I recently had a post come across my dash, and I'd like to ask: What is your opinion on cis hetero-romantics who identify as asexual? Are they welcome to queer spaces?
They’re more than welcome to any space of mine.
I don’t get to decide the comfort level of other people, on a whole, and while I disagree with the idea of a “queer ENOUGH” quantifier - I don’t disagree with people wanting to define their own spaces. It’s up to an individual to decide.
Someone who identifies as cis and het is still asexual. They have still faced a life of “being different.” They have unique problems and things that they need to talk about in their relationships that no one else has - regardless of who they’re in a relationship with. They’re still isolated, and it hurts my heart to know how much of a community that they think would welcome them still tells them they’re not good enough.
I personally dont use the “lgbt” tag because of how much the large amount of people in that community don’t want the a team in their space. (Agender, asexual, or aromantic.) I use quiltbag. I’m not welcome in one - but I’m welcome in the other.
I’ve made a post once before talking about how hurtful it is to their own communities to fight for the idea that straight is the default - you can read it here if you like - http://awkwardarbor.tumblr.com/post/162381055547/so-tumblr-versus-the-a-team-there-are-so-many
I will never agree with the idea that you have to be different enough to have your pain be worth something. As a kid in an abusive household, I spent a lot of years reminding myself that other people had it worse. People do that with everything. I have people apologize to me by saying their bad experience doesn’t compare to mine when talking about grief, injuries, family, assault, anything at all. Doesn’t matter. You had a bad experience. You had a bad day. You’re hurting. You’re valid. You count.
My opinion of /// *to* the people who are cis, hetero romantic and asexual is the following:
I love you, and you’re always welcome in my spaces.
