Okay so I've been itching to post about this on here and wasn't sure until like 5 seconds ago so bare with me y'all, I'm probably gonna ramble sound insane as fuck. I know what happened was real and my faith has been solidified. I will give some context so y'all don't think I'm a raving lunatic like a couple of my friends do or one of those dabblers.
TW: Faith, spiritual violence, abuse, mental illness, threats, Santa Muerte, witchcraft/bitchcraft, astral projection, angels, el ojo, COVID, death, misogyny, bigotry. If any of this triggers you, do not read. Protect yourself and your mind.
First of all: I'm mixed. My dad is Mexican and my mom's parents are from Germany and Russia. I'm also white passing and have been very whitewashed my whole life. My grandma didn't teach my dad or my aunts spanish (it was the 6O's) and my grandpa didn't speak it. I barely know any and have been trying to learn but I'm terrible at studying. She was also Catholic but we were raised Apostolic (my parents' choice.) I've been trying to reclaim my heritage and find a faith that works for me. Gotten a lot of crap for it too. Racists and bigots are awful. Please know that I'm not some crappy white person trying to cherry pick.
Second: I've always felt things. Supernatural things. My parents thought it was the devil. As a child I was terrified of going to Hell because I didn't fit in with the ideal christian faith. I'm non-binary, pansexual, polyamorous; I am not mild-mannered, I support sex workers, drug users, and try to see the good in everyone. Also I mean, if you're reading this you've probably seen my blog and photos. I definitely do not fit the Apostolic aesthetic. Please keep in mind that my parents never told me I was going to Hell. They actually prayed for me all the time when I was going through spooky supernatural shit. But I had that fear that I was going to Hell because it was all I knew and I was different. I think it attracted things. Spirits, demons, whatever you want to call them. Things would come to me before I fell asleep or jolt me out of a dead sleep. I didn't see them but I knew they were there. They pulled my hair, laughed and breathed heavily in my ear, grabbed my legs. I had nightmares constantly. My room always felt heavy. Like I didn't know it then but thinking back it was awful. I slept with the lights on and prayed to Jesus for them to go away. They would for a little while but always came back. It happened again when my mental health was bad and while I was being abused.
Third: I am not a dabbler. I know the consequences. You do not pray to your gods, especially ones linked with death, without serious commitment. I was doing as much research as I could on Santa Muerte (all the stuff that was available in english and some stuff I could translate myself anyway) before I decided to devote myself. I was afraid, but like respectfully, if that makes sense?
So now that we've established that, buckle up bitches. You're in for a wild ride. Please review the TWs before you continue.
So for further backstory, I dated a fucking abusive prick for a few months. My partners did not like him and neither did my dad. They just knew. I didn't listen though. I didn't realize he was abusive until he was being so towards me. He threatened suicide all the time and I kept trying to get him help but he refused it. He would say vaguely bigoted things but manipulated me into believing that he wasn't one. He implied he preferred my feminity to my masculinity and told me I was "too emotional" when I shaved my hair off. He also pushed the boundaries of this sweetheart of a girl I know while we were dating her. I always felt on edge with him and couldn't figure out why until I was out with my friend one night and he called. He kept me on the phone the whole time we were out. When I finally was able to hang up without him being mad, my friend told me he reminded her of my abusive ex-gf. Long story short I broke up with him not too long after that.
It's been almost a year since I spoke to him. In that time I had changed my number and blocked him on all social media. I'm living with my partners and roommates in a house and life has been wonderful.
Then two days ago, someone came to me saying he was threatening suicide again. I was pissed. He was manipulating more people with his bullshit. I know I probably should have let it go but I was so done and so was the person who messaged me. This was probably very stupid on my part but I unblocked him and asked him if he was actually going to do it. I told him if he was I was going to call for a wellness check. He threatened suicide again and insulted my intelligence and job history. I made sure I took screenshots of his social media posts and our conversation before he blocked me.
I called the cops and explained the situation. That he would probably twist my words and use my mental illness as my reason for calling them. I don't know all the details after that. I know for sure that he was taken to the hospital but was released. I'm sure he manipulated them too.
I received a message from someone I didn't know and his current gf (he goes through them like they're fucking toys. It's sickening) threatening to take me to court for filing a "false" police report. I told them do it. That I knew the truth and had evidence. Of his abuse too. I showed her and she didn't believe me. She said I was "blackmailing" him. I think on some level she knew it was true because she did not deny the abuse allegations. Towards the end of the conversation, I'm positive he took her phone. It didn't sound like her writing to me. My intelligence was insulted and I was threatened again. After that I blocked her too.
So here's where things get weird. And honestly y'all can think what you want but I know what happened and I wasn't hallucinating:
I have fibro and covid. My symptoms have been mild. I felt better even. Like I couldn't wait to go back to work. But as I laid down I was in serious pain. I couldn't move much without it hurting. I was terrified and already a bit anxious from my encounter from my ex, so I called my doctor. She told me to dose with edibles and if it wasn't better in a couple hours I needed to be hospitalized. So my lovely sweet gf, bless her, basically drugged me on RSO caramel. But I was still scared. Scared to the point where I finally thought if I was gonna die, I should suck it up and pray to Santa Muerte to protect me and everyone. Please keep in mind that this happened right AFTER I was dosed and BEFORE it kicked in. I also wear an ojo around my wrist that I rarely remove.
I was laying there with my eyes closed. The caramel hadn't kicked in yet and I was still scared. Then, I shit you not, my ex was in the room. He doesn't know where I live and nobody saw him come in the house. He was in my face screaming, trying to hurt me. He was fully fleshed out but I know he wasn't actually physically there. I couldn't feel his touch when he tried to hit me. I got pissed again. I told him that he wasn't welcome, to be gone, and he vanished into thin air. Like in a puff of smoke or something. It looked that way.
I felt safe. Not afraid anymore. But instead of falling asleep I saw an eye. A giant eye. Bright blue. Like the Evil Eye. Then a thousand of them and so much fire. I couldn't hear anything but I swear it told me not to be afraid, that I was safe. I don't remember much after that. Apparently I messaged my mom and my house group chat crying, saying I saw an angel. I googled it and was shook. I may have grew up Christian but I didn't know about the passage in the bible. It was an Ophanim.
A few more spooky things happened after that. When I cleansed my room, my door opened and closed. When I bound my ex, he was outside my window. I live on the second floor of a house and the trees aren't that close. After my gf and I warded the property, he was gone. Today when I woke up I was nauseous and the ojo on my wrist burned. My gf cleansed it and right after I threw up and my vagina spotted a little.
I'm not nauseous anymore or bleeding anymore. My ojo doesn't burn and I feel a lot better. In fact I feel high. Safe. And I believe. I believe Santa Muerte sent the Ophanim to protect me. I believe she saved my life. And my ex is going to regret messing with me, whether he intentionally astro-projected into my room or not. I mean him no harm. He definitely fucked with the wrong person though.
