#eggsandbeer

[visceravalentines]

for the fanfic wip thing ... got the word "tight" hiding somewhere in your drafts? 🫢😊

"Now obviously, I’m gonna split that tight little ass in half.  No question about that."

this is one of 19 instances in just the one wip sdlfkjsdlfkjlskd help

[bisexual-horror-fan]

First of all, congrats on the 2k!! So happy to see you get the recognition for some damn good writing that you more than deserve.

For the raffle, I humbly offer this prompt: having Leslie Vernon give you the reigns in the bedroom. He might like feeling full control (or most of it), but what if Y/N learned how to push the buttons and make him fold like an omlette? What if they found every spot on his body with their mouth that he tries to evade from only because he knows theyre sensitive and it'll make him shiver, and let them do whatever they want so long as they keep that up? What if he looks at their expression when they realize they've got him and consider he might like that side of them far more than dominating it out of them? Maybe he even likes the idea of what that face will look like after he gets it back.

Okay, that's all hahaha! Congrats again Bex my love ❤️❤️❤️

Ahhhhh! Riri! Thank you sooo much, I am so fucking happy that you asked for this! Been a minute since I have done our boy and this is such a fucking great prompt! I hope you like what I did with it! I went in and tried to make it hit really hard in a short little bit, for real I hope this all works for you! Let’s not waste time, let’s get right into it.

—

Rating. Mature. Leslie Vernon X GN! Reader. No Pronouns Or Specific Parts Mentioned. Warnings: Softness. Established Relationship. Survivor Person Reader. Blood. Gore. Violence. Intense Emotions. Kissing. Needy Leslie. Begging.

—

Touch Me There.

—

Leslie Vernon is without a doubt the most observant person you've ever met, hell he might be the most observant person currently alive today. His ability to understand people, key into individuals emotions and pick up on even the smallest details was unmatched. 

It could be scary how good he was at reading the average person but the way he was able to read you has the opposite effect. You loved that quality of him.

You wished you could return it in kind and for the past, longer than you'd care to mention, you watched out for an opportunity to do just that. The longer you are together, the easier he is to figure out, the more he lets you in. 

The physical side of your relationship is incredible, truly, again with how observant he was he figured you out quickly. He could ruin you so easily and you wished to do the same and slowly, over time, you began to figure him out too. Once when you were walking together outside in the orchard, hand in hand, he was talking about preparing for something, he went to pull away and you let go, letting your fingers ghost over the inside of his wrist and you caught it. Almost imperceptible, this slight, you’d almost want to call it a shiver and a shift of his expression.

Interesting reaction. 

You wondered if that was a one off, maybe it was a fluke or the cold or any number of things. 

Except a week and half later you discovered that was not the case. Leslie and you were sitting on the couch, both relaxing on opposite ends and reading, it was almost lunch time and you were getting hungry and you wondered if you should go make something for you both. You finish your current chapter before sliding your bookmark back inside and looking over to Leslie, “You want something to eat?”

He looked up from his book and then to his watch, “Shit, it’s almost noon. Yeah that would be good. Thanks.” 

“No problem.” You got up and set your book down before coming around the back of the couch, you leaned down to give him a kiss and instead of one of the more usual places, his forehead or cheek or even kissing his lip upside down. No, instead, your lips barely had the chance to press behind his ear, almost as if just your warm breath there set him off and made him jump nearly a foot. “Woah, woah! What are you doing?!”

He turned so fast, his book dropped and his place lost, one of his hands on the back of the couch, looking up at you, wide eyed and you were so startled by his reaction you jerked up. A hand on your chest as you said questioningly, your tone rife with confusion, one eyebrow raised, “Kissing you?” 

He said, “Oh, yeah, sorry, you just uhm-I wasn’t expecting it, sorry.” He shook his head and picked up his book, a deep inhale before letting it out as he attempted to find his place once more. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him this bothered. His breathing was a little uneven too, this is weird, you scared him? You seriously doubted that. Obviously there was something else at play here. 

“Ooohhh-kayyy.” You say drawn out as you pull away, “I’m gonna go make lunch now.” 

“Uh-huh, I’ll be here.”  He was refusing to look at you and his voice sounded off.

Hmm.

You make lunch and by the time you come back with lemonade and a plate of sandwiches he had seemingly calmed down and acted like nothing happened. You chew thoughtfully as you watch him, he was talking about the latest chapter he just read in his book, you were listening, nodding along but in the back of your mind a plan taketh shape. 

This couldn’t be rushed but you wanted to do this sooner rather than later. You play it just like Leslie would. Biding your time until just the right moment presents itself for you to take advantage and turn the tables. 

One morning when you wake up before he does, early morning light pouring into the upstairs window, you look upon him, so sweet and peaceful and you think that this might just be the time to make your move. He had his back to you and you scooted closer, eased nearer, he was in just his pyjama pants, strong shoulders and back on display. You press your chest to his back carefully, you gauge his reaction, he still seems asleep and so you move. You lean in, your lips press and you kiss that same spot you had unintentionally discovered, right behind his ear and you swear you feel him tense slightly. You kiss again and again and he shifts, he tries to roll onto his back and you hold him there. Your hand on his side, your tongue traces over that spot and you feel him jolt, a sharp inhale and yes, he is awake now. 

He turns his head, eyes barely open as he looks over at you, “Wha-?”

His voice is still thick with sleep, he is weak and tired, you need to ramp this up, you reach out and your hand closes on his wrist and you bring it towards you. Maintaining eye contact with him you kissed the inner part of his wrist and his expression shifts, like he is still confused, trying to figure out what you were doing but in his still sleep logged brain like he couldn’t comprehend it quite yet. 

A few more soft kisses, another pass of your tongue all while staring up into his eyes and he exhales hard. It is like his mind is finally starting to catch up, he starts to squirm, you need to bring it home. You leaned up, kissed him hard, he stilled for a moment and you kissed down the line of his jaw and neck. He was on his back now which was perfect, you kept moving down and he was starting to shift again, his hands met your sides and he said, “Slow down, what are you do-”

Since he wasn’t wearing a shirt it made this next part easier. You manoeuvred down his body, he wasn't fighting you that hard, clearly he was enjoying this more than he was willing to admit yet, your lips dragging down until you reached your desired destination. 

The long, jagged scar that creeped up the first few bottom ribs on his left side. Your lips met the edge of it and he stopped. Body totally frozen and his eyes darted down to you. Still looking up at him. Your fingertips skated over him, tracing the edges of it as your mouth moved in tandem. You kissed up one side as your finger and the edge of your nail dragged down the other. He shivered and the feelings hit him all at once. A total wash of pure emotion. 

It was like being transported back to that night. 

You in your muddy, ripped and bloodied clothes, him having you pinned under him in the moonlight near the orchard, you fought so hard. You screamed and swore and spat at him as his hands finally found purchase around your throat and he began to choke you but you didn’t stop. You took hold of a weapon, of his weapon on his hip and you moved quickly, you plunged it into him, penetrated him and it stole his breath away. All the air left his lungs and his fingers loosened their grip and your leg came up, foot finding his stomach and you kicked and kicked hard so he was on his back. The sickle still lodged in his side. You grabbed hold of the wooden handle and you pulled hard, dragged it down, giving him the very scar that you were now tracing with utter love and reverence. 

You were something special, he knew that, it was why he chose you but seeing you in action that night, how you didn’t give up? Witnessing the change in you, the one that he set in motion, it was indescribable, it was everything he had ever hoped and dreamt of as he watched you. He remembered the sight of you looming over him, haloed by the moon as you held his weapon you had just ripped from his torso, dripping crimson in your trembling fist as you stared down at him, more rage and fury than he had ever seen in anyone’s gaze, before or since as you said to him, “Fuck you, Vernon.” 

He thought he loved you before that moment. He thought he loved you months before that but no, that moment right there he realised what true love was. It was you with dirt under your fingernails from when he dragged you closer, it was you running towards him unafraid and symbolic weapon in your grasp, it was you painted with blood, it was you, you, you. 

He had to stitch himself up that night and he enjoyed every stab of pain and pass of thread as he did and the entire healing process too. It scarred beautifully. A memento of your first night together, when the real change happened, when you started to feel so intensely for him, he saw it in your eyes, saw it happen, the confusion, the trepidation, the awareness that you shouldn’t feel what you did for him, the anger. 

It was all so much. 

He loved this scar, adored what it meant and represented for both of you, of your journey and his, where you were now, your relationship, this scar was a representation of it all and it meant more to him than any other mark on his body. It was more important than any possession he had, the first thing you ever gifted to him and a gift that could never be taken away or stolen by anyone. One of a kind and all his.

So to have you here, worshipping his body, worshipping it, seeing a similar amount of depth and meaning in your eyes that said you understood? 

He was weak, so smitten and so taken and so in love with you. It felt amazing, from a mental, emotional, spiritual and yes, a physical standpoint. He knew what you were doing now, he knew you were exploiting his weak spots, he knew you were trying to gain the upper hand but it felt so fucking good that he gave in.

It reminded him of that night, you dominating, being in control, and fuck, he liked it, he liked it far too much. 

He briefly wonders why this hadn’t happened sooner, his body going slack below you, melting into the mattress. One of your hands found him achingly hard through his pyjama pants, palming him as he breathed into existence his one current thought and want, “Please, don’t stop.”

[candyredterezii]

i'm so bummed i didn't watch repo! when it came out because i watched it for the first time like a month ago and loved it but if nine year old me saw that shit she would've been obsessed. like 'come on guys let's play repo during recess no one be nathan i want to be nathan' obsessed lol

HONESTLY

ive been meaning to watch it for YEARS but it takes me ages to watch shit unless im like. forced.

i saw the dvd for like 5 bucks at my local video store that i scour for cheap horror movies all the time and decided

yk what? fuck it okay

and finally watched it and im obsessed .. i wish i saw it sooner but im glad i did now <3

[bisexual-horror-fan]

OOOOO BEX YOU INVITED ME TO GIVE YOU POLY!DANBERT AND THAT I WILL GIVE. ok so...herbert is usually the one being the unhinged leg of the tripod while dan and reader are sorta like 'please stop' but. i am in love with the idea of reader and dan being the goofy legs, if that makes any sense... like, the radio comes on and they start singing along to some stupid 80s song instead of helping their boyfriend assemble some fucked up corpse or whatever he wants to do that week. if you need more info let me know but i also trust that you can work your magic no matter what ❤ thank youuuu ilu

AhhhhHHHHHH! RIRI! MY BELOAFED! SO! Oh my GOD! This is so exciting! Writing something officially for the first time for a friend and moot is always so much fun! Especially for a moot and friend as special and talented as yourself! I had a lot of fun with this, just got real silly, domestic and fluffy with it, hope you all enjoy it! Also you are so welcome and Ilysm2 Riri!

—

Rating. SFW. Length. 2.2K. Herbert West And Dan Cain X GN! Reader. They/Them Pronouns. Poly!DanBert. Warnings: Mentions Of Previous Movie Canon Hurt. Blood. Fluff. Drinking. Domestic Life. You and Dan Are Ridiculous. Herbert Is Tired. Singing. Dancing. Silliness.

—

Let’s Hear It For The Boy.

—

By all accounts the relationship shouldn’t work. Hell it doesn’t even make sense really to anyone else, but who cares about what anyone else has to say about the three of you? I mean they weren’t IN your relationship, you were!

Dan was looking for roommates and both you and Herbert responded, there was a whole house to share after all, you were hoping to just get along with them. To not hate their guts and be able to keep the place running smoothly without having constant fights about the dishes needing to be done or over who can do their laundry when.

You got so much more than that.

Both bad and good.

The bad of course being Herbert dragging you both into his mess with re-animation and all of the fallout that happened with that where you all barely made it out with your lives. If it wasn’t for the three of you being such a united front you are sure it would have turned out much, much worse.

The good is how well you all clicked and how much you all bonded after what happened at the hospital. Nothing bonds people together like horrible secrets, lying to the cops and narrowly escaping death!

It was during that time back at your shared house, all still very physically broken and let’s be honest, a little mentally broken as well, that you managed to come together for one another. Helping out when needed, if someone was having a particularly rough day the others would pick up the slack and just somewhere along the way it just kind of happened, you all fit together and were the only three who understood what you all went through.

Not to mention your similar career paths, schooling and aligning interests.

Things came together easier once that happened, things got lighter, sweeter, and more than that, were built back better than before with the now much stronger base you three had built.

One thing that really helped you and Dan was indulging yourselves in the smaller pleasures of life. Taking enjoyment in the everyday, the joy of just living together, being around each other, doing dumb bits and telling stupid jokes, cooking together and of course the ever changing and difficult task of keeping Herbert in check in regards to his work.

But you all managed, more than that you were kind of thriving, life was fucking good right now.

While ultimately Herbert was happy you two were becoming so close didn’t mean he got it or was any less confusing when he stumbled in on some of what you two were doing to entertain yourselves.

Like coming up from the basement to find you and Dan in the living room, empty drink containers around, pleasantly on the other side of tispy and watching some awful looking made for TV movie. You were on the couch and Dan was sitting on the ground in front of the coffee table, between your legs, leaning against you, your hands were busy, tongue poking out of your mouth as you focused on your task, deep in concentration.

Herbert stood there for a moment, just watching you before breaking the silence and asking, “What…Are you doing?”

You looked up and a smile spread across your face, “Hey Herbert! Hey Dan, look Herbert’s here!” Your hands still buried in his hair you tugged and tilted his head up and Dan gave a smile of his own, a wave with a call of, “Heyyy-”

You had your hands in Dan’s hair, but that wasn’t the only thing to be found there, several clips and sections of it with hair ties, and God knows what else. Hebert took a tentative step into the room as he said, “Hello. I reiterate, what are you doing?”

You rolled your eyes and with that same grin you said with a shake of your head as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “What’s it look like? I’m doin’ Dan’s hair, duh.”

“Yeah duh.” Dan snorted and Herbert sighed, hands on his hips. “Right, of course, how foolish of me not to realise.”

He looked at the half crushed and empty cans of Dan’s favourite beer littered about and hoped you both wouldn’t inlist him to untangle that mess before going to bed tonight.

He stepped closer and watched as you were trying to tie a small blue ribbon into one of the few untouched spaces of hair and failed to do so, fingers fumbling far too much to do such a small task. “Where did you even get this stuff?”

“What do you mean?” Dan asked, squinting up at Hebert and he responded, “I mean I’ve never seen either of you wear anything like this, did you buy it just for-” He looked you both over and finished the thought with a gesture of his hand waving over the whole scene, “-this?”

You answer his question, “No we didn’t buy it, we found this stuff.”

“Found?” He asked incredulously, and you fired back, “Yeah Herbie, found. In the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom upstairs.”

He ignored the nickname and said, “I can’t believe I have to detail the reasons to my adult partners why putting things you FOUND into your hair might not be the best idea.”

What you said next had Dan laughing into his current can of beer so hard he almost choked, “That’s rich. Advice on how to care for our bodies from the guy who main lines glow stick juice recreationally.”

Herbert looked less than amused as Dan was still laughing, “They got you there!” Dan said with a point, his other hand still cradling the can.

Before Herbert could begin to say that what he did with the re-agent was for science and research and finding the effects it has on already living persons can help further his work or before he could take offence to you referring to it as “glow stick juice”, you are adding on, “It was all still sealed in the package, okay DAD? That make you feel better?”

The way you said it and the whole scene finally got to him and he had to suppress a laugh before saying, “Fine, fine, so sorry, have fun you two.”

He began to turn to leave you two to your task when you sing-songed out, “We wiiiiillll-”

He figured that was enough until Dan finished your thought, “-need your help to get all this shit out of my hair later.”

Herbert sighed again, shoulders sagging, he knew it.

You both eventually stumbled your way to him, asking for help as you all sat on Dan’s bed, trying to have some care when pulling the mess of hair accessories from his roommate/partner’s hair while you leaned your head sleepily on Herbert’s shoulder. He acted put out and annoyed and yeah sure he was, a little, but he had to admit he likes you both needing him, even if it was for the dumbest reasons.

Another day he came home to find Dan trying to block Herbert’s way into the laundry room. He was leaning against the doorframe, and greeted Herbert who returned it easily, but Dan didn’t move when Herbert came close and attempted to open the door. He was looking up at him as he asked, “Are you going to let me in there, Dan?”

“Oh what do you need the laundry room for?” Dan asked and Herbert squinted at him before looking down at his blood splattered shirt and looking back into his eyes, “Why do you think?”

“Ahhh, c’mon, that?! I mean, that is like, barely a stain, it should come right out-” he licked his thumb and leaned in, wiping his white collared dress shirt and smearing more of the blood onto the shirt and Herbert knew something was up. He used this moment of Dan being distracted to push him out of the way and simultaneously open the door.

He finds you scooping up bubbles with a bucket and dumping them into the sink, pants rolled up to your knees and bubbles just, literally everywhere, clothing damp, your head snapped up and you said with as much casualness as you could muster, “Heyyyyy Herbert, what’s up?”

You and Dan were seated in front of him at the kitchen table Herbert standing in front of you, arms crossed and looking you both over.

He asked what you both were thinking and you and Dan were painfully honest, you wanted to see how much soap it would take to make the washing machine comically blow up ala vintage sitcom scenario.

Curiosity got the better of him and he asked what led to it. You said it was from an old episode of Three’s Company, Herbert shook his head as he said, “How fitting.”

It took over an hour to clean up the laundry room and towards the end of it, during a big bout of silence and steady work that Herbert broke it. He had to know, for scientific reasons he claimed, how much you used to get that reaction.

You beamed and reached over, swiping some bubbles from his cheek as you told him it only took one and a half cups.

Herbert then said before he could stop himself, “Really? I-...I thought it would have been more.” He asked and Dan said, “That is what I thought! I wanted to do two cups right away.”

It turned into a surprisingly fun afternoon.

Herbert was feeling stuck in his work. He’d hit a roadblock that had really stalled him for the past few days and it was endlessly frustrating him, no matter how many ways he attacked it, he just couldn’t come up with a solution. If he didn’t figure it out he was going to drive himself crazy.

You and Dan had tried to help as much as you always did but it just wasn’t working today, so you and Dan broke away to go and make dinner, give Herbert some time alone and also give yourselves a break too. Food might help too, brain fuel and all that.

He was alone for half an hour when he figured it out. No idea why but it just finally made sense and he came upstairs in a rush, to tell you both that he had it and needed your help as soon as possible.

He came into the kitchen to find you and Dan with the radio on, dancing around the kitchen with pots going on the stove top, both still in your scrubs from being in the basement with him. Dan noticed him first, “Oh, he’s outta the basement!”

“Look who decided to join the living! Gonna help with dinner, Herb?” you asked and he said, “Yeah looks like there is a lot of cooking going on." You stuck your tongue out at him and he pressed on. "But no, I figured it out!”

“No shit, show me?” Dan came over and Herbert was holding up some of those notes he brought upstairs, you left them to it, went to fuss with the radio as the song changed to one you didn’t like, looking for a new one you messed with the stations.

You can hear fragments of Herbert and Dan talking until you hear him give it up, “You really figured it out, we have to try this after dinner.”

Well damn, that was some great news.

As you hit a new station and heard the current song in progress it was just too perfect, “Well this is cause for some celebration I think.”

You turned up the radio louder and the song filled the space, Dan recognized it immediately and Herbert looked a little confused by what you meant until you started singing along. “Let’s hear it for the boy! Ah, let’s give the boy a hand! Let’s hear it for my baby-”

Dan’s own smile broke out and he came over to join you, taking your hand and you both singing along impassionedly to the radio, serenading your shared boyfriend who was still holding his notes, not as confused but not surprised.

He leaned against the doorframe as he watched you both, hand in hand, singing along way too enthusiastically, dancing with no discernible rhythm, more just having fun, trying to look as ridiculous as possible, giving it all and throwing yourselves into it.

“Oh, oh, oh, maybe he's no Romeo, but he's my lovin' one man show. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, let's hear it for the boy!”

As that last boy came out you pointed right at Herbert and he couldn’t stop the smile that formed on his face. He loved seeing you both like this honestly, having so much fun, after everything that happened having you both keeping things so light was really nice, helped keep him be a little less serious.

He normally reacted with a “Guy’s. Please. Stop.” but you and Dan being so amped about his break through was sweet.

In a stupid and funny kind of way.

But sweet all the same.

“Let’s give the boy a hand!” Dan was clapping along and you were holding your hands out for Herbert to join. He relented. Herbert threw his notes onto the nearby counter and with a roll of his eyes, a smile and the sigh of the world weary and put upon he took your hand and joined in on the ludacris scene as you and Dan continued to hype him up as the pasta pot on the stove boiled over.

None of you care or hear it over the enthusiastic music and cheers of “Let’s hear it for my baby!”

Life in your house was chaotic but hey the three of you could handle anything.

[bisexual-horror-fan]

💌 from Poly!Danbert, pretty please? thanks so much in advance bex 🥺💚

Ahhhh for the beloafed! Of course! Love to do a little Poly!DanBert moment! Hope you like the way I went about it, SFW Love Letter incoming!

---

Dearest-

Should we begin with ‘Dearest’? 

We are not doing it like this. And what is wrong with dearest exactly? 

Dearest is just so, what's the word? Obvious. Plain. Cliche’. And like what?

You are so picky! Also I mean passing it back and forth, and by passing it back and forth I really mean you ripping the paper out of my hands to write out what you want to say. How about we do this like a group project and I write the intro and you write the conclusion?

I didn’t even want to do this in the first place but fine, whatever you want. 

Anyway, Herbert is right, this was my idea. I thought it would be nice for you to get a little something while we are out of the country and away from you. I had to promise to do some things I’d rather not detail in this letter to get him to agree to this. You know him, he isn’t saying it but he misses you and being away even for a week and a half is taking a toll on him. Don’t worry, I’m looking out for him but accepting help in this regard has never been his strong suit. I am sure you are faring better without us, I know I don’t have to worry about you looking after yourself, I know you’re eating and sleeping properly. Point is, we love you,  we are missing you, thinking of you a lot and will be home soon. Passing it off to Herbert again, don’t expect a lot from him but keep in mind at least he’s trying. 

Dan’s lack of faith in me is truly startling and wounds me deeply. I am more than up to the task of writing a love letter. As if writing a few sentimentalities and waxing poetic is challenging. I could write about how the coffee you make always tastes better than Dan’s and that I miss your valuable insight into my work even if it is just you listening to me bounce ideas off of you. That when I do sleep, sharing the bed with only one person opposed to two feels inexplicably wrong now. That Dan is correct. I do feel just what he outlined that yes I miss you and love you. But really I’ve been writing this for almost ten minutes and have other things that must be done, see you in a week or so.

Regards Love, Herbert and Dan.

[bisexual-horror-fan]

i literally had a dream about Freddy trying to fuck my shit up (in the violent way not the other way) the other night and i literally turned to him in the midst of scrambling for my life and said "MY BUDDY BEX IS WAITING FOR YOU DUDE GO TO HER" 🤣 i'm doing my best to get you to have a good ass dream with him!! 💓

Oh my Godddd I love how you all try so hard for me! Multiple people have told me in dreams with him they have outright told him to come see me but he still hasn't! Like hot damn and yet he STILL doesn't come! And neither do I-

Thank you so much Riri, my beloafed I adore you!

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Hickeys & Dry Humping for the kink rating!!! ❤

Send me a kink and I’ll rate it!

No | rather not | I dunno | I guess | Sure | Yes | FUCK yes | Oh god you don’t even know |

[bisexual-horror-fan]

BEX YOU REMIND ME OF CHOCOLATE CHEESECAKE WITH THE STRAWBERRY SAUCE THAT LOOKS LIKE THAT BRIGHT MESSY 80s SLASHER BLOOD ❤😆

YES!

Hell yes Riri, amazing, fucking, so good. I love chocolate and cheesecake and strawberry, fantastic pick!