Dr. Seuss Goes to Washington
Horton Hears a Boo!
Elliot Kirschner
Feb 24
Dear friends,
There are many reasons I’ve decided not to watch tomorrow’s State of the Union address. But it really boils down to I just don’t want to!
I thought I’d explain why by channeling one of my favorite writers from childhood. With apologies to the real genius of Dr. Seuss, here is my attempt to borrow a bit of his mischief and meter.
I do not plan to watch his speech.
I will keep my ears well out of reach.
I will not be blinded by orange hair.
My attention span will not be there.
I will not watch it in my house!
I will not watch it with my spouse!
I will not watch it with my kids!
I will not doomscroll online vids!
I will not watch him lie and lie.
I would rather eat
a cold French fry!
I will not give his hatred space.
I will not watch his cruel face.
I do not want to see or hear
His sycophants stomp and cheer!
I do not like his ire or rage,
That vapid bluster which defines our age.
We have seen his tired act before.
The sneer, the shrug, the rotten core.
Nothing he says will last or matters
Because his credibility is in tatters.
He will try to confuse us without shame
From the thousands of files that contain his name.
Because even though he likes to bellyache
The loser label he will never shake.
So my plans for tomorrow are up in the air.
If I stub my toe I do not care.
No pain could match what I would see
If I turned on the news on my TV.
Because here is the thing about his show.
It feeds on outrage.
It needs us to go.
It needs our clicks.
It needs our glare.
It needs us angry sitting there.
So let us deny him what he wants most,
The ratings numbers over which to boast.
Standing up may take some guts.
But that’s the only way to deflate a Narcissiputz.
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© 2026 Elliot Kirschner



















