So I figured out my old piece of shapewear has a very conveniently tight crotch.
I put in my girthier toy, and then put on the shapewear.
I can push and push and push and the tight crotch pushes it right back in the second I relax for a second.
I've pushed so much I'm exhausted, and I can feel my inner muscles getting weak.
I changed positions- on my back, on my front, on my side, on my hands and knees, a deep squat, a moderate squat. I can't push it out.
I'm so full, it feels deliciously low and wide, stretching me open but impossible to budge.
I want to bloat and try this again, think about how huge I am, all full of eggs, trying and trying and failing to birth even the first one. Gonna walk around the house as big as a whale, just feeling how it rubs against my walls, trying so hard to push, but failing and thinking about how I'll be like this forever, unable to birth my eggs, huge and uncomfortable and painfully hard about it.
Sitting in my favorite chair and trying to push is euphoric. I can feel the strain, grip the arms and push with all my might, and know it'll never come out like this.