There were a lot of times that I asked myself why I am who I am today. During my early years in school, I never really understood why. I would always relate myself to my parents, siblings, or relatives. As I grew older, I slowly began to understand the true meaning of my character and my freedom to be who I want. This week’s topic really enlightened me and allowed me to understand myself more. I was able to know different aspects of myself that I never knew before. I was really immersed and interested about diving deeper about the nature of human development.
an old photo of mine during my screening for arts and design track
WHY AM I WHO I AM?
When I was five years old, I was an enthusiastic child. Always participating in activities, joining school-based contests, doing speeches, and confident in performances. My pre-school years were loaded with fun. I was eager to learn what I’m good at, my skills and talents, and to make friends from time to time. At the end of my junior high school year, I was someone who rarely interacted with classmates and new people, I was either with my friends or by myself. I’m more aware of my true self, ambitions, and goals. During my first day of class in senior high school, I never talked to anyone, it took me one whole week before I started communicating with my classmates. Still, I know to myself that I have more confidence in my mental capacity, skills, and other different attributes.
Looking back, there was a big contrast between my personality as a child and as an adolescent. As I grew up, my confidence to present myself in front of people lowered and lowered. This might be due to the fact that I wasn’t really raised or encouraged to perform in front of a crowd. We were also raised to always be humble. During my junior high school, I was content about knowing that I have talents and skills without having to share/talk about it with others or post it on social media.
I couldn’t really find that many similarities between me and my parents. One of my closest friends even said that I don’t look like them that much. The only thing I can think of was my handwriting. It resembles my mom’s small cursive handwriting and sometimes, it would look like my dad’s rigid-looking handwriting. But one thing that I learned/adapted to them was the love for movies. My dad watched a lot of movies and bought/collected DVDs. I grew up watching movies every day.
The environment I grew up in contributed a lot to my development. I am a very observant and curious person. I learned a lot through others perspectives, experiences, and ways.
HOW OLD AM I?
Age is determined by a lot of factors. You may be 32 but still think and act like a 25-year old, you may be 15 but appear to be 20-year old. I asked my friends about how they perceive my age from a biological and social perspective. Biologically, they think I’m just like my chronological age which is 19. I disagree a bit with this. Since the pandemic, I’ve lost a lot of weight due to stress, anxiety, and other factors. It’s been a long time since we last saw each other so they’re not much aware of how I look. This affected me greatly with my strength. I feel like a 15-year old can lift more weights than me.
Socially they perceive me as a 13-year old during casual times and a 30-year old when I give them advice. Honestly speaking, I agree with them. The way I socialize depends a lot on the situation and who I’m talking to. I’m well relaxed to talk with my friends, anxious to strangers, and formal around teachers or any work staff. Psychologically, I would say that I’m around 23. I have noticed that I am a bit more mature among my peers but still have the tendency to be a bit childish. It’s really hard to say, it’s not consistent.
Learning about the different concepts of age allowed me to reflect more on my personality and character. It also taught me to be aware of my roles and how I should act in the society accordingly with my age.
