#ela<3

[minusboy]

erm actually have you considered i am intellectually superior to you because i read the character bouncing on it while he gets psychoanalized. i can't believe you would say i have to kill myself because of this. i will be flying to your location in the next three to seven days with a knife in my hand

knife in one hand and the other hand jerking it intellectual style

[bnesszai]

I FINALLY FINISHED ELA DAY FIC. for @ryuvnosuke my beloved. happy late bday. have your boys, sskk, 4.3k. Teen&Up. A 4+1 story told through scars<3

Read it Here!

The weretiger jumps and whips his head away. “It's nothing.” “It doesn't look like a burn.” “It's not.” “Then what?” “What does it matter?” The weretiger is looking at Akutagawa again, fists balled at his side, eyes simmering with anger. The fear is still there. Akutagawa studies him for a moment before standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets. He looks out over the water. “Your past doesn't define you.” A deep, staggering breath behind him. “I know.” A pregnant pause. Akutagawa hears his car pull up but before he moves, the weretiger’s voice is carried by the wind, caressing his ear, “Neither does yours.”

[bnesszai]

sskk + heart and/or jouzai + shatter <3

hello my beloved<3

sskk+heart

Atsushi is asleep long before Akutagawa. It is not unusual, given their respective jobs, but Akutagawa wishes, just once, that he could be the one lulled to sleep instead of the one still at war with himself. At the thought, Akutagawa's fingers curl into the fabric of Atsushi's shirt, desperate, guilty, lonely. It feels so wrong, the loneliness despite the breath of his partner beneath his head. Taking a deep breath, Akutagawa closes his eyes again. He shuffles closer, pressing his entire body against Atsushi's side. Atsushi mumbles something under his breath, head-turning so his cheek is on top of Akutagawa's, and then he snores again. A huff escapes Akutagawa's lips. The warmth seeps in, dispelling the cold hold of loneliness, one breath at a time. He focuses on Atushi's heartbeat, how it pulses right against his ear. Akutagawa has to actively stop himself from ripping it straight from Atsushi's chest and devouring it whole so that it can be just as much a part of him as Akutagawa feels it should be. Feels that it is. He has to resist the urge to open Atsushi's ribcage and climb in there himself, to make them one and the same. Is this what love is, he wonders, gore with sentiment?

~

jouzai+shatter

It was always going to end this way. A fake person living in decaying skin with a rotten apple core where a heart should be is not meant for pretty things. Jouno is very pretty. Even when he turns to particles, shimmering in the light, Dazsai found themself admiring him. Even when Jouno slipped back into old habits, a criminal, bloodied grin on his lips and a horrific idea, Dazai thought no one looked more beautiful. When Jouno held them, solidifying himself in Dazai's embrace, he was wholly, truly Dazai's, and peace never looked so good on anyone before. And that is why, Dazai thinks, it had to end. Anything Dazai could ever hope to want is lost. Anything Dazai touches rots and turns to ash beneath their fingertips. Jouno is no exception. Dust, swept away in the wind, just like everything Dazai has ever loved, but much more literal, much more cruel. Something cracks, something shatters, and then something screams. It was always going to end this way, with glass and dust and blood and Dazai in the middle of it all, still alive despite all their efforts and prayers.

[bnesszai]

this MIGHT be us. i think

I hate that I'm inclined to agree yeah. We live to be menaces to society and everyone around us<3

[bnesszai]

i was looking through the questions but those don't apply for the insanity of jouzai so i'm bringing my own. when they fall, how's it like? which one falls first? does it kills them. jk. unless

you're right. they deserve their own fucked up category<3

when they fall, it's like a war. Dazai fights tooth and nail to stay away but keeps feeling the irresistible tug to get closer, to follow, to touch. it's like a bloodbath in the need to stay far away from complicated feelings and the need to tear their own skin apart at the thought of Jouno, but also in the way that Dazai wants to be torn apart and to let Jouno see their insides.

It's a war in the fact that Jouno hates everything Dazai reminds him of, hates the past ghosts that cling to them both and refuse to ever, ever let go. It's a war because Jouno can see how people believe that Dazai has changed and that Dazai is trying, meanwhile Jouno's need for change was used against him to unknowingly commit crimes and he loathes Dazai for that beyond reason. It's a war in that Jouno wants Dazai to suffer for what he has done but he also needs Dazai's touch to feel whole and to understand his place in the world.

The fall is bloody and messy and the landing is rebirth.

(it does not kill them, at least not yet, not until the current events are settled and the dust reveals where loyalties lie)

EDIT cuz i forgot: Jouno falls first but will never, ever admit that out loud because it would kill him to do so. Dazai knows this anyway. Dazai fell harder tho, absolutely face-first in a puddle of blood and despair

[bnesszai]

kunichuuzai + 1 and soukoku + 9 :P

Ela! Bites you!

Also Ela requesting an skk? What a blessed day <3 

kunichuuzai + “I love this” “What?” “Us.”

Chuuya watches his partners with a fond smile on their lips.  It’s nothing special, really. Kunikida is cooking and Dazai is “helping”, which just means that they’re sitting on the counter, humming a stupid tune, and throwing random things at Kunikida. Kunikida then scolds them. They whine and pout. Kunikida relents and gives Dazai a quick peck on the lips. And then the cycle repeats itself.  It’s stupid. It’s simple and ridiculous, but Chuuya is overtaken by overwhelming affection. Never did they imagine that there would be something they would want to hold onto and not be afraid of it withering away. Never did Chuuya imagine that one person, let alone two people, would look at him and see a human.  As if sensing his thoughts, Dazai looks over and sticks their tongue out. “Is the slug jealous of not getting enough attention?” In lieu of answering, Chuuya flips them off, marches over, and pulls Kunikida into a heated kiss. Dazai squawks, making Chuuya smile into Kunikida’s lips before pulling away.  “What was that, shitty mackerel?”  “Mean! Chuuya is a bully!”  Grinning, Chuuya slides his hand down Kunkida’s arm and tangles their fingers together, placing their other hand on Dazai’s leg.  “I love this,” Chuuya says.  “What?” Dazai asks.  Chuuya brings them close, kissing them sweet and slow. Dazai hums into their lips, but Chuuya pulls away, breathless with a giddy energy. He beams at Kunkida, resting his cheek against Dazai’s. “Us.”

~

skk + "Did you ever think we'd make it this far?"

“Did you ever think we’d make it this far?”  Chuuya keeps his head tilted upward, staring at the stars in the inky blue sky. Amongst them, he can see his own breath and Dazai’s lift, swirl together, and then dissipate. He wonders if there is an unwritten story there.  Or perhaps written, time and time again.  “No,” he admits, thinking of melting joints and pools of blood; of funerals and exploding cars.  “Yeah, me either,” Dazai breathes.  “Where are we, anyway?”  “Yokohama. Did the slug hit his head?” “Asshole,” Chuuya turns his head, finding Dazai already looking at him with an infuriating smile on their face. “You know what I meant.”  “I wonder.” “God, I hate you.”  “Hmm, I wonder,” Dazai repeats, fingers coming up to ghost Chuuya’s jaw. “How far have we come, do you think?”  “Far enough for me to kill you,” Chuuya says, turning his body toward Dazai. “Kill me how? With poison?” “Seems like the most effective method.” “I’m ready for it.”  Their chests are nearly pressed together, the wisps of their breaths tangling. Dazai’s hands are around Chuuya’s jaw, cheeks, and throat, back up to curling at his jawline to pull him closer still. Chuuya fists Dazai’s hair, his other hand at the back of their neck.  “Don’t come crying to me if it doesn’t work.”  “I would never.”  “Bullshit,” and then Chuuya yanks Dazai down and crashes their lips together.  It tastes like poison.

Prompt List:3

[bnesszai]

"what is wrong with you?" + any ship you'd like!

Ness basic bitch era is back, let's goooo~

"What is wrong with you?"

"Me?" Chuuya snaps, ripping his hand from Dazai's grip. "What about you, asshole?"

"Chuuya--"

"I try to be honest with you. I try to have an actual fuckin conversation, and you're just an asshole who wants to tease me about it rather than confront it."

Dazai doesn't say anything. Chuuya is angry, but his shoulders are hunched in hurt. His eyes won't meet Dazai's and his muscles are coiled, a scared animal two seconds from bolting.

"Just forget it. I'm done with your shit."

"No, Chuuya!"

Mercifully, Chuuya does stop, but he doesn't look back at them. "If the next words out of your mouth are a joke, I swear to god, they will not find your body."

"Tempting," Dazai says, but quickly continues when Chuuya takes another step forward, "I'm not good at this."

"Neither am I, dipshit."

Sighing, Dazai limps forward, putting themself in front of Chuuya and grabbing both of his gloved hands. Even with the distance, their skin crawls, just a bit. An awful day Chuuya has chosen for this.

"Chuuya, I--" Dazai scrunches up their lips, twists them around, chewing on their words. "I asked what is wrong with you because of the way I am, especially to you. But if you're serious--"

"Of course I am. I don't say shit for no reason like you do."

"If you're serious then I....I also--" Dazai lets out a noise of frustration. With one hand, Dazai cups Chuuya's cheek, trying to savor the feeling instead of flinching away from it. With the other, they intertwine their fingers together. "I promise I'll say it someday," Dazai says quietly. "Will you accept this for now?"

[minusboy]

hi vik. have you thought that "he's half of my soul, like poets say" and "but my soul knows otherwise" and "you're in there, akutagawa, i know you are". how geto wasn't there but his body attempted to protect gojo and how akutagawa wasn't there completely but he held a promise. have you thought about "he would sail to troy and i would follow, even into death" and "philtatos. most beloved" and "perhaps it is the greater grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone" and have y— (gets dragged away)

inhales. i would know him in death, at the end of the world. akutagawa it’s me; can’t you tell. at least curse me a little at the end. hurry up and go you fool, ‘bring him back to me’ he told them. just the two of us - do we need any more? you’re late, satoru. he is a weapon, a killer. you can use a spear as a walking stick but that will not change its nature. for six months you won’t kill anyone - of course; i keep my promises. how are you going to let yourself get used like that.. suguru? my best friend did, my one and only. when he died, all things soft and beautiful died with him. at least curse me a little at the end. just the two of us… do we need any more? at least curse me a little at the end. at least curse me a little at the end. at least