Out of all the boys, who there has the best super villain cackle? Who’s more of a chuckler?
Thank you for the ask, dear anon!
Here is the ranking of best super villain cackle to best evil chuckler; video sources are from ShelBB, berry is sleeping, and Ekala on Youtube—warning that some of them contain spoilers!
1. Jamil Viper
Top class cackle, good strong start and stays strong on the follow through, absolutely feral. Just listen to this man, this is a villainous cackle that could rival the Joker’s for the sheer, unhinged enjoyment of the art form.
2. Vil Schoenheit
A strong contender for the number one cackle spot. However, Vil’s propensity for delivering evil chuckles that surpass Jamil’s slots him in here instead.
3. Riddle Rosehearts
A good, solid, unhinged cackle. Rather short, which is the only reason it’s not higher on either end of the spectrum.
4. Leona Kingscholar
Leona, I love you, but evil laughter doesn’t seem to be exactly your thing. He falls here for having a chuckle that’s a bit stronger than his cackle, but his best quality is clearly his growls by far.
5. Azul Ashengrotto
Had such potential audible in his lines, but in the end his laugh is a little too breathy to carry the full “oomph” of a supervillain cackle. Works very well for him giving his dastardly villainous chuckles though!
6. Malleus Draconia
Has only done that one chuckle so far, which is a pretty solid, menacing chuckle overall, but it makes me wonder if he hasn’t had much practice actually laughing. And now I’m sad.
7. Idia Shroud
The undisputed King of unhinged, creepy chuckles that only become more unsettling when paired with his winning smile. He may not do it all that often, but when this man starts giggling, you know he means bad news and has worked out how to deliver it to you in the worst way possible.
Ignis Scientia had been faced with many unspeakable horrors on his journey with his royal charge. Together with his king and his companions he had encountered the worst Daemons that had ever been formed, things whose very names and vaguest description could turn a man's blood to icewater in his veins. Beasts of unfathomable size and ferocity. Undead phantoms who breathed charnel secrets to their mortal prey. And strange chimeric monsters whose very bodies were revulsion made solid. All of them, Ignis had faced unwavering, for King and for comrade.
But here, at last, he had met his match.
"Huh," Gladio said, putting down everyone's luggage at once with a noise like a small avalanche. "That is one butt-ugly chair."
"It is," Ignis said, and though he meant to follow that with some adjective, confirmation, or exclamation, disgust closed his throat and he had to let the statement stand as it was.
"Motel furniture is so weird," Prompto agreed, as he craned around Gladio's bulk in a fruitless attempt to see. "Wanna play retro furniture bingo, Noct? Whaddya say? Is it gonna be plaid? Paisley? Orrrrr horrible floral pattern that looks like someone puking up several pounds of jellybeans while bungee jumping?"
Noct made a noncommittal noise. After countless nights in any number of musty, outdated, and disquietingly sticky motels, they had gotten quite good at this particular game. "My money's on... weird pastoral scenes in some unidentifiable color, or large suspicious stains."
"Oooh, good choices," Prompto said. "Right. Move it, Gladio, so we can see who's right about the--" Gladio moved, and Prompto Argentum was momentarily speechless at the sight of the chair. When he did manage to make a sound, it was one of disbelief. "Okay. Wow. I mean--wow. It's kind of... all those things."
"I didn't think it was possible for furniture to get Starscourge," Gladio put in, while Ignis closed his eyes, shuddered, and tried to suppress a moan of anguish.
Running Down A Dream (THAT'S RIGHT BITCHES) #35: Upholstery
Ignis frowned as he walked through the residential hall of the citadel, Gladio just a half-step to his side. “I assure you,” he said succinctly as he reached for his keys, “I would not lie about such a thing.” His eyes darted to either side, confirming that they were alone in the hallway. Gladio had a tendency to start sensitive discussions in full listening distance of pretty much anybody, and Ignis was a more private person than that.
Gladio snorted as they approached the door to Ignis’ room. “I gotta see it, then.” His voice dripped with disbelief, and Ignis couldn’t help but roll his eyes in response. “Show me.” He leaned in to prop himself against the doorframe as Ignis turned his key in the lock. “I’ll make it worth your while.”
Casting him a disapproving look as he led them into the room, Ignis deposited his things on the table by the door and made sure to lock it tight behind him. “I would expect as much,” he said curtly. “It’s certainly not something I’ve shared before. It would be fairly rude of you to demand I show you, and not offer something of equal or higher value in return.”
Gladio took a moment to muse on this as Ignis fussed about his evening routine. “Fair enough,” he finally conceded. “Tell you what - you show me, and I promise I’ll finish you off.”
This time it was Ignis’ turn to snort. “That much was obvious, Gladiolus. It hardly counts as proper recompense for the act.” He shuffled his shoes away in their caddy and opened the top button of his shirt as he leaned against the couch, giving Gladio a challenging look over the rim of his glasses.
Frowning, Gladio stood tall and crossed his arms. “Well, what else do you want from me, if that’s not enough?”
Ignis took a moment to ponder the question, then met Gladio’s eyes with a sly smile. “Dinner, tomorrow.” He saw the look of relief spread across Gladio’s face, and spoke again to shatter it. “You cook. No noodles, nor rice.”
Gladio only wilted for a beat before nodding. “Deal,” he said, and was immediately fulfilled by Ignis’ shocked look. He jerked his head towards the bedroom and grinned. “Shall we?”
Sighing, Ignis stood and headed towards the bedroom, beginning to unfasten the rest of his buttons as he walked. “Such a romantic,” he said with hardly a hint of jest.
“You love it.”
Ignis could only grimace. It was true, after all.
As always, Ignis took his time removing his clothing so as to treat it properly. Everything went into the laundry hamper, save for the suspenders that he hung on a hook behind the door. When it came to the final article, he made sure to catch Gladio’s eye and keep it as he removed his boxer-briefs and tossed them into the hamper.
Gladio rewarded the show with a low wolf whistle. “Smoking as always, Iggy.”
“Hardly.” Ignis rolled his eyes and walked over to his bed, sitting at the edge and eyeing up the wall behind the pillow. “I warn you, this isn’t exactly alluring to watch.”
“So says you.” Gladio snorted and sat himself at the edge of the bed.
Shrugging, Ignis removed the pillows and arranged them neatly on the floor. “Then again, knowing you, perhaps this is exactly the sort of thing that will excite you.” Satisfied with the pile, he sat further back on the bed until his back was perfectly flush with the wall.
Then he sighed.
Gladio frowned. “What’s the matter?”
“Considering the circumstances,” Ignis replied with a wickedly arched eyebrow, “I’m a little less than prepared at the moment.” He then gestured towards his lap, and the softness that lay between his legs.
Stretching his shoulders, Gladio leaned forward and grinned. “Let’s see if I can fix that for you.” He reached to run one finger along the inside of Ignis’ bare thigh, going particularly slowly along the crease of his hip, before dragging a nail down to rest at the back of his knee. Ignis shuddered in response, one hand fisting in the sheets as he felt his body start to respond.
“There we go,” Gladio murmured, then darted in to lay a trail of kisses along the path his nail had just taken moments before. He paused as he reached the spot directly beside Ignis’ slowly-hardening cock, making sure to catch the other man’s eye before licking a short stripe along the sensitive skin.
Ignis groaned this time, his breathing starting to hitch as his hips twitched into Gladio’s touch. The larger man continued in the same vein for another minute or two, alternating light and rough touches with gentle kisses in all of Ignis’ most sensitive spots. It wasn’t long before he was fully erect and shaking slightly, lips darting out to lick his suddenly-dry lips.
Pleased with himself, Gladio sat upright and leaned back for a better view. “Well,” he said smugly, “time to put your money where your mouth is.”
Ignis wasn’t so far gone that he couldn’t spare a glare at Gladio for the pun. Still, he backed himself against the wall once more, testing the resistance there. It took a few moments of positioning, his rigid cock bouncing between his legs all the while, but eventually he was satisfied with his spot and took a deep breath.
Then Gladio watched as Ignis folded over on himself, not just once, but nearly twice, so that same beautiful erection disappeared past Ignis’ seeking lips.
The larger man found himself inhaling sharply, his own body responding as he was provided with concrete evidence that yes, Ignis Scientia was flexible enough to suck his own cock.
It wasn’t the most graceful thing to watch, that much was obvious. The position looked fairly uncomfortable, but Gladio also knew how much punishment Ignis could take in just a normal workout. He wasn’t obviously straining, but his blowjob technique was sloppier than usual. For one, the motions were less than smooth.
Then there was the slurping.
Gladio had never had a single complaint about Ignis’ oral technique. It was always clean and efficient and, to be brutally honest, so perfectly delicious to watch. But seeing him here like this, barely keeping it together as he moaned around his own cock…
He groaned, loud and long.
Ignis paused at that, pulling off his own cock with a wet popping sound. “Convinced yet?” he asked slyly, his voice just as rough as if it’d been Gladio’s cock he’d been sucking.
“Fuck *yeah* I’m convinced,” Gladio growled in reply, before pushing Ignis back against the wall so he could suck that same cock himself. Ignis laughed for a moment before resuming his same moans and groans as before.
Gladio attacked Ignis with more gusto than usual, eager to have that length as far down his throat as he was able to take it. It wasn’t long before Ignis was panting above him, one hand tangled in his hair as he begged out a warning.
Just to be contrary, Gladio sucked harder, and was pleasantly rewarded as Ignis cried out and spilled into his mouth. He swallowed every drop greedily, then pulled off with a grin as he looked up to survey the damage.
Ignis was leaning hard against the wall, eyes closed as he panted from exertion. It was another few minutes before he was cognizant enough to move away from the wall and lay down properly beside Gladio.
“Fuck, Iggy,” Gladio said at last. “That was really hot, you know.”
Scoffing, Ignis ran his fingers through the mane of brown hair. “If you say so.” Gladio responded with a well-meant tap on his hip, and he couldn’t help but smile. “Was it worth it, then?”
Gladio nodded vigorously against his shoulder. “Definitely.”
Raising an eyebrow, Ignis continued. “Worth enough to cook dinner?”
This time the answer was a little more delayed. “…how do you feel about hamburgers?”
Ignis chuckled. “I’ll eat your meat anytime, Gladiolus.” He pressed a kiss to the larger man’s temple and grinned. “Especially if I don’t have to do calisthenics first.”
