#eating loudly

[spaceytingz]

i’m in one of those moods where everyone around me is irritating me

[jakedadoge]

I literally cringe at people eating too loud.

[onlyforexpression-blog-blog]

Misophonia Coping and Me, perhaps you too.

(Warning; this is pretty long, so um, I'm sorry, heh. I hope it helps you though. You only really need to read the first example with the peas that I give and maybe the end, but I like to read so I'd read the whole thing, especially if it were on this topic and were someone else's post.)

Hey! I thought I'd put this out there for all the folks who have Misophonia as well. I have had it since I was about 7 or so, maybe younger. It was at its strongest in me from around 13-26ish. I am in my early 30's now.

I am going to share something that has helped me personally. I have a very empathetic personality and I'm an introvert who never wants to get in peoples way. The thought of having someone do something as the result of me (favor or evil action) bothers me and makes me feel guilty. I share this because you may have to have some of these traits for this method to work for you. Maybe not, maybe just being human is enough.

I have used empathy to over-ride my brains reaction to certain sounds. Now... I've noticed empathy is a powerful control for my brain. I can use it to my advantage.

One example of empathy totally changing something about me is something that my dad said to me as a girl when I wouldn't eat my peas because "I hate peas, so much". My dad, joking around replied with "they'll be sad if you don't eat them!". I understood he was kidding, but still trying to get me to eat them. Something changed inside me though. I thought about the fact that peas are food, and that's what they're for, etc (a childs thought process anyway). They'd be grown in vain if not consumed or planted. I began eating my peas with love instead of with hate. They tasted differently, they really did. I liked them. Amazing. How did my brain do that?

Onto Misophonia. My husband eats hotdogs in a way that enrages me. It still enrages me but it's much much less and I can actually sit next to him without asking him to stop. What happened was that I had asked him to stop a couple of times, to eat with his lips shut, etc. He became very hurt and explained "you don't hear me eating other foods like this do you? I have bad teeth and I find it very difficult to eat this quietly." He also added that he doesn't eat badly and sort of denied the whole thing and said I eat like him too. That bothered me. I said "you make a slimy sound, I am very careful not to". He said "I know, but you eat like I do". Honestly I don't know what he means, I think he just plain DOES NOT understand. Anyway, his statement that he simply couldn't eat a hotdog quietly (even he noticed that it was a little loud) made me feel guilty and apologetic. He legitimately can't help it. I stewed for a few days and the next time he ate a hot dog, it wasn't as "loud" to me. Sure it was the same volume, but it didn't pierce my brain and penetrate my rage nerve as much. OK, so this was for slimy noises!!

This one will be for crunchy noises. My mom got me a Barney and Friends video as a joke (yes I was an adult) because it was about eating manners. I don't remember exactly if Barney said "People can't help making crunching noises" but I really don't think he did. He spoke about eating quietly because it bothers people if you don't. He went through basic other eating manners, etc. BUT, he came to a part where he was talking about crunchy foods. He basically said that we shouldn't make crunchy noises. My hatred for Barney sort of sparked this rebellion side of my brain and allowed me to think about how it's freaking impossible not to make crunchy noises for some foods unless you eat it soggy. I was like "that's crazy Barney! That's not very sympathetic! People should be allowed to crunch crunchy foods!" and so I found myself shocked the next time people ate crunchy foods around me and I wasn't annoyed. It DOES bother me still when it's at a ridiculous level (which is still a tolerable level to most normal folks). It also bothers me when the slimy sound is with it. COME ON, slimy and crunchy? It's like they're doing it on purpose!!!!!!!!!!!!11one!!! But yes, the average crunching bothers me no longer. WOO!!

Slurping! Hey, so this one was VERY recent, like last year! Before my Misophonia became strong I would slurp my pasta loudly and loosely because I found it made it so that no sauces nor broth would splash my face nor those nearby, and also that it does a great job at cooling those longer noodles on the way in. Well, as my Misophonia took root in my brain, I slowly forgot about this infavor of a silent slurping method I had developed (I'm sure you have too, but try to twirl instead even with slurpy long noodle soups). I did the silent slurp for a few years before I got sick of the noodle slapping up on my face and flinging sauce; just like in Lady and the Tramp! So, years later I heard that in China loud slurping is common and preferred and sometimes considered rude if not used for the same reasons I had done loud slurping! So then, empathy kicks in and re-writes hatred for slurping over the course of a few months. It no longer bothers me now! How can I hate something reasonable? How can I hate something I did? How can I hate loud slurping which is part of a major culture and has been for a long time for practical reasons?

So, now only the slimy noise bothers me, but now it's not as bad. I'll sit there in rage, but I can keep from mentioning it, or I'll go lie in a fetal position somewhere if I can get away, lol.

Try to think about emotions that have caused you to change something about yourself, and try to use it to your advantage in over-writing that hatred. Maybe it'd work for you too.

(Wanted to add that these changes weren't all "lah-te-dah, I think I'll easily change"). Not any old situation will help it. It has to be a genuine empathy, etc. I don't want to sound like I'm trivializing Misophonia. I had tried so times to get myself to not be annoyed and 99.99999999% of they time, they didn't work.