Ctenizidae
for @darksideweeks Dukexiety Week Day 2 Jumpscares
Word Count: 1584 (Ao3) Rating: T+ Characters: Remus, Virgil Warnings: Suggestive themes, alluded gore, mild stalking, pants pissing out of fear, buff Virgil
Ctendizidae (n.) - a small family of mygalomorph spiders that construct burrows with a cork-like trapdoor made of soil, vegetation, and silk.
Remus wants to have a little fun and startle his favorite edgelord. But he gets distracted and winds up being prey for a trapdoor spider instead.
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There were many simple joys in life, and a being plagued by horrors both cosmic and realistic, Remus was a master at finding them. He loved the beautiful fatal demise of octopi in the throes of mating, the stalks of fungi erupting from infected bugs, and the artful tragedy of succumbing to the will of the universe after fighting back for ages.
Of course he had found simpler joys, like guro art, BDSM, and making people squirm. He was especially fond of their bold reactions to his antics when he appeared out of nowhere in a cacophony.
Remus absolutely relished when Patton yelped and cringed at him! Roman had the best horror-movie-bimbo scream! Everyone had unique reactions to his little jump scares, but none of them made him tingle quite like the fight in fight-or-flight.
Remus absolutely loved when he scared Virgil enough to get him hostile. There was something so erotic about the sluggish giant snapping and punching him on instinct. All that concealed and controlled strength showing through that disinterested mask was more than enough encouragement for Remus. Sometimes Virgil would slam him against the wall and lean in close, delivering threats he wouldn't back up. It always made Remus' slimy heart race.
It was just another evening in the mindscape and Remus was bored. Pissy blocked him from entering his room, and Hissy was in the middle of his self-care routine—the one thing Remus didn't dare interrupt.
As he lounged on his bed, Remus decided it was the perfect opportunity to hide in Virgil's room and surprise him! With blood! Gallons of the stuff! And a full view of the little duke at attention! He just needed the right moment to sneak in.
With a flick of his wrist, Remus summoned a portal to peer into his spider's web. The undulating green edges glowed around a picturesque view of the cozy room. Remus giggled to himself at the sight of Mr. Fuzzy, sitting on a shelf full of CDs above the bathroom door. Virgil really cared about him enough to have his creation watching him sleep.
Remus rolled onto his front and propped his head up on his hands, feeling giddy and comforted by the wall of posters in his peep hole. Just knowing Virgil wasn't a hallucination made him feel less alone. He had a kindred spirit so close, wrapped up in a body that he could crave for a plethora of reasons. The only problem was, that man was not in the picture.
Was Virgil secretly seeing Roman? Maybe that's why Remus got locked out. The idea made his stomach twist into knots—he wasn't the jealous type unless Roman was involved. And that prissy prince wouldn't be able to handle that force of nature in bed! Remus absolutely could, but he was a trained thot.
But before he could hone in on the yucky feeling, Remus was relieved to see the bathroom door open. The relief shifted to a different emotion when he saw Virgil.
The man was in a pair of low-rise pajama pants with a towel on his head. Steam floated out behind him as he dried his hair, and steam shot out of Remus' ears as he watched those bare arms flex.
Remus was drooling over those tense biceps and broad shoulders. Underneath the massive hoodie and baggy shirt he usually wore, Virgil was hiding the most scrumptious beefcake Remus had ever seen.
Virgil wandered closer to the frame, drying his shaggy hair, unwittingly giving Remus a closer look at his bare torso. His pallid frame was the perfect canvas for Remus to bite and scratch, and Remus could not look away.
Virgil tossed the towel across the room and shook out his mane before plopping on his bed. He lounged against his pillows and pulled his headphones on, letting the tension leave his body.
Even though he wasn't posing for Remus, Virgil's posture drew attention to his abdomen. Remus was so tempted to give up on jump scaring him and just going over to beg for a chance to lick those padded abs.
Despite his raging horniness, Remus was content with waiting and watching. It wasn't often he got to see Virgil so relaxed. Virgil's eyes were closed and his face looked soft and unbothered. He was idly tapping his foot to the beat of whatever song he had playing, and he was in his own world.
Remus decided to take it in a little longer before he had his fun. It was the perfect opportunity to startle the spider.
"Remus," a low voice murmured in his ear. A chill ran down his spine as he felt warm breath tickling his neck.
He whipped his head around, expecting to see the feral beast calling to him. But there was nobody there.
Remus shrugged and glanced back at his magic peephole. Virgil was still lounging on his bed, jamming and oblivious to the duke's greedy eyes. Remus sighed softly and swooned internally. He could have his spicy fun with Virgil and then cuddle up with him for hours, soaking in his warmth and melting into those muscles.
Of course all that could happen after he got his juicy booty over there for a fun surprise! Maybe he could make it dramatic and flashy with lightning—or maybe he could go all out FnaF and make himself look robotic! Or maybe—
"Remus," the voice said again, with a frustrated edge to it. His hair stood on end. He could practically feel the person's presence hovering next to him.
Remus glanced over his shoulder, hoping to see his Violet Widower looking over him. Or an actual spider.
But again he only saw his room. Maybe he was just hallucinating, it wasn't the first time. A good distraction would help! Like surprising Virgil!
He turned his attention to his peeping portal again, checking to make sure he could get away with sneaking in.
Virgil was no longer on his bed, or in sight. Remus pouted. So much for his fun!
He rolled onto his back, only mildly bummed out
And came face to face with a pair of lethal, shadowy eyes.
Remus screamed as he was pinned down, thrashing and shaking. He even lost control of his bladder!
"What did I tell you about stalking me?!" Virgil snarled and waited for him to calm down enough to answer.
Remus gasped and tried to catch his breath. His heart was hammering against his ribs and it would not slow down, not when Virgil was pinning him down like a starving carnivore.
"Oh sweet Dagon!" Remus gasped, "I pissed my pants!"
"Hot," Virgil droned sarcastically. He figured that Remus was exaggerating, which was just typical Remus behavior. He at least scared the duke enough for him to swear to an eldritch god.
"Ooh! I didn't know you were into—"
"Answer my question," Virgil cut him off with a growl. Remus' heart was doing backflips.
"No creeping on you when you might be nakey for horny reasons! But I wasn't doing it for horny reasons!" he whined like the brat he was, pouting up at Virgil with wide doe eyes.
"You kept the portal open long enough for me to notice it," Virgil scoffed and tightened his grip on Remus' wrists, "Don't try to play it off."
"I just wanted to make sure it was okay to surprise you!" Remus whined, "But then you had to be pretty! I can't help it if I get hit with gay!"
Virgil loosened his grip and sighed. Remus was a terrible liar, so it was obvious that he meant what he said. Still, that didn't mean he could get used to Remus calling him pretty.
"Looks like I ruined your plan," —he sighed and glanced down to make sure he wasn't waking up the little duke, "—and your pants."
"You're scary and scary hot!" Remus giggled and squirmed to escape his grasp (not that he was trying too hard!)
Virgil shook his head and released Remus, sitting back on his haunches, much to Remus' dismay.
"You should change and clean up," he said and headed for the door.
"But then you'll leave without paying the cuddle tax!" Remus whined and sat up. That's when he noticed that Virgil was still shirtless, but wearing his hoodie. And he was blushing like crazy!
"Cuddle tax?" he scoffed and crossed his arms, averting his eyes, "Like you'd let it stop at that!"
"I would!" Remus chirped and got up, "But I won't stop you from taking things further!"
Virgil stammered and turned his back to Remus. Remus, in turn, took the opportunity to magically clean up and switch into pajamas. So what if he went with a sexy lingerie nightgown? It was silky and breathable, and it looked good on him! He even remembered to wear underwear! There was no way Virgil could argue against cuddles!
"Pay up, big boy!" Remus jeered, "You owe me some attention and affection!"
Virgil turned around and gawked at him. He was blushing down to his pecs and curling into himself. That would not do!
Remus grabbed him and threw him down on the bed. Virgil yelped and then grunted when a ball of chaos flopped on his chest and snuggled up to him.
"This is what you get for scaring me and being hot!" Remus jeered and hugged him, "Suffer my neediness!"
Virgil chuckled shyly and hugged him. This wasn't the relaxing evening he planned, but he wouldn't complain.












