Dec 7, 2018
“Well when in Rome, do as the Romans do I guess. How do I look? I’ve been here long enough I thought I would try something new...”
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“Well when in Rome, do as the Romans do I guess. How do I look? I’ve been here long enough I thought I would try something new...”
“Wait, its Friday night and I DON’T have duty?”
“What am I going to do with myself?”
“Any US ships anything you have on Tomahawk missiles? This overhaul means I may have to go to the Naval Guided Missile School, and I wanna get a head start.”
“The battleships are repairing themselves using coke cans, again?”
“For the love Bull Halsey what do they think I’m paid for?!”
From Balao to Boomer
“Get back! It’s live!” Sealion shouted as he and the rest of the team he was with ran from the bomb. This was one of those ‘rare’ missions he conducted outside of the usual Abyssal war. One much less documented but his training was pertinent for. Right now they were somewhere in the middle east, the mission was to seek and destroy a training camp set up by various small nations to construct their own Kanmusu fleets to serve their own purpose.
Sealion rigged a series of bombs to destroy the central facility, the very heart and blow a hole as a means to escape. However something went wrong...it went very very wrong...He was running, the trigger was in his hand. Just before he hit the detonator he felt a pain in his back, then he started slumping forward. Turning around a man sneered over him, an assault weapon ready to finish him off.
“If I go out...may as well have the company...PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE AMMUNITION!” Sealion hit the button, the bomb went off...it was a blinding white light and deafening sound...He was sure he was gone, and since he was not at sea there was no Davy Jones to show the way. Just a lonely black...
Sealion, why do you drink?
“I drink to forget!”
Forget what?
“I forgot that a long time ago!”
"Attention to colors, and the national anthem!" Sealion called out and nodded to the LCI to play the bugle. The flag went up and all of the US detachments stood and saluted.
"Okay you're up." Sealion turned to the ship whose turn it was to sing this year.
Shipgirl Tips for Admirals
1) Destroyers need constant reassurance or they will die.
2) Battleships are sexually attracted to fire.
3) They weigh many times more than the average human, do no attempt to pick them up or any other physical activity.
4) Most are non-nuclear vessels be prepared to be eaten out of work and home. A proper spending plan for your base is vital.
5) Amendment to point two, Heavy Cruisers are also attracted to fire.
6) Amendment to point six, honestly all Capital Ships are attracted to anything that moves...
7) In reference to point 3, don’t be a boat fucker. You will be crushed and you will have deserved it.
8) If you are a boat fucker, you will lose your commission as an officer.
9) No matter how much they advance on you, don’t give in.
10) If you think you will be fighting fierce sea battles, be prepared for a life of boredom and paperwork.
11) No, shipgirls will not be used as means to escape boredom.
12) Your position as admiral does not entitle you to make your fleet a harem.
13) Honestly being an admiral is pretty pointless, no wars and no means of enjoying the company of your fleet. Mostly you will just have more mouths to feed.
14) Honestly all shipgirls are attracted to anything that moves. Be careful of the destroyers, they are jail bait and make a game out of putting more admirals on the predator list.
15) Sure the Tokitsukaze and Yuudachi models act like adorable puppies, but the will make you wish you adopted a fully grown Tibetan Mastiff. Train them well and let them know whose boss
16) Houshou will try to act as a mother toward you, then make you feel guilty on spending the holidays with your real mother and not her. Remedy this by acquiring as many IJN carriers as possible so she doesn’t suffer separation anxiety.
17) If you acquire Akagi, you MUST acquire Kaga unless you prefer have a carrier eat your entire supply without some sort of outside impulse control.
18) Never trust the cute/innocent ships. They are too smart for their own good.
19) Be prepared to be drafted into an actual command if a war breaks out.
20) Other than that, enjoy your new fleet!