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The Rules
Ellen Fein/Sherrie Schneider
1995
The book: https://amzn.to/3NQRFgf
THE RULES: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr Right by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider
First of all, if you are reading this book you are a passive woman (or curious man) who probably doesn't know how to stand up for themselves in the dating scene. You're desperate. You find this book, small enough to fit in a purse, and it looks like the help you've been asking for. You've never been so wrong before in your life. This book, allegedly a self help book, contains 35 "Rules" that are supposed to help a lonely woman catch a man. It is full of anti-feminist sentiment and provides guidelines on how to be what is basically the most annoying person possible. Never returning phone calls and forcing the man to pay for everything on a date is pretty lame. "The Rules" are obsolete. Almost none of the advice applies to the modern day world of Tinder, Grindr, and other services (like OKCupid, which I must warn you uses stolen data-- like mine). While some of the advice (don't meet a stranger at your place or take him home) is actually useful, most of it is basic common sense. The clincher? Ellen Fein, one of the co-authors, got a divorce. Yes, a DIVORCE. The VERY THING these rules claim you'll never have. If that doesn't tell you all you need to know about this book, then I don't know what will. ISBN: 0-446-60274-4
It's kinda a funny story actually...
Like Tupac and his thug life, I can safely say that I didn't choose the The Rule life, The Rule life chose me.
I am totally kidding. The way I chose to implement The Rules into my life was completely and utterly my decision.
HOWEVER, the book itself fell into my hands in a way completely out of my control and I'll get to that in a bit. Let me tell you about myself.
I am a 19 year old university sophomore (or 2nd year for my fellow Canadians). I mostly identify with being an introvert however a couple drinks can change that real quick. My favourite hobby is Netflix and I would love to be an old cat lady on a 30 acre lot when I grow up. I am also a varsity athlete (volleyball player to be exact).
Well now that you know me I guess you can fuck me...just kidding. That would be against The Rules.
The book Not Your Mother's Rules: the New Secrets for Dating by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider fell into my lap one morning following, what I thought was, a catastrophic mental breakdown. After being frustrated of not understanding why guys didn't stay with me or just weren't interested in me at all I did what all other girls do at my age, I called my mother. My lifeline and crutch, my mother did what she knew best and tried to help build my confidence. I have been single for a while and at that moment was just fed up with not being good enough for anyone. There have been a few guys who entered my life, but, unfortunately for them, never stayed to enjoy the show (their loss).
So wouldn't you know it, 2 days later I woke up to my roommate (we will call her ClumsyTrackStar), running up to my room with a package for me that was just delivered. I opened it up and low and behold there was my copy of Not Your Mother's Rules sent to me via express mail by my own mother (thanks, Mom!).
I read the entire thing in 1 day and it changed me.
I understood why I kept on having such "bad luck" or misfortune when it came to the dating world. However, I did not agree with everything in the book. I refuse to wear big hoop earrings because that is just not me. I also believe that sometimes a girl just needs to get f-ing laid, and that is okay. This is why I call myself a semi- rules girl.
On this blog I am going to share my dating life and the way I believe The Rules should be followed for girls like me. My promise to you is to be as honest as possible and spare you the dirty little details (unless you want them ;)). I am more than excited to share this journey with you and hope you stick around!... unlike those other assholes.
Signed,
BeautyBrainsBooty16
Why was I upset over you? If you really liked me you would do anything and everything to come see me. I'm not gonna sit around waiting for you. I'm a fucking catch so if you won't take your chance someone else will.
Regola n. 34: Amate soltanto chi vi ama.
Le regole. Ellen Fein
The Rules
Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other" ✔
Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance) ✔
Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much ✔
Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls
Always End Phone Calls First
Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
Fill Up Your Time before the Date
How to Act on Dates 1, 2, and 3
How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time
Always End the Date First
Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week
No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
Don't Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy
Don't Tell Him What to Do
Let Him Take the Lead
Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him
Don’t Open Up Too Fast
Be Honest but Mysterious
Accentuate the Positive and Other Rules for Personal Ads
Don’t Live with a Man (or Leave Your Things in His Apartment)
Don't Date a Married Man
Slowly Involve Him in Your Family and Other Rules for Women with Children
Practice, Practice, Practice! (or, Getting Good at The Rules)
Even if You're Engaged or Married, You Still Need The Rules
Do The Rules, Even when Your Friends and Parents Think It's Nuts
Be Smart and Other Rules for Dating in High School
Take Care of Yourself and Other Rules for Dating in College
Next! and Other Rules for Dealing with Rejection
Don't Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist
Don't Break The Rules
Do The Rules and You’ll Live Happily Ever After!
Love Only Those Who Love You
Be Easy to Live With
The Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right is a self-help book by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, originally published in 1995
I do the first three rules and it got me nowhere to any men. Is this for real useful?
Regola n.34: Amate soltanto chi vi ama.
Le Regole. Ellen Fein.
