#dr. w.

[excitablegurelle]

Heavy Breathing

Starting back some time mid-February I got sick. This wasn’t my usual chronic illness, this was acute. It went from flu-like to worse quickly. I put myself in steroids to breathe but handled it all wrong. Afraid they would put me in the hospital and the house would go to Hell in a handbasket, bills wouldn’t get paid, the emergency room was always an option was my rationale. Albertus Seba – Squid…

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[apartyofone]

My weekly with Dr. W.

X and I started meeting with Dr. W, the counselor, back about 5 years ago. Now it's just him and me for our weekly 45 minutes in his quiet little office near Southhampton, PA. 

For awhile I didn't think much of Dr. W's abilities. Every week he'd just sit there and let me, and then sometimes X, just talk and talk. He would say very little during the entire session. When it's just the two of us, I drive 95% of the discussion. 

But a few months ago, I realized exactly what he was doing. I've told Dr. W. over and over that my default position about people is skepticism, bordering on outright dismissal. A person really has to wow me before I begin to take what they say as gospel.

Well, there is one person that I listen to very carefully. I generally hold his opinions in high standards. If he's made up his mind about something, I always respect that point of view.

That person would be: Me. What Dr. W. has got me to do all these months is to talk things out to him, let me weigh the pros and cons in discussing with him, and just keeps me focused on the issue until I've resolved it in my own head. Or that I admit I need help/more information/more resources.

That sneaky devil.

It's always an hour well spent with Dr. W. I usually walk out of there with my blood pressure a few points lower. Some clarity has emerged from the fog that is my life recently.

Today he helped me prioritize on taking better care of myself both mentally and physically-- sleep, hobbies, additional outreach resources. .