#drink gate

[mspainttaz]

i had a crush on my best friend when i was ten and so when she made a concoction of pepsi that had been open on the table for 2 days, milk, bbq sauce, chocolate syrup and Tabasco sauce, i chugged it like a champ. i feel your pain. (it tasted, weirdly, of coffee)

i can kinda see how that would be “coffee” esque anon but also Wow. ten year old you was ready to die for their crush

[mspainttaz]

Dude. Dude. That literally can not be worth it. Dont drink that. You are gonna make yourself sick.

it tasted like the distinct ingredients but Sharp somehow. not the worst ive ever had. however it didnt register on my tongue as edible so thats bad

[mspainttaz]

Let me paint you a Christmas story, ‘twas the night be for Christmas and all through the house, there were giggles and snickers from children running about. You see this isn’t just any Christmas oh no, this was the one where there would be no “ho ho”s. For the smallest of the children, just seven at most, had a plan cooking up, for something he could boast. He himself, the smallest and craziest, would catch old Saint Nick whilst being his laziest. (1/4)

For the little one knew that the old man can’t resist, not a cookie nor drink clutched betwixt his gloved fist. So a brew he concocted, of nice warm hot cocoa, but what he added next would make you scream “Oh No!” See he took down some bottles, of ingredients sinister, unknowing planning the poisoning of his sister. He mixed in some soy sauce, and gave it a swirl, then poured in globs of hot sauce, and watched the liquid death whirl. (2/4)

His plan it seemed was to sleep quite sound, and wait for the screams of horror when Santa came round. For the little boy knew that the man would drink up, and would choke and sputter before finishing his cup. He hoped all the racket would make enough noise, so he could be caught delivering toys. The little boy didn’t know however, that his big sister dear had a brain made of feathers. (¾)

She hadn’t realized what his plan had been about, and when she drank a sip of the brew, she did give a shout. For the nasty food crime I’m mentioning here, was horrible and awful and made me shed tears. It was so fucking nasty and I almost threw up, right back into that very cursed cup. So if ever a food crime is cringed at tonight, let it be this hot chocolate that gave me a fright. (4/4)

TLDR: My seven year old brother tried to poison Santa with a hot chocolate/hot sauce/soy sauce mix and I got caught in the crossfire. If you want to taste deaths shits please try a cup. Also sorry about the rhyme scheme I tried my best ;-; I’m still in pain from that drink (5/4)

merry christmas catladymarie, what an incredible tale! your brother has given you the gift of a drink you will Absolutely Never Forget

[mspainttaz]

dni banner that says "this post causes heartburn"

[mspainttaz]

since your brand is Bad Drinks(tm), I feel like I should tell you this: when i was like 10 i went to my friends house and we made a Horrible Drink from a can of pepsi max that had been open in a shed for a day, milk, a teabag and soy sauce. It tasted, weirdly, of coffee.

huh im going to cry now trying to imagine this, thank you

[mspainttaz]

dont put apple juice in your coke. its gross.

[mspainttaz]

okay so story time: i live in brisbane australia (gday mate etc etc etc) and it gets so hot sometimes that the peanut butter melts if u put it in the pantry. long story short i drank an entire 450 g jar of peanut butter. 11/10 would do it again

ive thought about this ask more times than i care to admit these past few months, but its finally time for you to be free Australian pb anon

[mspainttaz]

hm. just went through your entire drinkgate tag because i didn’t know what it was. it is, in fact, wretched. thank you

wretched is a great word for it