The second screen cap is from this article which address some basic things people might say which are unintentionally offensive and/or racist.
One of the most off-putting questions I have ever been asked is, “Do you consider yourself to be Black?” To say that I was flabbergasted wou
Here’s a whole bunch more articles on unintentional racism and implicit bias and how “I didn’t know therefore you shouldn’t be offended” is not a valid response. Apologize and change.
• https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/04/unintentional-racist/
• https://pepcleve.org/news-events/unintentional-racism-taking-action-to-reduce-hidden-bias/
• https://uniteforchange.com/en/blog/racism/unconscious-racism/
• https://racismnoway.com.au/about-racism/understanding-racism/unconscious-bias/
My South Asian brother-in-law literally called me just the other week to ask how myself and my sisters turned out “not racist.” My response was that I wouldn’t call myself that. I strive to be not racist, but I am a product of white privilege within a white supremacist, colonialist culture. No matter how hard I try to understand these concepts, I will and I have made mistakes. I’ve learned how to respond and most importantly, I sincerely try.
The trick is to accept the responsibility for the fact that you fucked up, to apologize to the offended party who is absolutely allowed to be offended, and to educate yourself as to what you did wrong. That’s it.
If you have upset someone, the best way to rectify the situation is by making a sincere, heartfelt apology. But just saying the words
The difficult part of that is accepting the fact that your intentions in life do not matter if you don’t have the ability to self-reflect. If you can’t examine why the effect didn’t match your intentions negatively, you also can’t effectively do so positively.
And yes, we do the latter all the time - but we don’t always notice it. If you give someone flowers and their reaction is over the top joy, your gesture may have made them feel recognized in ways you had not anticipated. We see that, and it is what makes us continue to do gestures like that. Being able to consciously recognize what might have been going on in that persons life makes us more able to see it in others and change our actions. This shit always goes both ways.















