#dysphoria;

[fairymint-archive]

5 Songs that you associate with your muse:

Praying to a God (that won’t talk back)- Nico & Vinz

She's praying to a God who won't talk back Her faith is dying, the tears a sign she's going off track

In too deep to save herself, she takes a pill that seems to help Close her eyes and pictures standing at the altar

Femmebot-  Charli XCX,  feat. Dorian Electra and Mykki Blanco

The way you look at me I-I-I short circuit You make me lose control, It's automatic You push my buttons See-e-e-e how I work it I get what I want, Like it or not

Ex Machina-na-na, you can't win I'm A.I., slut, I am that bitch

Butterfly Knife- food house

You can cut my heart out with a butterfly knife I won't put up a fight Stabbing every petty thing into my chest so you can spite me Frightening psyche, thunderbolts and lightning Our time alone is tightening it's shorter than it might seem

And I'm just looking after myself You should do the same before you go and do this shit to somebody else Just try to do what's best for your health

I cried like Hannah Diamond that night for you But I still, after 24 hours come back

So I feel like a freak, and I know that I'm not But I'll stay feeling weak till you get what you want

Nothing's ever ever felt so good As we're one in the same in the cosmic wood Not the one I fell for, not the one who birthed me and hurt me and burnt me down And I come with respect, when I say the things you love are the ones that come after your neck.

Calling All the Monsters-  China Anne McClain

Tonight all the monsters gonna dance We're comin' to get you! If you're only dreaming Why I hear you screaming?

Gonna paint it red inside your head Like a demon choir playing with fire

Be Kind-  Halsey and Marshmello

Wanna believe, That you don't have a bad bone in your body But the bruises on your ego make you go wild, wild, wild, yeah Wanna believe,  That even when you're stone-cold, you're sorry Tell me why you gotta be so outta your mind, yeah?

I know you're chokin' on your fears Already told you I'm right here I will stay by your side every night

I know you're built to love, but broken now, so just try, yeah?

I know it's hard for you, but it's not fair Going sick in the head, tryna get you there And I know it's hard for you, but it's not fair It's not fair

I don't know why you hide from the one, And close your eyes to the one Mess up and lie to the one that you love. When you know you can cry to the one, Always confide in the one You can be kind to the one that you love

[cenglzal]

*whispers* do u have any trans isak headcanons

we never don’t have trans isak headcanons in this household!!!

isak is 13 when he discovers he’s a boy

he’s never really liked makeup, and his hair is stiff and awkward as it cascades down his shoulders

he thinks wearing dresses would be nice if he chalked up the confidence, but something about the stigma of femininity makes bile rise in his throat

his mother isn’t much help, either

she’s distant and buried in her religion, which isn’t a bad thing; whatsoever, really

she just thinks everything can be answered by the word of g-d, and isak doesn’t necessarily agree

he looks up to famous trans people in media, fearless with they way they represent themselves

marsha p johnson, a black trans woman so threaded into history, yet so missing

isak thinks that there’s bravery in leading a movement, especially if you’re double the minority 

he wants to lead a movement one day, too 

when he’s 15, he cuts his hair

his mother doesn’t ask and he doesn’t tell, and the boy figures it’s better that way

jonas is good about it, too. much more supportive than he lead on

he tells isak not to bind with ace bandages because he could puncture a lung

a lungful of blood is a quicker death than some wish for him, though

transitioning without testosterone is one of the hardest struggles he’s ever faced

he knows some transmasc people don’t prefer t or chest surgery or hormone blockers, but sometimes the dysphoria is too much to handle

so he does it his own way

he wears makeup sometimes, and big, fluffy shirts as opposed to his binder, especially when it’s hot and his ribs ache

his chest doesn’t bother him as much any more

at first, isak is scared about dating a cis boy

he doesn’t know how he’ll react to his…situation

it turns out that he doesn’t have to worry, considering even comes out to him as nonbinary a few months into their relationship

and it’s good

he has queer friends and a partner who loves him and he’ll be starting t soon

he’s excited, truly, but he knows that it won’t save him from his demons

testosterone or hormones don’t magically turn you cis, no matter how hard you try

isak doesn’t necessarily want to be cis, though

it’s better to be isak

[fairymint-archive]

I am not about to pretend that Felix doesn’t wrestle with toxic masculinity- or even toxic femininity for that matter. Combine that with his PTSD, and yeah.....he is one of those ‘evil cockroach gays.’ and full of spite.

He is a bully. He can have a very deep voice that can sound intimidating because he doesn’t have control of it- Only 3 volumes, soft, Loud, and Out of Range aka Nothing Comes Out.

He dresses as femininely as he wants, and may wear a frilly, dress like tank top. But, more comfortable in shorts both physically, and because he has hair on his legs.

But he is....for lack of a better term, One of the Boys. Not in misogyny, but Friendship wise, the meanness and tough love. Slightly uncomfortable around women, but he’s aware of this and tries not to make it known.

Going on T has been like a second puberty for him and....it shows. He’s stuck at looking and somewhat, acting 16 for now. Within some reason.

It’s much better than the X era of toxic femininity- He was an extreme egg back then, trying to be feminine, but.

All this is probably more better presented in the trans hc meme i made-

[fairymint-archive]

(Not really a dirty question) 💞 + Are you satisfied with your own body? If not, what changes do you wish for?

🧁}

"K-kinda.... I want my boobs to be a bit bigger, but mostly..... I'm a bit s-sensitive too. "

💙} "I'm pretty satisfied at this point. I just dunno if I'm really anyone's type."

[fairymint-archive]

💙~ “Something tells me I’m going to look 16 for a while....”

“Maybe even for the ReST oF mY LiFe-”

[lamedudeconnor]

Feeling horribly dysphoric about my chest today.

I feel so stuck and depressed.

This is hard to deal with on my own...

[lamedudeconnor]

How do people do it? I'm struggling to find work, and even if I did I wouldn't ever make enough to pay for everything I need to and save for top surgery.

I know it could take years but the dysphoria and depression that comes with this is unbearable. I'm not sure who to talk to or how to feel better about this. It's getting to a point that I don't want to even go out anymore in fear I don't pass and how disgusted I feel with my appearance. It doesn't help I have a large chest, either...

I wish I was stronger and more capable of keeping my chin up and hoping for the future of getting the surgery. It seems so far away that it's almost a dream.

How do you guys deal? I could really use some advice...