smiles (a poem).
in every smile, i saw passion. there’s no greater satisfaction than seeing that twinkle in someone’s eye; or the raising of clenched fists into the air, victory coming into fruition. yes, in every scene, when one person finally completed their great mission, that so talked about purpose in life, i felt called. my mother told me everyone is here for a reason and goodness knows society blasts about it. you must understand, i am merely a speckle in a world full of greats. but, there’s just something about those smiles. sparkly white teeth that hit you like a reflection of what you’re missing. could one actually awaken to life? look no further; those pearly grins opened my soul to welcome the age of discovery. once meaningless, now found. grab a rope and take me out of the sky, everybody, fore’ i am forever a goner to my dreams. it’s rather amusing, isn’t it? i always longed to be free, yet i led myself onto a narrow road of infinitely pursuing success, no matter how open the form. my hair is always messy, no matter how hard i try to fix it; my childhood was external frames barely fitting into that perfect role model image despite its opposing nature to my wild soul. though, in a moment of admittance, i now knew why these faces called to me, reeling me in, leaving me bound to my fate. joy, widened spirits of endless enlightenment. waves are to my piscean essence as freedom is to my happiness. creative paths ripen my pessimistic mind, providing an escape from the shadows of life. most of all, they help me comprehend what it is like to be happy. matter is so dull, and all that matters is a palette of colors. paint the night and you’ll feel alright. in my heart lies the childhood dream of becoming a singer. living of moments of harmonies, syncing with other people and realizing i’m not alone. escaping dread with nostalgic beats. i even envisioned dancing in my future; endorphins do hit like a brain wave. these imagined scenarios all do tie to fame, fortune, known success. and do not blame a girl for wanting a shiny trophy; they glitter like dreams. but, just like the shimmering reflection of sunsets on the water, the end of the day showed that they all tied back to smiles. soft smiles of peace. i just wanted that. i still do yearn for that feeling, that natural feeling of happiness. whether it comes from the energy of helping the world or fulfilling my passions or feeling truly seen. oh, yes; in grinning honesty, i knew in those moments of familiar recognition that i would do absolutely fucking anything to experience happiness with myself for once. just once. because only then would i finally feel free.