you remember the first time you kiss her, or more accurately, the first time she kisses you. you remember the way she pulled you into her room, soft lips pressed to yours before you could even fathom what was going on. you remember the surprised cry dying in the back of your throat, you remember melting into the kiss. you remember that she’s your best friend’s sister, but you don’t care, you remember never having wanted anything more in your life. most all, you remember how all the voices in your head died as you kissed her back. it was the first time you felt yourself swimming to the surface underneath a sea of noise, shouting at you to do more, be more, to chase perfection.
and in an instant, it’s over. she pulls away with a smile and a mischievous glint in her eyes and, for a moment, everything is calm. then, it all comes flooding back to you. she’s your best friend’s sister, she’s your best friend’s sister. even if the both of you wanted to, there’s too many things in the way. you can’t, you couldn’t, and you shouldn’t. but even as you stood there, dazed and confused, a part of you knew that there would never be anyone else.
“i just wanted to see what it was like.”
“you’re josh’s sister, that can’t happen again.”
ii.
years pass by with more hidden kisses along the way, you can’t seem to escape and you don’t want to either. this girl is an angel, you can’t help but to stare at her like she put the sun in the sky. and somewhere along the way, you’ve become friends despite your own friendship with her brother. it comes in the form of photography, a quiet art form that no one else seems to understand but her. it turns into quiet hangouts in her room (the very same one where you shared your first kiss), yours (barren and free of mess compared to hers, robotic almost), and your living rooms (where your best friend and hers can see).
you nearly choke when she brings up the potential of her first time (and yours), she wants to be with someone that she trusts and someone who actually cares about her. if you don’t, some asshole will and you can’t rationalize letting her lose it to someone who’ll just carry the idea of it around like some sort of trophy. you can’t stand the idea of someone else having her, if you’re being honest, but you can’t tell her that. you can’t tell her that you’ve been in love with her since the first time the two of you kissed.
so you concede. the kisses start out tentative, you don’t subscribe to the idea that kisses should automatically be electric with fireworks. it’s simply not realistic. your first time is full of nervous laughter on both your parts and shaking hands (this one is mostly you). you want to worship her body the way that you were always meant to, but you’re young and dumb and you promise yourself if it ever happens again, you’ll know what to do next time.
afterwards, you leave because you know you shouldn’t have taken advantage of her like that. you leave, because she’s your best friend’s sister and you’re just not good enough for her.
iii.
you become her crutch, the person she calls in the middle of the night when her best friend isn’t picking up the phone, the person who is always there for her, no matter the circumstance. you become her best friend and you’re sure that she sees you as nothing else but that, it’s pure torture. but you love her and you want to be a part of her life for as long as she’ll have you, the least you could do is watch out for her.
which is how you find yourself parked outside of an apartment across town, waiting for her to leave someone else’s bed. the thought of it makes you clench the steering wheel tighter than before, but if this is what makes her happy, you would never stand in the way of that. you watch her exit the building and greet you with a soft smile, you can tell she’s grateful and tired. you can see the light flickering inside of her, like she’s at war with her thoughts as she climbs into your passenger seat. your leg shakes with anxiousness as you really look at her: she’s still an angel, but her halo is dim and you’d do anything you can to fix that. so you reach over and take her hand in yours, her gaze averting to yours at the touch. it’s automatic, the way the both of you lean into each other and the hungry way your lips mesh. even then, you can taste the alcohol and him on her tongue. you pull away before it becomes something the both of you will regret, but you grip her hand tighter.
“i don’t want to go home.”
so you drive all night with the girl you love, blasting music with the windows down just so you could see her smile again.
iv.
it’s late afternoon and you’re in her bed with polaroids strewn around the both of you, limbs tangled together as you blink away the sleep from your eyes. you know she hasn’t been feeling well lately, so you did what you always did and brought her favorite comfort foods and movies over with the offer of that and an impromptu photoshoot. she falls asleep after an hour into the movie, her face pressed against your neck and a hand on your stomach. there was no where else you’d rather be and no one else you’d rather be with, you’d stay like this forever if you could.
when her eyes finally flutter open again, the movie is long over and she gives you a lazy grin and a laugh. you’re suddenly glad for the privacy, because she looks so perfect then and there that you could kiss her. but you can’t take advantage of her again, not when she’s so vulnerable and soft in your arms. this is your best friend’s sister... and your best friend. you can’t ruin the friendship, you can’t risk the two most important relationships in your life because you’re in love with this angel of a girl.
but even then, you can feel her eyes searching yours as her hand creeps up to your heart. you know she can feel the erratic way it beats as your breath grows heavy, just like how her halo dims, yours does too.
and you sin. you achingly kiss the girl that you tell yourself you can never be with feverishly. this time, you taste the peanut butter cups you brought earlier, you feel the way she climbs onto your lap, you tell yourself this is the last time, and you feel yourself falling deeper and deeper.
how could something so wrong feel so right?
vi.
“what are we?”
this is a question you’ve never known how to answer, something you wish she’d never asked. she’s your best friend’s sister and your best friend. she’s the girl you’ve been in love with since the first time the two of your kissed. she’s the girl you see in your dreams at night. she’s the only girl you want to spend the rest of your life with. and you just don’t know how to tell her that you don’t ever think you’ll be good enough to be with her, you don’t know how to tell her that the voices inside your head are screaming at you to run because perfect boys shouldn’t want their best friend’s sisters.
you’ve never been the brave or courageous sort, you’re the voice of logic and reasoning in this ragtag group of friends you call your family. you know that telling her the truth will upset the balance that everyone has worked so hard to achieve, but you’ve spent your formative years and beyond holding this secret close to your chest. you feel like you might actually fucking burst if you don’t say anything now.
“i don’t know.”
that’s the best that you can choke out, your mind screams at you for this. after all, perfect boys should know everything. your heart, however, screams even louder. tell her, tell her, tell her, it shouts with every beat. if you don’t tell her now, you lose it all and nothing fucks you up more than the thought of watching her marry someone else because you were too much of a fool to say something when the both of you stopped trying to beat around the figurative bush.
“i don’t know, but i’m yours. i’ve always been yours, billie.”
and just like that, she’s running to you. you collide into each other again, a mix of desperation, joy, and relief. you crash into each other and the voices in your head fall silent again.
she’s your best friend’s sister, yes, but she’s also the love of your life.
cel & fletcher: [text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah. / [text] I can’t stop thinking about you. / [text] Come over. With condoms. / [text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous? / [drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated
cc: @hephaestuss
[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah
-you diiiid tell me before leaving for class i think!!!!-but thank youuu -you know i love you so much!!!!!
[text] I can’t stop thinking about you
-oh wow-me neither honestly-i just didn’t think it’d be the same for u or cara-when can i see you?
[text] Come over. With condoms.
-im in class rn!!!-ahhhhh in fact i’ll be over in 5-u know ive never missed class for sex, first time for everything right
[text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous?
-ohhhhh definitely adventurous!!-oh wait, this was an invite right?? i think-anyway if not feel free to never talk abt this w me again oh my god
[drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated
-what are you talking about??-i could never hate you-where are you, i’ll come pick you up
send 🎈 for our muses to go to a halloween party together
Reece has always been a friendly and social person. Back when he was in college, he was always hitting up the various parties that were thrown on or around campus. So it was no surprise to anyone that when he ran into an old college friend that he would receive an invite to his Halloween bash. Though, it was a bit surprising to those at the party that Reece had brought along Astrid. His old college buddies knew that when his parents passed away that he closed himself off for a bit, not wanting to close to anyone for the fear that he would leave his life unexpectedly, and focused his attention to taking care of his sister. They never thought that he would open himself back up. To Reece, he found it easy to let Astrid into his life. Very early on, he knew that she was just as damaged as he was. The only difference between the two of them was that Astrid showed that she wasn’t okay while Reece tended to hide it and bottle it up inside.
Before arriving to the party, Reece was very adamant that he and Astrid were to wear a couple’s costume, he wanted them to dress up as Jack and Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas while Astrid, on the other hand, didn’t want to do it at first but with enough convincing from Reece’s end she agreed. So here they were, at the party, with Astrid complaining how stupid she looked while Reece was smiling like an idiot, though it hard to tell considering that he was wearing a headpiece. As the party went on, Reece found himself throughly enjoying himself, though his friends noticed that he refused to leave Astrid alone by herself, he even stood outside the bathroom door at one point—to which he received countless amounts of teasing from.
Reece didn’t know what it was about tonight but he felt that tonight was the perfect night to finally confess his feelings towards Astrid. It’s been months since the two had began hanging out and during that time frame, he slowly started to fall for her. Despite Kira reassuring him that Astrid felt the same, he was still didn’t believe it. Once Reece found the perfect opportunity, he dragged the two of them out onto the balcony that faced their city’s skyline and took off the headpiece he was wearing. At first, there was a comforting silence between them until Reece found the confidence to begin speaking. “Sunshine, you are truly one of the greatest people I have ever encountered in my life. I’m so grateful that you were willing to spend time with me these last few months, even though I know at times I can be a bit much. But something’s happen Astrid. During those times we’ve hung out I slowly started to gain feelings for you. I really really like you. And I get if you don’t feel the same but I just had to let you know what I feel. Though it would be rad if you like me too, but if not that’s cool too.”
for every ‘@’ sent (anon or not) i will mention and post some positivity about a fellow tumblr user
@i-ng I’ve known you for a really long time (I mean, we’re talking at least four years here, right?) and although there were times when we didn’t talk as much, we’ve managed to stay in touch nevertheless. Despite your personal struggles and hardships, you’ve always had a sympathetic ear for my problems and cheered me on during some really difficult times when nobody else would. The summer you came to visit was undoubtedly one of the best three weeks I’ve had in a long time. I love you, hun, and you deserve only good things to happen to you.
@lumierc You’re probably one of the most kind-hearted people I have met on this website and I am so grateful to call you my friend. You’re so much fun to talk to and roleplay with and although I am the most trashcan partner of trashcan partners, you haven’t complained once and you’re still roleplaying with me. You, my friend, deserve a medal, along with all the others who aren’t tired of my lazy ass yet. And while we’re on the subject of roleplaying, you’re also one of the most talented writers I know. Seriously. So jealous! Sidenote for everyone else reading this: she’s Satan and will make you emo a lot if you ship with her. But that’s one of the things I love about her. Lol. Stay exactly as you are, darlin’!
@eizawrites is such a badass and I admire her for that so much. She’s the kind of person you definitely want on your team when going up against the mean girl of your school, haha. And have you seen her selfies? She’s got some mad makeup skills and she’s so pretty! Needless to say, since this is a roleplay account, I will also have to mention that she’s a fantastic writer too and so much fun to ship with (and by that I mean find ways to emotionally torture our muses, yay!). Ruby, you might actually be the person I have been writing with longest; that is some serious shit. And even when I had to take a break for almost an entire year, you remained understanding and didn’t let our ships die. Not everyone is going to be like that and I appreciate it a lot.
@wanderlustrper I mean, come on, Danielle, you know I had to mention my favorite rant-buddy and one and only kuddlemuffin. Whenever there is something that unnerves me, in this community or in real life, I come to you and we get angry at people’s stupidity and ignorance together. It’s the best! Although we haven’t written together yet, I appreciate your friendship and continued support so freaking much and I don’t know how to thank you for always listening to my petty problems.
alessa & haldey bc these all seemed fitting af: [text] So at what point of the night are we going to decide everyone at this party sucks and we should just fuck each other? / [text] I’ll eat brunch alone. No ones good enough when you’re not around / [text] I feel like I cold have been bitchier and missed an opportunity. / [text] I think after tonight I’m 85% lesbian
[text] So at what point of the night are we going to decide everyone at this party sucks and we should just fuck each other?
[10:19pm] hmm good question![10:19pm] i’d say right about now because, honestly, i am Sick of that slimy dude charles coming up to me every 10 minutes asking if i want to ‘go somewhere quiet to chat’[10:20pm] i’d rather go somewhere quiet with you and make you scream. meet me out the front in like 5 minutes! 😏
[text] I’ll eat brunch alone. No ones good enough when you’re not around
[11:09am] i feel like laughing isn’t the appropriate response to this but ur too much[11:09am] you’re so cute, i’ll make it up to you later, promise!
[text] I feel like I cold have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
[4:56pm] what happened?? tell me!! i don’t know what happened but you 100% could’ve been bitchier i agree!![4:56pm] did you slap a bitch?
[text] I think after tonight I’m 85% lesbian
[11:34pm] well, that’s a good thing for me then isn’t it? i knew i was talented with my tongue but i didn’t know i was /that/ talented 👅[11:35pm] happy to be of service!
where was their first date ?: unofficially—the kitchen, officially—um maybe the moma?what my muse would do to cheer your’s up: cook her dessert, bring her a glass of wine, & give her a back rubwho wakes the other up with kisses ( and where ) ?: james is the early bird and i wakes her up with cheek or forehead kisses. or between the thighs if he’s feeling... saucywho would pour water on the other to wake them up ?: omg she better not!!! neither would do this imohow my muse would wake yours up: god a lot of morning questions! he’d make her breakfast i guesswho would start a food fight while baking or cooking ?: freja probably lolwho would suggest putting marijuana in the brownies ?: omggggg idk!!! maybe herwho said i love you first and how ( or when ) did they say it ?: uh idk she probably said it during sexwho would get into a physical altercation over the other ?: james would punch a bitch out (probably jamie oliver...) over herwho insists on purchasing a pet together ( and what kind of pet ) ?: freja except she doesn’t ask him first!who is louder ( in and out of bed ) ?: james is louder out and freja inwho takes more risks ( in and out of bed ) ?: um idk about our but in they are probably equally risky?who would bring up the word ‘daddy’ first ?: freja would have to i thinkwhat is their shared, favourite kink ?: semi-public sex, aka pressing her up against the glass to fuck herdescribe their typical kiss: kissyhow my muse shows their love for yours: giftstheir favourite ways to give affection: physically/sexually lolwho is more dominate ?: jameswho sings in the shower ?: freja?who washes the other’s hair in the shower ?: she’d wash his, he tangles herwho initiates shower sex despite being in a rush ?: i was gonna say freja but damn he’s horny so i bet he’d try to stick it inwho teases the other under the table at dinner with the family ?: frEJA!!!!who has the weirder taste in music ?: james...who would initiate dancing in the rain ?: freja, bc she’s a cutieeewho would be the one to suggest marriage ?: jameswhat would they name their children ?: riga-tony or luca, both equally gr9 nameswho would their children take after more ?: um... well their kid would take after her a lot bc he’d be a lil dancer. idk about grace & maggie
♫ for your muse to catch mine singing in the shower
Kat was alone in the hotel suite; Max was out at some event for the promotion of her album release and though Kat could have accompanied her, she wasn’t really in the mood to deal with the throng of reporters. They had just arrived at the hotel that day and she had been absolutely exhausted, choosing a nap over going out. She had jumped in the shower after she had woken up, belting out lyrics to Max’s bands’ newest single as she washed her hair. She didn’t hear the door opening or the footsteps over the sound of the drumming water and her own voice. She saw her girlfriend’s blurry outline just as she pushed the door to the shower enclosure open, a huge grin on her lips. Kat’s heart still skipped a beat at that smile and the heat in her eyes. She stopped mid lyric, her cheeks flushing slightly. She was all too aware of how she couldn’t hold a tune if her life depended on it. Max had always made a point of teasing her over how she managed to ruin every song; it was something Kat was entirely aware of. Max opened her mouth to say something and Kat shook her head, quickly snapping her hand over her lips. “Don’t.” Her shoulders shook with laughter and Kat shook her head though it was hard not to smile, “God, I’m never going to live this down.” Max nodded, agreeing with that before running her eyes over her naked body, the water still cascading down over her form. It was all she needed to pull at her hand, her hand already tugging at the dress she was wearing to get it off. “Or I bet I can make you forget all about it...”
