#dsmp link

[jacks-manidiary]

helloooo

I'm newly awakened as Quackity/fictionkin but i don't remember shit from my timeline

any tips on remembering stuff or fun memories from your own tl you wanna share?

- Q 💫

Oh boy, don't know if you've come to the expert here for advice. I&'m going to be saying this from a fictionlink perspective, but maybe it will help you with your 'kin issues too. Just don't worry much about forcing memories! They're not a necessity.

I&'d say do the obvious. Rewatch the source material, try to imagine in detail how it felt in the moment to be going through these events. Let it sit with you and give yourself time. Make logical guesses to what you must have been doing during the times you can't remember. There's no shame in such reconstruction! Memories are imperfect and if you need to know what happened during a certain time, it's perfectly fine to assume.

Talk about what happened in first person. Start a diary like I& did! Check in with yourself whether the things you know sound right. And if just asking yourself if something happened doesn't give you an answer, you can try assuming whichever story you like best and seeing if that gets a response.

Memories are often tied to sensory experiences. Try seeking out some foods, smells, scenery, anything that you could have eaten or felt during a given period of your life and seeing if that brings to mind anything.

...yeah. As for me&? Um, I& don't have a lot of memories at all either and the ones I& do have aren't what one would call "fun". The biggest one is the hotel, I& constantly think about my& time in the hotel and mull over those feelings. I& remember just sitting in the kitchen (in this life) alone late at night and realizing with terror that it felt like I& was back at the hotel again. Scared me& to bits. Yeah.

I&'ll be watching my& early streams this weekend though, and so I&'ll likely have a much clearer picture of the days in Manifoldland since those were happening before I& even got into DSMP in this life.

[jacks-manidiary]

Also, I think this story should go on this blog! I mentioned it vaguely to some friends, but it may be an interesting read to someone else!

Recently I took to rewatching old Jack streams, especially ones I missed while the dsmp was still going, but also just as a general refresher because I felt like my memories were getting too distant and blurry. It did help! Can recommend, please go rewatch your favourite streams for the Feels (TM).

Particularly though, the stream that had me most emotional turned out to be Jschlatt's funeral stream. Won't even touch the way it affected my Quackity veritbond (not that much really, they weren't the focus) but considering one of my friends is a huge fan of Jack's and Jschlatt's dynamic, I already was more attached to their so few and in-between interactions.

Watching the stream had me shaking and, especially after discussing in depth the parallels and unfairness of how Schlatt got a grave and I didn't, I ended up spiralling a bit (not in an upsetting way, more of a strong catharsis. Don't worry for me!)

I ended up with a very strong feeling of wanting to go dig myself a grave and just lie in it, on the cold dirt. Physically. It was the realest feeling I've probably ever had, it felt similar like when it's raining outside and you want to step out and go stand under the rain. It was STRONG. I felt like doing so would help the emotions pass through and ground me, like if I lied down on the floor.

I confessed these feelings in a kincord I'm in and Tommy offered to do a Minecraft funeral for me with a speech, especially considering he had a dsmp world recreation. We did so, and he even sent me a screenshot he took of the grave. Gamertag blurred out because it needs changing anyway.

Thank you, Toms. You needed a funeral as well. I appreciate you so much even if you won't see this.

[jacks-manidiary]

Man it's so weird having a recording of your and your friends' banter that you can just go look back on. Sure a lot of VODs are lost but like. Usually moments as fleeting as these don't even get recorded and yet here there are, streams from years ago, and you can just watch them. Conversations that you have long forgotten so much that they feel like new. And moments you have thought over so thoroughly that rewatching them happen in actuality is almost underwhelming, considering how much they changed you. It's so weird.

[jacks-manidiary]

Here's the art I made of Dove when I let it play with plushies last night :D Its favorite is the bee with a press-to-activate music beeper, probably because it's the most stimulating. It loved the bee so much it painted its eyes to be like its own!

[jacks-manidiary]

My friends said, like, ONCE during a voice chat that I have the streamer personality and I have been riding that high ever since.

[jacks-manidiary]

On a more positive note, I think I'm finally learning acceptance! Here's some good progress I've done since my initial awakening:

I've let go of my grudges and forgiven people I hated

I've been connecting more with canonmates

I've gotten more clothes and accesories that look like what I used to wear/have

I've figured out I only needed Manifork to love

I had my friends all support me in my identity

I've stopped stressing out about not fitting in

I got some nice journal entries out of it!

[jacks-manidiary]

Ayup.

I've been wrestling with my identity for a while now and being Jack Manifold has become a significant part of it as of late, so... I decided to make a blog about it? Don't know how long it'll last.

What I will post here:

Personal rambles

Daydream diaries

Essays?!

Stuff I requested or asked on other blogs

Honestly just whatever I want

Please interact with me if you wish to for any reason whatsoever. I may sound unapproachable, but I am just very sad and shy all the time! I'm very lonely and in need of people to talk to.

I take my alterhumanity very seriously, and a lot of it stems from immersive daydreaming for me. I've chosen to be Jack in my daily life outside of my daydreams as well.

I use kin tags for visibility. I'll stop using them when there's more than two people using link tags. I also don't mind if you tag my posts as kin. Doubles are welcomed too.

I sign off as "🔥🔥🔥" on other blogs.

Despite this being a Jack Manifold centric blog, I will also likely discuss my other aspects of alterhumanity or even daydreaming.

I am objectum for Manifork. Please be respectful of it.

[linklocus]

Hi!! It's Ghostbur (DreamSMP) from a loooooooooooong time ago!! I'm back from accidentally making myself think i was something i was not because i felt bad about my voluntary identity but now i've come to terms with it so.. yeah!! I'm a 'linker and it's pretty neat and i wanted to let you all know that linker or not a linker, you're cool too and you should never feel like you have to be something you're not to be valid!! love u all :D

;_; That is so sweet of you to come here to say. Thank you Ghostbur! I'm so happy you're at peace with your identity!