#ellen shh

[danfanciesphil]

In all seriousness I don’t know what I’d do without fanfiction and the people that engage with me through my stories so..... bless every single person that’s ever read one of my fics and especially if you’ve ever said anything nice about it, sometimes your words are what keep me going. thank you. 

[danfanciesphil]

hey who wants to see me killing a natasha romanoff cosplay

[danfanciesphil]

Proceeding From Here

Hello my lovelies,

Since the Big Day of Dan’s coming out video, I’ve gotten a lot of questions from you all about whether or not I’m going to continue to be active in the phandom, and whether I’ll still be writing phanfiction. I know, of course, that Dan’s coming out was a huge turning point for everyone that supports him (and obviously for him as well), but I have been especially conflicted in the aftermath for a number of reasons. Suffice it to say that, after a lot of thought, I’ve decided to step back from writing fanfiction about Dan and Phil for the time being. This is not to say I will never return, because honestly I feel we are all floundering right now, nobody knows what the future of being a Dan and Phil fan will be; their content could remain relatively the same, or it could drastically change. I would like to wait a while and see where this new information and possible rebrand takes us. 

To explain myself a bit more, the reason I feel that I need to stop writing phanfiction for the time being is this: it is obvious to me since Dan’s video that Dan and Phil are currently, and always have been, romantically connected. Until now, I realise that I didn’t honestly believe that to be true. I really, really hoped it was true, and I used this blog and my writing to fantasise that it could be true, because their relationship (regardless of romantic overtones) is absurdly, wildly beautiful in a soulmate kind of way - which is why they are so amazing as a duo. To find out that the things I have been writing about - essentially my own prettily worded daydreams - are real is shocking and bizarre. It’s like finding out the dreams you’ve been having for years are really happening somewhere on the planet. Knowing that their relationship is genuine completely transforms my attitude to writing about them, particularly as I respect the two men so much, and would never want to accidentally cross any boundary by speculating on something that as Dan said they prefer to keep private. You could argue that I was doing this anyway of course, even before Dan admitted the truth, but my justification for writing the stuff I write has always been that on numerous occasions, both men have said they don’t mind fanfiction being written about them, and have even read certain stories aloud during videos and livestreams. 

I no longer feel that this is a good enough reason to continue. It seems, what with everything Dan has so wonderfully shared, that he would prefer to continue a relationship with fans that is both non-invasive, and more open and honest than the one he had with us before. 

Don’t get me wrong, knowing that Dan and Phil’s relationship is not pure phandom-hive-mind fantasy is absolutely amazing. It makes be absurdly happy to know that they do really have each other in every respect, as best friends, as business partners, and as life partners as well. I am so so glad for them, and I do not regret a moment of this blog and the support I have given them, as I truly feel everything we do as a phandom (aside from the old sucky invasive stuff) has led to building Dan’s confidence enough that he could share his true self with us all. I have no plans to leave the phandom entirely at the moment, but I do think I’ll be taking a significant step backwards, mostly to allow Dan space to put forth his intentions as a creator moving forwards, and to establish what sort of fan I should be in order to give him the best support and encouragement that I can. 

I hope you all understand, and I love every single one of you. 

Ellen xxxx

P.S. This is my opinion alone. I have no qualms whatsoever about anyone else’s decision to continue writing about phan. In fact, if you feel comfortable with it, I’m a huge supporter of fanfiction as a creative outlet and Dan has, as far as we know, stated that he is too. 

P.P.S. My existing phanfiction is not going anywhere. You will still be able to access everything I have already written. 

[danfanciesphil]

Hey mum, I need an advice! how did you motivate to actual learn etc. for uni? I’m in my fourth semester but i still haven’t quite figured out how to actually bring myself to do stuff

So, honestly in my undergraduate degree i was pretty unmotivated as well, but when i got to my masters degree i suddenly had a kind of epiphany. I think it’s because i took a year off in between the undergrad and the masters where i worked in a horrible posh shop/cafe in notting hill serving wanky rich people (and once lily allen! can u believe) and was utterly miserable (also going through a three-way breakup lol). Even though the masters degree cost me Soooooo much money and i literally moved countries to do it, i was utterly thrilled that i had the opportunity to escape what was honestly one of the unhappiest periods of my life and be a student again. 

I dont think i appreciated student life at all the first time around, but being a student is a wonderful wonderful thing - your only job is to learn. Do you see how beautiful that is? At no other time will you be expected to be so free, at no other time will people not see you as a slacker or a mooch. You are so young, and your brain is so ready to absorb things, even if it’s tough going. Think of all the stuff out there that you don’t know yet, all the people you haven’t argued with yet in a passionate debate where both of you have delicious arsenals of info to exchange! 

The reason students get so demotivated in academic institutions *imo* is because the structure of universities and the way curriculums are designed can feel restrictive and overwhelming. Essays and exams are just... honestly awful, there’s no way around that, i have so many problems with academia in general because what?? is the point?? in testing students in these dated formats? 

But try to think of it a different way: you are there to discover your PASSION. You are there not to write predictable essays about subjects professors teach over and over again. You are there to find what it is that enthralls you, that motivates you, that gets you excited enough that you’ll ramble to your friends and write a huge fuck off thesis about it no problem. Keep going to lectures and seminars, keep exploring through the mounds of books and papers they give you. Look for the subjects that make you want to read more, to watch more, to research more and PURSUE THEM. That’s what education should be. it’s supposed to be something you want, not something you endure. 

i hope any of this helps haha, i know it’s rambly. <3 

[danfanciesphil]

pls fill my teacup what happened yesterday and why did ppl think dnp broke up or w/e

[danfanciesphil]

guys pls dont overreact i was only asking if anyone would read something different, that doesn’t mean i’m abandoning the phandom or w/e. in response to the many asks i receive daily about continuing to write phan im sorry but i still havent felt comfortable enough to resume at the moment. i dont know if it will change! it might, but in the meantime, i’ll still be here, same as always. 

[danfanciesphil]

you know it’s bad when phil gets sent a furry snowman photo and doesn’t immediately call dan to show him :/

[danfanciesphil]

oh shit whaddup im one follower away from 4,000!!!