Light as an Uber driver:
Light, smiling perfectly: “Don’t worry, I know all the shortcuts.”
GPS: “Recalculating.”
Light, through gritted teeth: “Shut. Up.”
Light: “I always follow the law.”
proceeds to go 90 mph in a school zone.
Passenger: “Wow, you’re really polite.”
Light (internally): Your full name, face, and address. All mine now.














