DAY 913
Jesus. Can a week go by when I'm NOT bitching about Urban Outfitters?
Guess not.
Because I regret the fact that they're selling THIS in their stores.
Yep. It's a cassette recorder.
A good, old-fashioned cassette recorder. But make sure to read the kitschy description some shithead wrote to get REALLY sucked in.
So, let me get this straight. You're selling me (or more correctly, Millennials) a dinky tape recorder that my teachers used in middle school. Which is able to play ALL the cassette tapes people my age dumped into a landfill 15-20 years ago.
Okay. Got it. So how much would some sad trust fund addict pay for something like this?
Gotcha.
I mean, WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA??????
I don't know. I didn't seem to have a problem when UO kept pushing out those stupid turntables.
So, why do I have a problem with some retro cassette player?
Maybe it's because certain outmoded technology just pisses me off. Like eight-tracks. What, is UO gonna try & make THAT bullshit trendy now, too?
FUGS BELFRY - Pardon me, but I don't care what you say. There are some audiophiles like myself who prefer the compact, perfectly synchronized timelessness of an eight-track.
ME - Look, dude, I hear you. But that shit is RANK. Whoever designed the eight-track was a masochist.
FUGS BELFRY - Oh, I suppose you're insinuating that the inventor of the Learjet & the automatic pilot was a masochist as well.
ME - Uhhhh, I don't think so. Am I?
FUGS BELFRY - They're all the same person, my pointy-headed friend. The one & only William Lear. Who, much to the chagrin of armchair historians & weekend trivia team slackers, was NOT the creator of Wonder Woman.
ME - "Pointy-headed?" Look, you dirty hippie......
FUGS BELFRY - Let me stop you there. The basis of your entire argument, regardless of your next point, is completely invalid. Because I'm sorry, if you haven't listened to Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" on eight-track, you've never truly lived.
ME - Really? What, does it make that album listenable or something?
FUGS BELFRY - Oh, I don't listen to these things. I just collect them.
ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND.....