#electronictransaction

[undzuweiter]

1, 4, 5, 13, 18, 24, 48, 50 :D

1: If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

hmmm that would give me about 22 years left so i would probably get married asap and have some babies.  the most i think about it the more selfish this sounds because then i would die when my baby was like, 18! that would be awful! but, babies. id also travel everywhere i could go and basically have no money BUT i wouldn't have to worry about saving for retirement or anything because... because. 

4: Would you rather be deaf or blind?

GOSH. ughh im going to say blind because music is my #1 passion even though art is like my #1.01 passion :( and because i love playing guitar and singing and listening to music.

5: What do you wish people knew about you?

i always feel like people underestimate how emotional i am at any point? and i feel like i am twice as emotional as everyone thinks i am. i might be deluding myself. but please note that i am very emotional

13: What is the most scared you’ve ever been in your life?

hm. i have not been super scared very many times in my life. i would actually have to say that the most intense fear i've ever felt is during nightmares, or right when i wake up from nightmares. that's really actually weird. 

18: If you could take a drug and change one aspect of your personality, which would you choose?

uhh. i'm naturally very assuming that people hate me when i do silly stupid things, and i've always been that way, and it's kind of crippling sometimes tbh. is insecurity a part of one's personality?... maybe not. i am very shy though, i would like to be a little more confident in myself and be able to like, call the doctor on my own or order a pizza or something.

24: When have you felt most alone?

probably when i broke up with my ex boyfriend in 2012 and nobody really knew all the reasons for the breakup or anything and i didn't know how to explain it to anyone and i didn't know how to talk to anyone about it

48: Who in your life makes you feel like you’re amazing?

lots of people! i've been really blessed/fortunate to have close friends for the past several years who make me feel like im worth their time! haha! jimmy and susanna and sarah and daniel and jessie and my parents and my grandparents. it's actually really great and im very happy

50: Are you okay?

as of this minute, yes. my life as a whole currently, yes. :)

Thanks!!!

[gouachetea]

[This is a typical "answer these questions and repost with your own" thing, except I didn't copy the wording over. So here, answer if you want to and write new questions if you want to!] 

littlestwillow, electronictransaction, greystreetliving, lizowl, kasamon, evalefae, sorrowulf, samoanpunch, journalgirl, n8kelly

1. What is your earliest/most distinct childhood memory?

2. Assuming reincarnation is real, what would you want to be in your next life?

3. What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? 

4. What is the dish you know how to cook the best?

5. What song (if any) brings up the most nostalgia for you? 

6. What movie do you think you've watched the most in your life? 

7. Favorite art style? 

8. What always cheers you up? 

9. How many times have you read your favorite book? 

10. What is your favorite piece of clothing in your wardrobe? 

[gouachetea]

[I'm going to post the answers to questions that were asked and then post my questions tagged to people... Though that might have to happen once I'm off work. I am indescribably sluggish at getting back to these things BUT I MAKE IT.]

1. What is your current favorite song and why?

Oh man... It's a toss up between "Burn Fetish" by Eyedea & Abilities, "If I Had A Heart" by Fever Ray, and "Mercury" by Bloc Party. This should probably give you a feeling for what general emotional state I've been in recently?

2. If you could, would you rather read someone’s mind or be invisible? 

I feel invisible enough (and sometimes I'm very conscious of actively turning on my invisibility powers) so I think it'd be cool to read peoples' minds. As long as I could turn it off sometimes. Maybe. 

3. What is one of your most embarrassing moments?

Not exactly embarrassing but it's what comes to mind? My roommate first semester of college walked in on me with a girl (I hadn't come out to her as queer but also hadn't said I was straight). She left immediately, but ladyfriend and I still felt like doing something else so we went to the dining hall and got food and sat down. A friend of mine then came over to me and told me that my roommate had just been down there and shouted hysterically about how she'd walked in on me with a girl and she hadn't known oh lawd. So that was kind of... Weird. 

4. Who was your first kiss and are you still in contact with them?

Sarah, who was a member of my Girl Scout troop. And no, I actually haven't talked to her in years. I don't think I'd still be into her if she's the same person she was then.

5. Do you think lying in order to not hurt someone’s feelings is justified? 

Totally depends on the lie. I've usually been able to compassionately hurt someone's feelings (because I love people but they need the truth). I'm sure there are lies that can be justified by not wanting to hurt someone. I just don't think all lies can be justified by that excuse. 

6. What is one of your favorite childhood memories? 

Hmm... I don't think about my childhood very much. Maybe building driftwood structures on a beach in Washington with other kids. We were on the yearly camping trip with our parents, who are all friends from school. It's so devastatingly beautiful in Washington. I've never asked, but I'm pretty sure I was conceived there. 

7. If you could be anywhere right now, with anyone, who would it be and where would you be? 

With James, in some cool bar neither of us has ever been in before. When I first read over these questions a few nights ago, this is the question I knew the answer to immediately. Then I ended up at a house party with James that night, and we made out on an overpass while walking back to his place. 

I don't know, of all the people and places in all of time and space, that is currently where I'm happiest. He brings me so many adventures, has always been honest and compassionate, and he loves me because I challenge him. 

8. Coffee or tea?

Tea. I actually think coffee is quite lovely and I still enjoy the smell, but it makes my anxiety really bad and at this point my anxiety needs no help. Tea is also very nice and the taste isn't quite as sharp as coffee. Tea is infinitely comforting.

9. If you were to major in something other than what you chose, what would it be?

I'm still partially deciding what I'm majoring in. Still working on the LGBT Studies degree. More than likely I'll go into Art History with an emphasis on queer art and artists. Honestly I can't imagine not studying Art History, but I guess English would be an easy and enjoyable major. 

(Side note - James has his degree in English. He asked me recently if I ever think about the fact that he's four years older than me. "I got over it after the fourth time I made a literary reference you didn't get.')

10. What are 5 of the most important things you look for in a significant other?

Emotional warmth/emotional intelligence is definitely the biggest one.

Love for learning. (They don't have to read - there are documentaries, podcasts, etc)

Sexual connection 

Passion (for something), though I think I find wanderers more often

Good life skills (cooking, martial arts, etc), though I think this is more like "interesting" and I only really end up around interesting people. 

I kept wanting to say "gratitude" or "validating" or things like that, but those fall into "emotional warmth/intelligence."

11. If you had to choose 1 movie you had to watch every single day, what movie would you choose? 

The first thing that came to mind was The Power of Forgiveness, but after a little reflection... Maybe The Buddha? I'm pretty sure I'd want something that wasn't a feature film and that was spiritual or very absorbingly scientific.