Sometimes I just want to give up.
Just give everything up. I don't wanna deal with my school anymore. Don't wanna deal my job anymore. Don't wanna continue fighting with Chrispy anymore.... (Even though we don't really have any big fights but just little disagreements/arguments.) I don't wanna deal with family drama anymore.... I just want to give it all up. Go somewhere in solitude.... Peace and quiet so I can have serenity. I hate waking up and dealing with the same shit... Every day....
Go to work. Deal with bitchass customers. Get yelled at for things I had no part of.
Go home and deal with family drama with my brother and shizzzzz.
Go to school and deal with bullshit there cause of financial aid and keep thinking about how I'm not going full time since I paid for my own classes and I only had enough for 6 units.
Think about friends and how they just avoid/ignore me.
Spend time with Babe then somehow get in a fight from either of my wrong choice of words, word vomit, something went wrong, etc.... Then we end up fighting and it gets tiring. (I personally think this is the only part where I think it's worth it to be tired from..)
Think about money situations and where I'm going with my life.
Get frustrated with my diet because I can't properly lose my weight that I want to lose and just constantly put myself down.
I'm tired.... Of all of it. I don't want to deal with any of these things for at least one day. All I want.....
Go to work and have a great day with no bitchy or rude customers, get acknowledged for something that I did, not super busy so we can get home at a decent hour.
Go home and have a conversation with my brother without awkwardness. (That's NEVER gonna happen.)
Go to school knowing and thinking that I'm doing the best that I can do on my own for now and it will get better.
Won't give a fuck about people who don't give a fuck about me.
Spend time with Babe and just have a great time together and just grow more together. (This is actually happening but there are some disagreements/arguments that I want to disappear forever cause they're all stupid.)
Be content with money and KNOW what I'm doing with my life.
Get back on my diet without any interruptions from work AND won't keep putting myself down but start thinking positively.
Yeah, these things will never happen because I'm a pessimistic and I know life isn't gonna be that easy for someone like me. I just gotta fucking deal with it like I've been doing and just keep on doing it.
