Lost in the (stupid) sauce (Caine x reader)
Age rating: General audiences (I think)
Tags: Gender neutral reader, probably OOC, drunk Caine, cuddles, you pet Caine, falling asleep together, not beta we abstract like Kaufmo
Words: 983
Premise: reader brings back stupid sauce from the Spudsy's adventure and Caine accidentally ingested some (original idea by @thegoopygoober)
Warnings: mention of addiction, substance use
Bee divider by @kyriettes
After taking over Ragatha's shift at Spudsy's at the request of Gangle since Ragatha was out of commission, you work with Zooble in assembling the absolutely insane amount of burgers ordered for the Gloink queen and all of her children.
You couldn't help but wonder what had gotten your ragdoll friend intoxicated... it couldn't be the burgers themselves, right? No, that'd be absurd even for Caine's insane ideas. You then remembered overhearing a customer talking about 'stupid sauce' and how they were addicted to it. Was that what it was? It would make sense considering Ragatha's state being something similar to being drunk or high.
The thought of something as mundane as sauce being addictive had you even more curious about it. How did it taste? Was the effect stronger the more you ingested? What did it really feel like? Why the heck would Caine include something like this? You considered putting some on your fingertip and giving it a taste, but stopped yourself when you remembered that you have no idea how potent this stuff might be and you have a job to do.
Maybe you could just stuff a bottle of the stuff into your hammer-space pocket when your shift is over, no one will notice.
The last thing you remember before now was slipping a tub of stupid sauce into your pocket, now you're stumbling around the Big Top with the bottle of pink stuff in your grasp. Everyone is already in bed, so it's totally quiet as you chuckle lazily to yourself at nothing.
"Ah! It's you! What are you doing up this late, my silly spinning sausage?" Calls the familiar grandiose voice of Caine as he pops into existence a few feet above you, giving you a glance up and down.
You stare back up at him, unfocused eyes blinking slowly out of sync. "Heheee... you're a silly sausage..!" You retort with a laugh as you struggle to stand up straight. "You with your big ol' eyes..."
Caine seems... perplexed, which doesn't happen often, but then he sees the bottle in your hand and lets out a soft tut. "Oh, you! You weren't supposed to bring that back from Spudsy's!" He tells you as he wiggles his index at you and floats down to extend a hand. "Come on, hand it over and we'll get you to bed ASAP!"
Instinctively you clutch the sauce to your chest and shake your head, sticking your tongue out to your ringmaster before turning your head away. "Nuh-uh! Its... its mine! You can't have any!" You object with a pout, your clumsy steps barely holding you up as you step backwards.
Forgetting he can just snap the stimulant out of existence, Caine's upper teeth crease into angry eyebrows as he flys down to grab the stupid sauce but you have it in a vice grip. "The sooner you give it over, the sooner we can-" He grips a little too hard onto the digital plastic and squeezes some of the sauce directly into his giant mouth-face which causes him to let go and fly backwards slightly with a dramatic gag.
He seems to swallow the substance as he shakes his head with a cartoony babble, his eyes gloss over slightly before his pupils become the size of dinner plates and his limbs slack. "Woahwoaohhh... WOWOWIE! That is a nice feeling!" He hics as he becomes loopy, his hovering becoming a bit uneven.
You blink, grinning drunkly as you stare at him. "Oooo... Caine's druuuunk!" You tease as you poke his chest, which gives a dog toy-like squeak. You have no idea why that's a thing to be proud of.
"Ah-ah! No, we... I need to get you back to bed, my buh... bumbling... bouncy bebop..!" The ringmaster persists as he floats closer, stumbling and landing into you with a thump before going limp over your shoulder. "OoOoo, warm..." He mumbles as he gently pats your back and chuckles.
Without thinking (not that you could think anyway) you return the touch by wrapping your arms around his waist, hugging him tightly to you. He's surprisingly squishy for a seemingly lifeless AI. Before you could say something, you heard a snap and you were both suddenly laying on your bed in basically the same position with Caine on top of you.
"Hnn... 's bed time." The AI mumbled into your neck, looking up at you as he rested his jaw on your chest. "You better go honk shoo mimimi soon... before... I do the same..." He stared at you with hazy vision as his eyes look like jelly resting on his tongue, "you're pretty from here... you humans are always so beautiful, and you... you like my adventures."
You meet his eyes after yawning, one of your hands coming up and laying it on top of his head to pet him. The light pressure has his upper jaw lowering over his eyes while his hat droops to the side like it was also drunk. He hums softly and you swear you can hear the faint sound of computer fans kicking up and whirring inside him, almost like his heart was racing or something.
Soon enough his teeth are closed and he's gone even more limp on top of you, going completely still to the point of not even 'breathing' (which is an idle thing his model does to seem more alive).
"Caine..?" You mutter as you poke his left canine, "you sleeping?"
No response. You take that as a yes.
Giggles escape you as you continue petting him, slowly relaxing until all motions on your end stop and you fall soundly asleep.
Maybe, if he'd allow it by the morning, you could do this again? It clearly relaxed both of you in the end so maybe it wasn't so bad... in moderation, obviously. You wouldn't want to get addicted, would you?
Had a lot of fun writing this one! I need to get used to x reader again if you couldn't tell
