*whispers* i'd date marlowe in a heartbeat, because all those cons are qualities that appeal to me. i'm not co-dependent, you're co-dependent. ((don't look at me, i'm a mess))
Well friend then you’ll love me because the last time I saw a doctor was ten years ago and I get along by bubble gum, prayers, and a lot of peroxide and nyquil.
Did you know that you can un-fuck a mouth infection with peroxide because this is not recomended but it works when it’s the week before your friend’s wedding and your face is swollen and the pain scale is at an eight. I’ve got blankets hanging on the windows to ward out light to protect against migranes and I might have tonsilitis right now.
I’m honestly afraid that when I get insurance that the doctor will be like ‘wow you have like seven types of cancer this is a new record’ and I’ll be all like ‘so does that mean I can be saved’ and he’ll be all like ‘lol no you’re the usain bolt of dying but I am going to make a killing of selling this research story’