#dsaf fanfics

[wario-speedwagon]

Hey y'all! I write sometimes, primarily DSaF, here's my AO3 if you're interested!

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Otherwise, I have some fics posted directly on tumblr too beneath the cut :]

Dave and Old Sport Adopt a Kid (ongoing)

-fluff, found family, comedy, angst undertones, DSAF 2 setting

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 (Newest as of 5/12/2024)

Hot Chocolate

-angst, hurt/comfort/no comfort, trauma, body horror, gore, pre-DSAF backstory setting

Jack's Squad Has UNO Night

-comedy, fluff, post-DSAF 3 True Ending setting (spoiler warning), happier AU

[ouijathicc]

PHONE DAVE REWRITTEN PROLOGUE

The Saferoom smelled of iron.

A scent so oppressive and unbearable even a man with no nose like Peter had to turn away.

His plan had succeeded, the desperate bid to get rid of the aubergine killer once and for all, it had been simple once he had fired his other employee, although even now he wondered why the man had simply left.

Peter had never thought it would get to this point, that he’d actually KILL a man, even one as sickening as this.

Even when the blood of all the aubergine’s victims was still warm, it was hard to stop hearing the screams.

Peter had not expected screams, maybe he should have, but he had assumed that the aubergine would go down treating even death as just another joke. How he wished that were true. If Dave had joked as he died it would have been easy to push aside in his mind, Dave wasn’t human, he wasn’t hurting.

Peter sat down in front of the body. Dave was moving, staring at him, but he couldn’t stand, the suit was too heavy.

Men came into the room to drag Peter away and all the thoughts he had been holding back spilled out.

“WAIT! DON’T SCRAP ME!!!”

“Give us one reason not to.”

“S-see that body? That’s Dave Miller, the Kiddie Strangler.”

There is a moment of silence.

“Good work Scott, you will be receiving a promotion for this.”

“Good now just let me seal-“

“Grab the body, oh and that other one, the janitor he buried in the parking lot.”

“Wait wh- NO! NO NO NO!!! You can’t!!!” Peter watches in horror as the corpse that had just been in front of him was dragged out and shoved to the back of a truck, followed by the recently buried Jimbo.

“If you send-“ Peter is cut off when he too is shoved in the back of the truck, the door closes to leave him in darkness.

…

“W’s y’rrr br’thr…” a voice slurs from in the truck, Peter looks around, eyes landing on Dave’s corpse.

“What?”

“Reed.”

Reed… that had been the name his employee had identified himself by.

“Reed… Reed is my brother?” Peter asked with some skepticism. The corpse just stares at him, offering no answer. It was a long drive after that.

…

100 feet of stolid steel plating composing a large metal cylinder in the back of the Scott Memorial Machine, in the metal a clear face can be seen, looking as if it were asleep, but could wake at any moment.

Peter stared up at the face in something like awe, or maybe terror.

He had seen Jimbo run through, it took mere minutes.

1000 phones in a single afternoon. That’s what the man had said. It made no sense. Who would ever… need so many? Why was the machine so big?

He looked down at his name tag. He owned it now. The phone who had never wanted to send a single person to the factory now owned all of it.

It had taken hours to strip Dave from the suit, hours more to recover him after h tried to run, but now he was tied down, screaming and crying for any mercy. He deserved none, they all knew that. But they also all knew Peter was a bleeding heart.

There is a phone on the table in front of Peter, purple with white accents. Metal. Heavy. He looks up in confusion at the employees. His employees.

“Sorry sir, it’s the last one in stock. A lot of people have been getting sent in lately and we haven’t had a chance.”

“But it’s metal… it’ll be so heavy-“

“He deserves worse, plus we used to make metal phones back in the day all the time.”

“I… ok… just… put it in the machine and get it started.”

As commanded the employees shoves the phone into a chute, and gives a thumbs up to another employee who throws Dave into the pit.

The same horrible metallic screeches as he had once heard with the departed Jimbo are present again. But louder. Far louder. He hears screams in the machine, it sounds like Dave is trying with all his might to escape.

Peter winces, it’s a hard sound to hear…

Because of all the attempts at escape, what normally takes 3 minutes to complete now took 45 minutes. 45 minutes of Dave screaming and crying in the machine, begging to be let out.

At long last a phone actually comes out of the machine.

Peter stares down with caution, he knows what Dave is like. He wouldn’t be shocked if he went right back to his old self.

The phone sits up, shaking and nearly falling over a few times.

There’s just so much wrong with this phone.

The metallic purple head is pulling the body down, causing him to be constantly on the verge of losing balance. There seems to be an area in the midsection that is barely more than a spine with skin wrapped around it. His entire body has shrunk like clothing in the wash, phones have a height cap. He violated it and the machine went overboard correcting it, he seems to be just observing, silently staring up at Peter.

“Hello? Hello? Hello?” The sound of a voice box pierces the air… what? “I am Model 51_2. How may I be of service?”

[ouijathicc]

Sins of the Father (A DSAF Story)

(Disclaimer: You got Dave helping Jack with a bullet wound, now I give you Jack helping Dave with body horror. It’ll make sense later. Takes place in the second game. What if Dave found the tapes?

This is incredibly dark and very angsty, also a bit of a character study for all characters involved.

Content warning for swearing, alcoholism, violence, body horror, referenced abuse, and a lot or referenced character death.

Also spoilers, mostly for the tapes.)

Dave dug through the files in the office with a wide grin on his face. He didn’t exactly know what he was looking for, but he could always find something to entertain himself in the files. Usually a photo from one of the court cases he could post around the restaurant or an annoying recording he could make one of the animatronics play.

On this particular day he found a couple cassette tapes inscribed with the word “Joy”. 

The tapes had an ominous feel to them, but surely they can’t be that bad, plus if they are, he could just use them to traumatize the children in the restaurant! Sure it doesn’t beat killing them, but a little chaos never fails to make phoney scream.

Dave inserts the tapes into his old cassette player. Whatever this is, it’ll be great.

.

.

.

Jack comes into work 3 hours late. He didn’t sleep in, or sleep at all, he just didn’t want to come. He had been having a very good time not being at work dealing with annoying children, his even more annoying boss, and somehow more still annoying purple coworker. Unfortunately his contract meant that his previously mentioned annoying boss could call the police if he didn’t turn up for work.

He was having a lot of fun rampaging through the streets on a ton of cocaine. Sad it had to end so soon.

Jack came to the Saferoom (after having been yelled at by Phone Guy for 15 minutes straight for being late.), not intending to actually do his job. 

When he entered the room, the energy was far different from every other time he had done so before, and it wasn’t hard to tell why.

Unlike every other time Jack had entered the Saferoom, Dave hadn’t been there to loudly greet him.

For a moment Jack wondered if Dave has skipped. He, unlike Jack, could do so. Legally the man didn’t exist and while Jack didn’t either, Dave left even less of a paper trail than him, on top of that Jack could easily pass as a regular human if need be, but it’s kinda hard to tell the cops that they are looking for a large, long necked, bright purple, reptilian, crackhead with a New York accent.

Jack did however notice his “friendly” neighbourhood aubergine curled up in the corner. He wasn’t crying, but he was clearly upset.

Dave was upset quite often for an array of equally stupid reasons, but when he was upset he was usually melodramatic and exaggerated his feelings greatly.

Now he was acting uncharacteristically quiet and truly miserable.

Jack, noting the personality shift, rushes to his friend’s side.

Dave doesn’t respond, no matter how much Jack tries to snap him out of his trance, he just stares down at the cassette player in his lap.

After 10 minutes of silence Dave finally seems to realize Jack is there as the orange man stands up to leave as Dave was creeping him out in a new and horrifying way from his usual behaviour.

Noticing Jack, Dave lunges at the smaller, makeup caked man, and both fall to the floor. Dave glares at him for a moment, seemingly thinking Jack is someone else.

When Dave realizes it’s Jack, he immediately gets off, looking horrified. “Fuck… shit… sorry.”

“Are you ok?” Jack asks, despite the answer being more than obvious to the both of them.

“Can’t say I am, Old Sport.” 

“Is it something to do with that cassette-“ Dave throws the cassette player at the wall, it shatters on impact. “-player……….”

“Heh… w-what cassette player. I don’t even know what that is.” Dave says, before bursting into laughter, which quickly transitions to crying.

Jack checks the wreckage of the old cassette player, seeing the now shattered Joy tape inside. Oh. Jack had listened to those tapes, and had been tempted to show Dave a long time ago, to remove his allegiance to Henry, but realized it would be pointless as Henry isn’t even around anymore and it’d just hurt Dave, so he buried them deeper in the filing cabinet.

“Henry?” Jack asks, already knowing the answer.

“H-he took my FUCKING organs Jack! HE KNOCKED ME OUT AND STOLE MY FUCKING ORGANS!!!!!” Dave yells through his tears. “I thought I could trust him…” he whispers.

“Henry is gone now. He can’t do that anymore.”

“THATS THE FUCKING PROBLEM!!! HE’S GONE NOW! HE’S BEEN GONE FOR YEARS AND I’VE BEEN FOLLOWING HIS LEGACY, DOING EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTED WHEN HE NEVER EVEN CARED ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!! I can’t even actually yell at him because he’s fucking dead! He got away with all of it…….”

“Then stop.”

“I CAN’T JUST FUCKING STOP! He has me fucking trained Jack. I don’t even know what I can do if it doesn’t involve him and what he wanted. Plus if I don’t destroy Freddy’s what DO I do? Where do I go? Do I even have a purpose?”

“Dave… you need to calm down. Listen to my voice. Just breathe.” Jack knows he can’t talk to Dave when he is like this, so he needs the man to calm down. Unfortunately this seems to have an opposite effect.

Dave practically runs over to table in the room. On it is a box cutter. His breathing is far too fast, and the panic is clear on his face.

Jack is unsure what’s about to happen until Dave opens up his shirt.

The orange man tries to stop him, he’s usually stronger than Dave, but in this adrenaline filled panicked state Dave manages to throw him off. Jack watches as Dave slices himself open.

Blood pours out of the wound as Dave grabs his scaly skin and pulls it apart, fully exposing his insides, or lack thereof. It’s a strange sight. Dave is missing all of his organs aside from his intestines, but everything seemed to be functioning normally, even the blood seemed to be flowing through nonexistent veins, with a nonexistent heart.

Dave looks down in horror at his empty body, and shoves his own hands in, trying to find some way to prove to himself it’s not true, hoping he’ll touch something. He finds nothing.

In his distraction Jack manages to rip the knife from his hands, the tape mentions taking parts of his brain too, and Jack knows he’ll check there next if he lets him. He jumps into action, ripping Dave’s hands out o his own body and closing up the scaley flesh as best as he can.

He sees a roll of duct tape laying on the table, he quickly grabs it and uses it to close the wound. It’s not a good, or elegant solution, but Dave won’t die.

“Dave, it’s true, you don’t have any organs. But what does it matter really, you’re still working fine.”

“I-it’s not about that. It’s about how… how… he… how he… tricked me. I don’t care that they’re gone… I just care that he took them.” Dave slides down onto the ground, curled up once again. 

Jack picks Dave up, and rocks him slightly the same way he used to do with his sister when she cried.

“How about we get your organs back? I’m sure he kept them somewhere. I’m not sure they’ll go in you the way they were before, but at least you’ll have them back so you won’t feel like he stole them from you anymore.”

Dave looks up at him. “I wouldn’t know where to look… I remember his operation room in his old house, but I was never allowed in, and I doubt he’d just keep my organs loose in there.”

“Maybe there’s a secret room off that?”

“Well I did always feel like the floor had too much of an echo, but Henry always told me there was no basement. He must have been lying.”

“I’ll drive you up there, we can trash the place while we’re there.”

Dave nods slowly, clearly not exactly cheered up or anything, but definitely sure of what he wants to do.

.

.

.

The drive to Reno was long, and gave a lot of time for introspection.

Jack was driving his best friend to his childhood home so he could put his organs back in his body because his father figure removed them as part of an experiment he was never aware of. His friend’s father just so happened to have also murdered Jack’s own sister, and left Jack himself to slowly die. Definitely something if you told him he’d be doing now even days before his death, he would have socked you in the face.

It also brought up questions. For instance how did Dave’s soul just… decide to come back. He wished he knew that was an option sooner rather than sacrificing his own to come back to life with the conditions that he had to free all the souls. Dave had basically accidentally found immortality simply so that he could stay with his father. Which would be wholesome, uncharacteristically so for his lizard-esque friend, if not for his father being Henry.

Part of him was happy Dave had come back, his presence helped to make Jack’s not-life more bearable despite how annoying he could be. The more rational part knew that if Dave had just let himself die back then, he would be better off. Dave was innocent back then despite all the tragedy he had already endured in his life, if he’d died then, chances were he’d already be having his happiest day. Although now it was likely too late.

Fortunately for Jack’s mind, they soon reached their location. It was an old house behind Fredbear’s Family Diner.

The building brought back bad memories for both of them. Jack remembered his sister’s death and his own, Dave remembered all the many times he’d died in a springlock suit, and of course both remembered Henry.

The house was long abandoned, but the door had been sealed shut, Henry’s death has been seen as a murder and the crime scene was never opened to the public, everyone had simply forgotten by now.

Jack wedged the door open with a crowbar for Dave, and smashed in a window for himself, an old habit of his that he’d never managed to break.

The house was broken down but Jack could still see remnants of what once was in the wreckage. Cigarettes littered the floor, overflowing from ashtrays. The walls and floors were marked with scratches that uncomfortably resembled Dave’s claws but slightly smaller. The walls were dented as if someone had hit them.

Dave froze up when he saw the state of the house. It seemed with his delusions about who Henry was now gone, he had started to remember how the man actually treated him when he had taken him in in his teenaged years, and how this continued well into adulthood.

He remembered the abuse he endured in Henry’s ‘lessons’. How Henry had blinded his eye and scarred his back and Dave had never seen this as strange. After all, Dave had never had a family, so how would he know that they weren’t supposed to be this way?

Dave retreated back to the car and took a beer bottle from the trunk. He couldn’t do this sober.

The two oddly coloured men approached the operation room, what it had originally been was unknown.

Both were uncomfortable when they saw the room despite neither having ever seen it before.

It didn’t take long to find a hatch under a dresser the two shoved over, and they descended into the basement.

It was larger than expected, and quite cluttered, full of jars of organs, belonging to various people, papers covered every surface detailing some of Henry’s many theories, and there were overflowing piles of more tapes, ones neither wanted to listen to.

They found Dave’s organs in purple lidded jars. 

They most definitely were not human organs which caused even more clear discomfort. 

No one had ever known what Dave was, not even Dave himself. He had always wanted to believe he was human despite everything. This seemed to confirm that even beneath his aubergine surface he still wasn’t human.

Neither said anything about this however, and neither wanted to address it, Dave simply opened up the jars and put his organs back in how he could only assume they were supposed to go, as he had never seen them before now and didn’t know his own anatomy. He used some leftover thread from the operation room to stitch his organs back in place. They amazingly started working again as if they’d never been gone.

The two of them set to destroying the house, breaking anything that could be broken, drinking the whole time.

Eventually it became clear to even an alcoholic like Jack that Dave was drinking way too much.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Jack asks, trying to take the bottle away from Dave.

“Naaaaaahhhhh… I baaaaarelyyyy feeeeeeelllll iiiiiit……….” Dave slurs, before downing the whole bottle and throwing it on the ground and retrieving another one. “Thiiiiiiisss oneeeesss foooooorrr yaaaaa daaaaad… yaaa pieceeeee offffffff shiiiiiiitttt. Fuuuuuck yaaaaaaa! Yeeeeeerrrr nooootttt myyyyy daaaaad anymoreeeee.” Dave toasts, before downing half of the bottle. “Yaaa ruineeeeed myyyyyy liiiiifeee anddddd noooooowww yeeeeerrr deaaaad andddd nooooooooobodyyyyyy willllll eeeeeeverrrrrr rememberrrrr yaaaaaaa! Sooooo haaaaaahhhhh… I stiiiiiiiiillll gettt the laaaaaaasssst laughhhhh…” he asks drunkenly and then drinks the rest, throwing it at a picture of Henry.

“Ok now that’s definitely enough.” Jack says.

Dave still doesn’t listen and goes out to the car to retrieve another beer and a canister of gasoline which he starts using to douse first the diner, and then the house itself before lighting up a cigarette and throwing it into the puddle when he finished it.

“Dave… DAVE! DAVE THE BUILDING IS ON FIRE GET THE FUCK OUT!” Dave doesn’t listen and can’t be dragged out no matter how hard he tries. “WILLIAM AFTON GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS BUILDING BEFORE YOU FUCKING DIE!!!!!!!!!”

“Whaaaaatssss theeee pooooooointtttt… I’mmmm alreaaaadyyyyy deaaaaaddddddd, pluuuuuusss eveeeeennnnn iffffff I waaaaaaassssn’ttttttt, I doooooonnnn’ haaaaaaveeeeee muuuuuuchhhh toooooo liveeeee forrrrr…” Dave says, responding to the use of his real name, but not even seeming to register that Jack had said it.

“Look, life sucks. That’s true. Everyone wishes it wasn’t like this all the damn time. But burning yourself alive in your childhood home isn’t going to change anything!!!” Jack says, finally managing to pick Dave up bridal style and carry him out of the house. 

Jack places his friend in the passengers seat of the car, and then gets in himself. Sure driving in the drunken state Jack himself is in is not responsible, but he’s never been a responsible man and never would be.

Jack starts the long drive back to Bakersfield. 

About half an hour later, maybe less, Dave started crying, sobbing about everything that had been done to him, and what Henry had turned him into.

10 minutes later, he fell asleep on Jack’s shoulder.

.

.

.

When Jack woke up, his first thoughts were of his horrible hangover, his seconds of the night before, and then his third of Dave’s sudden disappearance from where he had been placed the night before.

He panicked when he noticed the aubergine was gone, jumping out of bed and running out of his room to find Dave in the kitchen, smoking.

Jack breathed a sigh of relief, Dave wouldn’t have been able to survive on his own after everything that had happened.

After his initial relief, a feeling of awkwardness filled the room. “So uhhh…. Hi.”

“…Hello.” Dave replies, just as awkwardly as Jack.

Neither one says anything for 3 minutes, neither knowing what should be said.

“Listen… Sport I-“

“Don’t worry about it, everyone makes drunken mistakes. In fact, I’d say some of mine definitely have a little arson beat.”

The room falls silent once more.

“…Do you ever think you’ll be able to move past what he did?”

“Do you think you’ll be able to move past what we did to you?”

Jack falls silent.

“Look Jack, I’m not as stupid as I look. I know who you are, and I also know what we did to you and your sister. It may have taken time, but I figured it out. The only thing I don’t get is why you haven’t tried to kill me yet.”

“…I always felt like he was the one calling the shots. I never knew how to feel about you. It didn’t feel like you wanted to be involved at all. Sure I still hated you for awhile, but when I heard the tape the first time… well I stopped blaming you entirely.”

“Well will you ever be able to recover from what Henry did with my assistance?”

“No… I don’t think I will.”

“Then that’s my answer too.”

The room once again goes quiet.

“What now?” Jack asks.

“Well part of me wants to spend the rest of my life undoing everything he worked for out of pure spite, but I know that it’d be a worse punishment to just let his memory die with me.”

“Yeah. The souls deserve to be free, and I’m going to try to do that… but Henry can rot wherever he ended up because I’m done with all his shit.”

“So I’m thinking I just want to spend the rest of my life hanging out with you. And maybe unfucking his fuckups along the way.”

“I think I’d like that.”

“Can we go in late today? I really don’t think I’m in the right headspace to go anywhere near a Freddy’s location today.”

“Neither do I.”

The room falls silent again.

“Jack I-”

“I know Dave… and I do too.”

(Note: Ok so this is probably both the darkest and overall best DSAF fics I’ve ever written, but I’d love to see what y’all think!)

[ouijathicc]

In Every Life DSAF AU (Please Read This)

After posting my headcanon about the DSAF 3 ending, I came up with a cool idea for a whole new AU.

The basic outline of this AU is that in every possible lifetime across every reincarnation, Dave and Jack will always end up falling in love for better or for worse.

My favourite thing about fandoms has always been the level of creativity. From artists creating beautiful works from designs that were original vague looking pixel art, to fanfiction writers who turn the story on its head to show us what could have been, AUs which take a story and make a new one out of it, OCs that I fall in love with just as much as the original characters. 

So I had an idea about this AU.

My idea was to rather than having it like my normal AUs where I just sorta write about it and nothing more really comes of it, what if instead I write a list of guidelines and prompts to get anyone whose interested to create their own section of this AU and have it be canon? 

I’d be pleasantly surprised if anyone but me and maybe some people I know personally contributed to the AU but on the off chance I can get someone to take part in this project I am posting this.

Do not read this or take part in this AU if you have not gotten the DSAF good ending because I don’t wanna give you spoilers.

Basic Idea:

To take part in the In Every Life AU all you have to do is create a story about or draw your own reincarnations for Dave and Jack and then tag it with “In Every Life DSAF” (You can also just create reincarnation stories or art about any other characters to contribute but the AU is predominantly about Davesport. I’d love to see some of those too)

Guidelines: 

The colour schemes of the two characters should be orange and purple. (It doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it to be)

No pedophilla, incest or otherwise toxic stuff because come on guys have morals.

If a story it can be any genre, fluff, angst, hurt comfort, yes even smut.

The reincarnations must be original.

Reincarnations of any member of the Flipside Squad or Henry can appear.

They do not have to be human, they can be anything you want.

This can take place at any time in history.

You can make up the setting entirely.

Your contribution to the AU can take place in any franchise you want, for instance, you could set it in the Owl House universe if you felt like it. The only rule about this is that the reincarnations still have to be original characters.

No being toxic to anyone.

Try not to limit yourself and believe in your own creativity.

Have fun!

I myself will be trying to contribute some content to this and I hope to see some of your guy’s stuff too! :D

Please reblog or comment if you’d like to participate <:

[ouijathicc]

Phone Dave Chapter 3: Steven

(Steven in this AU is such a bitch I love him)

Jack had been trying to interact with Dave for a week.

Neither had been successful.

The restaurant was in a back alley part of Reno, the customers who came were committed but with no employees… they had made all of $100 the entire week. 40% made up Dave’s paycheque for an hour.

The phone was a hard worker, for sure. Jack had never seen a phone who… well did half as much. But he couldn’t do everything.

There was only one option with how Freddy’s was run. Animatronics. They needed workers but couldn’t afford them until they had any actual income. Any animatronic would do.

And for that, they needed funding. It would be easy if they could just scavenge, but Freddys was so profitable that there wasn’t anywhere to get them.

The restaurant was doomed. That much was clear.

“Mr Kennedy… Mr Kennedy wake up…” Jack shot back into the present.

“WHUH!?!”

“Mr Kennedy, you zoned out like an idiot in the middle of my question.”

“Sorry… s’ good weed.”

The phone sighs in exasperation. “Sir, we have a member of upper management coming in an hour, get ready.”

Right… Dave set up a meeting without asking to try to get funding.

Jack stands up, scattering the empty pizza boxes, cigarette packs, blunts, and empty bottles that covered his body on the ground.

Dave suddenly makes a dialup noise.

“What?”

“MR KENNEDY WHAT THE H-HECK!?”

“Hmmm?”

“SIR… SIR YOU’RE-!”

“I’m what?”

“YOU’RE HECKING NAKED!!!!!”

“What I’m… SHIT FUCK I’M SORRY!!!” Jack says, quickly covering himself with one of the boxes.

“J-just be decent for when they get here.”

…

Jack walks out of the office in his usual horrible outfit of a green coat covered in sequins with both a tiger and leopard pattern on it, skinny jeans, cowboy boots, no shirt, and a terrible blonde wig that looks like it could have been alive.

Dave glares at him with no eyes.

“What I’m decent.”

“YOU’RE SHIRTLESS.”

“I’m wearing a tie.”

“ITS GOT HOT-WHEELS ON IT!!!”

“My finest garment.”

“AT LEAST STRAIGHTEN IT OUT!!!”

“Ahem.” Another Scott voice says. Both of them look to see Steven himself leaning against a doorway. “I hope I’m not interrupting… whatever this is.”

“Eeep! No- no worries Sir! We were just finishing our discussion… w-what brings the Company Representative himself down to our objectively terrible location?”

“Both of you used to work for me. Oh and my memory could be a LITTLE fuzzy but I also distinctly remember you both left me to burn to death in the wreckage of my location.”

“I… don’t remember that sorry. Quite fortunately I have yet to remember-“

“I don’t care.”

“Who pissed in your coffee…” Jack mutters. He remembers Steven not being a great boss but he seems to have gotten worse.

God he wished Steven died in the fire-

“I heard that.” The red phone states.

“Good because-“ Dave shoves his hand over Jack’s mouth.

“Hahahahaha… funny joke sir but let’s not insult the company representative. I’ll kill you if we go bankrupt Mr Kennedy.” He whispers the last part.

“Well. It’s good to see one of you has a brain. Now, are you going to keep bickering and wasting my valuable time or are we going to do something?”

“Y-yes sir I’ll show you around. Mr Kennedy will follow us and say nothing because I don’t want him to ruin everything and if I lock him in the janitorial closet he’d just escape.”

“I’m very slippery.”

“Right.” Steven sighs in exasperation.

…

“And here’s the Saferoom. You’ll notice a stark lack of blood! This is because we just opened, the quantity will rise.”

“Uhuh… and the moss.”

“It ate my cleaning supplies sir.”

“Seems like you hardly tried.”

“Uhhhhhh… moving on! This is the dining room. Mr Kennedy has employed… some kind of ghost? I didn’t question it because he didn’t question the lack of pay.”

“Ah yes, ghost Ronaldo. How predictable.”

“Y-yes sir! Next up we have the prize corner!”

Matt stares intently at the 3 of them.

“That concludes our viewing of the prize corner.”

“Thank god.” Steven says, seemingly actually genuinely thankful.

Understandable. Matt is horrifyingly.

“N-next is the dining area! It’s only got a few people right now… Mr Kennedy says they’re his friends. I think they are trash and are scaring away better customers.”

“Eh you just don’t get it Davey.” Jack says, throwing his arm over Dave’s shoulder.

“I barely tolerate this bizarre nickname you have given me in the first place, don’t push it by using a nickname of this nickname.”

“Davey~”

“Sleep lightly tonight Kennedy, sleep lightly.”

“If you two would stop having your lovers quarrel for 5 hecking minutes, thank you.”

“We are not lovers sir, I am the manager and he is the terrible owner, it would be highly unprofessional.”

“I’m technically your boss you know-“

“Rule one, you are not my boss, you are my friend. I do not see you as a friend however I will take this to mean that you are in fact not my boss, and are my subordinate.”

“COULD YOU TWO CONTINUE THE TOUR NOW!?”

“Don’t worry Phoney, I go this.” Jack says, cracking his knuckles.

“Oh no…”

Jack leads them down a hallway.

“On your left you’ll see our world class one of a kind Foxy Stripclub. There used to be more but they got closed. I was the reason they got closed. Now, as you’re both phones I’d bet-“

“Hahahahahaaaa Mr Kennedy is kidding. IGNORE HIM.”

“Well I mean you two could get up on stage yourselves if-“

“Pardon?” Steven questions.

“HAHAHA JUST KIDDING! One more word and you never walk again.”

“Anyway moving on from that is the ballpit! Music man has nested here.”

“Music man?” Steven asks, disgust in his artificial voice.

“He’s a beloved member of the Fazbender’s family.” Jack explains. “Next we have this little shitty playground full of tetanus that we stole from McDonalds.”

“It’s not that much tetanus… just enough to kill my annoying as heck “friend” here Mr Kennedy if he doesn’t shut the heck up.”

“Next is the bathrooms! They haven’t been cleaned since the 60s!”

“I… can smell that.” Steven says… phones can smell… noted… well I mean it’s not the first time.

“Ooookay… and our final stop… the stage! As you can see there are no animatronics! We need some. Can you please give us the money?”

A moment passes. “Hmmmm… no… no I can’t.”

“Oh that’s ok sir I-“ Dave starts.

“And why not?”

“See I don’t see this location being successful.”

“Dave’s a pretty good phone.”

“You know what… let’s be real here… IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW GOOD HE IS. This is a back alley location full of crackheads run by a pothead who’s recent twitter posts indicate-“

“Phoney do you follow my twitter?”

“-INDICATE THAT HE IS MAKING $100 A WEEK AND THINKS THATS GOOD. There has never been a less successful location.”

“What’s the harm in giving us one animatronic!? FUCKING BALLOON BOY! GIVE US FUCKING BALLOON BOY!!!”

“I wouldn’t give you a stick of gum.”

Jack glares at the phone, he glares back… then the door is kicked down by a man dressed as Candy a The Cat, he is carrying a gun.

“VENGEANCE FOR CANDY’S!!!!!!!!!” The man starts shooting at them, Jack manages to grab both phones’ arms and starts to bolt down the hallway to his office.

As soon as he makes it to the room he shuts and locks the door.

“Let me out there I can fight him.” Dave says.

“I’m not letting you get shot.”

“Life and Limb for the Fazbender’s Brand Mr Kennedy, that’s my motto.”

“I’m not letting you get shot.”

“I have a rocket launcher. I could-“ Steven starts

“I’m not letting you get shot.”

Jack starts to dig around in a large pile of takeout bags and rats until he finds a locker covered in Lightning McQueen stickers.

“Mr Kennedy, do you just really like race cars? Because if you do that’s fine but you could just admit that.”

“I will admit nothing.” Jack says as he starts inputting the code, getting it wrong.

“What… what’s your plan?” Steven says, still trying to sound intimidating.

Jack manages to open the safe and pulls out a gun. “I’m going to go get shot for your sorry asses.”

“Mr Kennedy I highly doubt-“

“Shhhhhhh.” Jack puts a finger over where Dave’s mouth should be.

“You know my mouth is under my dial r-?”

“Shhhhh… I’ll be back.” Jack blows a kiss at both phones and kicks down the door while yelling.

“He’s doomed right?” Steven asks.

“Oh yeah totally. Heck…”

…

“Hey bitches.” Jack says, entering the room covered in blood.

“Mr Kennedy! You’re… covered in blood.”

“It’s not mine don’t worry.”

“Did you ACTUALLY beat that Candy the Cat freak?” Steven asks.

“Didn’t kill him, it’s been like 12 years since I’ve killed anyone and I don’t want to break that streak.”

“But you did stop him?”

“Oh yeah I did.”

“Well… in light of recent developments I…. Ahem… have decided to grant you two unrestricted access to the condemned animatronic warehouse. It’s free… technically illegal… but hey you know the old Fazbender’s motto, Sweep it Under The Rug It’ll Probably Be Fine.”

…

The two wave as Steven gets into his car which Jack is totally not weird about.

“I see this not being the last time we interact. I’m sure you’ll be in dire need of help again.” Steven says. “Catch you on the Flipside.”

The man drives away, and Jack sighs and sits down in the parking lot.

“You know, I wouldn’t mind seeing him again Mr Kennedy.” Dave says.

“You know what Dave? Me neither.” Jack sighs, before passing out.

[ouijathicc]

Legacy Gets Anxiety Meds, Becomes Normal, And Turns The Flipside Into A Dating Sim

(Disclaimer: Another Ouija joke fic as it has been proven this is the only thing I can do consistently and I have way too many ideas for it. I will get back to my standard long serious fics but not yet.

So basically as you may or may not know, I’m pals with Iral the Great, we were joking in a GC about the Legacy face as well as an old rational I made that stated the eye dilation is because of adrenaline and Legacy must have chronic stress. And then I decided to make this fic.

Also the Flipside becomes a dating sim. I just thought that’d be funny.

Gets kinda weird.)

Legacy walked down the road, blasting people as he went with his sawed off shotgun. He had recently been to therapy… it didn’t help much, he’s pretty sure the therapist quit the profession. Rude.

Well anyway, one good thing came of his therapy.

He’d been prescribed “anxiety” meds!

He couldn’t wait to get high on those.

And no there’s absolutely no way those are regular anxiety meds, psh, how stupid would that be. The therapist has got to know he’d kill them for that!

Legacy arrived at the pharmacy and shot everyone ahead of him in line like the normal, normal man he is.

The clerk trembled as he handed Jacky-Boi his anxiety meds. Legacy shot him in the fucking face. No witnesses.

Legacy took one of the pills… he vibrated, had a seizure, and glowed…

Then his face suddenly turned back to normal.

“What the shit?” Jack asks, as he sits up after his fit.

Jack then remembers everything he did as Legacy and screams in frustration. “HOW THE FUCK DID I EVEN *GET* HOT SAUCE IN MY DICK!?!?!” He yells.

Jack stands up. “Well, Furry Dave is dead, I guess I still got Cabinet Man Dave.” Jack sighs. “He’s pissed at me, since I broke my promise and then blew up my sister’s soul.” He starts walking home to go try to get back with his ex who lives in an arcade machine.

.

.

.

Jack arrives at his arcade machine, after showering to wash off the gallons of blood that was covering his body of the last 3 months.

He knows he probably can’t go in the game because… well Dave is pretty pissed and might try to kill him.

So Jack just messes around with the machine for awhile using a tutorial he found on YouTube.

Once he finishes he starts to walk around the Flipside using his new anime boy avatar!

It takes 3 hours to find Flipside Dave, and as soon as he does the encounter starts.

“Well well well, look who’s back. I guess killing your sister and later ME wasn’t enough for you you just HAVE to come back and finish the jo- Wait why do you look like that? Why do you have hair? Why do *I* have hair!? WHAT DID YOU DO OLD FUCK?!” Dave yells through the machine.

Jack uses the joystick and the buttons to slowly type, fuck he should have attached a microphone or speaker or some shit.

“I took my anxiety meds and then turned the flipside into a dating sim.” He types.

“…What?”

“I killed Davetrap and you were the next best thing.” Jack types.

“Wow. Great to know I was you second choice after my rotting corpse in a fursuit.” Dave says.

Jack notices the relationship bar in the corner, already at -345, go down to -420. Nice. Wait no not nice. Jack presses the undo button, erasing Dave’s memory of what he said last.

Dave screams. “HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO TO ME! I FEEL LIKE I JUST DIED AGAIN! Wait… you turned this into a fucked up dating sim!? Why the fuck did you even do that?!?”

“When I regained my sanity because of my anxiety meds I knew I fucked up. I knew this was the only way we could talk without you killing me.” Jack wasn’t ENTIRELY lying. He had more motives than that for a DATING sim, but it was mostly true.

“So the first thing you do is stick me in a dating sim against my will, and not try to somehow bring back your sister’s soul you OBLITERATED.” Oh shit when did Dave get SMART.

“I don’t know how to do that. And I knew I’d probably have to reconcile with you first. Maybe you could help me.” Jack types. Holy shit the relationship bar went UP. By 3 points but still.

“But wait… why do I have a… relationship bar??? Yeah I can see that by the way. I can see you too. Why did you choose a dating sim of all things to put me in?”

“I don’t know. It was the shortest tutorial?” Jack smiles awkwardly.

“So rather than putting me in any other kind of game, which you apparently could do, you stick me in a girly anime dating sim with a relationship bar, a mood metre and fucking cherry blossoms falling from the sky constantly?! Wait YOU BASTARD! YOU DON’T CARE AT ALL ABOUT WHAT YOU DID YOU JUST WANT TO-“ Jack resets.

“Ugh… that feeling again… the fuck is that.”

“Its the only type of game that didn’t have a battle menu.” Jack types.

“Well I guess that makes sense… my head hurts… You’re… doing that face again…” Jack freezes, and runs out of the room. “Hey where the fuck are you going!?” He looks in the mirror to see Dave is right, he is doing his Legacy face again…

Shit. He WAS enjoying having Dave at his mercy like that way too much. Ok, no more lying, and no more pressing reset. Jack takes another pill, and another for good measure, before re-entertaining the room.

“I’ve been lying to you. I stuck you in a dating sim because I was being selfish and wanted you back as quickly and easily as possible. I’ve been treating you like a regular game and that’s not fair to you.” He admits.

“No, it’s really not.” Ok shit, yeah, Dave is very mad at him. Relationship dropped sharply. He deserved that.

“I’m sorry Dave.”

“Not gonna cut it, Old Fuck.”

“Then what will?”

“I dunno, maybe STOPPING HIDING BEHIND YOUR ANIME BOY AVATAR AND HAVING AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION WITH ME!?”

Ok yeah, that makes sense. “You promise you won’t punch me?”

“I promise.” Dave says. Jack finally enters the machine, taking over his avatar’s body. He can still see all the dating sim stuff, but Dave is now back to his normal self, rather than the weird anime boy sprite.

“Ok, I’m here D-“ Dave immediately kicks Jack in the balls. “OW WHAT THE FUCK DAVE!?!?!?!”

“I didn’t punch you.” Dave says smugly.

“F-fine… I guess I deserved that.”

“You did. If this stupid dating sim allowed for any more than that I’d stab you.”

“…And I’d deserve that too.”

“Why’d you do it, Sport?”

“Do what?”

“All the kiddin killing, the lying, Dee-“

“Henry. He got in my head. I don’t know how. He convinced me I had to continue his legacy, and that killing your souls would set you free. It’s part of why I took out Davetrap too.”

“Look… Jack… I… I might be able to forgive you. But not yet. Just… give me time ok? And take me out of this fucking dating sim I keep choking on cherry blossoms. And I know I can’t die, but it still fucking hurts.”

“I know… I’m sorry I did this to you. The whole Dating Sim thing, treating you like a shitty video game, lying to you. I’ll take you out. You deserve better than this.”

“It’s a start.”

(Note: Ok I’m sorry this is so stupid. It ended up getting weirdly emotional and cringy. But whatever I’ll just write more meme fics to make up for my sins.)

[ouijathicc]

DSAF AU Ideas:

So sorry a new Phone Guy Dave AU section isn’t out yet, or more art (although I have decided generally what I want my Jack design to look like yey!). But being the bizarre AU obsessed being I am, I have decided to write out some ideas for AUs I might write or draw snippets of in the future. Warning, a lot of these are angsty because I’m an angsty fuck and I’m shit at fluff for the most part, and refuse to write smut. I come originally from Undertale, and you all should know how many AUs that Fandom had, it shaped my development in that regard, as I love AUs.

Severed Head AU: Like PG!Dave, this takes place in the DSAF bad route! After Jack leaves Dave repossesses his own severed head and goes on a magical adventure called spiralling depression because the love of his life just fucking murdered him in cold blood. This AU is basically angst porn, and thus if I did write it at all, it wouldn’t be as much as some of the others.

Child AU: So all the characters are kids! That’s kinda it. Oh yea, Fredbear’s doesn’t exist but Fazbender’s does, because they are separate things. David Miller was Jack’s friend and he recently died which is a major conflict. Dave, never having met Henry, still goes by William and lives on the streets of the fictional town the story takes place in. All characters except the previously mentioned David Miller are alive, and thus Jack is not orange because y’all seem to forget something that he isn’t, it’s just makeup he uses to hide his decomposition. The story will take place in the 80s so buckle in and expect it to be largely based on Stranger Things, because I was unfortunately not alive in the 80s. Dee is 7, Jack is 15, Dave/William is 15, David Miller was 13, Peter is 17, Steven is 17, Caroline in 17. This would be more in depth and plot based as well as my usual method for fanfics of make it up as I go, so you wouldn’t get very much very fast especially with school.

Rainworld AU: Seeing the fact I have recently posted a drawing of a slugcat, you may expect that I am indeed, into rainworld. This is a correct assumption. Jack would fill the role of the monk and Dee as the survivor because it makes sense in the context of the story that Jack is trying to find her plus monk is yellow so Jack being orange is not much of a stretch. Dave would be also a slugcat because I love slugcats, potentially a spearmaster, because they’re kinda purple and I think it would be interesting. However y’all would have to wait for me to finish the game and for the DLC to be out with the spearmaster. The story would feature little to no dialogue whatsoever, the characters would be referred to without names probably because slugcats don’t seem to have names as they don’t seem to be fully sapient so much as just highly intelligent with pack dynamics. Henry might be an iterator because it fits him better than a slugcat and from what I’ve heart of Five Pebbles despite not meeting the guy yet, yea he’s a Henry. Regardless I’d still try to get their personalities across as best I can with no dialogue nor names. Plus slugcats are fun and easy to draw and I’m going to draw more of them anyway so you’ll be likely to get plenty of art. Y’all probably don’t know Jack shit about what I’m saying here because no one knows this hidden gem of a game.

That’s all for now. If y’all show enough interest in these AUs I might start trying to write them in my free time. Patchwork Heart and another big project still under wraps that Im working on with my friend are still my top priority but I’ve found DSAF fanfics are amazing pallet cleansers to write between working on those so I’m gonna write lots in my free time.

[ouijathicc]

It’s that wonderful time again

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME REQS

PLEASE IM SO BORED!

THE ONLY STUFF I DON’T DO ARE PROSHIP, OC/READER X CANON AND SMUT!

MY STUFF TAKES A LONG TIME BUT YOU'LL GET IT EVENTUALLY.

I do AUs if you explain them to me.