Eliwing, after turning 20 dollars into 500.
Eliwing: I honestly find it easier to win at blackjack than to win a game of LoL

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Eliwing, after turning 20 dollars into 500.
Eliwing: I honestly find it easier to win at blackjack than to win a game of LoL
So it's erect...What do I do with my penis?
Eliwing
2012
Exactly one year ago, an event changed my life and on the 2nd of January, after hearing the news I left work in one of the most heart-breaking moments of my life. I started crying a lot after this night any time I was alone. Car rides to work, the shower, on a jog, I just could not keep myself together. I mean I did with my friends. I was a person to vent to for some of them and I just couldn't let myself break in front of them. I didn't do much in terms of grieving for a long time. And I didn't necessarily need anyone to deal. In hindsight, I probably should have found someone. After January 1st, I went through absolutely everything I had of Jennifer. Online conversations, old emails, voicemails, gifts, etc. I laughed at how many conversations I had with her of Julian. The absolute adoration she had for him just broke my heart. Eventualy, I came across a conversation I had with her giving me support no matter what career I went into. Whether or not I went for the money or for something more. Not long after this I started the EMT program at PCC. Her absence left me and my group of friends...scattered. And I don't if it's gotten better or worse ever since. Also in January, I met two very grand people. Amanda and Harry. I'm pretty sure back then, I didn't think I'd know them to this day. Amanda is an awesome gal I met at a surprise b-day party who's personality really just went far beyond anything I could've guessed that night. I nevver thought I'd even see her again after that January night, but lo and behold, I've had a lot of tv shows and music added to my life because of her and she's just been a great overall addition to the list of people I call friends. Harry I admit I don't interact with as much as I'd prefer, but I feel as though we're in good balance. Not too much interaction and not too little. It gives us room to talk more or less when we meet. I WILL SAY, I've never had more trouble arguing with anyone than this guy over the possibility of a future post-apocalyptic zombie-land. But it's that kinda personality that keeps an animated person such as myself grounded. And I could use grounding. That sounds weird. Elliott is an interesting guy. Has mainly all the same interests as me or at the very least, a similar sense of humor for we share completely different points of views on many things. Anyways, I honestly didn't think I'd ever consider him to be a close friend or anything. But whatta ya know, time will do the trick. I mention these three people because they were three people who upon meeting, I never imagined anything beyond a second meeting. That makes them special because they broke through an emotion in me. Rather, a lack of the emotion of...I'm not sure what to call it. The feeling you get when you absolutely have to get to know someone. During the course of time in meeting all of these people, I never wanted a friend, especially not after Jennifer. But these three managed to break through. Elliott is a bit of an exception as I had talked to him prior to 2012, but EH. Technicalities. I wouldn't say I'd gotten to know him until a bit later on. Jennifer inspired or was the reason for a lot of things in my life. The EMT program. She was part of the reason I started playing the guitar. Or my Ukulele. Why I started writing more. Why I joined a gym. Why I clung to certain friends more than others. Now I've also had other big things happen that were unrelated to all of this. Found a sparring partner. Family business. My unrelenting attitude towards my friends. A sinkhole of bitterness at times. Went looking for ladyfriends in the wrong places. Comic-con. Stuff with Ashley. And Julian. I would say out of every one of my childhood friends, I'd gotten closer to him more than any other childhood friend. I guess in the end, when I think of 2012, the first two things that come to mind are Jennifer, and the people I''ve not only met, but gotten to know. And I'll say that's good enough for me.
I feel as though I haven't had many meaningful conversations with my friends as of late (with the exception of Eliwing and Keenanmoore).
Or maybe not so much meaningful as just...full of content.
Adding in the thought that it may not be possible with some of them to hold a conversation? This is problematic.