study thoughts 💭
so today i was at the library for three hours. spent most of that time attempting to plan & start an essay for a drama module and got entirely too stressed. then i got started on my film essay and it was so much easier.
at the beginning of the year i struggled to connect with the film material, and thrived in drama. now it is the other way around, which i thought might happen, just didn’t expect the switch to be this quick.
i need to try and stop myself leaping to extremes - i’ve always had this thing where if i’m not perfect at something the first try, i’m a failure and there’s no use trying again. i mean, total drama student. i’m literally in my second month of my four year degree and i’m already envisioning my crippling failure which is terrifying. i know that these thoughts are just worst-case-scenario - i am very familiar thanks to ocd. i know these next few weeks will be hard but i gotta push through ‘cause i know i can, and that things will work out as long as i’m putting my best effort in.
