathan whispered beside you.
“No,” You said quickly. You grabbed his upper arm and led him out of the kitchen and past Rex on the couch into your bedroom. You slammed the door loudly behind you, frustrated at the fact that you could hear the TV playing outside still.
“God I hate him so much,” You said, angrily pacing in front of Jonathan, who was distracted with the contents of your bedroom, “He literally doesn’t care about how any of his actions affects others,”
Jonathan wandered over to your bookshelf silently, his eyes quickly glancing over each title on every book spine. You stopped pacing, watching him cautiously.
“Don’t judge me too hard,”
He turns to look at you with a playful grin on his face.
“You have a lot of romance for someone who’s given up on the idea,” He said, looking back over at your books.
“I gave up on the idea of marriage,” You clarified, walking over toward him, “Not love in general,”
He looked down at you now as you were right next to him. Some silence passed as you both stared at each other for a moment. You took this as your chance and quickly yet awkwardly pulled him down towards you by his tie, kissing him softly. His frame was tense, and he didn’t exactly kiss you back, but he didn’t pull away until you did.
He stared at you shocked for a moment before straightening his posture up again.
“Was that okay?” You asked, watching him closely.
He seemed at a loss for words, still staring at you. He nodded slowly, trying to regain his composure.
“You’ve never kissed anyone before, have you?” You asked, noting how red his face had turned.
“Is it obvious?” He asked, embarrassed.
“No,” You laughed, your hand still on his tie, “I was just wondering,”
You played with the silk tie in your hand for a moment, examining the deep blue shade before letting go of it and stepping away.
“I didn’t mean to overstep any boundaries,” You said quietly.
“You didn’t,” He said, still watching you tensely.
Rex laughing loudly from the living room filled the silence in your room and you rolled your eyes, irritated. Jonathan loosened up now, smiling at you softly as he fondly watched you storm over to your bedroom door, throwing it open.
“Dude,”
Rex looked over at you from his relaxed position on the couch, his arm elbow deep in a bag of chips.
“What’s up?” He asked before shoving his face with a handful.
“You have to leave,” You said, angrily crossing your arms over your chest, “Crash somewhere else, seriously,”
“Christina said I could stay here,” He said defensively, sitting up suddenly from his relaxed position.
Jonathan had walked over to the door to stand beside you now, sending you a confused glance before looking out towards Rex.
“I don’t care what Chris said,”
“Think about it this way,” Rex started, setting the chips down on the coffee table in front of him before wiping his hands off sloppily on his shirt, “I’m three times your size and you couldn’t get me out of here even if you wanted to,”
You didn’t respond, and felt Jonathan tense up beside you.
“Is he threatening you?” He asked quietly, watching you closely.
“Unless either of you wanna try?” Rex continued from the couch, throwing his hands out.
You stepped back into your room and pulled Jonathan out of the way before closing your door again in defeat.
“He can’t threaten you like that,” Jonathan said, watching as you rubbed your head tiredly, “It’s your apartment, you can call the police to get him out,”
“I can’t call the cops,” You mumbled, walking over to your bed to sit down, “Chris smokes weed, they could find it,”
He continued watching you as you groaned loudly, pulling at the roots of your hair out of frustration.
“I could get him out,” He said sternly. You looked up at him, noticing how tense he still was.
“No offense Jonathan,” You said, standing up again to walk back towards him, “He’s got a bit of muscle on you,”
“I could use my toxin,” He said, looking down at you now, “He would be the perfect person to test it on- I’ve been meaning to test a liquidized version of it on someone-”
“Wait what?” You interrupted him quickly backing away, “You can’t test your fear toxin on my roommates boyfriend, Jonathan,”
“Why not?” He asked, confused, “Think about it, Y/N, if anyone really deserves to be tested on, wouldn’t it be him?”
You stopped for a moment, trying to rationalize what he was saying in your head.
“Come on, I’m sure he’s done worse than that,” Jonathan whispered, walking over to you, “You didn’t seem that surprised by a threat,”
“He’s hit Chris before,” You mumbled, looking away, “He cheats on her all the time,”
“See?” He reached his hands out now, grabbing your hips softly and pulling you towards him slightly, “Can you think of anyone better to test it on?”
You were so shocked at his physical advancements that you shook your head mindlessly agreeing with him.
“Rex,” You say loudly, stepping out of your room again a few minutes later, “Jonathan has this alcohol that he gets from some students at the university called ‘Party Potion’ that it’s harder than anything you’ve ever drank before,”
Rex sits up, intrigued, “Really?”
“Yes,” Jonathan steps into the doorframe beside you, “It’s basically a hallucinogen but it’s impossible to track since it’s in alcohol, so you won’t get caught like you could with tabs or pills,”
“Do you have it on you now?”
“No,” Jonathan said quickly, “But I can get you some the next time I come over,”
“Nice,” Rex said, smiling over at you, “It’s about time you brought a guy home with some use,”
You nodded shamefully, still unsure as to whether or not you wanted to drug him. You couldn’t help but consider it though, especially considering how much you trusted Jonathan’s judgement. And he thought it was a great idea.
Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Needles, Mention of Paranoia + Insomnia, Mention of sex
Summary: Jonathan meets reader’s roommate + boyfriend.
Author’s Note: Apparently I’m on a role tonight - Kelsie
Word Count: 1,913
Your talk with Jonathan eased your nerves quite a bit. You ended up sleeping that night and unfortunately through all of your Wednesday classes the next day.
“What the hell,” Chris said from the doorway of your bedroom.
You rolled over sleepily in bed, still waking up.
“What?”
“Don’t you have econ today?” She said, one hand on her hip and the other holding her bright pink flip phone up to her ear. You could hear laughing coming from it.
“Mind your own business,” You groaned, throwing a pillow at her which she easily dodged, “and tell your boyfriend to fuck off,”
“She says to fuck off,” She giggled into her phone before spinning around and leaving.
“Close my door,” You yelled, but she ignored you. You slowly got up and finally realized how long you had actually slept.
“Fuck,” You mumbled under your breath. You were already behind in econ, and this definitely won’t help.
You stumbled into the living room where Chris laid on the couch, still on the phone while the TV played FRIENDS loudly. Grabbing the remote, you turned it down, quickly earning a glare from your roommate.
After grabbing a cup of now cold coffee from the kitchen, you sat down at the bulky computer in your living room to check if your econ professor emailed you about missing class. You were surprised to see an email from Jonathan.
“Y/N, I finished the serum. I can give it to you during Thursday’s class or I can drop it off tonight if you really need it -Dr. Crane,”
You didn’t feel like you needed it as much as before now that you caught up on your sleep, but you couldn’t pass up seeing your teacher crush today. You quickly crafted a response telling him that you’ll be home all night and he could swing it by when he was able to. You ended it with your address before sending it.
“Rex is coming over later,” Chris called from the couch, flipping her phone shut loudly, “Look presentable,”
You groaned loudly and sunk down in the creaky desk chair dramatically, “I’m not getting ready for your douchebag of a boyfriend,”
“Can you at least try to get along with him,” She said, turning the TV back up, “It would mean a lot to me,”
You rolled your eyes and got up from the desk quickly.
“I’m going to get ready,” You said, passing her to get back into your room, “But it’s not for him,”
-
Several hours later you were stuck in an UNO game with Chris and her boyfriend. You didn’t want to hurt Chris’ feelings by never hanging out with them, but when they were together they shared a single brain cell.
“When do you say UNO?” Rex asked, examining the large amount of cards in his hands.
“When you have one left,” You mumbled, anxiously looking back at the clock in the kitchen behind you. Jonathan said he would be dropping the serum off soon, and you didn’t want him meeting Rex.
“Draw four,” Chris said confidently, placing down a +2 card.
“Can you not read?” You asked, pointing at the card in front of her.
She slapped her face quickly. A deep blush was set in her cheeks and she had been sipping on wine all night so you knew that she was a bit tipsy, but their shared stupidity was getting on your nerves.
A loud knock came from the front door behind you and you jumped quickly out of your seat to get it.
“Is that the pizza?” Rex asked, leaning over the table obnoxiously to see.
“We didn’t order pizza, we just talked about it,” Chris laughed, pouring herself another glass of wine.
You swung the door open quickly and were face to face with the professor once again. You prayed he couldn’t see the mess happening at the dining table from the door as you awkwardly attempted to take up the frame so he couldn’t see past.
“Hey,” You said breathlessly, attempting to be casual.
“Hi..” He awkwardly held out a paper bag, “The serum is in there, you should only need one dose,”
“Thanks,” You mumbled, opening it and looking inside.
“I wasn’t able to test it on anyone,” He said, watching you cautiously, “Try to keep me updated on how it’s affecting you when you take it,”
“Is it safe?”
Before he could answer, Rex interrupted from the dining table.
“Hey, do I know you man?” He yelled obnoxiously as he leaned over the entire dining table to see the front door.
Jonathan looked past you quizzically at the scene happening inside before back down at you, confused.
“Ignore him, please,” You begged, attempting to push him out of Rex’s vision.
“Hold on,” Rex said, jumping out of his seat, “You were my Psych professor last year at GSU,”
“Ah,” Jonathan nodded quickly, ignoring your attempts to push him away from the door, “Rex, right?”
“Yea man,” Rex said, coming over to where the two of you were standing, “What are you doing here?”
“Y/N is dating him,” Chris giggled from the dining table before she quickly downed another glass of wine.
A deep blush was shared between both you and Jonathan and you quickly tried to regain control over the situation.
“He was just dropping something off,” You said quickly, “In fact, he was just leaving,”
“No man,” Rex said, grabbing Jonathans upper arm and quickly pulling him inside of your apartment, “Stay and play UNO with us,”
Jonathan looked over at you with a nervous look on his face and you shook your head quickly.
“Oh my gosh yes,” Chris slurred from the table, “We were just about to order pizza,”
“Hell yea,” Rex cheered, giving Jonathan a rough slap on his back before joining Chris back at the table.
“I’m so sorry,” You quickly reached over and readjusted Jonathans suit jacket that had gotten messed up from Rex, “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, they’re just obnoxious,”
“It’s okay,” He blushed as you reached up and brushed his hair out of his face, “I have some time,”
“Yay,” Chris cheered loudly, “Do you drink wine?”
-
To say you were embarrassed as an understatement. You felt horrible having Jonathan now stuck in an UNO game with tweedle dumb and tweedle dumber.
“Do you have any…” Chris narrowed her eyes at her cards as she swayed in place, “7s?”
Rex handed over a few cards, confused, “Hey, how come you get to take cards now?”
“That’s ‘Go Fish’,” You mumbled, rubbing your head which was now starting to hurt, “You don’t ask for cards in UNO, you draw them,”
Chris started giggling hysterically, “I think I drank too much,”
“You think?” You mumbled, shooting an apologetic glance over at Jonathan who just smiled back softly.
“When do you say UNO again?” Rex asked for the second time that night.
“Alright,” You slammed your cards down on the table, defeated, “I’m not playing anymore, you guys are too dumb for UNO,”
Chris continued giggling in her seat as Rex shot you an offended look.
“I’m not dumb,” He said, watching as you stood up and ushered for Jonathan to do the same, “I dropped out of school on purpose,”
“You failed 5 classes,” Chris giggled from beside him.
“We’re leaving,” You groaned, leading Jonathan back to the front door.
“I’m so sorry,” You said, quickly pulling him into the hallway outside of your apartment. The dim light above you buzzed loudly.
“It’s okay,” He smiled at you again, “I enjoy spending time with you,”
You raised your eyebrows, impressed, “Are you flirting with me Professor?”
He rolled his eyes and turned away from you awkwardly as another blush spread across his face.
“Honestly I thought you wouldn't want to have anything to do with me after I said I wouldn't help with your fear toxin,” You mumbled.
“I told you, that was mostly just an excuse to get you to go out with me,” He said, still avoiding eye contact.
“We should go on an actual date,” You suggested eagerly, stepping closer towards him, “Like out to get drinks without Rex or Chris annoying us,”
“And no drugs,” He joked, finally looking back at you.
“Okay well now it just sounds lame,”
He laughed softly and you felt your heart soar. You had never heard him laugh before. You stood shocked for a moment as he fumbled to get his phone open.
“I’m not doing anything tomorrow after class,” He said, still looking at his phone, “If you’re free then,”
“I am,” You said, still watching him closely. You wanted to kiss him at that moment, but before you got the chance he shoved his phone back in his pocket and awkwardly stepped back.
“I’ll see you tomorrow in class then?” He said, offering an awkward smile.
“Okay,” You said softly, waiting for him to at least give you a hug goodbye.
“Keep me updated with the serum,” He reminded you before turning around and quickly leaving toward the elevator.
You stood silently in front of your apartment door for a moment before going back inside, disappointed.
“Did you kiss?” Chris slurred jokingly from the dining table still.
“Did you have sex?” Rex added in, earning a weak slap on the arm from Chris.
“You guys are so fucking embarassing,” You said angirly walking back towards the table where they sat, “What the fuck is wrong with you? You can’t act normal for two seconds?”
“I think we’re fun,” Chris said, a pouty look setting into her face.
“It’s not fun,” You groaned, grabbing the paper bag with the serum before leaving towards your room, “I barely know this guy. The least you could’ve done was be sober,”
You slammed the door behind you and sunk to the ground, embarrassed about the previous events. Surely Jonathan wouldn’t ever want to come visit again. It was mortifying.
You tried to stop thinking about it and quickly pulled the serum from the paper bag to examine. It was a tiny needle with a small amount of liquid inside. Your stomach dropped as you realized you had to inject it yourself. Your night kept getting worse and worse.
You took the cap off of the needle and took a deep breath before injecting it quickly into your left arm. It was immediately painful, your whole arm warming up almost as if it was on fire. You stifled your groans by burying your face into your lap and quickly fell over into a fetal position on the floor. An instant dizziness set in and you started to wonder how the serum was actually supposed to work. There was no one time medication for paranoia or insomnia. Jonathan could’ve given you poison and you didn’t even question it. In fact, you injected it yourself. Why did you trust this man so much? You just told Chris you barely know this guy and suddenly you're injecting yourself with “serums” he perscribes?
The more you thought about it the more nervous you got. He barely told you anything about his past or where he was from. He kept it all obscure. The truth was, you didn’t know him at all. Before you could panic more, the serum overtook you with drowsiness and you passed out quickly on your bedroom floor, forgetting to set an alarm for your class the next day.
Warnings: Language, Alcohol, mention of paranoia + insomnia
Summary: Reader sees Jonathan again for the first time since their date.
Author’s Note: HAHAH I’m here with a 5th part after a WHOLE YEAR of not updating 🥰🥰😘😘 anyway lmk if you wanna be on a tag list! -Kelsie
Word Count: 1,389
You were still a bit of a shaking mess after you left his apartment that night. That kind of fear wasn’t something you could just shake off. You fumbled with the key to your apartment before stumbling in.
“Rough night?” Chris said, watching you from the kitchen entrance, her grease stained apron still loose around her petite frame.
You ignored her as you threw your bookbag on the ground before you got to work untying your shoes.
“A professor?” She continued, “really?”
You stayed silent and clumsily kicked your shoes off.
“I didn’t know you were failing,” She joked, “Didn’t the term just start?”
“That’s not why I’m seeing him,” You finally responded, pushing past her to get into the kitchen.
“Is he actually your professor?” She asked, spinning around to face you with an amused look on her face, “He’s so young,”
You quickly grabbed a beer from the fridge before pushing past her again to get to your room.
“Come on,” She whined from the kitchen, “I wanna know all the juicy details,”
You couldn’t tell Chris what had actually happened that night. You ignored her still as you closed your bedroom door behind you before collapsing on your bed. You were exhausted.
You laid for a few moments but sleep wouldn’t take over. You compulsively kept opening your eyes everytime you got close to it. The mere thought of closing your eyes and being stuck in that darkness again kept you lying awake all that night as well as for a few nights following the first date you shared with the professor.
Before you knew it you were slumping into his Tuesday class. He sat with his head down at his desk hunched over some paperwork. Behind him, on the whiteboard, read, “Leave Stanford Prison Experiment paper on front desk”.
Shit. You totally forgot about the homework he assigned last class.
You slowly walked over to his desk where he sat working and hovered silently for a moment before he looked up at you, confused.
“I forgot to do the paper,” You mumbled, shamefully.
A deep blush set into his cheeks and he quickly looked away from your gaze.
“I take you on one date and you suddenly think you’re exempt from the homework,” He says quietly so none of the students already seated could hear.
It was your turn to blush, “That’s not it-” You started before he cut you off.
“It’s okay, I’ll give you an A,”
“I haven’t been sleeping,” You confessed, trying to explain yourself. He looked back up at you now, with a softer expression this time.
“I can’t stop thinking about the darkness,” You said quietly, pausing for a moment as a student swiftly dropped a paper off in between the two of you before heading to their seat, “I’m scared to close my eyes,”
“I shouldn’t have tested it on you,” He said softly, “I’m sorry,”
“I wanted to do it,” You said, pausing again as another student came and left, “I just didn’t want you thinking that I didn’t do the homework because you’d pass me anyway,”
He looked away from you again, avoiding your gaze once more.
“Although I don’t think I would’ve been able to do the assignment anyway,” You confessed, blushing, “I was distracted during the whole film,”
“Distracted?” He asked, looking back at you quizzically.
“By you, silly,” You mumbled, looking down.
He sat stunned for a moment, an awkward demeanor setting in.
“Class should’ve started three minutes ago,” You said quietly, “It seems like I’m being a distraction now,”
He fumbled quickly to move the papers in front of him to see the clock on his desk as you waltzed to the back of the lecture hall to your seat with a smirk on your face.
“Alright class,” He said loudly, as he stumbled to the front of the class, “Everyone quiet. I’ll be grading your papers tomorrow so you’ll have them back by Thursday,”
He quickly pulled the projector clicker from his pocket, turning it on.
“Today we’ll be talking about experiments inspired by the Stanford Prison Experiment,”
The slides shifted into their places in the projector as he clicked through them, explaining each one. Saying you were distracted was an understatement. You couldn’t focus on the slides at all, having him standing there right by the screen.
“Most of these experiments focused on fear,” He said, his hand shifting the mic on his collar as he readjusted his glasses, “As I mentioned on the first day of class..” He trailed off suddenly as he made eye contact with you from the back of class. He stood frozen in place for a moment before a student near the front spoke up.
“Fear fuels everyday life?”
His gaze was taken from you as he looked, confused, at the student who spoke.
“Um,” He paused again, trying to regain his thoughts, “Yea, yes. Fear fuels everyday life. This is, um, why a lot of experiments are done on it,”
He fumbled with the clicker in his hands for a moment, quickly turning the projector off.
“Class is dismissed early today,” He mumbled into the mic before ripping it off his collar.
“What about homework?” A student yelled across the lecture hall, causing an eruption of groans from other students.
“No homework today,” He yelled back before sitting back down at his desk.
As the rest of your class quickly flooded out of the lecture hall, you took your sweet time packing everything into your bag before going back up to his desk once the room was empty.
“What the hell was that,” You laughed, crossing your arms.
“I was distracted,” He mumbled, not taking his eyes away from the humming computer screen in front of him.
You blushed and waited for him to continue, but he didn’t. He didn’t even look at you.
“So um,” You awkwardly played with the hem of your shirt, “We did mention a second date..”
“Mhm,” He mumbled, still not looking over at you.
“Um,” You cleared your throat awkwardly, “Whenever you’re available, I probably will be too, now that I don’t have to do homework,” You joked, earning no response from him.
You stood in silence for a few moments, “Unless you don’t want to?”
He finally peeled his eyes away from his screen to look over at you, “Have you slept at all since Thursday?” He asked, disregarding the previous conversation completely.
“Not really,”
“What are you afraid of,” He asked sternly, his gaze not leaving yours.
“Um,” You looked away from him, quickly, “I don’t want to get stuck in the darkness,” You mumbled, “The emptiness,”
“You won’t,” He said, standing suddenly. You watched as he quickly started shoving all of his papers into his bag.
“Your fear is irrational,” He continued, “There’s never emptiness anywhere,”
“You seemed fascinated by it on Thursday,” You mumbled, embarrassed.
“I’m not judging you,” He said, walking around the desk to stand by you, “I’m just saying you don’t need to be scared of emptiness. I promise you’ll always have something,”
His tone was snarky and you glared up at him, “You’re making fun of me,”
“You need to sleep,” He said, ignoring your previous statement once again, “That’s your homework,”
“I can’t,” You whined, following him out of the classroom and through the hallway of the university, “You don’t understand, when I close my eyes I’m there,”
“I’ll work on a serum to help with the side effects,” He said as he led you out of the main building and outside.
“You didn’t tell me there were side effects,” You said, stopping suddenly.
He stopped a few paces in front of you.
“There weren’t any with me,” He said, turning to face you, “But it’s causing paranoia and insomnia for you,”
“How long will it take to make the serum?”
“I’ll work on it as much as I can this week,” He said, walking back towards you, “I can’t guarantee it by a certain date. But until then, please at least try to sleep,”
“Aw,” You teased, rocking in place slightly, “Are you worried about me Professor?”
A deep blush set in his cheeks and he turned and walked away quickly without saying anything.
“You can’t escape me,” You called, jogging after, “Seriously, we ride the same bus home,”
Warnings: Mention of drugs, Mention of sex, Mention of alcohol, Mention of abuse
Summary: Reader starts rethinking being involved with Doctor Crane.
Author’s Note: Me vs not updating a series for months lol -Kelsie
Word Count: 2,087
After Jonathan left that night you were left to dwell in the realization of how much control this man had over you. Your own morals, now askew, all thanks to a man you had only met a few weeks prior. Were you really gonna let him drug Rex? As horrible as Rex was, nobody deserves to go through that amount of fear without their consent.
You started thinking about what kind of man Jonathan had to be to be okay with something like that. You didn't know him as well as you thought you did, it seemed.
-
You went all weekend without seeing Jonathan. As much as you missed him, part of you knew that the next time you saw him he’d want to talk about his toxin and Rex as a guinea pig. You decided that after this, you didn't want to have anything to do with that toxin anymore. It just didn’t align with your morals. Plus, you wanted whatever was going on between you and Jonathan to be more than just psychology and fear.
You got to his class ten minutes early Tuesday morning, groggy and hungover from drinking with Chris the night prior. The fluorescent lights in the lecture hall made your head spin when you first walked in. It was empty besides Jonathan at his desk at the front, so you walked over as he sat with his eyes glued to the screen, typing away.
“Good morning,” You mumbled.
He stopped typing and looked up at you quickly, then down to your empty hands.
“You didn’t do the paper I assigned?” He asked, leaning back in his desk chair.
Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you raked your brain trying to remember him assigning a paper.
“On animal testing in the world of psychology,” He reminded you, his arms crossing.
It didn’t sound familiar at all. Then you remembered.
“I fell asleep in class Thursday,” You said, defending yourself quickly, “I didn’t hear you assign it,”
“I sent out an email as well,”
You let out a quiet ‘oh’ before awkwardly rocking back and forth slowly in place.
“I’ll let it slide again,” He said, standing up, “Consider this thing with Rex as extra credit,”
He gave you a soft smirk and you awkwardly let out a sigh.
“About that…” You trailed off awkwardly.
“You don’t wanna do it anymore?”
“We can do it,” You continued, hesitantly, “It’s just, after this, I don’t wanna have anything to do with that toxin anymore,”
“But you’ve been such a great partner with it,” He said, confused.
“Seriously Jonathan,” You gave him an upset look, “Is that the only reason you’re with me? Because I help you with your weird little experiments?”
He didn’t answer at first, and you stepped away from his desk.
Just then, a student walked into the silent lecture hall and made their way to a desk at the front of the room.
“No, it’s not,” Jonathan finally said, quietly.
“I don’t believe you,” You said harshly back. You spun around on your heel as you made your way to a desk, ending the conversation.
More students started to slowly trickle into the lecture hall before class finally began. You sat with your head down the entire period, not wanting to even look at him. You knew that the way you had snapped at him hurt his feelings, but you were tired of not knowing his true intentions. The headache you were experiencing continued to pound as the lights above you flickered quickly as you thought more about if dating him was worth it at all.
You really liked him, but were his red flags something you were able to look past? Were you happy enough?
As the class ended, you sat slumped in your chair waiting for everyone to leave until it was just you and Jonathan again. You slowly made your way back down to his desk where he stood packing his bag with last week's papers. He looked up at you cautiously, not saying anything.
“Rex is staying over tonight,” You mumbled, avoiding eye-contact, “If you wanted to come over and do it,”
“I’d like to do something else instead,” He said, slinging his bag over his shoulder.
“Why?” You asked, monotone, as you finally looked up at him.
“So you’ll believe that it’s not the only reason I’m seeing you,”
You sighed deeply, turning away. You didn’t know what to believe anymore.
“We don’t have to do the thing with Rex at all anymore, if you really don’t want to,” He continued.
“I don’t,” You said softly, “I just wanna be with you, instead of worrying about all of this,”
You looked back over at him and he was staring at you with a confused expression.
“I really like you Jonathan,” You said, stepping towards him, “I want us, without drugs or guinea pigs, or scary things,”
His expression faltered, and for a moment you thought he was about to cry.
“Can we go to my apartment?” He asked softly, “I can make dinner,”
You smiled softly, nodding, “I’d like that,”
-
You hadn’t been to his apartment since you tried the toxin, and being there again made you uneasy.
He made his way towards the kitchen, talking distantly about the different kinds of pastas in his cupboards. You weren’t really listening though. Instead, you were examining how blank the walls of his apartment were. There was nothing hanging up, no picture frames, no art pieces, nothing. In fact, there was no decoration anywhere. Furthermore, almost none of his items had any color.
You wanted to know more about him, and his apartment wasn’t helping you with anything. You turned around as you watched him turn his stove on to boil some water, a box of spaghetti sitting beside him on the counter.
“Why are you afraid of crows?” You asked quietly.
He turned around, confusion masking his expression. Slowly, his features softened and he let out a soft sigh, turning his attention back towards the stove.
“When I was a kid my grandmother use to experiment with all sorts of chemicals,” He explained quietly, not looking back at you, “She had this one that would just completely enrage birds,”
You stood silently behind him wondering if it was a question you should’ve asked. You wanted to get to know him more, obviously, but it seemed that you somehow managed to ask the most intimate question you could.
“She would soak this suit made of burlap sacks and make me wear it,” He paused for a moment, “Kind of like a scarecrow,”
He poured the pasta into the boiling water before continuing.
“There was this church by our house, the Keeny’s family chapel, and it had this huge crows nest in it,” He turned to face you hesitantly now, “She would lock me inside and let them attack me,”
You slowly walked over to him as he awkwardly avoided eye contact.
“I’m sorry,” You said softly, grabbing his hands, “You didn’t deserve that, especially as a child,”
He looked up at you now, and you could see how hurt he was by just telling the story.
“We don’t have to talk about it anymore,” You reassured him before stepping away and letting him finish the pasta.
The two of you ate silently, not really knowing what else to talk about. You felt as if every time you asked him a question, it had some sort of traumatizing answer.
“Do you like TV?” You asked awkwardly, after a few minutes of silence.
He looked up at you from across the small table, his fork hanging awkwardly in his hand hovering above his plate.
“Not really,” He answered monotone.
“I watch a lot of TV with Chris,” You said, trying to continue the conversation, “Our favorite show is Law and Order,”
Silence fell between the two of you again and eventually you both finished your plates.
“So you’ve never had a girlfriend,” You said cautiously trying to change the subject to something different, “But have you ever had a crush on someone before?”
“Um, yeah,” He said quietly.
“How was that,” You asked, encouraging him to go on.
“Her name was Sherry,” He explained, “I asked her to prom senior year and her boyfriend beat me half to death before locking me in a locker for five hours,”
You sat silently shocked as he looked up at you.
“I’m sorry,” He said, sitting up, “I keep trauma dumping,”
“It’s okay,” You mumbled slowly, “I’m just trying to get to know you a little better,”
“My favorite color is green,” He joked softly, “And my birthday is November 16th,”
“A Scorpio?” You giggled, earned an endearing look from the doctor in front of you.
“You’re into that kind of stuff?” He enquired, “Like all those horoscopes in the papers?”
“Chris likes to read them,” You explained, “It’s kind of scary how accurate it is sometimes,”
A moment of silence passed.
“You don’t really have a lot of decorations here,” You said, motioning to the plain apartment you both were sitting in.
“I don’t have anything to put out I guess,”
“If I gave you a little photo of me would you hang it up?” You asked, flirtatiously leaning across the table.
He blushed deeply, but didn’t look away, “I think I’d keep it in my wallet, so I can look at it whenever I want,”
It was your turn to blush now.
“I’ll have to find a good one,” You said, leaning back into your chair.
“I’m sorry I upset you earlier,” He said softly, “and that I made you feel like that was the only reason I was with you,”
“Well you don’t really flirt with me all that much,” You explained honestly, “It sometimes makes me feel like you’re not into me,”
“I am into you,” He said hesitantly, “It’s hard for me to express that I guess,”
“It’s okay,” You reassured him quickly, “You don’t have a good history with affection, from what I can tell,”
“I appreciate you a lot, y/n,”
You blushed again.
“Can we watch a show or something?” You asked, looking over at the small television that sat in front of his couch.
“I don’t have cable,”
“Okay,” You looked back over at him with a smirk, “Then we can just sit on the couch and get right to making out,”
He froze in place, and looked obviously uncomfortable.
“That’s why you watch TV on dates,” You explained, “So you can sit on the couch and it eventually leads to making out… or other things I guess,”
“I didn’t know that was a thing,” He said awkwardly.
“Yea guys try to do it all the time on dates,” You rolled your eyes, “All men want is to get in your pants,”
“That’s not what I want,” Jonathan said, straightening up in the chair across from you.
“What?” You giggled, “I mean, it’d be okay if you did, like just a little,”
His expression stalled on his face, and you could tell he didn’t know how to respond.
“Seriously Jonathan,” You leaned across the table towards him again, “We’re dating, you can admit that you find me sexually attractive,”
When he didn’t respond, you continued, “I mean, I do, with you,”
“Okay,” He shot up suddenly from his chair and rushed to his front door, “It’s been a nice night but I have to sleep soon, I have a class in the morning,”
You sat frozen in your chair for a moment, before awkwardly standing up.
“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” You said, slinging your bag over your shoulder before walking over to him, “It’s okay if you don’t see my that way,”
“I do,” He said quietly, letting out a shaky breath.
You smiled up at him softly. Grabbing his tie like you once did before, you pulled him down towards you to kiss him again. This time, he kissed you back. You took this as an opportunity to run your fingers through his dark hair, keeping his head pulled towards you, deepening the kiss further. His hands snaked around your waist cautiously.
You pulled away giggling, “Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”
A deep blush set into his cheeks and you quickly kissed him again before letting go and leaving his apartment.
“I’ll see you Thursday!” You yelled cheerfully as you left the blushing professor standing frozen in his doorway.
Summary: Jonathan spills a secret to the reader (his student).
Author’s Note: stan cillian murphy or whateva 🥰 -Kelsie
Word Count: 1,035
As the rest of the class slowly drained out of the hall you stayed behind, hesitant. Why did he need to talk to you if you got 100% on the paper? What could he possibly have to say?
You were the only student left in the hall. Slowly, with your heart pounding in your ears, you made your way down to where his desk was. You stood idly for a moment in front of his desk before he finally looked up at you.
“Miss y/n,” he said, setting down the folder he was looking at, “I wanted to discuss your paper,”
“What about it?”
“You’re not actually scared of phobias,” He said, walking around his desk slowly until he was standing next to you, “are you?”
Busted.
“No,” You said candidly, “I couldn’t think of an actual phobia that I had,”
“It’s a creative solution,” he muttered, taking the paper out of your hands and looking over it, “You’re the only student that got 100%,”
Jesus. You watched him slowly look up at you for some sort of reaction but you stood frozen in front of him.
“The way you talk about fear is…. incredible,” He said, handing you your paper back, “I’d love to discuss it more with you. Maybe, over dinner?”
You couldn’t help it, your jaw dropped slightly and he quickly derailed.
“I mean- if you want,” He stuttered quickly, readjusting his glasses that had started to slide down the bridge of his nose, “If you don’t want to, that’s fine too,”
“I do,” You said quickly, “You just caught off guard- that’s all,”
He nodded quickly as he shoved his hands into his pockets not-so-casually.
“Well.. um.. are you free tonight?” He asked, tilting his head slightly.
Your heart melted. How could one man be so endearing.
“I am,” You laughed slightly, “Besides this paper you just assigned,”
He laughed too before silence fell between the two of you.
“My roomate works at this diner outside of town,” You suggested after a few moments of silence, “She could give us free food,”
He hesitated for a moment before agreeing.
“I usually take the bus,” You muttered shamefully, “I don’t have a car,”
“I take the bus as well,” He said as he quickly grabbed his bags, “It’s easier than parking downtown,”
The two of you walked to the bus stop near the college parking lot in awkward silence. You looked over at him. He had to have only been a few years older than you. How was he a doctor? Did he ask you to dinner as a romantic gesture or a professional one? Were you overthinking this like you did everything else?
“Did you grow up here?” He asked as you guys made it to the parking lot, “In Gotham, I mean,”
“No,” You muttered, leaning against the cold pole of the bus stop, “I’m from Oregon but I really wanted to go to GSU. I moved here almost two years ago,”
He nodded his head slowly in response.
“What about you?” You asked, watching him closely. Was this a question that you should’ve been asking your professor? Didn’t he say last class that he had no interest in sharing his personal life?
“I’m from a small town just outside the city limits,” He explained, “I moved here immediately after I graduated from high school,”
Curiosity got the better of you, “How did you get your doctorate so young?”
He laughed slightly, looking down, “I submitted a thesis on the etiology of the fear reflex in primary mammals my junior year,” He explained, “The president at the time, Dr. Blaney, granted me my doctorate after reading it then offered me this job,”
“Must’ve been one hell of a thesis,”
He smirked over at you as the bus pulled up loudly at the corner. Once you were both sat down inside you turned to him.
“Your thesis was about fear? Why do find it so interesting?”
“Oh gosh,” he laughed again, “So many reasons,”
You watched him closely, waiting for him to continue.
“Have you ever witnessed fear up close,” He asked low, leaning toward you, “On someone else?”
“Maybe,” You mumbled, trying to think, “I mean probably, right?”
“Not pure fear,” he said, still leaning in, “not fearing for their life- for their sanity,”
You scrunched your face up in confusion as you looked over at him.
“What?”
“You’d understand if you saw it,” he mumbled, finally leaning away, “The way you spoke about it in your paper you need to see it- to feel it,”
“How do you induce pure fear into someone?” You asked, curiosity once again getting the better of you, “That would take some sort of miracle drug and would be extremely inhuman. I mean, who would volunteer to test something like that?”
“You’d be surprised,” He said, watching you, “You’re a pretty curious person. If a drug existed that showed you pure fear would you not be curious to try it? To see it’s effects?”
“I would be curious, but I wouldn’t do it on myself,” You mumbled, deep in thought, “The psychological effects would be too much,”
He scoffed.
“I chose you for a reason, y/n,” he said, “All of your classmates… they’re… dumber than pond scum,”
You looked away, clearly frustrated, “I guess I don’t understand what you want from me,”
“I have the drug,” He whispered, putting his arm around you to speak to you closely.
You turned back to face him, tensing up once you realized how close he was.
“What drug?”
“It induces pure fear,” He continued quickly, “I’ve tested it,”
“On who?”
“Myself, mostly. Not enough to cause permanent damage of course,” He glanced over at you and paused.
“I’m not testing out your cracked out acid, okay?” You said, leaning away from him.
“I’m not asking you to be a guinea pig,” He sighed, frustrated as he pulled his arm away, “I’m asking if you want to help me with it. We would test on other people,”
“No one would volunteer,” You frowned, “It’s unethical, I doubt the university would fund it,”
Summary: Reader is a student as Gotham State Univeristy and is taking Dr. Crane’s psychology course.
Author’s Note: Hopefully I have the energy to make this a series! I enjoyed writing this one 🥺 -Kelsie
Word Count: 1,536
Gotham State University was your favorite place to be during the spring. Sometimes it felt like the only place in Gotham that had life. Spring was when the cherry blossoms on campus bloomed, flowering the pathways between buildings in a soft pink carpet. Not to mention the campus was always bustling with students and animal life.
Spring term had just started for you, a sophomore at GSU, and you were currently sprinting through the main building on campus. It was the first day of class and you were already running late. Rude glances got thrown at you as you pushed through the crowd of students in the psych hallway but you couldn’t care less. You couldn’t start this term as the girl who was late. First impressions mean everything.
You ended up overestimating how much time you had to get to class, and busted loudly through the door two minutes before class even started. The lecture hall fell silent and all eyes drew to you, panting in the doorway. A deep blush spread over your face and you dropped your head as you quickly made your way to the back of the hall, trying not to draw any more attention to yourself.
“Could I ask you all to sit down at this time? Class is starting,” Whatever chatter had started back up after you entered quickly died down as the professor stood up from behind his desk. He adjusted the mic next to his face awkwardly before making his way toward the front screen.
You squinted from your seat in the back of the hall. He seemed a bit young for a professor. Especially for one at GSU.
“I’m not going to spend the first day introducing myself and going over a syllabus,” He said, monotone, “You don’t need to know about my personal life and I don’t need to know about yours. You’re here to learn,”
You frowned. This guy seemed like a party pooper. It was a slight relief though, you had already done three icebreakers in other classes this week. It would be nice just to jump into the material.
“My name is Dr. Crane and the syllabus is emailed to you if you need to read it,” He mumbled before turning toward the projector with a clicker, “We’re starting off this course with fear, something that I feel as if fuels everyday life,”
“That’s a huge claim,” A student from the front said loudly.
“You can leave if you disagree,” Dr. Crane stated simply, not bothering to even look toward the student, “And you raise your hand in this class if you need to say something,”
Yeesh. You wondered if this scary persona was a part of this lesson on fear.
“Fear is one of humans most important emotions. It’s what kept our ancestors alive from, let’s say, wooly mammoths, and it’s what keeps you from jumping out the window at every one of life’s inconveniences. It’s both biochemical and emotional- which is an important part of today’s lesson,” He clicked his clicker and the projector quickly switched toward a slide explaining the biochemical and emotional responses to fear.
You scrambled quickly to write everything down as quickly as he was saying it but ended up with a page full of unreadable scribbles instead. You were better off just sitting back and listening to what he had to say.
“Biochemical responses to fear are universal while emotional responses are purely individual. This is why some people enjoy scary movies and some people don’t,” He continued, the slides on the projector clicking loudly as they slid in and out of place, “Biochemical responses are part of survival. Without them, none of us would be here today. Some physical reactions to fear include sweating, increased heart rate, and high adrenaline levels. The common “Fight or Flight” response is also a biochemical response to fear,”
You slowly started to zone out as you watched him ramble on more about emotional responses to fear. Every once in awhile he’d readjust his glasses that kept slowly sliding down the bridge of his nose. As he readjusted his glasses his hand would hit the mic causing a soft scratching noise to echo throughout the hall. You couldn’t tell if it was just your boy-less spring break but you were starting to find his awkwardness endearing.
“Now fear is incredibly complex, and the causes of them are purely individual. Phobias can be caused by trauma or just a general lack of control. Other people fear things simply because of the physical response they get from it. Take heights for example: you look down and you feel your stomach drop. Are more scared of being so high or is it just the feeling you get? Is this something that can apply to all fears? Does this make all phobias treatable?”
What he was saying was actually pretty interesting and you would’ve been a lot more focused on it maybe if he wasn’t so damn attractive. Instead, your eyes watched carefully how his hair flopped as he ran his hand through it. Your stomach did a bit of a flip as he turned toward the hall of students.
“That’s all for todays lecture. I’ve sent an email out of a paper I want on my desk before next class on Thursday. Read it carefully,”
Shit. You completely blanked on the last half of the lecture, too busy watching him and not listening. As the rest of the class quickly got up and out of the class, you fumbled awkwardly trying to shove several notebooks into your bag at once. Once everything was inside your bag you brushed your hair out of your face awkwardly before realizing there was only a few students left in the hall and they were quickly making their way out. You glanced over toward Dr. Crane’s desk and made eye contact with him briefly before he quickly looked down at the folder opened in front of him. You blushed furiously before quickly leaving the hall.
-
The paper was supposed to be written about a phobia or yours, but for some reason, you just couldn’t think of one. You sat in just the light of the buzzing computer in your living room for an hour trying to research different phobias seeing if you could find one that you related to, but couldn’t.
The door to your shared apartment opened and closed quickly and you turned around in the squeaky desk chair, watching as your roommate slumped against the wall, defeated.
“How was work?” You asked, noting the grease stains on her apron.
“Great,” She mumbled, “I need a drink,”
You rolled your eyes before turning back toward the computer. What if you went meta? With just one quick search you found it, phobophobia: the fear of phobias. It wasn’t a fear you had but it’s not like that was none of his business.
-
Thursday rolled around quickly and you confidently placed your paper on his desk ten minutes before class started. The lecture hall was empty besides two other students and Dr. Crane who sat behind his desk watching you curiously.
“You’re early today,” You blushed, embarrassed that he remembered you from Tuesday.
“I figured out how to manage my time better,” You awkwardly stated before spinning around and walking toward the back of the class.
That class period he spent reading through the papers that were turned in as a documentary of the Stanford Prison Experiment played on the projector. It made you uneasy, watching the raw clips from the 70s. You could definitely see how fear played into this experiment.
You looked away from the screen and down toward Dr. Crane who sat flipping through the papers. How could he remember you so clearly from Tuesday? There were at least 100 students in this class alone, not to mention his other classes. Did you make that bad of an impression?
He looked up at you, most likely sensing your stare and you quickly glanced back at the screen. Another blush slowly crept across your face.
Near the end of the class, he slowly handed the papers back out. It was only the second day of class- how was he able to know everyone’s name? You finally decided that he must’ve just been really good at associating faces with names. Maybe you didn’t make as bad of a first impression as you initially thought. Maybe he was just really good at recognizing people.
He walked up toward you slowly before sliding your paper in front of you. You avoided eye contact, pretending to be invested in the documentary, but watched as he walked away.
As the documentary ended, the film in the projector started clicking loudly and Dr. Crane finally turned it off.
“I want a paper on The Stanford Prison Experiment on my desk Tuesday before class,” He said loudly as he turned the lights back on, “Try to write it better than this last one, the average score was 70%,”
You looked down quickly at your paper where a neat 100% was written at the top of your page. You sighed, relieved, before noticing the note written underneath it.
Summary: Reader and Dr. Crane finish the date with his fear gas
Author’s Note: Not a super popular series but I do enjoy writing it :) -Kelsie
Word Count: 1,215
An hour later and the two of you were at his apartment.
“I don’t usually go home with a guy after just one date,” You joked awkwardly before freezing in place. Was it a date? Did you just overstep?
He turned to face you, an awkward expression on his face.
“Don’t worry, I’m only drugging you,” He joked back. His form had stiffened though, only slightly, but you could tell.
You blushed deeply as he turned back around to unlock his apartment door. It was small and dark. You had to admit, you expected more, but you knew how expensive Gotham apartments were- even with a job like his.
“You can sit down,” He mumbled, turning the dim lights on.
You sat awkwardly on the couch, growing more and more nervous. He disappeared down the hallway to your left for a moment before coming back out with a large suitcase. Then, he set it down and opened it on the coffee table in front of you.
“Dr. Crane,” You said, looking down at the instruments, “Is this safe?”
He looked up at you from his kneeling position by the opened suitcase.
“I’m only giving you a small portion of the dose I gave myself,” He said, avoiding the question, “And you can call me Jonathan, we are on a date, aren’t we?”
“Are we?” You blushed again and watched as he looked down awkwardly.
“I’m sorry I’m not very good at this,” He muttered as he started pulling the tools out.
You didn’t know what to say. The second dating got thrown into the conversation his confident demeanor fell away. You could tell he didn’t do this often. He was distracting himself with all the talk of the experiments and this drug that was ever-so-interesting to you.
“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” You said after a moment of silence, “I mean, at least you’re here,”
It was a weak attempt at flirting, but it got to him anyway. He didn't reply, tensing up again as his shaky hands attempted to put together the gas chamber in front of him.
“You don’t mind if I write down what’s happening, do you?” He asked, sitting next to you on the couch, “I’ve never seen its effects on anyone else,”
“Go ahead,” You replied, noting that he changed the topic.
His hand timidly reached forward, brushing some stray strands of hair away from your face so he could administer the dose through a mask with a tube that led to a small tank inside the suitcase. He held the mask over your mouth before opening the tank and quickly closing it.
“Breath it in,” He said, nervously noting the amount of gas that was let out, “Slowly,”
You slowly took a deep breath, noting the foul stench of the gas. At first, you felt nothing. Almost a second later, the mask was no longer on your face, and you were no longer in Jonathan’s apartment.
“Jonathan?” You mumbled, looking around. Everything was black. There wasn’t even an echo. A tightness in your chest started to grow and you started hyperventilating. There was nothing, no noise, no people, no world; it was just empty.
Several minutes passed and your breath quickened more and you tried calming down but you couldn’t. Your heart was racing so fast you thought it was going to fly out of your chest. It was like a bad trip.
“Jonathan,” You said again, this time louder.
“Y/n, I’m here,” You could hear him but it sounded like he was far away.
“Where are you?” You gasped, trying to catch your breath.
“I’m sitting right next to you,” He said, this time closer, “the effects are wearing off,”
You closed your eyes, focusing on breathing slower before opening your eyes to find yourself sitting back in his living room next to him.
“Are you alright?” He asked, a worried look on his face.
You were still panting and felt an urge to break down crying.
“I um..” You sniffed, “I never wanna do that again,”
“We don’t have to,” He said, standing up quickly, “I didn’t realize it would have such a strong effect on you. Your breathing was so rapid I thought you were going to pass out,”
“It’s like a panic attack in a jar,” You said in awe, watching as he shoved everything back into the suitcase. He quickly put the suitcase back from where he got it from before joining you back on the couch.
“What did you see?” He asked, pulling his notebook out.
“Nothing,” You shivered, “I couldn’t hear anything either,”
“That’s strange,” He said, scribbling quickly, “When I administered it on myself I could still hear things liked the traffic outside and the tv next door,”
He looked up quickly, realization hitting him.
“It’s your fear,” He said, excitedly adjusting his glasses, “Nothingness, oblivion, that’s why you couldn’t hear me,”
“Okay,” You mumbled, pulling your knees to your chest.
The smile from his face faded as he quickly sat his notebook down.
“I’m sorry y/n, you’re not my test subject,”
“I wanted to do it,” You said quickly, “I was curious- I needed to know,”
“And now you do,” He said, leaning toward you, “Will you help me? We would test it on others and see its true potential,”
“Jonathan,” You mumbled, “Honestly, I want nothing to do with that gas,”
He leaned back, watching you closely as you slowly stopped shaking.
“Okay,” he said after a moment of silence.
“I should go,” You said, awkwardly standing up and grabbing your bookbag.
He stood up as well, and the two of you paused for a moment, not saying anything.
“Y’know we didn’t really ever talk about my paper,” You forced an awkward laugh, “That’s why you wanted to go to dinner, right? Or was that just a cover so you could ask me to help you with the gas,”
“I think they were both a cover so I could go out with you,” He mumbled, avoiding eye contact with you, “Although I really do think you could have contributed a lot. Your paper was really insightful,”
“Well,” You rocked back and forth on your heels flirtatiously as he slowly looked back over at you, “Maybe next time I’ll choose what the date is. But I will admit that milkshakes and drugs is a new one for me,”
He laughed awkwardly as a blush grew on his face.
“You’ll go out with me again?”
“Yea,” You shrugged, “I think you’re cute and super smart and you bring out a side of me I didn’t know I had,”
His blush deepened and he looked away again.
“You’re easy to flatter,” You noted when he didn’t respond, “It’s cute,”
“I’m sorry,” He laughed softly, readjusting his glasses “I’m not used to this,”
You threw your bag over your shoulder and slowly walked past him toward the front door.
“I’ll see you Tuesday, Professor,” You smirked before spinning around and walking out, leaving him a blushing mess.
There were many things you could’ve taken from that date; albeit most of them were red flags but you looked past them. He was too endearing, like an abandoned puppy… with askew morals.
You frowned, was the morals thing something you were willing to look past?
