#e's kitchen

[aroace-get-out-of-my-face]

This is a bit of an odd personal post, not any Fandom related, so feel free to keep on trucking friend :]

How do I start this. I suppose, it should start with the simple fact that you should take your toys out of their boxes.

I've had boxes of action figures stuffed into various precarious locations all over every living space I've ever been in. Most of them still have the price stickers, for fear of damaging the packaging.

The boxes are dusty. Plastic unbended and the cardboard uncreased, and little faces of whatever beloved character inside stares out and has stared out at me for years.

This morning, in a fit of. Something. I grabbed my sharpest, shiniest scissors and tore into each and every action figure I still have like it was Christmas morning. I snapped the tape holding the boxes together, dusty and melted into the crevices. I ripped the bulky loud packaging out and snipped every little support twisty that surrounded each figure, dug out every little accessory, change of hands or prop, and bent all their joints around and twisted their heads and tilted their feet back and forth until they could stand on their own.

And then, for good measure, I recycled all the boxes.

And it was utterly freeing.

As I set up my newly freed collection in fun poses all around on every shelf, gleefully adjusting heads and hands so they were reacting to my secondary collection of books, I realized that for years, I had been denying myself real happiness.

I kept these things in packaging because I was prioritizing the next owner, the hypothetical future worth of something, over my own worth. And my own happiness.

I checked online about one of the action figures to see how others might have staged it. New, and in the box, the figure is worth a hundred and thirty bucks.

I think my joy is worth more than a hundred and thirty bucks.

Now, these figures will get dusty. I've set some up where I know sunlight comes in through the window. They'll get sunbleached, over the years, and lose their color. I live in a place with earthquakes, some might fall from the shelf and scratch or break. I have a dog, I have family with grabby hands, and I like to redecorate. These figures will only deteriorate and gather dust as time wears on.

But I'll be able to see them better. Out of the box, I can touch them and mess with their poses and make stop motion videos if I ever had the wish to. Outside the box I can have more fun than I ever did staring at them through preserved amber.

So, take the toys out of the boxes. Mess with them, break them. We don't live all that long, and saving things because you might be able to sell them later is dumb.

Take the toys out of the boxes.

[aroace-get-out-of-my-face]

Do you ever feel bad or embarrassed for being a fanfiction writer and reader? If so how do you deal with it? I usually don’t get weird about it, but I’ve been feeling kind of low recently. Feel free to ignore this!

Dude I get embarrassed about breathing sometimes.

Embarrassment comes free with your existence. To live is to constantly be putting yourself at risk for Embarrassment. Being At Risk of Being Embarrassed is just a constant state of being conscious and alive.

Also, we live in a society and current world where if we enjoy something, its considered embarrassing. As if we're all supposed to live in tiny little grey boxes without windows and never like anything ever and follow everything the government says.

I am constantly embarrassed about the fics I write and the stuff I read, the art I draw and the work I love to see. Constantly. There is and will always be some lingering voice in the very back of my head that says stuff like "God imagine if anyone saw you liking this."

And then I'll blink and look down and its like. A cartoon character. And I'll say to myself "alright asshole, so what?"

You remember that one comic thats "oh are you drawing a fursona? Thats cringe." "You're cringe!" That is how you have to deal with it. Enjoying something is infinitely less embarrassing than someone pointing and saying that someone enjoying something is embarrassing.

We all have to decorate our spaces. That can be literal, like we buy and make and trade posters and art and books and little action figures for our physical spaces of things we like, but also its metaphorical. We have to decorate our lives, our time,with things we like. You have to have something, could be ANYTHING, that you are excited about seeing in your life. We have to find joy somewhere, and some people may call those sources of joy embarrassing, or cringe, or childlike or whatever, and even you can find it embarrassing sometimes, but if it brings you joy then you need it.

Seriously speaking, I had someone in real life who I deeply care about ask why I was in Fandom spaces at all. Why tumblr, why get emotionally invested in anything thats fake, why care enough to spend time writing something people might not even read.

And my answer in the moment was to shrug and just say "I dunno, it makes me happy." And while I could elaborate, I think thats enough.

Yeah, I feed bad and embarrassed that a lot of my free time is dedicated to fictional worlds and so much of my ink and paper is given freely to writing ideas that pop into my head during my commute. But it makes me happy. It makes me enjoy the time, it helps me decorate my existence a little brighter. And, if what I create through some embarrassment connects with literally anyone else, and helps make them happy, then isnt it the most worthwhile thing in the world?

[aroace-get-out-of-my-face]

I LOVE LEMON FLAVORED THINGS PLEASE GIVE ME THE LUCKY LEMON COOKIE RECIPE!!!!

YES ABSOLUTELY HERE YOU GO

My tips for this recipe are,

One, mix the Lemon zest and white sugar WITH YOUR HANDS. stirring them is fine, but it really saturates the sugar when your hands heat up the oils in the lemon zest. Also, this step just smells. Amazing.

The yellow food coloring is totally optional, but it does make the cookies look that much more appealing. Without it the dough is a very pale sort of yellow, and it doesn't really convey LEMON. But that is just personal preference

During step three the batter will look sort of oily? That part always freaks me out its FINE. its just the zest and egg being weird, keep beating it at a higher speed, it will sort itself out

I like to chill this dough for as long as I can stand, but the longer the dough sits the better they taste, as the lemon has time to really set in. An hour or two is absolutely fine, but OVERNIGHT? the best.

FOR THE ROLLING STEPS. Roll the dough balls in the white sugar first, THEN the powdered sugar. The regular sugar binds the dough as a ball (and it bakes into a nice layer) and the POWDERED SUGAR is what gives the cookies the Crinkle bit. This rolling part is a pain, but the more powdered sugar is on the ball the prettier they look.

I just realized its kinda dumb to just post a picture of the recipe and not. Like. Write it. So I slapped it under the cut with steps!

HAPPY BAKING THESE COOKIES ARE SO DELIGHTFUL

Ingredients

2 lemons zest

1 ¼ cup granulated white sugar

½ cup butter (softened)

1 lemon juiced (I often just squeeze both the zested lemons, but it does make a VERY STRONG lemon taste, your preference)

2 eggs

Vanilla Extract (you measure that shit with your heart, but it's like. One?? And a half? Teaspoons?)

2-3 dots yellow food coloring (optional)

2 cups flour

¾ TEASPOON baking powder

¼ TEASPOON baking soda

½ powdered sugar (for the rolling later)

Steps

1. Mix lemon zest and granulated sugar together with clean, dry hands. (Smell that mixture its a LOVELY smell.)

2. Cream the butter and lemon sugar together until pale and fluffy

3. Scrape bowl and add eggs, lemon juice and vanilla extract and beat until smooth. (If it looks weirdly oily, keep going)

4. Add flour, baking powder and baking soda. Stir until there are no more flour streaks

5. Chill your dough (I usually just slap it in a Tupperware container)

6. PREHEAT OVEN TO 350. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper

7. Roll dough balls in granulated sugar and THEN in powdered sugar. Its okay to go back and recoat it if it looks sparse.

8. Set on baking sheet two inches or so apart, I usually do 9-12 per pan

9. Bake for 10-12 minutes. Watch the first batch carefully, it may take a little longer for the edges to brown. If you see brown on the edges, take em out. The second batch will bake faster

10. Smile and Enjoy!!!

[aroace-get-out-of-my-face]

"Oh E I sent you an ask a week ago why havent you answered it?"

I dont know whats real anymore. Your whispers from the dark corners of my eyesight haunt me. I see an ask in my notifications bar and click, only to hear it chuckle and dissappear on the wind. I see asks from September at the top of my inbox, then I answer it and the entire post is gone. There are things in the cabinetry that speak in riddles, repeats of asks long past, long answered, like warped reflections. There are so many horny puppet asks in there. I am reminded of old faces of those I miss and havent seen on my dash for months. I blink and they're gone. Someone sends an ask asking if their last ask was swallowed by the gaping maw of my inbox. They dont specify what ask they were talking about, and they're on anon. Demons swirl before my vision. So many are calling me bald. Wolves howl in the distance, and I look up to find that night has fallen. I check my inbox. There is not a single ask in it. A tear rolls down my cheek.

[aroace-get-out-of-my-face]

Id like to apologize for my previous. Uh. Multitude of reblogs. I had forgotten people have notifications on for this blog (why) and I had to end @canadianno-gravityfalls entire existence. Thank you for your understanding.

[aroace-get-out-of-my-face]

This is why i can never be a celebrity or personality. Or go into politics. I would say too much shit that ends up being a quote able meme and get in trouble

Also I KNEW. I KNEW SOMEONE WOULD CLIP THAT. DAMN YOU RED AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL ARTWORK.

[aroace-get-out-of-my-face]

Miss E, have you watched SFAWTDE/DAWTDE?

Wait where's my favorite image

I dont know what letters you're speaking at me babes I barely understand English 非常抱歉，我不明白。

[aroace-get-out-of-my-face]

Do you have any tips on how to plan a longfic? I have an idea but it's my first substantial fic

LORD I envy the people that plan longfics and do them. Ive found that everytime I plan something out like that or write it down my brain checks it as done and refuses to do anymore work for it.

I can say as someone who's planned other longform storylines that allowing yourself some room to wiggle and find the grove while writing is a life saver. Bullet points are your friend and planning chapters out is great, but allow yourself some grace and allow yourself room to be creative. Don't feel shame in expanding your story more! This is fanfic, if you need another chapter to really feel like your story has that depth, dont feel bad or hard on yourself about doing so.

My best tip for longform stories is that you have to have things to look forward to writing in each section. A dialogue line you're proud of, a description you're ready to get onto the document, whatever. Be excited about what you're doing, be happy at each rung of the ladder and you'll keep climbing.

The happiest of writing journeys to you my friend, best of luck!!