pov 1: you just spent an extensive amount of parabolan time reliving a key event of your brief life over and over and over. you know things now you didn't know then and you found out you preferred how things were, then. how you were. looking back to your bright-eyed lesser self only emphasized how so horribly detached from everyone and everything you are, and how the events you've witnessed between the 7th Coil and--
pov 2: Your horrible terrible deplorable spouse has entered the Waswood and stayed there for weeks. Bouquet - the double agent possessed warbler - had confirmed they were nowhere to be found, and the Waswood also shifted several times in the meantime. You've know for a while they were unsurprisingly attracted to that place, no matter how much they denied it, but it's the first time... it's the first time it took this long.
You are Poor Edward and you weren't worried about becoming a widow at all.
pov 2: And suddenly, here is what you've always longed to see, what you've constantly fantasized about: the bane of your life reduced to a pitiful pile of tears. You've planned out the steps in your head over and over for opportunities such as this one. Show yourself as someone that can be relied on. Show yourself as a pillar once more. This way they'll look at you when they need it most. This way they'll lower their guard. This way you'll be able to hurt them the way they deserve. You've planned it over and over and when the opportunity finally comes you find out... you aren't happy to see it? No--
something's wrong.
Why aren't you happy to see it?
...focus. You've been waiting for this for so long. This sniffling, the uneven breathing-- you can't possibly be glad they remain as quiet as possible even when crying? But you do suppose you always despised these noises. Maybe you just found out one thing this wretch isn't an exception for.
Focus and show yourself as a pillar they can rely on.
