TW: SELF LOATHING AS A RESULT OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE FROM PARENTS
welp, ask and ye shall recieve, enjoy the happy ending to this
"Shut up." Steve snaps, making Eddie flinch.
Steve tensens, hearing the fierceness in his own voice. The fierceness ever present when he was popular. He loathes it.
They sit in silence for what at most is 10 minutes, but it feels like days.
Eddie breaks the silence. "I didn't mean it in the annoyingly perfect way I-"
"Exactly." Steve grumbles.
They sit for another ten minutes before Steve silently gets up to leave, cigarette in hand. He was so sure Eddie would see him properly, but no. He's like everyone else.
Eddie watched him exit the van and walk down the street. Steve's fine with that. He didn't want to be followed anyway.
What hurts the most is the fact Steve likes Eddie so much. He's kind, caring, beautiful- if anything, Steve thinks, he's the perfect one, not me.
Eddie's meant to be the one who can see through him. See his flaws, his insecurities, Eddie's meant to see through that confident act. For the short time Steve's known Eddie, he's done that. Every time those beautiful brown eyes gaze upon him it feels like hes being x-rayed with how well Eddie can read him, but that's gone now.
As soon as he's rounded a corner and he's far enough away from Eddie's van, he throws the cigarette onto the floor and stamps on it. He doesn't want to be perfect. He doesn't want people to like him. He wants people to see his flaws, and if his flaws are so bad that everyone hates him, so be it. He yells curses to himself before collapsing against a wall.
He's been keeping track of his flaws since he was young. He decided a long time ago that was the only way to keep him humble- or was it his parents who'd decided that? Steve can't remember. It doesn't matter anyway.
"Guess I can add tantrums to the list." Steve laughs to himself bitterly.
He rests his head on his knees, recounting all his flaws. His father's repeated them all to him many a time. His posture is terrible, he cries too much, he's too sensitive, he can't speak properly to authority, he acts like a girl, his manners are horrible, he's untidy, his grades were too low, he's an idiot, he can't even get into college- the list goes on and on.
"Disappointment." His parents' words echo through his brain. "You are a disappointment. Look at you. You've got such a fortunate life and you've thrown it all away. You bring shame to the Harrington name."
"I know!" He yells, standing up. "I fucking know!"
He feels the tears in his eyes and slams back down onto the floor.
"I know." He repeats to himself. "I know."
He hides his face in his knees and hugs his legs, tears running faster than he can wipe them away. Who cares if anyone sees him? Then they can see him as the disappointment he is.
He hears footsteps nearby, but he doesn't move. People in Hawkins are assholes anyway, they won't care. At most they'll berate him, and his head is hidden so well in his knees that if anyone he knows were to see him, they won't recognise him, not unless they'd seen him walk this way.
"Steve? Steve, honey, what's wrong?" a panicked voice says.
"Steve, it's okay, tell me whats wrong." He feels Eddie's arm around him and he flinches away from the movement.
"C'mon, look at me, babe, look." He usually loves Eddie's petnames for him, but this time it just makes his heart ache.
Eddie gently tips Steve's head upwards to look at him after a few seconds of unresponsiveness from Steve. Those stupid doe eyes just make him want to cry more. Why does Eddie care so much? He preferred it when Eddie didn't. Back when Eddie could see his flaws.
He feels anger burn in the back of his mind.
"'M not.. fuckin' perfect.." he mumbles.
"'M.. I'm not fucking perfect, alright?! I'm not perfect, I'm a damn disappointment, and you used to be able to see it, you could see my flaws, and now you can't okay? I'm. Not. Perfect." Steve yells, making Eddie flinch a little.
"Steve- is that what this is about?" Eddie questions, confusion clouding his eyes.
"Yeah, it is. You're the only person who's ever been able to be fucking real with me, you could always see I'm shitty. But now you can't."
"I- I'm not sure I understand?"
"Back in highschool everyone treated me like some sort of celebrity because I had money and popularity and they wanted a piece of that. I was perfect to them. If everyone thinks I'm perfect now, how can I be any different to back then?" Steve hears his voice break as more tears came flooding.
"Oh- oh Stevie-" Eddie says, pulling Steve closer into a tight hug. "It's okay, Steve, you're nothing that, I promise, you just-"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up. I don't want some stupid lecture about how I am actually perfect because I'm not, and for some reason no one can see my glaring flaws but me."
Eddie opens his mouth to protest but finds no words. He just complies and hugs Steve tightly, comforting him, letting Steve get it all out.
After around ten minutes, Steve's finally starting to calm down. His breathing slows back to a normal rate, and although his head is spinning, the tears have stopped.
Eddie cups his cheek. "I feel like I owe you and explanation for why I've treated you so different lately."
Steve narrows his eyes in confusion. "What do you mean?"
Eddie sighs and looks at the sky, leaning next to Steve. "Y'know how when you and Nancy were together you acted like she hung the moon?"
Steve hesitates, unsure of where this is going. "...Yeah?"
"Well, Stevie, it's like that."
Steve gives him a puzzled look.
Eddie gives him an awkward smile, the type of smile people give when they really don't want to have to say what they're saying.
"Love is a crazy thing, Steve. Makes you go mad. And it can make you see past all someone's flaws."
Steve's mouth goes dry. Surely Eddie can't be saying what he thinks Eddie's saying.
Eddie looks at Steve. "Steve Harrington, when I first met you I knew there was something up. I knew you were a conceited idiot, yes, but I also knew there was something else going on. But when we met again years later things were different, Stevie. You're a new man. You've gone from perfect in the way of a dumbass who gets everything he wants to perfect in a soft mothergoose way. But you're right, you do have flaws. The pressure you put on yourself, your lack of a healthy sleep schedule, your inability to take time for yourself-"
"I don't- what?- That's all wrong-"
"Speaking of which, stubborness." Eddie finishes with a smile, and Steve feels inclined to smile back. "I promise you, I know you have flaws. But I know that those flaws are much less intense than you've been told."
"And that's okay, I'll help you through that. Because, for all your flaws, Steve, you're pretty damn easy to get a crush on. And like I said, love can make you blind to flaws, which is why I treated you so differently. Why I said you're perfect."
"Eddie, you can't be serious right now." Steve's voice wobbled.
"Well I'm serious enough that if you don't say not to then I'll kiss you."
Steve immediately plants a gentle kiss on Eddie's lips, causing both of them to flush bright red.
Eddie loves him, flaws and all.
people who wanted to be tagged:
@youmakemyhearthowl @thesuninyaface @funnymagicman-named-dandy @samcoxramblings @pluto-21
