#elfie posting

[elfieafterdark]

Not dead. Just been busy!

[tres13]

Things Lil Man has done so far that somehow do nothing to detract from his cuteness:

- Spent his first whole day in my house hiding and refusing to make eye contact.

- Has spent every night since where I try to have him room with my sister (instead of me) WAILING AND CRYING for hours, until he either passes out from Eepy, or is allowed to come back to my room to sleep.

- Made himself so sick with terror when riding in my car that he threw up. Twice. (We’re working on it)

- Stole all the cat toys and chewed them open so they had to be tossed out before he could eat any stuffing.

- Was so scared of his food bowl the first few days we had to coax him to eat by dumping some food on the floor, then gradually luring him to eat from the bowl with treats. Had no such issue with the water bowl made from the SAME MATERIAL.

- “Punched” me in the face with his beefy little paws multiple times when I’ve bent down to pet/play with him. Done with the complete spirit of puppy glee, Zero Malice.

- Tried desperately to coax the cat to play with him (full gamut of wiggling, bowing, and yipping); cried when it did not work. Repeats this every day.

- Also got slapped by the cat when he really went all in with the attempt, and is now scared to pass her if she’s blocking his way. Still does the above.

- Went APESHIT over our first good week of snow here, and utterly refused to come in the house, in spite of it being so cold he was getting ice balls stuck all over his fur. Had to be tricked into coming in with various tactics from treats to hiding behind the door and making weird noises so he’d investigate.

- Very nearly succeeded in teaching us, the humans, to *toss* him his treats (in an effort to lure him back into the house) instead of offering from our hands; the former worked twice before he started snatching the treats and JETTING back out across the yard.

- Murdered a H*rry P*tter beanie I don’t wear anymore while I was trying to nap. (Aelfwine Jayce Gingerbiscuit says Trans Rights)

- Stole and murdered one of my socks.

- Continues to steal peoples’ socks whenever they are in reach. The lad is obsessed.

- Has tried to eat everything from fuzz on the carpet to yard debris. Constantly forces us to employ the phrase “WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH” multiple times daily. Takes hours to finish *one serving* of his kibble, in spite of showing a definite liking for it.

- Got hold of and *bit through* his microchip tag. Tried to do the same to his (thankfully made of metal) rabies vaccine tag.

- Taught himself to jump up on my bed last night. Cute…except for the part where it’s a twin bed, and not exactly roomy enough for both of us.

- Has convinced himself that 10pm is Crazy Hour, and refuses to chill tf out until he has been sufficiently entertained.

- Is ridiculously photogenic, but also hyperaware of cameras. Won’t let us get any photo where his isn’t staring right at us.