#drop them

[pushingpesticides]

Hey guys hey guys hey. Just because someone that’s been accused of abuse is a person you like that doesn’t mean it’s not true and invalidating the statements of the victims is still bad. Just because you’ve been abused in certain ways doesn’t mean other people can’t call different kinds of abuse what they are. May every single abuser who lives do so with the knowledge that they will not have peace as long as they are alive

[omensvessel]

i just dropped two long-term (neurotypical) “best” friends of mine because apparently they thought our friendships were incredibly toxic from my end and they were deeply unhappy to the point where they ghosted me for months, without ever telling me what i did wrong until the last fucking second

(which, by the way, only ONE of the two actually said what they thought went wrong. the other just said “i don’t even think you know why the friendship was toxic” NO FUCKING SHIT. YOU DIDNT TELL ME?)

so i guess another hot take of mine is that if you’re unhappy with something i’m doing but you won’t tell me, i didn’t fucking do anything wrong and i will not be held accountable for something that made you upset but you didn’t tell me about

i am not a mind reader. i cannot know something that YOU are feeling unless you tell me. if you won’t do that and still complain that the friendship was toxic, you are immature as fuck and do not deserve my time of day, or anyone’s for that matter

i told both of them that i am autistic and need to be told explicitly when i’m doing something that bothers them. if they don’t communicate, i’m not the one at fault. if they’re wishy-washy in the way they tell me (as in, not literally “xyz that you’re doing makes me uncomfortable/upset/unhappy. please stop”), i will not understand it and therefore won’t correct it

MULTIPLE other friends i’ve had have told me when i fuck up. i take accountability for it. i apologise, i fix my damn behaviour, and i make sure that the way i fixed it is okay with them. if it’s not, i repeat that until i get it right. those friendships have lasted from ages 7, 8, 9 or younger. they’re neurodivergent like me. they understand that communication is something you have to fucking do if you value a relationship

for ALL of my friendships, i have been open when i’m made upset by something that the person did. only SOME of my friends had corrected their mistakes. like for example when one of the friends mentioned here LITERALLY CHOKED ME UNTIL I NEARLY FAINTED, i told him “that was not fucking okay. do not ever put your hands or arms near my neck again”. did he listen? no, he did it again a few days later.

and when i told my other friends “(name) did this to me. i do not feel safe around him, and i feel extremely uncomfortable knowing that all my friends are close with him. i’m not asking you to stop being friends with him, but can we please avoid him when we’re hanging out?” all of them EXCEPT the other friend i mentioned in the beginning agreed to do that for me. because they are good friends. and they support me, and i support them. i have dropped and limited contact with long-term friends because they made my other friends uncomfortable. because that’s what good friends do.

you cannot expect your friends to know every thought and feeling that goes through your head. i am sick to fucking death of being blamed for mistakes THAT I WAS NOT MADE AWARE OF.

if you can’t tell your “friend” that they’re doing something that upsets you, you shouldn’t have deep relationships. it’s shitty fucking behaviour and you will lose friends over it.

i am so fucking glad i’m out of high school but i know most adults cant fucking communicate either so just fuck me i guess

[virtualdimensionsss]

[bronzebueckers]

THEY GATE KEEPING THOSE RIKE AND PAIGE PRACTICE PHOTOS FROM US

[cat-in-a-mech-suit]

The genderfluid-fem-nonbinary-transmasc-but-not-a-man to Male pipeline is real

[ace-culture-is]

Ace culture is coming out to your best friend and having them reply "I hope you aren't because this way you will never find true love". Like wow, okay, thanks for repaying all the trust I had in you with such "sweet" words🙂

[theinvisiblemuseum]

what are y’alls best tunnel songs this is not a request it’s an order