@promethia-tenk and I have (for many months) been working on a sequel to The Song of Rowland, and we have finally posted chapter 1:
Edwin the Pagan
Summary: Edwin tries to take off his shirt and accidentally unravels his whole existence.
Or: In which two people who don’t write smut said: ‘You know what would be the perfect vehicle for exploring all of Edwin’s issues? Wedding night fic.’
Notes: Companion piece/sequel to The Song of Rowland. This time it’s Edwin’s turn in the wringer.
(Too late for the anniversary, too early for Paineland week, but well-timed for pride. Here, have some traumatised gay ghosts in love! 😘 🏳️🌈)
You’re in a relationship with Edwin, however, you’re feeling like you belong in second place when it comes to his best friend.
It’s my first time writing and posting, please be kind. Feel free to pm me at any time for anything. Enjoy, let me know what you think.
You and Edwin have been dating for more than 2 years. Two blissful, magical years. When Edwin finally convinced you to go out on a date with him, you never knew that one date would lead to this wonderful relationship and life that you two now share.
That’s not to say that you guys haven’t fought. Lord knows that that’s not the case, but Edwin made you promise him that you guys wouldn’t go to bed upset with one another. And maybe it’s your fault because you were only taught to suppress your emotions and never had a healthy relationship to compare this one with. On the rare occasion that Edwin did things that bothered you, you convinced yourself that it was all in your head and would never confront him about it.
This time you knew it wasn’t in your head. You’ve seen the way that she looks at him. Worse, you’ve seen that way that he’s looked at her. You recognize it, even if it has been weeks since he’s looked at you like that. He’s known her since they were kids and have been at each other’s side since. You remember the first time that you met her, nervous as all hell because you knew that if she did not approve, it would be the end of your relationship.
“You’re gonna love her Y/N.” Edwin gave you the biggest smile. “I can’t wait for my best friend and my love to finally meet.”
You smiled back at Edwin, for it was impossible not to when he looked at you like that.
“I’m sure I will love her, but I have to say that I’m nervous to meet her. Lucy’s your best friend, this is a big deal, right next to meeting your family.”
“Don’t worry about it. You already have met my family and they adore you. She is nowhere near as loud or threatening as they are.” He grabbed your hand and gave it a quick peck. “You ready to go in?”
When the two of you finally arrived at her doorstep for the dinner and movie night, you could see the smile waver on her face when she saw your link hands. Don’t get it wrong, Lucy was nothing but polite, and you guys had bonded especially over your love of art. You couldn’t help but feel out of place looking in at this relationship that your boyfriend had. You couldn’t exactly be upset, after all, they had been in each other’s lives for years, of course, they would be close. As the months went on, you felt as though you were intruding on their relationship, not the other way around.
Time and time again, she would call Edwin and he would go running towards her, regardless of what he was doing. If he was in the middle of practice, sleeping or even eating dinner with you. Several times. Why would this time be any different?
“She’s my best friend, Y/N. What do you expect me to do? Just leave her hanging in the middle of the night?”
Yet you have no problem leaving me. That tiny voice in your head is telling you. You shake your head knowing that if you only told Edwin that you needed him tonight, especially after the hard week that your boss has put you through, you know he would stay. Just tell him.
“Are you not going to say anything? You know what, I don’t have time for this. I have to go. Christ, Lucy must be freaking out. I’ll be back by morning.”
You watched as he grabbed his keys and hurriedly put on a jacket. You continued to watch as he walked towards the door, towards her.
No, you won’t be back. You couldn’t help but think that. Everyone in this situation knows that he won’t be back. That he’s only staying with you out of a sense of obligation. That he’s told you that he’s in this for the long run, and now he’s stuck in this endless circle.
Edwin froze. Turned towards you with confusion written all over his face. “What did you say?”
Shit, shit, shit. You’ve already started, it’s now or never. You took a deep breath and kept your head down. You couldn’t bear to look at him, for you knew if you did you would lose all your strength and let this pass too.
“You won’t be back by morning. You’ll spend hours there and then text me at 1 telling me that you’re just going to spend the night at hers with a reason. A logical one, no doubt. One that will make me feel guilty that I feel the way that I do. But God, Edwin can’t you see? Haven’t you seen? How much you’ve been hurting me?”
You hear his footsteps come closer to you and hear his deep sigh.
“I’m not going through this again with you. How many times do I have to tell you, she’s my best friend? I can’t just leave her when she’s going through a tough time. She was there for me when I needed her, and you can be damn sure I’m going to be there for her when she needs me. I’m not just gonna abandon her every time that you get insecure. If I’m telling you the truth, why do you consistently argue with me about it?”
“I’m not saying to abandon her Edwin, I would never put you in that position. I just want you to admit that you’ve gone missing in our relationship! When was the last time that we just hung out? Just is two, having a full night together? I can tell you, it was months ago, and even then you left early because you remembered to have plans with your best friend, and God forbid you to postpone them to another time.”
“Are you really that insecure? I’m still with you, aren’t I? I’m still in our apartment most nights, share the bed with you. I’m still here with you, why are you making a big deal out of this? Sure, I’ve missed some time with you, but does it even matter? I swear you love to try and make me look like the bad guy. You don’t see me making a big deal about you hanging out with your friends?”
“Edwin those-”
He was on a roll, he wasn’t going to stop until he felt heard. “Fuck, you should probably hang out with them more since you’re being so damn clingy. Maybe she was right, I should break up with you. I don’t even know why the hell we’re even together.”
Edwin immediately froze. It felt like everything around you froze.
“Y/N.” He took a small step forward. When you didn’t move from him, he took advantage and closed the distance that remained between you two and brought you into his arms.
“I didn’t mean to say that. I’ve been under a lot of stress and I lashed out. I love you, you know that I love you right? The band has been arguing and management is being a bitch, and I’m worried about Lucy. I’m sorry, I love you, love this relationship.”
He just kept murmuring apologies and squeezing you. You couldn’t think. I don’t even know why the hell we’re even together.”
Eventually, he let you go and looked at your eyes. “I’m sorry you know that right? We’re okay, right? I won’t go to Lucy’s until I know we’re okay.”
He’s still going to Lucy’s. The woman who has talked to him about leaving you. Of course, he’s still going. She’s his best friend, she was there when you weren’t.
“We’re okay.” You gave him a small smile, despite the fact that it hurt you to do so. You couldn’t bear to be in the same room as him anymore. You would say anything as long as he left. Whether he knew it or not, this was not something that the two of you would easily recover from, if you recover from it at all.
Edwin beamed at you. “Great! I’ll only be gone for a little, I swear I’ll be back by tonight. I love you, you know that right? I love you.” He gives you a kiss on the lips. Before he could back away, you grabbed onto him and pressed another kiss on his lips, desperate to keep this one in your memories, for who knows how long it will be till the next one.
He smiles at you before grabbing his dropped keys and jacket. He walks towards the door and looks back at you one last time. You know what he’s waiting for, after all, he’s the other half of your heart.
“I love you too.”
He nods his head before walking out and closing the door behind him. Effectively shutting the door on this chapter of your relationship.
You bite your bottom lip as you try to hold yourself together. Even now, he’s gone to pick up her pieces and gently put her back together. And you?
. Later.
You just need a couple of minutes to cry and let it all out. You’ll sweep your pieces up and glue yourself together again later.
THANK YOU GUYS FOR 500 FOLLOWERS!!! Here. Have a fic.
Rating: T
Pairing: EdWin/Edward x Winry
Disclaimer: I don’t own Fullmetal Alchemist.
Word Count: 2022
Title: Shattered
Description: EdWin One Shot
Post-Promised Day reunion between Winry and Alphonse
A/N: I say this is EdWin, but it sort of isn’t maybe? I’m not sure. BUT it is definitely full of ANGST, so brace yourself. Request by anon.
As always, comments are always appreciated, and I hope you like it even if you hate it. (Sorry, not sorry.)
ffn || ao3
Winry
“Den, would you cut that out? There’s nothing out there!”
He barks at me in response. Or just in general. He hasn’t stopped barking for the last ten minutes, to be honest. Idiot overprotective dog. It’s just thunder!
“Fine,” I sigh. “I’ll open the door, so you can look and see that it is nothing.”
I shift the pot of stew Granny asked me to watch off the stove so it won’t ruin and turn to the door. Den looks up at me as I join him and then paws anxiously at the floor. Seriously, what has gotten into him? Maybe…something really is out there if he’s this agitated.
As soon as I get the door cracked the slightest bit, my dog has his head through the space and forces his shoulders after him, bolting out into the yard.
“Wait!” I yell as I run after him. “Den!”
My hair whips wildly around my face, making it hard to see. I grab at it with my hands, pulling it out of my eyes.
“Den, where–” I stop suddenly when I see him.
I mean, I think it’s him. Could it be? I can’t be sure. I…I’ve only ever pictured what he might look like. I blink and squint at the man in the distance. I’m probably just imagining things again. He could be anyone.
He takes a step closer, and Den pounces on him, knocking him back a step. Shit.
“Den, don’t—” I start.
“Den! Get off!”
I gasp at the familiar voice, completely forgetting about my dog. The man…he sounds just like—
“Winry! A little help? He’s—haha! Den, quit! That tickles!”
“A-Alphonse?” My soft voice gets practically swallowed by the wind. “Al, is that really you?” I shout.
“Yeah!” he yells back. “It’s me! Now call off your dog!”
“Al,” I whisper, starting toward him slowly and then breaking into a run. “Al!” I throw my arms around him, knocking my dog out of the way. “I—I can’t believe it’s you.”
“Surprised?” He grins, and I blink at the familiar but almost forgotten smile.
“Yes,” I murmur. But—Look at you!” I cry, taking in the sight of him, back in his original body. “You did it! I-I’m so happy!”
“Yeah.” He glances down at himself and looks back at me. “I’m a little on the skinny side, and I did have really long hair, but… It’s me.”
“I can’t believe you guys finally…” My words die out when it hits me. Something is missing. Someone. “Al…” I glance behind him at the empty road. “Where’s Ed? Isn’t he with you?”
Something flashes across his face, but I can’t make it out before he hides it again.
“He’s coming,” he says quickly. “He got held up at the train station, but I couldn’t wait to see you…”
“Oh.” I frown slightly.
That doesn’t exactly sound like them—splitting up like that. But Al did just get his body back. Maybe it isn’t that weird.
On the other hand, I heard something in his voice. Some strange…lilt or something. His face might be new to me, but his voice has always been the same. Which is how I know something isn’t right.
“Do you think we could go inside?” he asks suddenly, the strangeness still hidden in his words. “I think it’s going to rain soon.”
“Yeah,” I murmur, still searching the road for Ed. “Granny left me to watch the stew. It should be ready if you’re hungry.”
“Starving,” he laughs softly. “I haven’t eaten a good meal in years.”
I let out a small laugh at that and lead him inside, trying to ignore the unease in my belly.
“So, Winry.” Al turns to me after he’s set aside his bowl. “What have you been working on?”
“Oh, this and that,” I answer him distractedly, my eyes moving around the room only to settle on the door.
Again.
My nerves are on end about seeing Ed again. Every time the wind blows, I think it’s him. God. Shouldn’t he be here by now? What exactly held him up? I glance at the clock and my heart trips. It’s been over an hour. That can’t be…
“Oh, like arms and legs?” Al pipes up. “Or knees and elbows–”
“Al,” I cut him off. “What’s going on?”
“Wh-what do you mean?” His voice pitches. “Nothing is–”
“Where is Ed? You said he was coming, but he isn’t here, and…”
His face falls, and I see him blinking rapidly. Like he’s trying not to cry.
“Winry…” his voice cracks my name in half, like he’s talking around a lump in his throat.
“Alphonse,” I whisper, trying to control my panic. “Tell me. What happened?”
I watch him swallow, and his jaw clenches. His hand grabs the spoon on the table and squeezes it tight in his fist.
“I… He…” He turns his head, and I feel a chill spread through my chest.
“Where is he, Al? Where…where is Edward?”
“Gone,” he finally wheezes. “He’s gone.”
“Gone?”
No. He can’t mean… That can’t be right. He promised—
“On the Promised Day, I exchanged my soul for his original arm and was reunited with my body. I didn’t see what happened after that until suddenly I was back in Central. Father and the homunculi were gone, but so was brother.” His voice cracks in time with my heart, and I gasp.
I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. Like I can’t breathe right. My lungs hurt, and I feel cold all over. And like I’m not really here. Like I’m in some terrible dream.
A nightmare.
“They said… They told me he said it would be his last transmutation before he disappeared. I think… He must’ve tried trading his alchemy to bring me back, but…it must not have been enough.”
Oh God.
No. He doesn’t mean… Ed can’t be… I… I…
“Winry…” He meets my eyes slowly, and I see his are ringed with red and brimming with tears. “I’m so sorry.”
“No!” The scream tears out of my throat, and I jump to my feet. “No, no, no!”
I spin around, running for the door. It can’t be true. It isn’t! It’s not—
“Winry, no!” Two thin arms lock around my waist and haul me backward. I start to fight, but my energy drains instantly, and I crumple to the floor.
“He promised!” I sob, clutching at Al, who is kneeling beside me. “H-he promised!” My wail echoes through the house as I dissolve into tears.
Tears he promised I would never cry.
I weep until my body aches, and my throat is raw. Until I’m too tired to continue. I barely have the strength to stand, but somehow, I make it to my room and fall into bed.
I dream about Ed. All the times he pissed me off. Or made me smile. When he teased me about automail or started yammering about alchemy. I see his brilliant smile. Feel his hands touching mine. He could be really gentle, when he wanted to be. God, I can practically hear him calling my name.
But suddenly, I can’t find him. I look everywhere, but I can’t—
I wake up with tears on my face. At first, I don’t understand why, but after a second it comes crashing back to me. The cold, weight settles in my chest, and my stomach churns. I swallow bile and glance across the room where Al and Den are curled up together on a cot. A sad smile tugs at my lips. They were watching over me.
I feel a single tear slip down my cheek, but I don’t bother to wipe it away.
How could he do this?
I mean, I know he did it for Al. That he would do anything—give anything for his brother. I just never really thought… I never let myself truly believe he might not come back.
To me. That he might not come back to me.
And now…
“Winry.” Granny’s voice surprises me.
I look to the door to find her leaning on the frame. Glancing again at the sleeping boys, I slide out of bed and follow her out into the hall.
“Granny, I…” My lip trembles, and I bite down on it, squeezing my eyes shut.
“You don’t have to say anything, dear,” she tells me hoarsely. “I just wanted to check on you. I… I know you and Edward were close. Closer than you led others to believe.”
More tears build behind my eyes, and I feel my throat start aching.
“I…I can’t breathe,” I confess, hugging my stomach. “He… I can’t just let him go.”
Her eyes travel over me, and she reaches for my hand. I want to scream. Or run away. Or…die.
I mean, I don’t really want to die, but… How am I supposed to just…keep going without him?
“You need time,” Granny speaks up softly. “Grief is… You have to let it run its course.”
I don’t tell her how stupid that is. How I don’t want to grieve. To hurt like this. To just accept that Ed is gone.
Forever.
“I want him back,” I hiss.
“I know,” she murmurs. “So do I. And so does Alphonse.”
Oh God. Al. He probably feels worse than I do, though the sharp pain in my chest makes me doubt that somehow. But if he’s anything like Ed, he blames himself, and—
“It’s not fair!” I sob, burying my face in my hands. “It’s just— It’s just not fair!”
“No. It isn’t,” Granny agrees gently, and pulls one of my hands into both of hers. “You need to rest, Winry. And after you’ve had time, we’ll discuss what to do.”
What to do? About what? About Ed? Getting him back? Or—
“I had been considering whether or not you might want to go back to Rush Valley, but… I don’t know.”
I blink at her. She wants to send me away? From Resembool? From the place where Ed and I grew up? Where all of our memories are?
“It was just a thought. And, the change of scenery might be good for you…after this news, but it’s much too early to make a decision right now. You need time to recover from the shock.”
I let out a slow breath. Of course, Granny didn’t mean anything by that comment. She’s just looking out for me. Like she always has. And she’s right about it being too soon. My head hurts just thinking about this.
“I can’t…” I pause and take a shaky breath. “I’m going to lie down.”
She nods, and I turn back toward my room. I glance down the hall at the room Ed always stayed in. I consider sleeping in there instead, but ultimately decide against it. It hurts too much…
When I sit down on my bed, I feel Den jump up next to me. I pull him into my arms and rest my forehead against his, closing my eyes. A few seconds later, another body sits down on my other side. I glance over to see Al staring at the wall across from us.
“I…I miss him,” he confesses flatly. “Do you mind if I sit here for a second?”
“No.” I shake my head. “It’s okay,” I whisper, taking his hand.
“It’s just…you’re the only one who is hurting as much as I am,” he murmurs, clutching my fingers tightly.
“Yeah,” I whisper. “And…for the record, it’s not your fault.”
I hear him suck in air, and my chest constricts.
“The only thing he ever wanted was for you to be whole again,” I remind him. “So, he would be happy.” My voice breaks, and I rest my head on his shoulder.
“Yeah. He would.”
“I’m really glad you’re back, Al,” I tell him softly. “I’m just also…”
“Shattered,” he finishes for me, and I shut my eyes as new tears escape.
We don’t say anything else, but it isn’t long before I get tired and move to lie down. Al sits next to me as I fall asleep again, still holding my hand.
This time, I dream of all three of us. We’re together and happy. Playing catch with Den in front of the house. And for a minute, I don’t feel pain.
