@mothdustmouth reminded me of the awesomeness of drunktuesdays. So enjoy these smutty classics. 🥰 I did not include the porniest of the porn because it’s not my thing but it is here so enjoy that too! 😉
anything, anything | 5.2K
Stiles wakes up in Derek’s bed in a world where they’re married now, and Derek keeps leaving the room every time he tries to have a conversation about how this happened, since they weren’t even dating.
Patterns of Intention | 17K
Derek looked like the stuff of his deepest fantasies. His shirt was rumpled where Stiles had his hands in it, and he was breathing hard as well, chest heaving. His eyes—his eyes were glazed over and he looked stunned, like he’d been—like Stiles had—
“No,” Stiles said, blood draining from his face. The word was croaky and felt like it had to be wrenched out of his chest. “God, no.”
Stiles is very aware that his twin is way more attractive and confident than he is, EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE IDENTICAL, and he always ends up with the hotter significant others and more friends and Stiles guesses that's why he's attracted to the pack at first, because it's something that's just his, not his twin's too. But of course, Stiles's twin gets bit and now he's part of Derek's pack, and Derek doesn't snap at him like he snaps at Stiles, never slams him into things, fucking FIGURES, STILES'S TWIN GETS EVERYTHIIIIIIIING.”
How To Be a Normal Person | 8.3K
Instead he sits for a moment, looking at the empty search box, fingers on the home row the way his mother taught him. He thinks about that, and about the hole in the wall he’d lived with for so long, and the way Isaac had grinned at him last night when he’d finally gotten around to plugging the refrigerator in.
He finds himself typing in, “how to be a normal person.”
all you're giving me is friction | 4.7K | Mature
we are tangled | 5.7K | Teen
"Derek was at your house?" "For like ten seconds," Stiles said. "I'd say it was weird, but is anything about Derek ever not weird?"
He should have expected this. He knew it, knew Stiles was always in this temporarily. Derek knew it wasn't forever. The only thing that's surprising is that Stiles is lying about it.
bigger, longer and uncut | 4.9K
Derek walks away, because he’s learned that sometimes he’s never going to be able to join in on the joke, and this conversation is just making him have more questions. Like, why is Stiles so obsessed? Is he grossed out by uncut cocks or does he like them? Is Stiles cut? His face starts heating up the way it always does when he starts thinking about Stiles like that and he ducks into the shower, manfully ignoring the new round of laughter from downstairs.
(303): apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him…
the fortress round my heart | 8.2K
Cora wants to go on a road trip. “Fuck this place,” she says vehemently. “Fuck this toxic hellhole cesspit.”
Derek has nothing left, can’t disagree with her, so they go.
