EJP shenanigans #2: The one where Sarukui is a traitor and Washio becomes a twilight vampire
Characters: EJP x reader(platonic), washio x reader (not platonic ;p)
EJP shenanigans #1
The two men ran down the hallway. Their shoes squeaked on the linoleum floors, their chests ached and their lungs burned, but they didn’t dare slow down- and they certainly couldn’t stop. They were huffing and puffing as they rounded another corner and stumbled across an empty looking office.
“Toya! In there!” Komori nodded at Suna, and the two slowed to a stop before carefully opening the wooden door, slipping inside before carefully shutting it behind them. They were doing everything they could to be quiet…everything they could to go unnoticed by the raging maniac who had been chasing them down the halls of the EJP Raijin stadium. A maniac intent on causing them harm if he were to catch up to them…
A maniac they once called friend and teammate, Tatsuki Washio
*That morning*
“Alright, Motoya…truth? Or dare?” Suna smiled in mischief as he sat across from his teammate. The libero paused, eyes narrowing in challenge as he spoke, “Truth- like I’d ever let you give me a dare again.” Sarukui looked at his older teammates confused, “Again?” Komori shuddered, “It’s a long and painful story- okay Rin, what do you wanna know?”
Suna hummed, looking up to the locker room ceiling as he sighed. “Hmm…okay- were you the one the one that gave Washio a concussion?”
The room went quiet, Suna intensified his stare aiming to melt right through his teammate. Sarukui sat still, eyes wide as he looked at Komori intensely. “Toya…you didn’t…” Komori sighed, burying his head in his knees as he groaned. “I swear it was an accident- How was I supposed to know you were going to go in the other door?!”
Ah yes, the bucket incident. Thankfully the teams’ medic had still been in the building when said incident happened, not that much could be done for the middle blocker’s minor concussion.
Suna laughed, “Wait- no joke, that was you?!” Komori rolled his eyes, “Who else would it have been?! His wife? I got scolded so bad after that!” Sarukui tilted his head, confused. “Wait…Washio scolded you..?” Komori raised an eyebrow, “What? Oh no- Y/n scolded me. Actually, now that I think about it…I don’t think I’ve ever even seen Tatsuki get mad…” Sarukui’s eyes widened, “Really? Not even when you gave him a concussion??” Komori paused, “Well- yeah he did seem a little more tense than usual.” Suna shook his head, “Nah, I think he was more dazed than anything- even after that he still wasn’t mad.”
…
“I have an idea.”
The three musketeers walked into the stadium’s clinic, making their way over to Y/n- the team’s head paramedic, as they saw she was just sitting at her desk taking a break. “Hey, what are- oh please tell me you did not concuss my husband again.” She shifted her pointed gaze over to Komori, eyebrows raised as she studied the libero. “Wha- no! And that was one time!”
She shook her head, a small smile on her face as she rolled her chair back and crossed one leg over the other. “Well, if it’s not a concussed teammate, what can I help you with?” The three shared a ‘look’ before Suna cleared his throat, hands clasping in front of him like he was an FBI agent, “We came to ask a question of immediate importance.”
Her eyebrow raised, “Is this a medical question..?” Suna shook his head, “No, no this is much more important…we need to know what makes your husband mad?”
A beat of silence passed before the medic burst out in a small fit of laughter.
“Tatsuki? Mad? Please. I have never met a man- no, a human who had more patience.” It was clear she was very amused, but the soft smile of adoration she held for her husband never left her face. “See? That’s what I tried telling them! He’s a patient saint and you’re a raging she devil-” komori muttered an ‘ow’ as she threw a pen at his shoulder, a ‘whatever’ falling from her lips accompanied by an eye roll. So what if she had an attitude? Her husband liked it and that’s all that mattered💅
“Anyways, there’s really not anything in particular- actually that’s not true. I’ve seen him truly mad once, it wasn’t even at me and wow…anywho I’m not sure why y’all are so intent on seeing my hubby angry..but,” They all leaned in closer to the older female, intently listening to what she had to say.
They watched as she shook her head, clearly disapproving of whatever antics they were up to, but willing to answer their question nonetheless. “If something were to make Tatsuki mad….it would probably be something having to do with his car.”
Suna and Komori exchanged a glance, mentally encouraging the other to start coming up with ideas while Sarukui looked between the two, slightly worried for his teammates. “I am in no way, however, endorsing you doing anything to tick off my husband- and therefore have absolutely no part in whatever it is you may choose to do.” Komori and Suna nodded as they made their way out of her office and over to their PR manager's office.
Where there was an excess amount of glitter left over from their last team photo session.
“Are you two really going to do this?! Y/n warned us he gets scary when he’s mad..” Suna waved him off as Komori shrugged, “Yeah but- Washio looks super scary anyways, so it can’t be that bad.” Sarukui shook his head, “Uh-uh, nope, I’m not having any part of this one, you two are on your own.” The young teammate walked off, or more so he retreated from the crime scene and left the two to their own devices. He knew he was Washio’s favorite anyway so he was safe from his supposed wrath. The other two…? Not so much.
After a small detour to the locker room and Komroi distracting Washio while Suna swiped his car keys- the two made their way out into the parking lot.
“Okay…if we’re going to do this…we need to be smart about it.” Komori looked to Suna with a serious expression. Suna looked at Komori with a serious expression and nodded his head. “Right.” Suna looked at the gallon sized zip-loc baggie of yellow glitter in his hand, opened it, paused…
And dumped the whole thing into Washio’s car's air conditioning.
.
..
…”Now what?” Komori’s eyes widened as he thought of the best course of action to take after committing such a heinous crime.
“I say we go back to practice and avoid Washio at all costs.” “Good plan.”
Now it was the end of the day. The moment Komori and Suna both dreaded and looked forward to was closing in.
“Suna, Komori, I’m heading out, I'll see you tomorrow.” The duo jumped a bit at the middle blockers' sudden entrance into the locker room. “Yup! See ya tomorrow Tatsuki!” Suna elbowed his teammate in the ribs- the nervousness in Komoris voice could be heard from a mile away.
Washio simply raised a brow before shaking his head and with one final wave of his hand he left the EJP locker room and headed towards his wife’s office to discuss dinner plans before he headed home.
Suna and Komori let out a breath they didn’t even know they were holding before they snuck outside of the locker room, waiting to follow their teammate until he had rounded the corner. This game of ‘stalk our teammate like we’re lions and he’s a helpless zebra’ continued until he came to an abrupt stop- causing Komori to careen headfirst into Suna’s back, causing the latter to stumble and the former to let out a small ‘ouch!’.
Suna shot the libero a small glare while Komori stood there rubbing his nose, eyes widening as he saw the middle blocker was now half way turned around in the hallway. Suna noticed and scrambled back around the corner, peaking out ever so slightly to see what Washio’s next move would be.
“...did I leave my keys in the locker room?” Suna and Komori let out yet another breath as they watched their teammate search his pockets until he found them and continued on his way.
They watched from a safe distance as Washio discussed whatever it was he was talking about with his wife. They watched them share a kiss before he turned towards the door and continued to make his way out of the stadium.
They once again shared a look and a nod before following him outside to the parking lot- making sure to keep a careful distance, as they hid behind the row of cars just a few rows ahead of his. Suna held up his phone and started filming while Komori wiped the sweat from his forehead.
August was supposedly one of the hottest months in Japan and today was no different. That made what was about to happen so much worse.
“Y’know…I’m starting to uh…rethink..what we did..”
Komori waited to respond to Suna as they watched their teammate climb into his car.
“Out of guilt?”
Suna shook his head, watching with wide eyes as they saw him turn the key in his ignition, cranking up the AC.
“Out of fear.”
*POOF!* The two watched as a cloud of flourescent yellow glitter seemingly burst out of the air conditioning, coating their teammate in a layer of sickeningly bright yellow glitter. They watched with wide eyes as they saw him pause, turned off the car, and slowly brought his hand up to wipe the glitter away from his eyes. Their hearts dropped to their stomachs as he slowly got out of his car, standing to his full height before turning around to face them. He took a deep breath and let it out.
“Suna, Komori, I know you’re there…and when I find you-” They didn’t wait to hear what he had to say, the two bolted from their hiding place, tripping over themselves and each other as they raced for the stadium. Komori stole a glance behind them only to see Washio calmly walking towards them. This wasn’t anywhere close to as scary as they thought it would be.
This was so much worse.
*Flashback*
“The thing about my husband is when he’s mad, he doesn’t scream or raise his voice- he goes completely quiet.” Suna scoffed, “He’s gotta do something…isn’t he like…always quiet anyway?” Y/n rolled her eyes, “I’m not talking about his usual stoicness- I’m talking like…deadly silent-you-can’t-tell-what-he’s-thinking quiet. And you won’t know what he’s thinking until he snaps,” Y/n shook her head, twirling around the pen she had been writing with in her fingers as she looked up to the boys with a hint of caution in her gaze. “So, I would think twice about doing whatever it is you plan on doing.”
*end flashback*
For once Suna thinks he might regret pulling a prank on someone.
Okay that’s a big fat lie- even if he dies today he will ascend to heaven absolutely tickled at what he and Komori did. But still even he had to wonder if this was a good idea as he and Komori booked it down the hallway and towards the one place they might be safe- the mrs’ office.
The two burst into her office, confusing the poor woman as she stood from her desk and took a few tentative steps towards them before she stopped, eyes narrowing. “...does this have to do with whatever you did to my husband..?” The two furiously nodded. “Is he mad?” A few beats of silence passed before they said ‘yeah’.
Y/n barked out a laugh, “Nope, I am not getting involved in this one.” She ushered the boys out of her office as she stood with her arms crossed in the hallway. The trio could hear quick footsteps approaching them, no doubt belonging to her husband.
The duo got ready to run but before they departed, Suna looked to the young woman with a twinge of hope in his green eyes.
“Y/n…if he asks..you’ll cover for us right..?”
Komori gave her the best puppy eyes he could, the ones he used to use on Sakusa (not like they ever worked but it was worth a shot), as they pleaded for the medic to cover for them and their poor decision making.
Y/n looked at them with sympathy, fake sympathy but it’s the thought that counts, before she shook her head. “Nope. Now it may be a coincidence, but I’m pretty sure that’s him stomping towards you, you may want to run.” The two split- beginning to once again run for their lives as Washio rounded the corner, yellow glitter flowing off of him in waves as he speed walked to his wife.
“...where are they?” She bit her tongue to stop from laughing as she pointed in the direction they went, “Probably about 40 ft down that hallway..” She could not however stop the smile that broke out on her features. Washio narrowed his glittery eyebrows at his wife- he could hear the amusement in her tone, he could see her trying to hold back her obnoxious laughter at his glittery state.
“For the record…I think you look absolutely lovely covered head to toe in glitter.” He shook his head, starting his way down the hallway before he called out to his wife over his shoulder, “I’ll deal with you later sweetheart,” She paused, uh oh…he never used pet names.
She smirked, waving to him and putting on the sweetest tone she could. “I look forward to it sparkles!” He just chuckled before taking off into a jog, then a sprint as his gray eyes caught a glimpse of the two traitors that condemned him to being covered in glitter for at least the next week. And his car?! Do they know how long it’s going to take him to vacuum it out?!
*back to the POV of the two deviants*
The two waited with bated breaths inside of the quiet storage closet. They could hear footsteps and labored breathing outside in the hall, but to their luck he didn’t know which room they had gone in.
“Oh, hey Washio! Uh-...suna and komori?” That was Sarukui…They didn’t hear a response so they assumed the middle blocker had nodded. “I thought so…by the way they’re hiding in that closet.”
Their heads snapped towards the door, THAT LITTLE TRAITOR! Suna was torn between trying to somehow hide in the near empty room and busting down the door to strangle the young member.
They heard a ‘thanks’ before the store swung open, and light came streaming into the room. Komori screamed, Suna grabbed onto a broom, and Washio just…stood there.
He looked at the two.
They looked at him.
He took a step towards them.
Komori screamed again and Suna dropped his broom.
Washio just paused, huffed out a laugh, and grabbed the two by the back of their shirt collars, dragging them out of the closet and into the hallway. He briefly went back into the storage closet to grab a small handheld electric vacuum. Washio then marched them outside and to his car before handing Suna the vacuum and Komori the keys.
The three (Sarukui came to film- he couldn’t just have one part of the incident filmed, he learned that from Suna) waited for Washio to speak.
“So uh…are we going to clean this up or..?” Washio shook his head, “You two are going to clean this up, I’m going to go home and eat dinner with my beautiful wife before I spend an hour trying to get rid of this glitter. And before either of you complain..”
They gulped at his intense stare- even covered in obnoxiously bright yellow glitter, Washio Tatsuki was still incredibly intimidating.
“I may not be as devious as Komori or as photo inclined as Suna…but I still have plenty of black mail material on both of you…keep that in mind.” He waved goodbye to his teammates, giving Sarukui a small pat on the back as he made his way inside to let his wife know he’d be riding home with her today.
The three stood in an atmosphere of silence, eyes wide and jaws dropped. Lesson learned- don’t mess with EJP Middle Blocker Washio Tatsuki, after all, there is a reason he fits into this band of mischief and chaos.
Washio is a gremlin you absolutely cannot tell me otherwise