I have a bestfriend. Her name is Ashley. I love her a lot. We drifted apart over the summer. I was scared of her leaving or just anyone leaving so I caused the drift instead. I made youth group the substitution and support thing. Ever since I did drift away from her, I miss her so much. When I'm at times of relapsing or wanting to throw up, or wanting to starve, i have no one to go to. I love going to Tim. I do. But he's not a girl. He's not that kind of someone who I can call a second sibling. Its Junior year and I come to another problem. I miss her so much. Patti is also her friend too though. I know Patti's going through some stuff right now with Jason and herself. So I let ashley be there for her. Ash doesn't need too much stress having to be worried about 2 people. and so i stopped talking to her and let her be with patti. I didn't interact with them. Who do i have now though? I have a lot of friends. None of them can compare the rank of Ashley though. Not even tim can. I miss her. I'm alone when I want to relapse now. I'm alone when I want to throw up. I'm alone when I want to starve. I'm alone and I don't have anyone to tell anything to anymore. I also care for patti and I dont want anything bad to happen to her since I care too. Best protect others than protect yourself :)