#dwarf bread

[dimity-lawn]

Vimes needs some rest.

I am Carrot. Is the exhibit on a different continent? I'll still be excited about a good museum exhibit.

[peachyindeed]

Your workplace ought to have an emergency stash of dwarf bread. Something that's there to eat... if you're truly hungry enough to eat it. The besy-by date is long past but it's still technically edible, probably?

For example, my version of dwarf bread is a can of soup stashed in my desk drawer. It has been there A While. And while yes, my actual lunch was meager and I'm considering eating my own arm next, I'm not hungry enough to open that soup. :)

[carpe-mamilia]

I've seen a fair bit of discussion about Roundworld equivalents of Dwarf bread, but I can't help feeling that Dorset knob biscuits might take the- the, ah, the thingy.

As a person who grew up in Dorset where these pebble-like delicacies were sold in nearly every shop, I can say truthfully that I've never ever seen anyone eating one, but that if loaded into a slingshot they could probably break windows.

[phoenixphire24]

I've somehow stumbled upon the Dwarf Bread Museum.

[terrypratchettparadise]

"But it was miraculous, the dwarf bread. No-one ever went hungry when they had some dwarf bread to avoid. You only had to look at it for a moment, and instantly you could think of dozens of things you’d rather eat. Your boots, for example. Mountains. Raw sheep. Your own foot."

Terry Pratchett - Witches Abroad

[itsmultifandommadness]

Why does dwarf bread get so little hype? It’s bread that they use as a weapons!!! Hello?!?!?! I’d be pretty interested if someone made bread so hard that is could be a reasonable substitute for a truncheon in a fight! 

[girlwithsword]

in more 'Discworld Dwarves are Jews cause I, a jew, Say So' news, did you know that in the acient temple there were 12 loaves of bread left out each week that, according to Rabbinic tradition, 1) stayed 'as fresh as they were when baked' and 2) one bite of could completely sustain you

sounds familair, huh

[iconuk01]

"Bet it's a long time since you've had proper dwarf bread, then," said Granny. The spokesdwarf's eyes misted over. "Baked from the finest stone-ground grit, just like mother used to jump up and down on it," Granny went on. A sort of collective sigh went up from the dwarfs. "you just can't get it down here," said the spokesdwarf, to the ground. "It's the water, or something. It falls to bits after hardly any years at all." "They puts flour in it," said someone behind him, sourly. "It's worse'n that. The baker over in Genua puts dried fruit in it," said another dwarf. "Well, now," said Granny, rubbing her hands together, "I may be able to help you here. Could be I've got some dwarf bread to spare." "Nah. Not proper dwarf bread, " said the spokesdwarf moodily. "Proper dwarf bread's got to be dropped in rivers and dried out and sat on and left and looked at every day and put away again. You just can't get it down here." "This could be," said Granny Weatherwax, "your lucky day." "To be frank," said Nanny Ogg, "I think the cat pissed on some of it." The spokesdwarf looked up, his eyes aglow. "Hot damn!"

Sir Terry Pratchett - Witches Abroad