“They told me you could talk.”

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“They told me you could talk.”
Strange Cookies
Recently our very own Agent Em consumed some odd cookies she claims Cap gave to her, yet he denies this. The cookies were decorated with HYDRA logos, so we don’t need a genius to figure out what happened.
Currently Agent Em is jumping around Avengers tower, and at the moment is throwing confetti all over Thor, she appears jumpy, energetic and pretty high... Bruce happens to be investigating any more side effects, but as for now, if you see a HYDRA decorated cookie, please do NOT eat it.
-Post by Natasha Romanoff
The whumpee that can’t stop sleeping. They’re always exhausted and the whumper is always delighted to wake them. They sit up blearly eyed with a husky voice, confused as ever.... so drowsy they can’t be bothered to not behave. So pliable. So lovely.
Maul'st laughed, almost manically, glancing down at his old friend, who was struggling to get off the floor.
hehe my dad just sent around a forum to my whole family like aunts cousins uncles etc asking what they want for christmas dinner like different meats then an other section and i chose that and typed the blood of my enemies. im such a badass.
good Lord have mercy on my soul
so this super attractive (downright sexy) guy from work invited me to hang out on saturday (he was super drunk) but we had fun and have been talking since (this guy is like 7 times out of my league) and he is socially awkward but gorgeous so that makes it like 12 times better (he's the exact same type of awkward as me omg perf) and was telling me how he used to workout a bunch and have a super great body (um ok he has a super great body now wat) THEN PROCEEDED TO SEND ME A SHIRTLESS PICTURE FROM "a while ago" (obvi not that long ago b/c he still looks gr9) NO FUCK YOU I HATE YOU YOU HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING
I feel weird. I'm so overtired. I can't even.