#dumb chatter

[sharp-exhale]

that kissing scene was the worst thing i’ve ever seen

[rukafais]

if you really think about it

Quirrel and Hornet are complete inversions of what you’d usually expect them to be based on gender and that’s kind of great

Quirrel is a soft, friendly and generally gentle wanderer with missing memories who turns out to be extremely old and with a key connection to the plot, who ends up helping you in a boss battle with previously-unseen power and unlocking a plot-important thing that you wouldn’t be able to access without him

meanwhile Hornet is a stoic, battle-hardened kingdom guardian who repeatedly tests your worth and her trust and respect for you is earned by repeated battles and exploration of the world, and she never really gets any less stoic because that’s just how she is and how she expresses herself, and she doesn’t have a conventional ‘softer and more vulnerable side’ or ‘she was actually soft inside all along!’ she’s just allowed to be serious and stern and also ‘not completely cold’

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something i really like about japanese linguistics is the direct translation the parts of speech have with their purpose:

for example: adjectives are 形容詞 (keiyoushi) which literally breaks down into”form 形 +contain/appearance 容 +part of speech/word 詞 ” or more concisely “modifying 形容 + part of speech 詞”

adverbs are  副詞 (fukushi) which is literally the “vice/assistant + part of speech” as the 2nd in command to verbs

verbs are predictable, even before confirming the definition of the kanji i knew it would directly mention movement.  動詞 (doushi) = “motion + part of speech”

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What the fuck is this movie?: a brief review on Polar (netflix)

[Beware: Spoilers]

I haven’t done a review on here in a long time, but lately my private reviews have just been essays tearing apart movies i find dissatisfying (which are many). this is (probably) not going to be an objective  or deep review (if much of one at all), and if anyone else has watched it, I’d genuinely love to get your take on what made it work or not [especially since i’m blown away by its 91% rating on rotten tomatoes as of jan. 27, 2019].

Main issues:

who wrote this fucking script? there is no subtext, there is no “show, don’t tell”. everything the characters think is spoken and none of their thoughts are in any way profound or a twist. This is about 70% of my issue with the film because having your characters speak their personality rather than show their personality has made this the most boring watch of 2019. the bad guys aren’t menacing because they monologue like cartoon villains, which is only made worse by the fact that they are in no way clever or an actual threat. everyone that the “villains” have gone against have been helpless, stupid, or both, and they never face a real challenge, yet a pack of them travel everywhere?

(moments i liked in the script/character interactions: big guy earnestly imploring sindy to go and get breakfast after she stabs a dead man 10 times, duncan teaching the elementary school kids and no one batting an eye that he models a dismemberment on a 7 year old volunteer, the actual psychological horror of forced addiction [until i realized that it was never resolved])

every “fight” scene lasted about 5 minutes too long. I don’t need to see duncan threatening to drill a hole through someone’s head to get information. I don’t need to see The Goons Five beating up an old man for information they literally could have opened a drawer to find. I don’t need to see said goons spending a whole goddamn scene trying to strangle (and fail), shoot (and fail) a random obese man and treat him like a spectacle the entire time just for information that (at this point) They Already Have.

on this same topic, ass shots and sex scenes were unbelievably long. i don’t need to follow an ass in booty shorts down an entire hallway. we get it, sindy is hot, and she likes to dress up wherever she goes. We don’t need that reinforced every time she’s on the damn screen. also, why does every sexy character sound as if you made a porno of npc’s: no woman giggles and moans for no goddamn reason when you lift a dumbbell or smile at her in a strip club.

women exist in 3 categories: matronly, young and hot, and the elusive young and traumatized.

the bad guy’s npc goons wear a bad guy uniform. company dress code i guess.

no real qualms with the videography (but i hated how it cut between scenes and the over the top “graphic novel” vibe they tried to force back into the film with the character and location titles)

the first scene of the movie put me off so bad i almost didn’t continue watching it. No human being talks like this, has conversations like this, or interacts with each other like this. zooming into crotch and ass shots couldn’t distract me from it.

50% of the dialogue doesn’t need to exist. Neither do i need to hear the dying groans of 100 guards. The majority of speaking roles contribute nothing to the story and seem only to serve in extending the scene, i.e. that scene with the creepy pervert in the penthouse that wouldn’t shut up or ask an actual useful question in the entire time that he existed.

mads is really putting his all into this role though, i have to admire that.

thank god for jazmin for the brief time she existed. she’s the only character that (mostly) said what she needed to and nothing more. and is one of the four (4) poc in the entire film.

jazmin and duncan’s fancy glove powered machine gun was Choice.

“time to die”. [Blut chuckles]. [Blut throws a tantrum]. “come back!” His every moment on screen was a waste of my time and the film’s time. how did he even get this company? did he inherit it? He’s obviously not a businessman if he’s somehow $29 million in debt. Who is he in debt to? How the hell is a hitman company in debt??

the audio was unmemorable. apparently deadmaus had music in there?

english secretary was very chill and gave me no reason to hate her.

camille’s twist did surprise me somehow despite the heavy handed foreshadowing. Are they going to go hunting for Duncan’s boss now?

i get that the movie is based on a comic, but tons of other movies have the same origin and aren’t so weak in every possible area. you can have comic based movies that don’t feel so generic.

okay, this has turned into less of a review and more of a running disappointed commentary lmao. im done

[sharp-exhale]

a year late and without context, but tara long is absolutely the most powerful person at polygon

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The animation in this show is gorgeous

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Me: *channeling Sui* Photogenic!!!

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PLEASE ADVISE

10000000% non sexual, but how do you satisfy an oral fixation? Im always biting the skin off my lips and the inside of my mouth and chewing my nails and the skin on the tips of my fingers, which are all very unsanitary and gross and usually end in open wounds but it's always unconscious and i usually don't catch myself doing it until something hurts. If you have anything you've tried that kills the urge completely or satisfies the need to chew/have something in my mouth, please let me know!!#!!!!!!