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Cyber Doll | Sega Saturn | I'Max Corp

Dual Orb II [SNES, 1994, JPN]

I was actually more excited to play Dual Orb II than I have been for most current generation games. The first one was so surprisingly great even with my rudimentary knowledge of Japanese, and the entire reason I played it was because I wanted to check out this fairly recently fan-translated game, so the assumption center of my brain is firing a lot of RPN (role-playing neurons) around.

I'Max, not to be confused with the insufferable Max Kellerman's equally insufferable, and luckily short lived, show "I, Max," really isn't known over here in the west. I also get the feeling they aren't particularly well known over in the east either. I did learn that one of their biggest claims to fame is developing Insmouse no Yakata, a first person shooter/survival horror game for the Virtual Boy that was loosely based on a Lovecraft tale. It has the distinction of being the best FPS and the best survival horror game on the ill-fated, eye killing system.

Well, the only first person shooter and the only survival horror game, but it's still an accolade.

In Dual Orb II, another dragon is being a dickhead about humanity being a bunch of dickheads. He decides to kill them all for getting all tech savvy on him, but is thwarted and instead only blasts humanity back to the magic-heavy industrial revolution setting that this series does so well. It isn't a sequel to the first Dual Orb, because that is just something RPGs don't like to do, but it's still familiar.

The story focuses on Aleth, the adopted son of the kingdom of Garade's High Priest, and his friendship with Lagnus, the Prince of the Kingdom. I also projected some homosexual undertones to their friendship. It wasn't very hard.

The graphics have gotten a really nice overhaul, and it's sort of impressive how varied the character animations are during the game's turn based battle scenes. Even the music is up there with other RPG games of the era. This is a very aesthetically pleasing game.

You can even program your characters to act a certain way during auto-battle. Kind of ahead of it's time for 1994, like a great grandfather to Final Fantasy XII's gambit system.

I didn't think this was a cum joke at first, but then they wrapped them in condoms and it sort of convinced me it was a cum joke.

Hey, maybe I wasn't just projecting that homosexual relationship after all. Everybody get aboard the Yaoi train!

Hoping to be discovered, Aleth quickly uploads the video of him playing Pokerface to Youtube.

Don't panic. Someone had to have brought a towel.

I'll take "Statements overheard during meetings of the fat mall goths from your high school's internet Wiccan coven" for $100 Alex.

In a similar fashion to the first Dual Orb, the plot begins to branch out and distance itself from the typical save-the-world-and-also-find-the-ten-apples-I-lost gameplay that most RPGs of the early 90s were fine with. Dual Orb II deals with the horrors of war, betrayal, and loss all while throwing you a few curve balls with the plot.

Most of the enemies really capture the feel of Dual Orb II's gritty, industrialized world...

While some don't. Did the developers hit a deadline and go "fuck it, I'm tired of thinking of enemies. Just use the next ten things you think of, it'll fit."

I remember this lazy river ride being way less cavey the last time I was at Sesame Place.

Shit, I knew this dog was a party dog.

The characters are all well thought out and Dual Orb II does a really good job of making them seem like friends and allies. There is a lot of good banter between your party, but without you involved since it is a prerequisite that all RPG heroes be mute.

That is too much. I can get my Relaxing Herb from Big Worm for way cheaper.

This looks uncannily like the last BDSM party I went to. Even has a guy buy himself wearing a cloak.

"I am also Captain of the Obvious Brigade."

No, I think it's "Legend of the Five Rings."

Oh, great, we are about to learn the meaning of Christmas.

Someone must have just told him that, in America, teachers are fired and beneficial programs are canceled because nobody has any money all while the richest earners in the country are given huge tax breaks on their record levels of income.

No war but class war, guy in the purple vest. No war but class war.

PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDIPUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI

Oh, great, we walked into the MPAA by mistake.

I don't know why, but I have a sinking feeling that it might be a trap.

Dad?

There are some very light-hearted moments sprinkled around all the sacrifice and drama. Doing missions to liberate beer for a group of benevolent pirates, only to find out they use it as fuel to bribe the Great A'Tuin's less successful brother to drag their hideout around is a fun series of events that, of course, begun with a child being abducted by evil pirates who want to put him into the child slave trade. Comedy!

Dual Orb II also shares something else with it's predecessor- it's absolutely unforgiving difficulty. Getting wiped out early and often is likely, and it doesn't get much better as the game goes on.

It does feature a pretty unique weapon system to help you through the insane difficulty though. There are only a handful of weapons, three or four at most, that each character can use in the entire game, but these weapons can be upgraded to some pretty devastating levels in exchange for your hard earned gold. While gold seems plentiful at first, trying to get your weapons maxed out keeps your wallet emptier than a Republican government would.

Did I already make a joke about this being what Emily's bedroom looks like? I did. Hmm. I don't feel like thinking of another one.

Performing the National Anthem today, the Repressed Sexual Abuse Christian Boy's Choir.

They are way more laid back than those shirtless dudes over in Sparta.

If you aren't careful, you are going to have a hard time Keeping Up with the Kardosans.

I hate myself.

Watch your step Cassius, or else you will fall into that 1970s carpet and die of regrettable cultural taste.

Which was way better than what Howard Johnson did with his ultimate power of technology.

The penultimate boss must be Terry Gilliam.

The only real negative about this game is that the controls take a bit of getting used to due to how unintuitive they are, which should be completely impossible in a RPG, and that there are some other quirky design choices. The game, despite it's size, does feel a bit linear as well, but that gets a pass due to how well paced and scripted the story is.

Our right to party?

Gigan and Space Godzilla had a baby, we are all fucked!

Dual Orb II is a great RPG and an absolute lost classic. Despite some goofy controls and design choices, Dual Orb II is a majorly challenging JRPG with a deep, engaging, and awesome plot. It's kind of surprising I'Max stopped at two of these. The theme and settings are both great, and there was obviously talent creating these two games. Still, better to get out while you were ahead then LOST it all up.

9/10

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