#ed struggle

[la-dame-grise]

I’m like a reptile, I depend on my environnement to regulate my temperature and stay warm

[grunge-me-up]

Does anyone else kind of forget or jumble the numbers of their weight sometimes?

E.g. I was sure I reached a certain LW in my last relapse (2021), in my mind, it was like AB.C kg (each letter is a number, but it doesn't matter what numbers they are) but looking back at my weigh ins, I never reached that, I was at like AC.B kg instead? Just like mixing up the numbers, somehow, even though I was fixated on the number in my head...

You know what I mean? Wow, I'm really confused, or I didn't tag them correctly. I'm not sure.

[grunge-me-up]

How hard is it to get bowel movement up in here?!

[recovering-witch]

ed tw

Also, she just told me that I used to smell really badly and that I don't anymore and I remember super vividly the day she was like "you smell like vinegar, you're rotting inside, you gotta eat" and I have never felt as fat and embarrassed as I feel right now? Like, I'm WAY too healthy and huge and hEaLtHy now so I don't smell like I'm in ketosis anymore wtf I'm mad and super ashamed and omg

[recovering-witch]

tw: ed

I'm in a *very* normative body and I usually eat the exact same things every day... and move my body every day... but I'm afraid to do things differently because my sister eats whatever the heck she wants (bread, pasta, butter, sugar, oil) and there are days in which she doesn't move at all... and here I am, doing all these sacrifices, putting so much effort into maintaining a body I barely like and I'm barely, BARELY, smaller than her. like, why do I even bother? and I'm afraid I'll gain a billion lbs and become even bigger if I do, in fact, start eating the way she does and resting the way she does. it's so effortless for her, to look like that... it's not fair, idk

[women-are-not-public-property]

I've been reducing my portions to rlly itty bitty ones and I'm paranoid about getting fatter amazing how much I can hate myself