It was one of those days she could give to herself where she could either focus in on everything, notice the way a girl on a corner was running her thumb on the edge of her cigarette and aimlessly stare, or she could let it all spill in together and just be fluid. And she did that. And that’s how Lexa ended up in a neighborhood she didn’t know, at an almost empty intersection.
She didn’t even raise her gaze until half way through when she spotted a tall girl, black hair running wild and she only got to see her smile directly at her when she tripped on the border, hitting the pavement hard. She ripped her jeans and scraped both her knees, she seemed to only bruise her palms too because falling into them didn’t help. But before she could look at herself, the girl was beside her, hands on her back.
“Tell me you’re okay,” and as she helped her get up, she saw her knees. “You’re not. Christ. You know what, I live just nearby. Let me get you cleaned up because looks bad.” Having her smile from afar made her trip all over herself, but having this girl right up in her face made her lose her words. She just kinda had her mouth opened. Maybe it was the embarrassment, maybe it was her, but she couldn’t get one word out.
“I don’t even want to hear it. It’s hot today and this city is dirty. And cabs are even worse. No, just come,” finger raised, she shut her down before she could embarrass herself further. It wasn’t until Lexa stood up that she felt the extent of it and made a grimace.
“It hurts, doesn’t it? Let me,” and she had an arm around her, put Lexa’s around her neck and Lexa didn’t mean to, but she felt a bit of her skin and it was soft and this girl seemed so-
“God, you’re a mess.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but why are you-”
“Literally being a knight in 3 day old armor? You looked like you broke falling down, actually. And all because I smiled,” now that was new. Was she really that-
“Do you really think I fell because you smiled at me?” But Lexa liked her, her cocky smile and her bright eyes.
“You were fine for a long time, I saw you coming from afar.”
“So you were checking me out first, huh?”
“I mean, if I knew you were gonna take a dive like that, I’d have given you half a smile or something. Anyway, I’m Costia.”
“I’d like to say nice to meet you, but I’m literally bleeding all over myself. I’m Lexa.”
“Stop being so dramatic,” but she was laughing and she felt Costia’s hand slightly squeeze her side.
“I didn’t complain tho. Could have hit me with the half smile, maybe I’d have just walked into a poll.”
“Please, you would have broken your nose then.”
Inside Costia’s apartment, she didn’t let her take her shoes off. She led her straight to her bed and helped her sit. She gestured a lot with her hands and her eyes were all over the place, mumbling to herself. She was looking for something. As soon as Costia left the room, Lexa started looking around. It could have seemed very clean and organized. But then there were the coffee marks near the window, two. She didn’t use coasters. And she had dust marks where frames would have been on her nightstand, but now there were just a few rings and a watch. And Lexa didn’t have time to look further because Costia was back with a first aid kit that seemed used.
“Are you the mob’s doctor or what.”
“Close. Take your pants off.”
“Not even a coffee. You didn’t seem like that type of a girl.”
“Well I do smile at girls on the street, what do you expect?”
She turned around and looked for something as Lexa took them off. She threw a pair of jeans on the bed next to Lexa and took Lexa’s.
“What are you doing?”
“Listen, I get that we’re really into trash right now, but these can’t be saved. They’re going in the trash and you’re taking those.”
“You have two heads over me.”
“Just roll them up. You’ll seem in style.”
Costia kneeled before her and maybe Lexa’s heart was beating a bit faster, maybe she blushed a bit, because when Costia looked up at her, she gave her that smile again.
“Don’t fall and hit your head,” Lexa laughed at that and covered her face with her hand. Costia shook her head and started cleaning her up. She had a gentleness to her and carefulness, Lexa couldn’t help but smile herself. She watched her go through the process, right down to the bandages. Costia wrapped both her knees, made sure it’s not too tight and Lexa couldn’t give her an answer, she just nodded and gulped.
“But seriously, you seem like you’ve done this before. Regularly. You’re sure you’re not a mob doctor?”
“You know, I’m not going to tell you,” she got up and went into the kitchen, leaving Lexa to get into her jeans. She did have to roll them up. “I want you to need to a reason to look for me,” she came back with a glass of water for Lexa and after handing it over, she leaned against the door frame, arms crossed.
“You really think I wouldn’t give you back your jeans?”
“No, have you seen how good they look on you?! I wouldn’t.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I want you to take me out for that coffee. Although not right now because I was coming to pick something up.” Costia went to the other side of the room, bending over to get a backpack and god she looked. “Wanna share an Uber?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Sure ‘I wanna share an Uber’ or 'I wanna take you out?’”
“Both.” And maybe it was just the way Costia was because as she crossed the room again, she grabbed Lexa by her wrist, still her touch was gentle and careful.
“Good. Want anything before we go?”
“Your number so I can actually call you?”
“As if I was letting you go without it.”
//
A day later, bleeding into late afternoon, she did call Costia. She had been distracted at the gallery, she couldn’t hear anything Anya was saying about this new artist and how she wanted to put together a show. It went straight through her ears. Anya didn’t bother to ask Lexa about the knees or her distraction, she would talk when she would. It was her way. Costia picked up on the second ring and her voice this time sounded tired and rougher around the edges.
“Hey, mobster. It’s the pants thief,” and Lexa felt like she was choking a bit, maybe Costia’s daze was gone and-
“Lexa. Yes, I’ve been waiting for your call. I haven’t drank anything, thought maybe you’d let me completely dehydrate before you’d call about it,” and just like that, her voice got the spark back in it. She could hear the smile on Costia. How the background was fading, she was going to a corner to hear better. And she could swear she heard her putting her other hand on the phone, too.
“What are doing? Wanna go out later or…?”
“You know, I’ll text you the address and you can come meet my familia. Don’t dress up, please. I’ve had a long day and I don’t want to pull a Lexa, fall, hit my head, all because of an ironed shirt. It isn’t good for my reputation.”
“You have a reputation?”
“Not really, but you’d help me out, get these girls off my back. It’s tiring rejecting so many every day. I’ll text you the address, okay?”
//
Maybe half an hour later, she was there. And it was a dancing studio, empty. The room in the text was in the back of the first floor, you could hear the echo of a song because the door was opened. Lexa peeked inside and Costia was spread on the floor, phone in her hand.
“Oh, no. Someone got to you before me and now you’ve fallen,” she went to Costia’s side and gave her a hand to help her stand. Costia lit up at the sight of Lexa. Her hair wasn’t messed up anymore, the gentle curls falling to each side, the light blonde on it. Through her sleepy eyes, she looked so beautiful that it took the soul out of her, she couldn’t get the energy to get up, it was all going to her overloaded heart.
“Yeah, just now. I got hit.”
“Oh, where is she?”
“Right before me,” Costia loved the pink in Lexa’s cheeks, the way they’d flair up when she looked directly at her. But Lexa was even more taken aback by Costia here. She looked like she had been crying from exhaustion, it made her look even younger.
“Are you telling me or what?”
“I mean, detective, can’t you tell? I’m a criminal. I broke in.”
“The day I forget my handcuffs!” The both laughed and Costia started stepping on her own foot, a lot less controlled now. The power dynamics had changed a bit now she saw Lexa cleaned up and focused, with a purpose. In control.
“Sooo, I’m a ballerina. That’s why I had the kit on standby. I’m always two steps away from ending up like you.”
“That’s amazing.”
“Yeah, I’m a mess, too.”
“No, you. You’re a ballerina,” now it was Costia’s turn to blush because she feel Lexa’s eyes on her.
“Right. Let me take my bag, we can grab something to eat.”
“Okay, but if you’re a ballerina, what do you do for fun?”
“Put on shows,” she looked back at Lexa and she wasn’t really getting it. God, this girl. She had to throw everything at her. “Like Lana del Rey shows? Like,” and she did the whiny and high pitched voice “Let me put on a show for you, da-”
Costia turned red because that slipped, she didn’t want to say that. She joked too much, she was too flirty. God, why couldn’t she tone down a bit.
But Lexa bursted out laughing, shaking her head and this time, she grabbed Costia by her wrist and started dragging her towards the exit. And when Lexa turned to speak again, she really took Costia back, a sly smirk on her.
— we were wolf girls, kissing wildly with teeth and nails. Our hair fell in our faces and our fingers drew blood and we didn’t care. We’d always been savage with each other.
girls like her are almost always intimidating, they seem indestructible. all that hurt worn out like it’s nothing, all their cruelty kept as far away from the shadows as possible. but there’s nothing shy about her kindness either, she bares herself as open as her teeth when she smiles. she didn’t hold her tears back and she broke in your bed, in your arms, she didn’t hold her ‘i love you,’ but she didn’t hold herself either when they cursed your name and she didn’t hold that bottle in her hands either, it broke on that guy’s head. there are no shadows around her, she burns so bright from inside out she lights up every corner. just watch her, she’ll burn herself out one of these days.
