#dumb boy things

[feminist-mermaid]

i’m seeing more and more the parts of him that have been so badly effected by his awful childhood and it only makes me want to love him more, to take care of him more. so that he can know unconditional love exists

we’re both still learning how to love each other and it’s pretty amazing to get to grow with him.

[feminist-mermaid]

sometimes he sends me long texts about all the reasons why he loves me, and they’re hardly ever the same each time (except my smile, he always mentions that) and it just makes me feel so loved and warm that he sees me the way that he does.

and it just reminds me that he’s the boy who held my hand while i fell asleep and kept holding it while i slept. i have never been so loved.

[feminist-mermaid]

trying to look on the bright side of things

bc if we can manage for Scott to come up here for the end of April we could go to the comic expo together in my city and be super nerds together and that would be really fun to do with him.

so even though it’s not quite as soon as i would have hoped (another 5 months, fuck) it would still be so so nice.

[feminist-mermaid]

it looks like our kinda sorta plans for seeing each other maaybe in february aren’t gonna happen.

so it’s gonna be at least another 5 months.

[feminist-mermaid]

the holiday’s are super rough for Scott bc of all the family stuff and it’s so hard for him to function around people and i hate not being there for him. and i hate how closed off he gets, though i totally understand.

i am really looking forward to the future when we can make our own memories and have our own traditions, and i know, trust me i know, that it will never come close to erasing what has happened in the past, but goddamn it i want to give him some good memories.

[feminist-mermaid]

scott’s dealing with a bunch of crap bc of his roommate not pulling his weight and is having the hardest time saving up money.

SO, i’ve now made it my goal to save up all the money i can, so by christmas time so my gift can be flying him up here.

it’s the only thing that makes sense, other than my phone bill i have no real expenses, so i actually have the ability to save up, and by christmas i should have at least $500 put aside, even though i’m only working a few hours a week

so this is my goal now.

[feminist-mermaid]

my happy place is sitting on the couch with him. our legs are all tangled together. i can reach up easily and kiss him. we’re warm, no one else is there.

and i never have to worry about leaving.

[feminist-mermaid]

my boyfriend has the saddest childhood stories.

it just makes me want to love him more.