I don't even want to talk too much about 2012, except to say...JESUS CHRIST. What a fucking year. Instead of dwelling on that though, dwelling on how this year essentially didn't exist; like, it was like it was just extracted from my total experience altogether. All that's left is a foot that kind of hurts all of the time and a nascent sleep disorder. Instead of concentrating on that, I'm going to concentrate on how this next year has to be different. I mean, a of all, it just can't (with the notable exceptions of dismemberment or developing profound colitis) get any worse.
B of all, like my friend Amanda said last night, I just really can't have another year like this. I can't afford to have another year like this. Or, my spirit can't afford it or something like that. Anyhoo, I don't usually say this because I really think that sucky things just suck and why can't we just let them be horrible instead of putting lipstick on the pig, but I really think that I'm going to look back at this butt rape of a year and realize that I learned something very important. I have absolutely no clue what that will be, but I'm serious about that. I want to look back and appreciate.
And shortly begins the year of the dream jam. You heard it here first. 2013, I am Robert DeNiro and you are Juliette Lewis's mouth. Get ready. Go put your lipgloss on.
